When....

[twisted_sky]

When I'm depressed I secretly contemplate suicide. Just think about it, what to do, how to do it. What's been running in my mind lately is me laying in a bathtub half dressed after taking a whole bottle of pills. All of that, and having Joy Division in the cd player on repeat. That doesn't mean that I'm suicidal, it just means that I think

Comments

[fever_head]

don't cut yourself. you don't need to, and the scars are ugly. i know that i don't find my own particularly attractive.

don't kill yourself. i'd be so bored.

why, though, out of curiousity, would you be HALF-DRESSED in the bathtub after your fantasy overdose? and would there be water in the bathtub?

[fever_head]

and by the by, you're wrong dude. everyone in aa is encouraged to never drink again.

[twisted_sky]

i've never been to aa, i've been to na but only a few times. so, yeah, i'm wrong.

[twisted_sky]

it's not a plan. if i planned it out, i'd have it done right.

all of it are just thoughts, not plans, and of no intention of having it done.

[jubilee]

I understand. I do the same thing. Depression rolls in, suicidal thoughts along for the ride. They often just come hand in hand. Almost like a natural reflex of my brain. Do *I* have any real intentions of acting on it? No.
I suppose it almost feels like an old friend come to visit, those thoughts.
I don't know.

[twisted_sky]

you can't have lightning without the thunder. that's how depression is, there's something that goes along for the ride.