I've been provisionally accepted!!
My calculus professor told me to apply for the Math and Science Institute. I asked about my low GPA (long story, got some F's) and that I hadn't been in school for awhile. He said do it anyway. The day before the deadline I happened to see him and he asked if I had done it. I said no, I don't think my grades will get me in. He encouraged me to just do it. I forgot that I said I would till I was going to bed at 4AM. I only applied because I told him I would. I never expected to get accepted. I just decided that it would figure that I didn't get in.
I got my official letter of provisional acceptance IF I get a B or higher in the calculus class I'm in now. I think I'm at a C but I don't know. Most of my math grades are C's. But I was really happy and then quickly super stressed. Lol I have a quiz and the final left to raise my grade. I'll be studying tonight bc there's also a make up test I'll probably be taking. I just took one yesterday.
There's a tutor for the class after every non-test class. I go every single time. The kid is 19 and I feel like a dunce next to him but he's such a great kid and good guy that we're almost friends. He's going off to college after this term I think. I have to write him a nice note or something. Anyway, by the end of the class and tutor session yesterday I was so wiped mentally and from my back, that I couldn't think about math anymore. I was just seeing white in my head. I started to cry and that's when I realized that I was stressing the hell out. Chronic pain drains me super fast but I don't notice it because I ignore everything until suddenly I'm crashing/freaking out.
I don't know if this post is comprehensive at all. I'm normally so much more ....fucking eloquent, damnit. XD Thanks for trying to understand whatever the hell I just said. I just wanted to share. I'm carefully optimistic about this and I have to admit: it feels kinda good to have a goal to reach for that has nothing to do with my self image.
I got my official letter of provisional acceptance IF I get a B or higher in the calculus class I'm in now. I think I'm at a C but I don't know. Most of my math grades are C's. But I was really happy and then quickly super stressed. Lol I have a quiz and the final left to raise my grade. I'll be studying tonight bc there's also a make up test I'll probably be taking. I just took one yesterday.
There's a tutor for the class after every non-test class. I go every single time. The kid is 19 and I feel like a dunce next to him but he's such a great kid and good guy that we're almost friends. He's going off to college after this term I think. I have to write him a nice note or something. Anyway, by the end of the class and tutor session yesterday I was so wiped mentally and from my back, that I couldn't think about math anymore. I was just seeing white in my head. I started to cry and that's when I realized that I was stressing the hell out. Chronic pain drains me super fast but I don't notice it because I ignore everything until suddenly I'm crashing/freaking out.
I don't know if this post is comprehensive at all. I'm normally so much more ....fucking eloquent, damnit. XD Thanks for trying to understand whatever the hell I just said. I just wanted to share. I'm carefully optimistic about this and I have to admit: it feels kinda good to have a goal to reach for that has nothing to do with my self image.