(no subject)
prom is on June 5th. Jordan is taking me. I wouldn't be going unless I had him to go with, or if Jessica wanted me to go with her. I'm starting to think about dresses. If I had the way I wanted I would be going in a tux but Jordan doesn't want that so I won't. I don't really know what I want, all I know is I think I want a ballroom style dress that doesn't cut too low in the front. I initially wanted to go out and look around for some ideas of what would be good, then design my own dress and make it. I then thought, I'm not that great on a sewing machine. So I figured it might be safer to just buy one. Tonight I was thinking about it, and I dont know if I will be able to find the "perfect dress", so I may have to make it, I mentionned the idea to Jordan and he got pissed.
He wants me to buy a dress so we can have a "normal prom" and be "normal teenagers for once". I was hurt. I'm not normal. I KNOW THAT. I'm a freak of nature and I'm more than a little crazy. and I hate that word, but right now I don;t give a crap. So why does he want normalcy all of a sudden? Besides, who would know? If I did a good job at my dress then no one would know, and suddenly I felt even more hurt. I love to make things, its my passion. And in my mind he just took a shot at my passion... that'd be like me telling him he sucks at hockey. He knows he's not awesome, but he plays anyway because he enjoys it. He insulted me and he has no idea how much, I haven't been able to stop crying for more than 7 minutes in the past 45. I rarely cry.
I don't even want to go to prom. I hate people, why the fu** would a room full of dancing teenagers apeal to me? I'm a freaking sociophobe, the entire concept scares me to death!
He wants me to buy a dress so we can have a "normal prom" and be "normal teenagers for once". I was hurt. I'm not normal. I KNOW THAT. I'm a freak of nature and I'm more than a little crazy. and I hate that word, but right now I don;t give a crap. So why does he want normalcy all of a sudden? Besides, who would know? If I did a good job at my dress then no one would know, and suddenly I felt even more hurt. I love to make things, its my passion. And in my mind he just took a shot at my passion... that'd be like me telling him he sucks at hockey. He knows he's not awesome, but he plays anyway because he enjoys it. He insulted me and he has no idea how much, I haven't been able to stop crying for more than 7 minutes in the past 45. I rarely cry.
I don't even want to go to prom. I hate people, why the fu** would a room full of dancing teenagers apeal to me? I'm a freaking sociophobe, the entire concept scares me to death!