(no subject)
I feel like I'm the range... Like... I don't really know where I belong because I have a lot of different aspects of myself. This just now dawned on me, I really think that my mother raised a curious child, due to the fact that I feel like I can reflect on multiple moments of my past that are completely opposite to each other. Times of kindness, reflected by times of malice, potential success mirrored by utter failure. Business success, creative success. It's just so interesting because I feel like by in a sense having aspects of everything it makes me nothing, it's sort of like being a builder but not having a home. It's also kind of scary because I don't know how I'll impact what in what way. I feel like I could accidentally talk someone out of suicide just as simply as I could convince them that it's a good idea. And I don't really know where I stand on the issue regardless, sometimes one side more than the other but usually just floating around the middle, floating... seems like an experience that I have often. I floated into CAB and did great work and then floated away, I feel like I'll be doing a similar sort of thing with this work with my family, I feel like I'll float in and make lots of positive changes and work really hard and then eventually float away. One thing that I never want to float away from is Meredith, I hope we can just float along together. I do know that if I try to force things than I get real unhappy real fast. All I can do is try to steer a direction if I'm already kind of going that way... like driving on ice.
But for what it's worth life is really great and I'm really happy I just had a weird epiphany
But for what it's worth life is really great and I'm really happy I just had a weird epiphany