Long time no write.. ;)
So, WOW! I haven't written in this thing in FOREVER, LOL.. Last summer, not even this past one, that's sad. It's crazy how much things can change in a year and a half.. lmao, I was going out with Brandon the last time I wrote in this thing, that's too freakin funny. The summer before senior year was the last time I posted. Seriously, so crazy how much things can change.. Let's make a list, shall we? :)
·I'm 18 now, and a freshman in college
·I met the love of my life, Mike
·I got my license since the last post, LOL
·I lost my virginity, hahahaha!!
·My best friends are Jordan, Mike, Lauren, & Courtney
·I graduated, and had the best senior year I could EVER ask for
·My dad moved away to Arizona
·I've befriended enemies
·I've partied harder than most people probably do in their whole life
·I lost more friends that most people do in 10 years.. RIP my loves, <3
·My dad got married, and my step mom is pregnant
·My boyfriend joined the Marines, and left for bootcamp 7/23, graduated on 10/19, I'm so proud..
So yeah, love is an amazing thing. I never really thought I'd find someone that could absolutely complete me. I've always been the girl that does everything on her own, I always knew better than to trust & depend on a guy to make me happy.. After all I had been through with guys, (the asshole guys), I never ever thought I'd be able to be happy with a guy ever again. Until I met Mike.. Mike has seriously changed my life, and for the better. I never thought I'd be able to look myself in the mirror & think I was beautiful. I never thought I'd respect myself, or even be happy for myself. I never thought I'd meet someone that would treat me the way I should & deserve to be treated. Mike has opened my eyes to a whole new world, and I absolutely love it.. Everyone deserves to be happy, and to be loved. Even me..
Being in a Military relationship is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.. Well, no, I don't know. It's pretty hard, but I think it's completely worth it. People always say to me "Christen, how do you do it? How do you not cheat on Mike?" .. Well, the answer is simple. Because I know Mike is worth it, I know Mike will never do me wrong, I know time will not matter with us, we're always going to be okay. Love is worth the wait.. Believe me. I went through 3 months, yes months, without Mike while he was in bootcamp. Absolutely no talking on the phone, not even the internet. The only way I could talk to him was through writing letters.. Yes, letters, funny huh? I'd write him every day.. For every like 5 letters I'd write, I'd get one in return. Most of the times his letters wouldn't even correspond with what I was writing.. Yes, it took a while to get used to, but it wasn't that hard to do.. It's so easy to sit here and wait, because I know this is what he wants to so. He wants to be a US Marine, so I'm going to support him. I think it takes a lot of guts to do what we're doing, but we're doing fine... I finally got to see him on the 18th of October, and he graduated from Parris Island, SC bootcamp on October 19th.. I only got to spend 10 days with him, then he was gone again.. He left for MCT in North Carolina on October 29th. I haven't heard from him since October 31st, and that was just one text message.. Today is November 17th.. 18 days without hearing ONE word from the love of my life.. It's hard, but I was able to do it. I should be hearing from him tomorrow, and I honestly cannot even describe how happy & excited I am to hear from him. I cannot wait to hear how he did, it's hard not being able to talk to him.
After he graduates on Monday or Tuesday from MCT, I believe he's going STRAIGHT to 29 Palms, California for his MOS school.. He's doing communications. Computer Security Specialist to be exact. I'm so proud of him.. It sucks I probably won't get to see him til Christmas (if even that). If he doesn't get to come home for Christmas, I won't be seeing him til mid Feb when I fly out to California to see him. It'll definitely be worth the wait though, I absolutely cannot wait to see where he's been living the past few months... :). I'll be flying out there with Sam, which will be a blast, I can't wait for this little adventure, lol. It should be pretty interesting to say the least.
So yeah, Sam.... My "enemy" from the past, lol. I finally realized that Sam means a lot to Mike, so I've decided to give her chance. Sam scared the hell out of me before I met her, because her and Mike had a past. I don't think I EVER realized I was a jealous person before this whole experience. Sure I lack self-confidence, but man, I had no idea it would ever be to this extent. I think the only reason I took their whole situation to heart, is because Mike means so much to me. I would never, ever want to lose him. Ever. And the thought of it just absolutely freaked me out. So, after Mike left for MCT, we hung out a few times. I went to the fair with her, and I found out she really isn't THAT bad of a person.. Sure her & Mike had a past, but I can name a couple people I had a past with also, that I indeed still talk to, just like Mike & Sam. Sure, I may not talk to them as much as Sam & Mike talk, and it may not be phone calls like they are, but it's basically close enough to being the same thing. Mike's man enough to not hang my past friendships and relationships over my head, so why can't I do the same for him? Of course it's probably still going to bother me knowing they talk, but there's nothing I can do about it. With time, it's going to get better, I know it is. Sam & I went to lunch the other day, and I seriously told her what I thought about it all. She assured me about everything, just like Mike has MANY times, lol.. So now all I can do is sit back, and trust that nothing will happen. Deep down, I really really do not think anything will. I'm just an insecure person that needs to get over it. And that I will, because I do not want to lose Mike.. And he knows that.
This whole experience really has taught me so much. Never EVER take someone for granted, and never stop loving.. Love with all you have, everyday of your life. If you love someone, TELL THEM, tell them how much they mean to you.. Live everyday like it's your last day, honestly. Don't be stupid, but have fun. Live your dreams. When Mike gets back from MOS, I plan on loving him as much as I can. "Live each day as if you're going to be deployed". That's what I plan on doing with Mike... I'm sure one day he's going to be deployed, and I don't want to live while he's gone, as though I didn't love hard enough. Right now I even regret not hanging out with Mike as much as I could before he even left for boot. He wanted to hang out with me a lot before he left for boot, but I couldn't let myself do it. I couldn't let myself get too attached because I knew he was leaving. But guess what? I couldn't help it, I got attached. Never refrain yourself from loving someone to your full capacity because you're scared. I've learned that you CAN'T go living life being afraid. You need to venture out of your comfort zone in order to be happy, and love, and to be loved in return. Life is about taking chances, and following your heart. So seriously, if you get the chance, do it..
I'm so happy I found and met Mike, even though I'll never know how it happened. But I do believe we met each other for a reason, as silly as that MAY sound. He came into my life right before graduating, when I was having a tough time with my chemistry. Not only my chemistry, but I was having a pretty tough time with life in general. I was a lost 17 year old girl, just trying to figure out what the world was all about. I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm not lost anymore, but now I at least have a bit of guidance leading me in the right direction. When I say I was lost, I mean I didn't know what my purpose in life was. I was partying way too much, not caring about school, just not living life the right way. Of course I still party, but now it's in moderation. Mike has taught me to love, and to be loved in return. Something I definitely wasn't used to. I finally feel as though I'm comfortable with myself in my own skin. I don't feel as though I need to change myself to live up to OTHER peoples expectations. I've learned that if someone doesn't like me for me, fuck them. Not only that, but I also feel as though Mike met me for a reason too. I know he felt so lost after he came to BCC after getting out of UNF. Mike's a good guy, but I think he felt incomplete. I think he feels as though it's okay to love again. He found a good person, and I really hope he knows that. I know for a fact that he'd be able to go through this whole crazy Marine experience without a girl, but I hope I've helped.. I hope I've helped him a little, and made it at least a tiny bit easier and a little more bearable. All I want is the best for him, and I think he realizes that. He knows I'm going to be RIGHT HERE waiting for him when he gets back, no matter what. Nothing could change my mind about that. Of course, I'm sure we're going to have our small arguments, but I hope he knows he has absolutely nothing to worry about. And I feel the same about him. I know he would never do anything to hurt me..
I can't wait to see where this crazy journey leads me. It's kind of weird to finally feel happy with my own life. To finally feel like I'm worth something. That's what love should be all about. Making you feel good, and making you feel as though you're perfect, even if you're not. I know I'm never going to be perfect, but I love the way Mike makes me feel. He makes me look at life from a different perspective.. And it's awesome. Definitely can't wait to see how this turns out... The next few months are going to be a roller-coaster ride for sure, but I'm ready for it. Bring it on baby, 8).
·I'm 18 now, and a freshman in college
·I met the love of my life, Mike
·I got my license since the last post, LOL
·I lost my virginity, hahahaha!!
·My best friends are Jordan, Mike, Lauren, & Courtney
·I graduated, and had the best senior year I could EVER ask for
·My dad moved away to Arizona
·I've befriended enemies
·I've partied harder than most people probably do in their whole life
·I lost more friends that most people do in 10 years.. RIP my loves, <3
·My dad got married, and my step mom is pregnant
·My boyfriend joined the Marines, and left for bootcamp 7/23, graduated on 10/19, I'm so proud..
So yeah, love is an amazing thing. I never really thought I'd find someone that could absolutely complete me. I've always been the girl that does everything on her own, I always knew better than to trust & depend on a guy to make me happy.. After all I had been through with guys, (the asshole guys), I never ever thought I'd be able to be happy with a guy ever again. Until I met Mike.. Mike has seriously changed my life, and for the better. I never thought I'd be able to look myself in the mirror & think I was beautiful. I never thought I'd respect myself, or even be happy for myself. I never thought I'd meet someone that would treat me the way I should & deserve to be treated. Mike has opened my eyes to a whole new world, and I absolutely love it.. Everyone deserves to be happy, and to be loved. Even me..
Being in a Military relationship is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.. Well, no, I don't know. It's pretty hard, but I think it's completely worth it. People always say to me "Christen, how do you do it? How do you not cheat on Mike?" .. Well, the answer is simple. Because I know Mike is worth it, I know Mike will never do me wrong, I know time will not matter with us, we're always going to be okay. Love is worth the wait.. Believe me. I went through 3 months, yes months, without Mike while he was in bootcamp. Absolutely no talking on the phone, not even the internet. The only way I could talk to him was through writing letters.. Yes, letters, funny huh? I'd write him every day.. For every like 5 letters I'd write, I'd get one in return. Most of the times his letters wouldn't even correspond with what I was writing.. Yes, it took a while to get used to, but it wasn't that hard to do.. It's so easy to sit here and wait, because I know this is what he wants to so. He wants to be a US Marine, so I'm going to support him. I think it takes a lot of guts to do what we're doing, but we're doing fine... I finally got to see him on the 18th of October, and he graduated from Parris Island, SC bootcamp on October 19th.. I only got to spend 10 days with him, then he was gone again.. He left for MCT in North Carolina on October 29th. I haven't heard from him since October 31st, and that was just one text message.. Today is November 17th.. 18 days without hearing ONE word from the love of my life.. It's hard, but I was able to do it. I should be hearing from him tomorrow, and I honestly cannot even describe how happy & excited I am to hear from him. I cannot wait to hear how he did, it's hard not being able to talk to him.
After he graduates on Monday or Tuesday from MCT, I believe he's going STRAIGHT to 29 Palms, California for his MOS school.. He's doing communications. Computer Security Specialist to be exact. I'm so proud of him.. It sucks I probably won't get to see him til Christmas (if even that). If he doesn't get to come home for Christmas, I won't be seeing him til mid Feb when I fly out to California to see him. It'll definitely be worth the wait though, I absolutely cannot wait to see where he's been living the past few months... :). I'll be flying out there with Sam, which will be a blast, I can't wait for this little adventure, lol. It should be pretty interesting to say the least.
So yeah, Sam.... My "enemy" from the past, lol. I finally realized that Sam means a lot to Mike, so I've decided to give her chance. Sam scared the hell out of me before I met her, because her and Mike had a past. I don't think I EVER realized I was a jealous person before this whole experience. Sure I lack self-confidence, but man, I had no idea it would ever be to this extent. I think the only reason I took their whole situation to heart, is because Mike means so much to me. I would never, ever want to lose him. Ever. And the thought of it just absolutely freaked me out. So, after Mike left for MCT, we hung out a few times. I went to the fair with her, and I found out she really isn't THAT bad of a person.. Sure her & Mike had a past, but I can name a couple people I had a past with also, that I indeed still talk to, just like Mike & Sam. Sure, I may not talk to them as much as Sam & Mike talk, and it may not be phone calls like they are, but it's basically close enough to being the same thing. Mike's man enough to not hang my past friendships and relationships over my head, so why can't I do the same for him? Of course it's probably still going to bother me knowing they talk, but there's nothing I can do about it. With time, it's going to get better, I know it is. Sam & I went to lunch the other day, and I seriously told her what I thought about it all. She assured me about everything, just like Mike has MANY times, lol.. So now all I can do is sit back, and trust that nothing will happen. Deep down, I really really do not think anything will. I'm just an insecure person that needs to get over it. And that I will, because I do not want to lose Mike.. And he knows that.
This whole experience really has taught me so much. Never EVER take someone for granted, and never stop loving.. Love with all you have, everyday of your life. If you love someone, TELL THEM, tell them how much they mean to you.. Live everyday like it's your last day, honestly. Don't be stupid, but have fun. Live your dreams. When Mike gets back from MOS, I plan on loving him as much as I can. "Live each day as if you're going to be deployed". That's what I plan on doing with Mike... I'm sure one day he's going to be deployed, and I don't want to live while he's gone, as though I didn't love hard enough. Right now I even regret not hanging out with Mike as much as I could before he even left for boot. He wanted to hang out with me a lot before he left for boot, but I couldn't let myself do it. I couldn't let myself get too attached because I knew he was leaving. But guess what? I couldn't help it, I got attached. Never refrain yourself from loving someone to your full capacity because you're scared. I've learned that you CAN'T go living life being afraid. You need to venture out of your comfort zone in order to be happy, and love, and to be loved in return. Life is about taking chances, and following your heart. So seriously, if you get the chance, do it..
I'm so happy I found and met Mike, even though I'll never know how it happened. But I do believe we met each other for a reason, as silly as that MAY sound. He came into my life right before graduating, when I was having a tough time with my chemistry. Not only my chemistry, but I was having a pretty tough time with life in general. I was a lost 17 year old girl, just trying to figure out what the world was all about. I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm not lost anymore, but now I at least have a bit of guidance leading me in the right direction. When I say I was lost, I mean I didn't know what my purpose in life was. I was partying way too much, not caring about school, just not living life the right way. Of course I still party, but now it's in moderation. Mike has taught me to love, and to be loved in return. Something I definitely wasn't used to. I finally feel as though I'm comfortable with myself in my own skin. I don't feel as though I need to change myself to live up to OTHER peoples expectations. I've learned that if someone doesn't like me for me, fuck them. Not only that, but I also feel as though Mike met me for a reason too. I know he felt so lost after he came to BCC after getting out of UNF. Mike's a good guy, but I think he felt incomplete. I think he feels as though it's okay to love again. He found a good person, and I really hope he knows that. I know for a fact that he'd be able to go through this whole crazy Marine experience without a girl, but I hope I've helped.. I hope I've helped him a little, and made it at least a tiny bit easier and a little more bearable. All I want is the best for him, and I think he realizes that. He knows I'm going to be RIGHT HERE waiting for him when he gets back, no matter what. Nothing could change my mind about that. Of course, I'm sure we're going to have our small arguments, but I hope he knows he has absolutely nothing to worry about. And I feel the same about him. I know he would never do anything to hurt me..
I can't wait to see where this crazy journey leads me. It's kind of weird to finally feel happy with my own life. To finally feel like I'm worth something. That's what love should be all about. Making you feel good, and making you feel as though you're perfect, even if you're not. I know I'm never going to be perfect, but I love the way Mike makes me feel. He makes me look at life from a different perspective.. And it's awesome. Definitely can't wait to see how this turns out... The next few months are going to be a roller-coaster ride for sure, but I'm ready for it. Bring it on baby, 8).