God, it feels like an honest goodbye.
Tonight was for thinking.
My mother ripped me a new asshole for 45 minutes. I mean, I don't think she could have said anything more hurtful in those minutes if she thought about it for days on end. She probably has been.
And then, after all of that, she realized that it was heinous and began to baby me. She went from one extreme to the other. And I laid there in the back of the truck and counted the blurry street lamps all the way to St. Louis ignoring her every word. Mom and Terri got my mom's car and went to Olive Garden. I got Terri's huge orange truck that cost more than anything I've ever been responsible for and drove to Kyle's.
I got there crying. He just held me, but never spoke. I wanted him to say something, anything. He's in the same boat as me, but I'm more optimistic. Does that sound strange to you? Sara and optimistic in the same sentence? Yeah. That's really saying something. I want to understand him. He's a complete mystery to me.
I got in Terri's truck and discovered that listening to music with Bose speakers is unbelievable. I felt invincible...and the feeling got to me after awhile. I noticed I was going way over 80 and getting that i'm-better-than-you-because-my-vehicle-is-as-tall-as-a-fucking-school-bus attitude. Similar to what people who drive Hummers get.
I turned off at his exit. I shouldn't have done it, but I did. And by 'his' I mean someone who all bitter songs are written for. When fall arrived, he faded with my tan lines. I only really think about him when I'm passing highway 64. I drove down this winding country road near his house and scrolled down my IPOD looking for a song that would do everything justice. "Honest Goodbye" by Bad Religion came on and it couldn't have been more fitting. Fucking four or five deer flew across the road and I was like, "Is this a bad omen?" Hahaha. And then a fucking train came out of nowhere and scared the shit out of me. I turned off that road and went home. After trying many times, I finally now feel like I've brought closure to him, his corn cob pipe and his stupid ways. Halle-fucking-lujah.
I hope I get to see Kyle on Wednesday. Somehow, I doubt that will happen.
This computer smells like onions. Why does the computer smell like onions?
My God. MY GOD. Look at this:
Ahahah haaah aaahahahah ahh ahahaa. Okay, I'm finished.
OH, and go fucking see The Darjeeling Limited! And if you don't like good movies, at least go to see Natalie Portman nude.
My mother ripped me a new asshole for 45 minutes. I mean, I don't think she could have said anything more hurtful in those minutes if she thought about it for days on end. She probably has been.
And then, after all of that, she realized that it was heinous and began to baby me. She went from one extreme to the other. And I laid there in the back of the truck and counted the blurry street lamps all the way to St. Louis ignoring her every word. Mom and Terri got my mom's car and went to Olive Garden. I got Terri's huge orange truck that cost more than anything I've ever been responsible for and drove to Kyle's.
I got there crying. He just held me, but never spoke. I wanted him to say something, anything. He's in the same boat as me, but I'm more optimistic. Does that sound strange to you? Sara and optimistic in the same sentence? Yeah. That's really saying something. I want to understand him. He's a complete mystery to me.
I got in Terri's truck and discovered that listening to music with Bose speakers is unbelievable. I felt invincible...and the feeling got to me after awhile. I noticed I was going way over 80 and getting that i'm-better-than-you-because-my-vehicle-is-as-tall-as-a-fucking-school-bus attitude. Similar to what people who drive Hummers get.
I turned off at his exit. I shouldn't have done it, but I did. And by 'his' I mean someone who all bitter songs are written for. When fall arrived, he faded with my tan lines. I only really think about him when I'm passing highway 64. I drove down this winding country road near his house and scrolled down my IPOD looking for a song that would do everything justice. "Honest Goodbye" by Bad Religion came on and it couldn't have been more fitting. Fucking four or five deer flew across the road and I was like, "Is this a bad omen?" Hahaha. And then a fucking train came out of nowhere and scared the shit out of me. I turned off that road and went home. After trying many times, I finally now feel like I've brought closure to him, his corn cob pipe and his stupid ways. Halle-fucking-lujah.
I hope I get to see Kyle on Wednesday. Somehow, I doubt that will happen.
This computer smells like onions. Why does the computer smell like onions?
My God. MY GOD. Look at this:
Ahahah haaah aaahahahah ahh ahahaa. Okay, I'm finished.
OH, and go fucking see The Darjeeling Limited! And if you don't like good movies, at least go to see Natalie Portman nude.