we've made something of ourselves. something i'm proud to be part of and want to be remembered for
F: Schue, I'm doing the Glee Club a solid. We're denying the opportunity to other children to further humiliate them.
W: No, no. Those kids get up onstage all the time no matter what anyone thinks of them and they perform. They don't let anyone or anything get to them. That's something you should encourage. Sue is wrong!
F: Fine, I'll give them a photo.
W: Thank you!
F: For one thousand dollars.
W: What?
F: That's what it costs. The yearbook is prime advertising space, Schue. Fredrickson's Funeral Parlor experienced a 1.3% increase in revenue after their full page ad last year in the Thunderclap.
W: Um... what about a quarter page? How much does that cost?
F: Three hundred and twenty-five dollars. That will buy you enough space for a photo of two members of the Glee Club. Right below the advertisement under the Uncle Sandro's Chicken Inside of a Waffle.
W: Figgins that’s a lot of money.
F: It's a compromise, Schue. Now I suggest you select the good looking cheerleader - not the pregnant one - and the quarterback for the football team as their faces are less likely to be scratched out with safety pins.
R: Mr. Schuester, I'm very sorry to interrupt.
R: Principal Figgins, as you may very well know this is my first year in Glee Club and I've just been informed that New Directions has not been afforded a yearbook photo.
R: As you might expect my two gay dads have a very close relationship with our local branch of the ACLU and if it's up to me, I'm going to-
W: Beat you to the punch, Rachel. It's all good. We're in the yearbook.
R: Oh, fantastic. Thank you so much.
R: Make fun of me all you want but school pictures are everything to me.
R: They're great practice for getting photographed by the paparazzi. Invasive as the press may be, stars are dependent on them for their fame and I feel I must be prepared.
R: In order to do so I joined every club I possibly can. I know you're thinking I'm just joining all these clubs to give off the appearance that I'm involved, known to exist, but Glee Club is different. I really love Glee.
R: And I believe in what we stand for. We've come from behind, dismissed and ridiculed by everyone and we've made something of ourselves. Something that I'm proud to be part of. Something I want to be remembered for.
R: Kurt, I have a fantastic idea for a club that would officially make me the most involved student in the whole school. I want us to start a GayLesbAll.
K: I'm sorry?
R: The gay lesbian alliance. Gay. Lesb. All.
W: Hey, guys! Great news. Glee Club gets a photo in the Thunderclap! Yep. It's going to show everyone in this school that Glee Club is on its way up. When we win Regionals those claps are going to be collector's items. I mean all of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs.
W: But I had to compromise to do it. Um, we only get a quarter page in the back. Which means we have to pick two team captains to appear in the photo. So, tomorrow we're going to put it to a vote. Exciting, huh? Alright!
M: Well, we're all here. I guess we should vote.
R: With you permission I have prepared a few words.
M: I nominate Rachel.
K: Second.
P: Alright let's vote up in this piece. I got to go the gym and load up the guns of Puckorone for the football picture.
W: Looks like everybody voted for Rachel. Including Rachel.
W: But we need two captain, guys.
Q: Why two? We're fine with having Rachel representing us in the Thunderclap by herself.
K: We'd actually prefer it.
R: You wanted to see me, Mr. Schue?
W: Oh, yeah, Rach. Sit down. So, how's the new captaincy going?
R: I think that my unanimous selection gave me a very strong mandate to shake things up.
W: Great!
W: Well, I have a job for you, captain.
W: We need a co-captain.
W: You have so many great ideas, no reason you shouldn't have some help pushing them through.
R: I could use a trusty lieutenant. I do have over sixty-five proposals.
W: So, can I count on you?
R: No problem. I'm on it.
M: Um, I can't be co-captain. No time. Kwanza.
R: Kwanza's late December. Mercedes, the photo's this Thursday.
M: Yeah, prepping early this year.
A: I'd love to be in the photo, Rachel, but you'd be standing and I'd be standing and it would throw off the whole composition.
R: I'll lean over.
A: But if you lean over... it will look like you have stomach rolls.
R: On second thought I don't think you're leadership material, Artie.
A: Follower.
R: Brittany, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
B: No way.
R: Why not?
B: Because I don't want to be in that picture with you. It will get defaced.
R: No it won't!
B: Yes it will. I'll be the one doing it.
R: I'm desperate. Glee Club needs you, Finn.
F: I'm totally honored that you asked me but don't you think you should pick somebody whole like cares more? Not that I don't! But I just have football and friends and stuff.
R: Glee Club only started working after you joined. Face it. We wouldn't have all the cheerleaders and football players in the club if it wasn't for you.
F: You know I love Glee Club, I just don't know why I have to represent it.
R: Because you're a leader, Finn. And that's what leaders do. They stick their necks out for people that they care about.
R: There are stakes here. Morale is low. You know it. If things don't change, we're not even going to place at Sectionals and then the club is over. I can't do this alone.
F: You don't have to. I am a leader. It's who I am, who I want to be. You got yourself a co-captain. I'll do the picture with you.
R: I totally understand as captain of the football team, you've worked really hard to project an appearance of steely toughness but Glee Club is different.
R: We have to present the appearance of positivity and optimism. So... we're going to practice.
R: And I'm going to teach you how to smile correctly for your photo.
When you first left me I was wanting more / But you were kissing that girl next door, what'cha do that for? (what'cha do that for?)
When you first left me I didn't know what to say / I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day
I was so lost back then / But with a little help from my friends / I found a light in the tunnel at the end
And now you're calling me up on the phone / So you can have a little whine and a moan / And it's only because you're feeling alone
At first when I see you cry / yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while / but then I just smile
I go ahead and smile / lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalala
At first when I see you cry / yeah it makes me smile
yeah it makes me smile / At worst I feel bad for a while
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile
C: Can we shake a leg here?
R: Fine. I'm ready. I'll... do it myself.
R: Wa-wait! I insist on only be shot from my left side.
C: Yeah, I kind of need to see your teeth. It's sort of my job here.
R: Sorry, I'm just I-I'm upset.
R: My co-captain bailed. And I just... I'm sorry. I just need a minute.
R: Snap out of this. Stop being defined by what other people think of you. Or how they disappoint you.
R: It's lonely at the top. You know that. What's that song about overcoming professional and personal disappointments? Oh yeah.
R: When you're smiling / when you're smiling / the whole world smiles with you.
R: I'm ready.
C: Great.
R: W-w-w-wait. That's it? I practiced over eighteen different poses for this shoot and I haven't even shown you any of my over the left shoulder pose. See?
C: Sorry, kid. I got to blow. I got a casting session in half hour.
R: A casting session for what?
C: My brother-in-law is shooting a commercial for his store. I'm directing it. I just do these school photos for the money.
C: Uh... w-wha-okay wait. No. Don't. I can take a couple more pictures for you.
R: I can cry on demand. It's one of my many talents. I'm very versatile.
R: And aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business.
C: W-w-well, you... certainly seem talented and all but I-I-I need-there's other speaking parts in this thing. I need a bunch of other actors too.
R: I can help with that.
R: I'd like to call this meeting to order. Hello, Finn. How nice of you to show.
F: Look, I'm sorry. The guys were harassing me in the lockeroom about it. They said if I took the Glee Club photo that they'd made me choose between a Hitler mustache and buckteeth. And I can't rock either of those looks.
F: Do you think I have a potato head?
R: Okay, look. I realize now that all of think that Glee Club is just a joke. Okay and you're convinced we can't win and you're content to just sit idle by until Figgins cancels the club. Well, I'm about to present to you a rare opportunity.
R: The opportunity to become stars.
Q: How?
R: We've all been cast in a local commercial.
F: Are you serious?
R: Yes, Finn. And while all of you have been so concerned with you appearance in this school, I've landed Glee Club its first big break.
R: Simply put making us all celebrities. Okay? And no one messes with celebrities or defaces their pictures.
T: What's the commercial?
R: Hold onto your hats and get ready to sell... some mattresses!
A: Awesome!
T: I can't believe we're finally breaking into the biz!
R: You guys, I want us to always remember this moment. Soon there may be agents and managers and movie deals but right now I want us to remember what it feels like to be here together as a team.
M: Whatever. Soon as I get my record deal, I'm not speaking to any of you.
O: Okay, guys. We're really excited to have you here. We here at Mattress Land believe mattresses just aren't for sleeping and fornicating anymore.
O: We believe that buying an affordable mattress should be fun.
C: Alright, let's go over the script. It's pretty brilliant. Wrote it myself. Action!
F: Ah, me.
M: What's wrong?
P: We just lost our jobs... at the factory. And we can't get a goodnight sleep.
R: Chipper up! Come on down to Mattress Land! We've got near wholesale prices to fit your style and pocketbook!
R: I'm-I'm sorry, Mr. Cusperberg. This script is brilliant but we're a Glee Club. We should perform.
C: Perform the lines as I wrote them.
O: Wait a minute, Denis. What did you have in mind?
Ba ba ba ba ba bada ba badada
Ba ba ba ba ba bada ba badada
I get up, and nothing gets me down / You got it tough. I've seen the toughest around
And I know, baby, just how you feel
You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real
Oh can't you see me standing here / I've got my back against the record machine / I ain't the worst that you've seen / Oh can't you see what I mean?
Might as well jump. Jump! / Might as well jump / Go ahead, jump. Jump! / Go ahead, jump. Jump!
Might as well jump. Jump! / Might as well jump / Go ahead, jump. Jump! / Go ahead, jump
O Come on down to Mattress Land!
A: Come on down to Mattress Land!
R: Who says finding a mattress can't be fun? At Mattress Land, we have mattresses of all shapes and sizes at prices that won't break your pocketbook. No credit? No problem! Mattress Land has a no hassle financing of 12.9% with no money down and no payments until next year. You'll jump for joy at our prices!
A: Come on down to Mattress Land!
A: But we don't want to go to Sectionals without you.
W: It's without me or not at all. Look, I was the one that slept on the mattress which means I accepted them. Not you. Which means I'm disqualified from competition. Not you guys.
P: He's taking the bullet for us. Solid.
W: We've worked too hard for you guys not to get your shot.
F: We can't do this without you, Mr. Schue. Hell, we probably can't do it with you.
W: That's not true. You guys are good. You're really good. You did Jump for that commercial without me, right?
W: Look, the best teachers don't give you the answers. They just point the way and let you make your own choices. Your own mistakes. That way you get all the glory. And you deserve it.
W: Look if... if you can't win without me there then I haven't done my job.
R: We're really sorry, Mr. Schue.
W: I know. I want you guys to go get gussied up and take that Glee Club photo with pride. I want to see a smile on every one of your faces.
Smile though your heart is aching / Smile even though it's breaking / When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by / If you smile through your pain and sorrow / Smile and maybe tomorrow / You'll see the sun come shining through for you
You'll find that life is still worthwhile / If you'll just smile / Smile though your heart is aching / Smile even though it's breaking / When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by / That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile what's the use of crying / You'll find that life is still worthwhile / If you'll just smile / You'll find that life is still worthwhile / If you'll just smile / Smile
I ♥ Rachel Berry