Mixed emotions......: /
ermmmm it's been a frustrating 2 weeks but not as bad as it could of been. Heathers parents are freaking out like always about me staying at her house. Now my new name from her mom is "crackhead". Wow thats cool, and i found out that my dad who lives in nc told her the other day that i was a big crackhead and i do it all time. NEWS FLASH i use to be like that, but not no more. I do admit i have a drug problem sometimes, but when i do i expect my friends to be their for me, and help me get through cause its something you cannot do on your own believe me ive already been their. So heathers parents dont want me to get heather into it. I'm not getting her into anything that she can't say no to. I know everyone sais heather is so gullable and blah blah blah but her doing drugs and having the choice to say no is the same thing as if she was being peer pressued to anything. I'm tired of people blaming me for her actions. What hurts the most though is when my family meaning my friends look down on me when i have these habits, and they keep their distance n not call me or talk to me about it. I want someone to at least say somethihng to me about it instead of talking about it to eachother so you can be their and say "at least i told you, and i tried."
I dunno i guess im being an emo fuck right now, this is my only way at the time to get it out.
Another thing that has been bothering me is my relationship towards noe n naomi. I love them girls with all my heart, and i know i've fucked up in the past a couple of times but i would never want to do anything to make them not like me anymore. Its just everytime i hang out with them it hasn't been fun for me. Everytime i see them now im always asking are you mad at me or did i do something wrong. It never use to be like that. For example last night when me n heather were at the hospital with rhonda they came to pick us up. They both hardly even said 2 words to me, and they were all talking to jaime and goofing off. I remember when i use to see them naomi would always run to me and be like " Hey Benjamin". She would have the biggest smile on her face and that meant something to me. Now she never smiles anymore, and were not close like we use to be. I call them almost everyday and if not every other day, and im always like "what are you guys doing today, do you want to hang out"? Then we never hang out but still they manage to get jaime everyday. I just wish they would be honest with me cause if they ever wanted to know anything thats going on with me i would let them know straight up.
hmmmm this conversation is depressing like woah.
-deep breath-
Lets change the mood. Oh yeah its FRIDAY.........yay!!!!!!
Me n heather are going to the mall, its always a friday thing. Were meeting sara their proabably, i can't wait to see her its been like a week since we got to chill, and i miss her talking and acting like a black girl everytime she sees somebody she knows. She has me rollin everytime. Then later on I'm suppose to hang out with heather, katy, n james like around 10, and then go to the club with my love rhonda. I hope we get to go cause i've been so excited to go out with her cause i know me and her are going to break it down like woah. -shakes booty- Me n heather took care of her last night when she was at the hospital. I had to put her shoes on and carry her stuff while heather kept her standing up. I love her she's my bf, at least thats what i tell everyone. It's cute....teehee
Then sat jen n beth are picking me up, and im staying the night over at beths. I love them bitches. Were going to probably get Crunk. I feel special when people like that are way older want to hang out with me cause they make me not feel like im young. They treat me as if im their age. <3Jen<3 <3Beth<3
Damn this entry is long like boosh but i can't go to sleep cause heathers parents dont know im here right now. So shhhhhhhhhhh....
But i guess i'll go for now.
later
homies!!!!!
<3
I dunno i guess im being an emo fuck right now, this is my only way at the time to get it out.
Another thing that has been bothering me is my relationship towards noe n naomi. I love them girls with all my heart, and i know i've fucked up in the past a couple of times but i would never want to do anything to make them not like me anymore. Its just everytime i hang out with them it hasn't been fun for me. Everytime i see them now im always asking are you mad at me or did i do something wrong. It never use to be like that. For example last night when me n heather were at the hospital with rhonda they came to pick us up. They both hardly even said 2 words to me, and they were all talking to jaime and goofing off. I remember when i use to see them naomi would always run to me and be like " Hey Benjamin". She would have the biggest smile on her face and that meant something to me. Now she never smiles anymore, and were not close like we use to be. I call them almost everyday and if not every other day, and im always like "what are you guys doing today, do you want to hang out"? Then we never hang out but still they manage to get jaime everyday. I just wish they would be honest with me cause if they ever wanted to know anything thats going on with me i would let them know straight up.
hmmmm this conversation is depressing like woah.
-deep breath-
Lets change the mood. Oh yeah its FRIDAY.........yay!!!!!!
Me n heather are going to the mall, its always a friday thing. Were meeting sara their proabably, i can't wait to see her its been like a week since we got to chill, and i miss her talking and acting like a black girl everytime she sees somebody she knows. She has me rollin everytime. Then later on I'm suppose to hang out with heather, katy, n james like around 10, and then go to the club with my love rhonda. I hope we get to go cause i've been so excited to go out with her cause i know me and her are going to break it down like woah. -shakes booty- Me n heather took care of her last night when she was at the hospital. I had to put her shoes on and carry her stuff while heather kept her standing up. I love her she's my bf, at least thats what i tell everyone. It's cute....teehee
Then sat jen n beth are picking me up, and im staying the night over at beths. I love them bitches. Were going to probably get Crunk. I feel special when people like that are way older want to hang out with me cause they make me not feel like im young. They treat me as if im their age. <3Jen<3 <3Beth<3
Damn this entry is long like boosh but i can't go to sleep cause heathers parents dont know im here right now. So shhhhhhhhhhh....
But i guess i'll go for now.
later
homies!!!!!
<3