My perception of time has been thrown completely out of whack. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm at the end of yet another semester. It feels strange, perhaps especially since I only followed one class this spring. I sit here with a feeling that I should have done so much more. I should be out there actively exposing myself to try and figure out
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Sperm donors are screened for a reason: the sperm bank can get in messy legal situations if they sell sperm from a man with a dangerous, hereditary disease. You don't always do this when you've got everything working, be it biological lack of a gender or the fact that you just don't have a man. But does she present some hard evidence of a man getting rejected for sperm donations just because he has wonky ears?
I think that the issue of missing a parent when born in a gay couple can be a difficult question to tackle sometimes. Some people need to meet their biological father (or surrogate mother) for some reason, to gain some understanding of something. Some do not. It's such a mess to me, I think about it a lot: if I have a child with my girlfriend, will that child need to know who the father is? And if we get an acquaintance as a donor, how much of a part will they play in the child's life? And then, the chilling truth: you won't know anything for certain until the situation arises. We are so quick to say that children will always feel a certain way and therefore we are obligated to do this and this, but we forget that even children are individuals, and that as individuals, we are VERY DIFFERENT. We won't always behave according to a set model.
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But does she present some hard evidence of a man getting rejected for sperm donations just because he has wonky ears?
I somehow strongly doubt it.
Yes of course, but we have those problems with adopted and artificially inseminated kids today too. It's something each family has to figure out how to tackle, and I don't see how this would be all that different in same-sex couple families. It's still difficult and touchy, but I disagree with Monsen's statement about how every child has a basic human right to a father. It excludes a lot of people, not just the children of lesbian couples. I personally believe that the families who choose to have kids this way (adopting or via sperm donor) should always be very open about it, so that the child is aware of what's going on. Then the kid will (hopefully?) have enough to build on to make a decision later on on whether she wants to meet her biological father/parents or not.
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Amen to that.
I think openness regarding sperm donor or adopting is important, a positive kind of openness, of course, needless to say. Children are quick to catch on, really. I remember when a friend and I were adventuring about in her home and found a paper that said that she was adopted. She was really shocked and fell out with her parents for quite a while, I believe. She was pretty old too, and I just felt... So bad for her. In such situations, I do think that it is good to have the truth instead of it being dropped as a bomb when you're already going through your own teenage hormonal hell.
And every child having a basic human right to a father, bah. Things don't work out that way. Fathers (and mothers) can become absent for a great many deals: they don't have any parental interest, they leave, they don't get along with the other parent, they can't provide for the child, they die. We don't have a right to have parents, so to speak. Besides, who am I going to sue/blame for my father dying in a freak accident? Because if we follow her logic, I have that right. Bleh. What a woman.
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