Without You
Title: Without You
Author: maeve_issyra
Fandom(s): Fifty Shades of Grey / Twilight
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,304
Inspiration: Fifty Shades of Grey, Chapter 13
Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, Character Death, Rape and Violence. Swearing, Alternate Universe
Summary: Ana finally makes a decision.
Without You
Kate comes to the police office with me. She does most of the talking, thankfully, but when it’s just the two of us in an interview room with Officer Swan, I know it’s my turn.
‘You can do this, Ana,’ Kate reassures me, ‘You made the right decision.’
‘I know.’ My voice cracks as I speak.
We sit down on one side of the table with Officer Swan across from us.
‘Miss Steele,’ he begins.
‘Ana. Please.’ He calls me Miss Steele. But not anymore.
The officer nods. ‘Ana. How about you call me Charlie, then?’
‘Is that... allowed?’ For a moment, I wonder whether I would have hesitated like this if he hadn’t forbidden me to so much as look at him. But then again, without him I wouldn’t have been here at all.
He smiles. ‘This conversation isn’t being recorded. I’m not writing anything down. No one’s listening. So no one will ever know what you call me.’
All things considered, I don’t want to call him ‘Sir’, anyway.
(You’re not in his bedroom now)
‘Ana,’ says Charlie, ‘I want you to take your time to tell me what happened.’
Kate takes my hand and squeezes it. She plays with the silver bracelet on my wrist and my eyes catch the identical bracelet on her own wrist. We bought them together years ago.
‘Kate was supposed to interview him, but she got ill... I agreed to go instead. I wasn’t prepared, didn’t know anything about him. I didn’t have any time for research, I just drove to Seattle and did the interview.’
‘I should have gone,’ Kate interrupts, ‘It’s my fault.’
‘Kate. No,’ I whisper, ‘It was never your fault.’ I turn back towards Charlie to continue. ‘He’s gorgeous, but he intimidated the hell out of me. He’s charismatic, but really scary, too.’
(You should never have seen him again after that day)
‘And suddenly he turned up at the store where I work. We did a photo shoot for the interview later and we had coffee together. I was intrigued, because, well - it’s not every day that a rich and handsome guy takes an interest in boring old Ana Steele...’
There’s a flash of something I can’t place in Charlie’s eyes.
‘Go on,’ he says after a long moment.
‘He sent me books. Really expensive ones, for no reason. I went out with my friends and...’ The easiest part of the story is over. This is where it gets confusing and overwhelming and...
(Everything you should never have had to deal with)
‘I got a little drunk. I had just finished my exams, we were celebrating. I drunk-dialed him, and he freaked. Tracked my cell phone, for heaven’s sake. He came to get me, took me to his hotel room. He took my clothes off... The next day he scolded me for getting drunk, threatened me. And then he took me on a date.
‘We’d kissed before, but now he took me to his apartment, to a... torture chamber of sorts. He was talking about BDSM, which I’d never even heard of, because I’ve been too fucking sheltered all my life. He said I’d have to sign a contract to be in a relationship with him. Two contracts, actually. A non-disclosure agreement. Obviously, I’m breaking that one.’
I manage a weak smile as I say that.
‘And a slave contract, though he never called it that, of course. Three months of obedience in all matters sexual or otherwise. No way out without him agreeing to it. Thank god I never signed. He told me all of that, and then we had sex. He was my first - what a waste. He was pretty rough, but he managed to convince me that I loved it, that I was a natural submissive...’
‘Fucking bastard,’ Kate interjects.
‘Yeah,’ I whisper, ‘Wish I’d seen it before. We kept meeting up, we kept having sex, and he pressed me to do research on BDSM. I did, and I decided I wanted nothing to do with it, so I sent him an e-mail - from a laptop he bought me - telling him no.’
I hear Kate suck in a sharp breath. She knows what’s next.
‘That evening, he broke into our flat and...’ I choke. I can’t say it, I can’t, I don’t want to.
(But you have to)
‘He raped me.’
‘I’m really sorry,’ Charlie says. I can tell that he means it.
‘And even after that, he had the audacity to try and discuss the terms of the slave contract with me... He said I could trust him not to break my limits... And I just walked away. It was the best decision I ever made.’
Kate nods. She hasn’t let go of my hand once during the story.
‘You’ve been so brave, Ana,’ she says. ‘Can we file a complaint, Officer?’
‘You certainly can, if you both make statements.’ They look at me.
‘I don’t know,’ I say, ‘What if he comes after me again?’
‘Ana,’ Charlie says, ‘I have a daughter. Bella.’
I look at him expectantly.
‘When Bella was seventeen, she met a guy. Handsome, charismatic, slightly scary. He was exactly what you described. Edward was her first boyfriend, but there was a lot about him that wasn’t right. He followed her around, never left her alone, crept into our house late at night to watch her sleep...’
I can hear the disgust in his voice.
‘Edward wouldn’t allow Bella to meet up with her best friend, Jacob. He was jealous. Jacob was a good kid, you know. Bella should’ve... There was a lot Edward wouldn’t let her do. He made her eat when she wasn’t hungry, insisted on buying her expensive gifts. And more than once, Bella got seriously hurt while Edward was with her. It was never his fault, of course... I had the clumsiest daughter in the world...’
He’s looking me straight in the eye now.
‘Edward and Bella got married fresh out of high school. Just as I suspected, she was pregnant.’
He doesn’t continue. After a minute, I ask: ‘Officer - Charlie? What happened to Bella?’
‘Bella died,’ he says coldly, ‘The baby never even had a chance. My granddaughter came too soon. And instead of driving her to a hospital like any sensible husband would do, Edward tried to... It wasn’t because his father was a doctor that he had any right to slice my daughter’s belly open in his own house! How the hell was she supposed to survive that? Or the baby? Edward killed her.
‘I gave up my job as Chief of Police. I came here. I don’t care that I lost my rank. I just wanted to get away. I buried my own daughter because of her so-called perfect man.
‘Don’t let that happen to you, Ana.’
‘I won’t,’ I say, and I mean it. I’ve had enough. Kate wraps her arms around me, and I cry.
*
Charlie reassures me that he won’t know anything about my statement until he’s been arrested.
‘But I have to warn you, Ana. I’ll do everything I can, but being who he is, he’ll use his lawyers to try and walk. Anything you can give us, anything even slightly illegal, will help.’
‘There were others,’ I say. ‘There were fifteen women before me.’
‘Fifteen?’
‘I don’t know their names,’ I admit.
‘That’s OK,’ Charlie says grimly, ‘I’ll find them. Someone’s always seen something...’
*
He doesn’t walk.
*
And when it’s all over, Kate takes me out to celebrate and she calls it a date. She wears a tight blue dress and her golden hair is loose and so, so beautiful.
That evening, I realize life’s full of surprises. And that happiness isn’t always where you expect it to be.
(It was always there for you)