[022] The Secrets We Keep
Title: The Secrets We Keep
Characters/Groups: all of Kanjani 8 (and their businesses)
Genre: slightly cracky? Is "ridiculous" a genre? XD;
Rating/Warnings: PG; excessive boy parts and swearing
Word Count: 1860
Author's Notes: Written for beltenebra for je_justfriends. Originally posted here. This was a lot of fun to write! I admit I'm not terribly familiar with K8, but I had a lot of help from my lovely beta, miquilis, in coming up with the plot and editing.
•••••
The staff learned somewhere around the second week after Eito became a group that one should never ever enter the Kanjani shower room unannounced. And even if they took their chances and did, there was a high likelihood of seeing something they didn't want to (or perhaps didn't expect). Shrieks of terror came to be commonplace post-concerts (and basically any episode of Kanpani).
Sometime in January, following one of the less successful, though no less entertaining episodes of Kanpani, the seven Eito rangers shuffled into their dressing room loudly, dropping clothing here and there, flour falling like snow and being worked into the ugly station’s stock carpeting under heavy footfalls. Yasu and Maru had bounded into the room first, energy never-ending and infectious, despite being mercilessly punished by the staff. Again. Subaru was third to enter the room, having gotten more flour in his mouth and eyes (and secret places not to be discussed on-air) than any man should. Ryo and Ohkura followed the closely behind, Ohkura leaning heavily on Ryo’s shoulder and making whiny little sounds at the back of his throat. It always amused and surprised Subaru how easily Ryo allowed Ohkura to cling to him. They had a connection no one else could understand (or try to, for that matter - Subaru gave up on that back in Osaka).
Hina and Yoko filed in last, both of them with furrowed brows and concerned murmuring.
“Seriously, I think it might be cancerous or something,” Yoko was saying, gesturing vaguely to his backside. Subaru turned a bit to listen to the conversation. "I mean, my ass could fall off! What if my ass fell off? How would I sit? I wouldn't be able to sit! I'd have to stand all the time and then my legs would hurt and you guys, I can't stand all the time. Could I get a sling maybe? I don't know if I could do like a sling thing that made it so I could walk-slash-sit at the same time. Oh, but I couldn't sit because my ass would be gone."
“Then see a doctor about it. Asking me certainly won’t help you,” Hina replied, ever a calming force. He clapped one heavy hand on Yoko’s shoulder and nodded once before moving away to collect his things for a shower. Hina always wanted to get in and out, never one to linger in the bathroom. He’d never directly said so, but Subaru suspected it had something to do with the time Yasu pounced on his back and demanded to see Hina’s rumored giant cock. He'd insisted at the time that he only wanted to see it because it was the first time they'd been naked together and it was very manly to show off one's private parts to their friends. Hina had just hidden his goodies and ran off, pushing Yasu off his back and looking like he was going to cry. Yasu actually did cry.
Since that day Hina had been terribly protective of his supposed endowment.
“What’s wrong Yuu-chan?” Yasu trilled, face a mask of concern.
“Will you look at the mole on my butt?” Yoko replied.
Yasu beamed. Subaru had seen that face before - Yasu liked feeling important and needed. He’d do just about anything for his bandmates, men closer than brothers some days. “Of course! Sho-chan would do anything for his Yokocho!”
“Weirdos,” Ryo muttered, Ohkura’s shoulders shaking with laughter against his back.
Subaru collected his bathroom things and followed the others into the large locker room-style shower area attached to the greenroom. They were all covered head-to-toe in flour, having failed rather spectacularly that day. Almost an hour of footage had been filmed, culminating in the climax - all seven members doused with white powder that would only come off by the grace of some deity and vigorous scrubbing. Being more picky about his shower time than even Hina, who was sluicing off the last of bubbles in the corner, Subaru was usually the last to get in, choosing instead to sit on the long bench along the wall, waiting patiently for everyone to be done. They’d long ago gotten used to his odd habit of watching them all shower - less for any perverted reason (though he could tell the members apart by their butts after the first few times) and more because he just liked being with them. He was loathe to say it often, but Subaru really did love this special, crazy group of idiots.
By the time Subaru got settled, the others had already started their shower routine. It always seemed to follow the same pattern. Hina was just finishing his last few bits of scrubbing, letting the water waterfall off his head as he leaned forward. Yasu, naked as the day he was born (or so Subaru assumed - Sho-chan could’ve been hatched from an egg or found under a cabbage leaf for all Subaru knew) flitted from showerhead to showerhead, offering his services as back scrubber and official ass-mole checker to each member.
“What do you think, Sho-chan?” Yoko asked again, pointing at the small, almost indistinguishable bump on his ass.
Yasu got uncomfortably close in Subaru’s opinion and ran one finger over the bump. “It looks okay to me,” he said, smiling like the sun.
“You know you’ve always had that bump, right?” Subaru commented from the bench, legs crossed seiza-style and still fully clothed (the only one, at that). The flour caught in his windpipe and he coughed a few times, laughing at the look of horror on Yoko’s face. Yoko would be at the doctor within the hour, he was sure of it.
“Later ‘gents,” Hina murmured, shuffling out of the room quickly, towel secured around his waist.
“I missed it again, didn’t I?” Maru wailed, dramatically dropping to the floor and mock-weeping into his own towel. “When will I see the cock?”
Yasu hurried over to Maru and patted him lightly on the shoulder. “It’s okay, Maru-chan. You can see my cock!”
Looking up at Yasu’s beaming face, Maru smiled back a bit evilly and twisting his towel slowly. Subaru knew that couldn’t bode well for anyone.
“I don’t want to see your cock, Sho-chan. Everyone’s already seen it.” Snapping his wrist, Maru flung one end of his towel toward the fleshy part of Yasu’s thigh, catching it with a sharp crack and a squeal from Yasu. Maru cackled. Yasu whined. Subaru didn’t even try to hide his smile.
In the corner opposite where Hina had been standing, next to Yoko’s spot (where he was still glancing back at his ass like it would burst into flames), Ohkura shoved lightly at Ryo’s arm, whining in that voice that everyone knew Ryo would give in to eventually.
“Pleeeeeease, Ryo-chan? Please? My arms hurt,” he pouted. “I’ve been drumming a lot lately, you know. For our music. For that band we’re in. Pleeeeeeeease?” Ohkura drawled again.
Ryo pushed back and shook the water from his eyes, flinging water everywhere. Subaru watched the droplets sink into his pants, dark circles forming in the floury residue.
“Tatsu, you can wash your own hair,” Ryo sighed. This was not a new argument. Ohkura had a bad habit of not only whining and complaining and generally being lazy, but he never brought his own shampoo, often making Yasu (who did it gladly) or Ryo (who grumbled the whole time) wash his hair for him. With their shampoo.
“But Ryoooooooooo,” Ohkura whined, leaning into Ryo’s back heavily, threat of dead-weight!Ohkura on the horizon.
“Will you stop whining?”
“Probably not.”
Ryo sighed again and dragged Ohkura in front of him, reaching up high to lather up Ohkura's hair and working his fingers quickly. “There, you brat. Happy?”
"You sure you can reach his hair there, shorty?" Yoko interjected, his face full of snarky glee.
"How's that cancerous ass mole doing?" Ryo shot back. Yoko paled and checked his butt again, smoothing one hand across the spot and looking worried again.
Ohkura twitched and leaned forward into the spray. “You got it in my eyes.”
“I hate you," Ryo retorted.
Ryo squeaked loudly, yanking on Ohkura’s hair perhaps a bit too hard. “MARUYAMA. DEATH. SLOW AND PAINFUL.”
Maru scooted away quickly, retwisting his towel and grinning, an evil glint in his eye.
“Don’t come near me with that,” Yoko grumbled, pulling his own towel tightly around his midsection with one last glance at the suspicious ass-spot and hurrying out of the washroom.
Subaru watched Yoko go, chuckling lightly, and found himself with a lapful of wet, naked, wiggly Yasu.
“Baru, no one will let me wash their backs,” he pouted cutely.
Subaru patted Yasu’s wet hair and grinned. “Next time,” he started. “You can wash my back, promise.”
“Promise promise?” Yasu asked, eyes wide and glistening with happy tears.
“Promise promise,” Subaru replied. He reached down and linked their pinkies together, making the promise real.
“Yay! Baru loves me-YAAAAAH!” A sharp *crack* resounded through the room, sending Yasu to the floor writhing in pain. “Maru-chan!” he wailed, happy tears quickly dissolving to upset ones and pouring down his cheeks.
“Oh, don’t cry, Sho-chan!” Maru exclaimed, dropping his sopping towel and helping Yasu up off the floor. “I’m sorry.”
Yasu sniffled a few times and let Maru lead him out of the shower room with the promise of ice cream and maybe some curry if he stopped crying. Subaru just shook his head and started collecting his things, ready to take his turn.
“It’s all yours, boss,” Ryo said, pushing a still-whining Ohkura out the door and leaving Subaru in secluded silence. Finally.
Subaru took his time getting undressed, folding his dirty clothes carefully, even if they were just going to go to the laundry as soon as he was done with his shower. Stepping under the hot spray, Subaru reveled in the feel of it for a moment before getting to work, slowly rinsing the flour out of his hair and various crevices. He liked the time he had alone to wash slowly and ponder life and the group - how far they'd come. It had taken them so long to get here, but there they were, (almost) all of them living their dream. Subaru chose to let his thoughts wander away from the group and their past and their mistakes, settling on each member in turn - Ohkura and his need for affection, Ryo and his grumbling acceptance of it, Yoko and his paranoia, Yasu and his desire to please everyone, Maru and his sunshine and pranks, and Hina, who held his cards close to his chest. He loved them all in turn, for who they were and what they brought to the group, to his life.
Though Subaru was keeping a secret from them all, one he’d carefully guarded for years as he took the last shower, claiming to enjoy the solitude. In all actuality, Hina didn’t have the biggest cock in the group. Subaru glanced down and grinned.
Characters/Groups: all of Kanjani 8 (and their businesses)
Genre: slightly cracky? Is "ridiculous" a genre? XD;
Rating/Warnings: PG; excessive boy parts and swearing
Word Count: 1860
Author's Notes: Written for beltenebra for je_justfriends. Originally posted here. This was a lot of fun to write! I admit I'm not terribly familiar with K8, but I had a lot of help from my lovely beta, miquilis, in coming up with the plot and editing.
•••••
The staff learned somewhere around the second week after Eito became a group that one should never ever enter the Kanjani shower room unannounced. And even if they took their chances and did, there was a high likelihood of seeing something they didn't want to (or perhaps didn't expect). Shrieks of terror came to be commonplace post-concerts (and basically any episode of Kanpani).
Sometime in January, following one of the less successful, though no less entertaining episodes of Kanpani, the seven Eito rangers shuffled into their dressing room loudly, dropping clothing here and there, flour falling like snow and being worked into the ugly station’s stock carpeting under heavy footfalls. Yasu and Maru had bounded into the room first, energy never-ending and infectious, despite being mercilessly punished by the staff. Again. Subaru was third to enter the room, having gotten more flour in his mouth and eyes (and secret places not to be discussed on-air) than any man should. Ryo and Ohkura followed the closely behind, Ohkura leaning heavily on Ryo’s shoulder and making whiny little sounds at the back of his throat. It always amused and surprised Subaru how easily Ryo allowed Ohkura to cling to him. They had a connection no one else could understand (or try to, for that matter - Subaru gave up on that back in Osaka).
Hina and Yoko filed in last, both of them with furrowed brows and concerned murmuring.
“Seriously, I think it might be cancerous or something,” Yoko was saying, gesturing vaguely to his backside. Subaru turned a bit to listen to the conversation. "I mean, my ass could fall off! What if my ass fell off? How would I sit? I wouldn't be able to sit! I'd have to stand all the time and then my legs would hurt and you guys, I can't stand all the time. Could I get a sling maybe? I don't know if I could do like a sling thing that made it so I could walk-slash-sit at the same time. Oh, but I couldn't sit because my ass would be gone."
“Then see a doctor about it. Asking me certainly won’t help you,” Hina replied, ever a calming force. He clapped one heavy hand on Yoko’s shoulder and nodded once before moving away to collect his things for a shower. Hina always wanted to get in and out, never one to linger in the bathroom. He’d never directly said so, but Subaru suspected it had something to do with the time Yasu pounced on his back and demanded to see Hina’s rumored giant cock. He'd insisted at the time that he only wanted to see it because it was the first time they'd been naked together and it was very manly to show off one's private parts to their friends. Hina had just hidden his goodies and ran off, pushing Yasu off his back and looking like he was going to cry. Yasu actually did cry.
Since that day Hina had been terribly protective of his supposed endowment.
“What’s wrong Yuu-chan?” Yasu trilled, face a mask of concern.
“Will you look at the mole on my butt?” Yoko replied.
Yasu beamed. Subaru had seen that face before - Yasu liked feeling important and needed. He’d do just about anything for his bandmates, men closer than brothers some days. “Of course! Sho-chan would do anything for his Yokocho!”
“Weirdos,” Ryo muttered, Ohkura’s shoulders shaking with laughter against his back.
Subaru collected his bathroom things and followed the others into the large locker room-style shower area attached to the greenroom. They were all covered head-to-toe in flour, having failed rather spectacularly that day. Almost an hour of footage had been filmed, culminating in the climax - all seven members doused with white powder that would only come off by the grace of some deity and vigorous scrubbing. Being more picky about his shower time than even Hina, who was sluicing off the last of bubbles in the corner, Subaru was usually the last to get in, choosing instead to sit on the long bench along the wall, waiting patiently for everyone to be done. They’d long ago gotten used to his odd habit of watching them all shower - less for any perverted reason (though he could tell the members apart by their butts after the first few times) and more because he just liked being with them. He was loathe to say it often, but Subaru really did love this special, crazy group of idiots.
By the time Subaru got settled, the others had already started their shower routine. It always seemed to follow the same pattern. Hina was just finishing his last few bits of scrubbing, letting the water waterfall off his head as he leaned forward. Yasu, naked as the day he was born (or so Subaru assumed - Sho-chan could’ve been hatched from an egg or found under a cabbage leaf for all Subaru knew) flitted from showerhead to showerhead, offering his services as back scrubber and official ass-mole checker to each member.
“What do you think, Sho-chan?” Yoko asked again, pointing at the small, almost indistinguishable bump on his ass.
Yasu got uncomfortably close in Subaru’s opinion and ran one finger over the bump. “It looks okay to me,” he said, smiling like the sun.
“You know you’ve always had that bump, right?” Subaru commented from the bench, legs crossed seiza-style and still fully clothed (the only one, at that). The flour caught in his windpipe and he coughed a few times, laughing at the look of horror on Yoko’s face. Yoko would be at the doctor within the hour, he was sure of it.
“Later ‘gents,” Hina murmured, shuffling out of the room quickly, towel secured around his waist.
“I missed it again, didn’t I?” Maru wailed, dramatically dropping to the floor and mock-weeping into his own towel. “When will I see the cock?”
Yasu hurried over to Maru and patted him lightly on the shoulder. “It’s okay, Maru-chan. You can see my cock!”
Looking up at Yasu’s beaming face, Maru smiled back a bit evilly and twisting his towel slowly. Subaru knew that couldn’t bode well for anyone.
“I don’t want to see your cock, Sho-chan. Everyone’s already seen it.” Snapping his wrist, Maru flung one end of his towel toward the fleshy part of Yasu’s thigh, catching it with a sharp crack and a squeal from Yasu. Maru cackled. Yasu whined. Subaru didn’t even try to hide his smile.
In the corner opposite where Hina had been standing, next to Yoko’s spot (where he was still glancing back at his ass like it would burst into flames), Ohkura shoved lightly at Ryo’s arm, whining in that voice that everyone knew Ryo would give in to eventually.
“Pleeeeeease, Ryo-chan? Please? My arms hurt,” he pouted. “I’ve been drumming a lot lately, you know. For our music. For that band we’re in. Pleeeeeeeease?” Ohkura drawled again.
Ryo pushed back and shook the water from his eyes, flinging water everywhere. Subaru watched the droplets sink into his pants, dark circles forming in the floury residue.
“Tatsu, you can wash your own hair,” Ryo sighed. This was not a new argument. Ohkura had a bad habit of not only whining and complaining and generally being lazy, but he never brought his own shampoo, often making Yasu (who did it gladly) or Ryo (who grumbled the whole time) wash his hair for him. With their shampoo.
“But Ryoooooooooo,” Ohkura whined, leaning into Ryo’s back heavily, threat of dead-weight!Ohkura on the horizon.
“Will you stop whining?”
“Probably not.”
Ryo sighed again and dragged Ohkura in front of him, reaching up high to lather up Ohkura's hair and working his fingers quickly. “There, you brat. Happy?”
"You sure you can reach his hair there, shorty?" Yoko interjected, his face full of snarky glee.
"How's that cancerous ass mole doing?" Ryo shot back. Yoko paled and checked his butt again, smoothing one hand across the spot and looking worried again.
Ohkura twitched and leaned forward into the spray. “You got it in my eyes.”
“I hate you," Ryo retorted.
Ryo squeaked loudly, yanking on Ohkura’s hair perhaps a bit too hard. “MARUYAMA. DEATH. SLOW AND PAINFUL.”
Maru scooted away quickly, retwisting his towel and grinning, an evil glint in his eye.
“Don’t come near me with that,” Yoko grumbled, pulling his own towel tightly around his midsection with one last glance at the suspicious ass-spot and hurrying out of the washroom.
Subaru watched Yoko go, chuckling lightly, and found himself with a lapful of wet, naked, wiggly Yasu.
“Baru, no one will let me wash their backs,” he pouted cutely.
Subaru patted Yasu’s wet hair and grinned. “Next time,” he started. “You can wash my back, promise.”
“Promise promise?” Yasu asked, eyes wide and glistening with happy tears.
“Promise promise,” Subaru replied. He reached down and linked their pinkies together, making the promise real.
“Yay! Baru loves me-YAAAAAH!” A sharp *crack* resounded through the room, sending Yasu to the floor writhing in pain. “Maru-chan!” he wailed, happy tears quickly dissolving to upset ones and pouring down his cheeks.
“Oh, don’t cry, Sho-chan!” Maru exclaimed, dropping his sopping towel and helping Yasu up off the floor. “I’m sorry.”
Yasu sniffled a few times and let Maru lead him out of the shower room with the promise of ice cream and maybe some curry if he stopped crying. Subaru just shook his head and started collecting his things, ready to take his turn.
“It’s all yours, boss,” Ryo said, pushing a still-whining Ohkura out the door and leaving Subaru in secluded silence. Finally.
Subaru took his time getting undressed, folding his dirty clothes carefully, even if they were just going to go to the laundry as soon as he was done with his shower. Stepping under the hot spray, Subaru reveled in the feel of it for a moment before getting to work, slowly rinsing the flour out of his hair and various crevices. He liked the time he had alone to wash slowly and ponder life and the group - how far they'd come. It had taken them so long to get here, but there they were, (almost) all of them living their dream. Subaru chose to let his thoughts wander away from the group and their past and their mistakes, settling on each member in turn - Ohkura and his need for affection, Ryo and his grumbling acceptance of it, Yoko and his paranoia, Yasu and his desire to please everyone, Maru and his sunshine and pranks, and Hina, who held his cards close to his chest. He loved them all in turn, for who they were and what they brought to the group, to his life.
Though Subaru was keeping a secret from them all, one he’d carefully guarded for years as he took the last shower, claiming to enjoy the solitude. In all actuality, Hina didn’t have the biggest cock in the group. Subaru glanced down and grinned.