here you go
So... everyone has told me to update this thing. Well what do I really want to tell you... because everyone that I know reads this? I really don't tell anyone about anything. Maybe it is some kind of way of being mysterious but, I think it is just my way of hiding. You all think I am just some kind of really happy person but, that may not be the case. I have gone through so much shit and, it may not be close to what anyone of you think. The most important person in my life dose not even live with me any more. They think I can just get up and leave my wonderful life behind...Well it already has begun. I don't even go to Austin that much. I have gone to Austin 10 times in the past year. For someone who has always lived there hole live being able to go over to there house when ever they want, then all of a sudden moving to a place where it takes 3 1/2 hours just to get there... it is a big change. It has been so hard on me and I can't even explain why. Having that happen, then at the same time having the only grandfather I ever had die. Just makes thing harder. Yes, I have tried to kill myself but, at the time it just seemed I was not meant to be here on earth with any one at all. They tell me it will be ok but, it just is not ok any more. I have slumped to my lowest. Then I had to promise a certain person that I would never attempt suicide again. That is when my life changed from being a depressed societal kid, to a go with the flow; solve problems one step at a time kind of person. Now l see life as being a beautiful place to have fun and live it to every day. I being a kid was always an adventure. Growing up became hard. Finding what I was meant to be for the rest of my life... was easy. You all wanted to know what I am like. Now you know. I really don't know why I told you. I guess I trust you.