(no subject)
sorry.
i haven't updated in a while. mostly because i'm trying to spend as much time living as i can. ha.
18 days? fuck fuck double fuck. i really don't want this to stop. and as i've said to everyone, the more i think about it the worse the feeling gets.
since i've updated. . .
~ i've had a kick ass time with shanana. we went up all over putney mountain. it was good.
~ i went to hilltop's performance. gabe was there. how weird is this? i keep going to va functions with andrew and gabe's there. and andrew comes to a hilltop function and gabe's there. it's like ( as i said to sally ) we're all one big happy family. it makes me want to barf because i have no idea what each of them know. well, i'm not really concerned about what gabe knows. not a bit. i could care less. and it's really not that big of a deal for what andrew knows. it just makes me uncomfortable i guess. ( abbie, you must know what i'm talking about ) haha, like. . .like . . . . yeah. *breaths heavy* haha!
~ god i could be so gushy about all that's been said this last week. i mean, i should write about it all somewhere because it makes my stomach sink and my heart rise.
max leaves today, right? SO FREAKIN' SAD! that kid rocks my box! and i wish we all could have hung out more. we being andrew, kirsty, max, and i. we go together like smiles and sobe. :o)
so mr. big shot. wow. i'm just totally blown away by you, kiddo ( if you're reading this ). you rock, i'm so proud of you!
'Over the last couple of years, the photos of me when I was a kid, the ones that I never wanted old girlfriends to see . . . well, they've started to give me a little pang of something -- not unhappiness, exactly, but some kind of quiet, deep regret. There's one of me in a cowboy hat, pointing a gun at the camera, trying to look like a cowboy but failing, and I can hardly bring myself to look at it now. Laura thought it was sweet (she used that word! Sweet, the opposite of sour!) and pinned it up in the kitchen, but I've put it back in a drawer. I keep wanting to apologize to the little guy: "I'm sorry, I've let you down. I was the person who was supposed to look after you, but I blew it: I made wrong decisions at bad times, and I turned you into me." ' - high fidelity
i haven't updated in a while. mostly because i'm trying to spend as much time living as i can. ha.
18 days? fuck fuck double fuck. i really don't want this to stop. and as i've said to everyone, the more i think about it the worse the feeling gets.
since i've updated. . .
~ i've had a kick ass time with shanana. we went up all over putney mountain. it was good.
~ i went to hilltop's performance. gabe was there. how weird is this? i keep going to va functions with andrew and gabe's there. and andrew comes to a hilltop function and gabe's there. it's like ( as i said to sally ) we're all one big happy family. it makes me want to barf because i have no idea what each of them know. well, i'm not really concerned about what gabe knows. not a bit. i could care less. and it's really not that big of a deal for what andrew knows. it just makes me uncomfortable i guess. ( abbie, you must know what i'm talking about ) haha, like. . .like . . . . yeah. *breaths heavy* haha!
~ god i could be so gushy about all that's been said this last week. i mean, i should write about it all somewhere because it makes my stomach sink and my heart rise.
max leaves today, right? SO FREAKIN' SAD! that kid rocks my box! and i wish we all could have hung out more. we being andrew, kirsty, max, and i. we go together like smiles and sobe. :o)
so mr. big shot. wow. i'm just totally blown away by you, kiddo ( if you're reading this ). you rock, i'm so proud of you!
'Over the last couple of years, the photos of me when I was a kid, the ones that I never wanted old girlfriends to see . . . well, they've started to give me a little pang of something -- not unhappiness, exactly, but some kind of quiet, deep regret. There's one of me in a cowboy hat, pointing a gun at the camera, trying to look like a cowboy but failing, and I can hardly bring myself to look at it now. Laura thought it was sweet (she used that word! Sweet, the opposite of sour!) and pinned it up in the kitchen, but I've put it back in a drawer. I keep wanting to apologize to the little guy: "I'm sorry, I've let you down. I was the person who was supposed to look after you, but I blew it: I made wrong decisions at bad times, and I turned you into me." ' - high fidelity