More Twilight rambling
ETA: I've given up and in. I'm accepting the relationship as is. Maybe I don't understand it. But ah well. Who can understand Love?
okay Twilight fans. I... I need to bounce some things off of you guys because it's DRIVING ME INSANE.
Thesis: I still do not buy the Edward/Bella relationship.
I'm rereading Twilight hoping I'll figure this thing out but I keep PULLING MY HAIR. I'm serious. This makes me so frustrated. I'm one of those people that need to know WHY. I need a reason. A motive. If someone told me to jump off a bridge the first thing out of my mouth would be "Why?" because hey. Maybe they have a good reason for me to jump like invisible fire or because Godzilla's coming, IDK.
Okay. So the part that strikes me as the Start of this absurd love relationship(haha! j/k! less biasing starting now!...or not) is after Edward rescues Bella in Port Angeles and they're on their way home and talking and blah blah and he tells her, "It makes me...anxious...to be away from you......I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you." And that's when I think Why??. Because PRIOR to this they have a handful of encounters-where they actually interact with each other:
1.The initial meeting where he fights to keep from eating her and then he goes to Alaska and doesn't come to school for several days. During this time Bella is wondering why he's not at school, why he seems to be mad at her, etc.
2. Edward returns, they do the microscope lab for class, he "stings" her when they touch, he's amused by her wanting to one up him, they talk. He's starting to become interested in not being able to read her mind. Maybe he wants to talk to her...to figure out why he can't?
3. The next day Edward saves Bella, she figures out he's more than human, he refuses to tell her anything saying "I don't know." when she asks him why did he even bother saving her, and then she starts having dreams about him at night.
4.He then starts to ignore her. They don't talk. I don't know how long this goes on for and Bella becomes "miserable" (because she wants to know what Edward is? because she's >annoyingly infatuated in love with his FACE/VOICE and he won't speak to HER OMG?<---Bias! >:B). Then Mike asks her to the dance and Edward is interested when Bella turns Mike down, Edward was staring at [her] curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his black eyes. So...he's still wondering why she does the things she does? He's become attracted...there's a hint of jealousy(Edward confesses to this later on). uhhhh...absence makes the heart grow fonder? And then Bella plays the guilt card and tells Edward why didn't he just let her get smushed? and then he's annoyed and stops up traffic to let Tyler ask Bella to the dance. Then Bella sulks because she thinks that Edward doesn't want to be friends because she's not good enough.
5. Next day Edward offers to drive her to Seattle and at the same time tells her to stay away from him, WTF? He has her sit with him at lunch and she knocks around a few ideas about what he is. He skips class, she gets faint from the blood, he rescues her and takes her home, and tells her not to get into trouble. He goes "camping" and she meets Jacob and then that brings us to the Port Angeles outing.
SO. What I'm thinking is....she's caught his interest partly because she's the first human to even WANT to get to know him? He said most people avoid them as if by instinct. Bella has the crappiest instincts in the world so she's drawn to or draws disaster to herself? Perhaps he's intrigued by this human that doesn't care that he wants to eat her. Does he just really really really like the way her blood "sings" for him? He calls her his heroin. Why? Is the heroin her blood or herself? She just doesn't seem...amazing to me. Or is that because Bella doesn't think she's amazing and the book is from her point of view? Is she selling herself short?
But I think what bothers me the most is the dependency. The total disregard for self independence and just letting this guy absorb her entirely. She almost ceases to exist. She just becomes Edward's...love...sick slave puppy thing. And also the relationship just seems so one sided to me. Like she wants it more than he does.
I was thinking about why this really bothers me. The not understanding and...I don't know. I just need to believe it if I'm gonna...like it....? Or if I'm gonna like this...series/fandom...? D/G for me was believable, FOR ME, because it was...Elizabeth/Darcy. fanon!Ginny/Elizabeth is intelligent and strong and feisty and above all independent. She does not NEED Draco/Darcy to complete her. She wants and allows him to but never does she need it. It's an equal relationship. And this in turn attracts fanon!Draco/Darcy because here's the first girl that isn't gonna just roll over and let him have his way with her. She puts up a fight. And I LOVE THAT.
This is why I want to read Edward's side of Twilight. To find the rhyme and reason.
So please...any insight at all would be greatly appreciated. Don't get me wrong. I still love the books. Highly entertaining but if I can just get this little...big...thing out of the way I'll enjoy it so much more.
okay Twilight fans. I... I need to bounce some things off of you guys because it's DRIVING ME INSANE.
Thesis: I still do not buy the Edward/Bella relationship.
I'm rereading Twilight hoping I'll figure this thing out but I keep PULLING MY HAIR. I'm serious. This makes me so frustrated. I'm one of those people that need to know WHY. I need a reason. A motive. If someone told me to jump off a bridge the first thing out of my mouth would be "Why?" because hey. Maybe they have a good reason for me to jump like invisible fire or because Godzilla's coming, IDK.
Okay. So the part that strikes me as the Start of this absurd love relationship(haha! j/k! less biasing starting now!...or not) is after Edward rescues Bella in Port Angeles and they're on their way home and talking and blah blah and he tells her, "It makes me...anxious...to be away from you......I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you." And that's when I think Why??. Because PRIOR to this they have a handful of encounters-where they actually interact with each other:
1.The initial meeting where he fights to keep from eating her and then he goes to Alaska and doesn't come to school for several days. During this time Bella is wondering why he's not at school, why he seems to be mad at her, etc.
2. Edward returns, they do the microscope lab for class, he "stings" her when they touch, he's amused by her wanting to one up him, they talk. He's starting to become interested in not being able to read her mind. Maybe he wants to talk to her...to figure out why he can't?
3. The next day Edward saves Bella, she figures out he's more than human, he refuses to tell her anything saying "I don't know." when she asks him why did he even bother saving her, and then she starts having dreams about him at night.
4.He then starts to ignore her. They don't talk. I don't know how long this goes on for and Bella becomes "miserable" (because she wants to know what Edward is? because she's >annoyingly infatuated in love with his FACE/VOICE and he won't speak to HER OMG?<---Bias! >:B). Then Mike asks her to the dance and Edward is interested when Bella turns Mike down, Edward was staring at [her] curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his black eyes. So...he's still wondering why she does the things she does? He's become attracted...there's a hint of jealousy(Edward confesses to this later on). uhhhh...absence makes the heart grow fonder? And then Bella plays the guilt card and tells Edward why didn't he just let her get smushed? and then he's annoyed and stops up traffic to let Tyler ask Bella to the dance. Then Bella sulks because she thinks that Edward doesn't want to be friends because she's not good enough.
5. Next day Edward offers to drive her to Seattle and at the same time tells her to stay away from him, WTF? He has her sit with him at lunch and she knocks around a few ideas about what he is. He skips class, she gets faint from the blood, he rescues her and takes her home, and tells her not to get into trouble. He goes "camping" and she meets Jacob and then that brings us to the Port Angeles outing.
SO. What I'm thinking is....she's caught his interest partly because she's the first human to even WANT to get to know him? He said most people avoid them as if by instinct. Bella has the crappiest instincts in the world so she's drawn to or draws disaster to herself? Perhaps he's intrigued by this human that doesn't care that he wants to eat her. Does he just really really really like the way her blood "sings" for him? He calls her his heroin. Why? Is the heroin her blood or herself? She just doesn't seem...amazing to me. Or is that because Bella doesn't think she's amazing and the book is from her point of view? Is she selling herself short?
But I think what bothers me the most is the dependency. The total disregard for self independence and just letting this guy absorb her entirely. She almost ceases to exist. She just becomes Edward's...love...sick slave puppy thing. And also the relationship just seems so one sided to me. Like she wants it more than he does.
I was thinking about why this really bothers me. The not understanding and...I don't know. I just need to believe it if I'm gonna...like it....? Or if I'm gonna like this...series/fandom...? D/G for me was believable, FOR ME, because it was...Elizabeth/Darcy. fanon!Ginny/Elizabeth is intelligent and strong and feisty and above all independent. She does not NEED Draco/Darcy to complete her. She wants and allows him to but never does she need it. It's an equal relationship. And this in turn attracts fanon!Draco/Darcy because here's the first girl that isn't gonna just roll over and let him have his way with her. She puts up a fight. And I LOVE THAT.
This is why I want to read Edward's side of Twilight. To find the rhyme and reason.
So please...any insight at all would be greatly appreciated. Don't get me wrong. I still love the books. Highly entertaining but if I can just get this little...big...thing out of the way I'll enjoy it so much more.