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RAMBLINGS OF A BUS RIDE HOME - fyi this is the better part of a 3 and half hour ride home to ri.
Water is crazy amazing. It’s so peaceful looking and calming but at the same time it’s really powerful and dangerous.
While we’re at it, the structure and architecture of bridges is really cool too. They’re always really beautiful. I like going under them and looking up. It’s cool to see all the beams and pipes and whatnot.
Modulations in songs are, for the most part, incredibly cheesy. However, sometimes they’re just right and really moving and powerful, which is supposed to be the point. But I can never get over the cheesy and clique-ness of them.
While scrolling through the ‘just for you’ section on itunes, I ended up purchasing a lot of Cartel and am currently getting way into them. Well, at least the one album I just bought.
My aunt should be having her baby any day now. I really hope she goes into labor while I am home so that I can see the baby and so I won’t have to wait until the christening. And, I won’t front, I do have ulterior motives. I really want to be baby’s godmother. I was Caitlyn’s and I feel like it’s only fair that I am this baby’s godmama. I also really wanna know what it is, and what name they end up picking out. Everyone’s secretly hoping for a boy.
I wish I could write more lyrics. This whole being unemployed thing really kills my motivation, inspiration, and mood. I’m sick of it.
My eyes feel like I’ve been crying for hours on end. And I forgot contact solution to moisten my eyes. Fuck.
I had a dream last night that I was watching home movies of my mom when she was little. Which is weird because I’m nearly positive nothing of the sort exists. Just some pictures. There’s this sweet picture from when my mom was like 5 and at her dance recital. Legit pigtails and tutu. It’s sooo awesome.
I miss singing for a purpose. I miss chorus. I miss having money. I honestly believe that I all of my problems will be solved once I find a job. Even the singing thing. Right now I can’t afford a monthly subway pass so I can go to choral rehearsals. But once I get a job and a real life schedule that will change. I want to be in a band. Or just have something to sing. I actually really want to do some more music with Ernie, but I am too embarrassed and afraid to ask him to work with me. Ya know, I went to music school and fucking graduated and I’m still not confident in my ability to sing and sing well. I hate it.
I hate when the bus driver goes a weird fuck up way to Rhode Island. Why take the nasty scenic route through the Bronx? Why not just get on 95 and cruise? It’s frustrating.
I’m really scared my computer is on death’s door. But I think it’s fine. Hopefully it is.
Ya know, I’m in a relationship and I hate Valentine’s Day. I feel like the whole thing is stupid, yet when it comes down to it I really want to celebrate it. But I never really realize it until the day comes and I see everyone else doing it. How sheep-like of me. Plus it’s too close to Christmas. It should be in like May or something.
I heard a fucking sweet remix of ‘Umbrella’ in Virgin the other day. I have to find it and listen to it forever. That’s a song I just do not get sick of and it has some awesome harmonies.
Speaking of harmonies, I love how amazed Ernie is when we’re listening to music and I just make one up on the spot. He doesn’t understand how I can do it. I don’t really get how he can’t do that.
Nora surprised me the other day by just showing up in NYC. I was soooo happy I haven’t seen her in forever. She was only here for a day but we got all caught up and I should be seeing her this weekend too.
One of the things I love about coming home is being able to drive and sing. Even when I pull into my driveway at night I’ll listen to a few songs just so I can sing them.
Ernie has an interview tomorrow at this place called The Orchard. I think they’re a digital distribution company…or they used to be…I found out about them during my internship in Boston. Anyway, I have a really good feeling about it, but I don’t wan to say anything in the event of jinxing it. I hope I’m right about it.
I like .5 margins.
I hate the spring. It’s too awkward. The weather, that is. I hate wearing a coat because it’s too drastic and it makes me too warm. But then just wearing a hoodie is perfect, and my favorite, but it’s not quite warm enough. I guess I need an in-between jacket. But I really hate jackets anyway. They’re too big.
I like that you can more or less make anything a correct word by hyphenating it.
I think university of phoenix may have begun harassing me again. Yuck.
It’s sweet I left today because it gets me out of going to some shitty show that Liz’s friend is playing. I can’t afford it in the first place, but on top of that she’s generic and shitty so I don’t want to go. Hopefully Ernie will be able to get out of it too. I’m sure he’ll muster up some excuse. I also get a tiny vacation from Liz’s complaining and mourning over her relationship with Ian. GOD WOMAN. Ya know, I want to feel bad for her and help her. But it’s like, she feels so bad for herself and shows everyone shamelessly how bad she feels for herself that it’s like impossible for me to. It’s pathetic. She’s 24 and is bitching that she’ll be 25 without a boyfriend. Um, dude, it’s not like you’re 40 and your biological clock is ticking. FUCK OFF! I really hope that if Ernie and I ever broke up I wouldn’t be like this. And if I was, I at least hope I’d be able to hide my crazy a little better.
I was perusing the Tiffany’s website the other day (long story as to why, it wasn’t for funsies) and I actually found a really good look-alike to the engagement ring that Chandler gives to Monica in friends. I was excited. I like that ring kinda and it was cool to see it and be able to look at it for longer than a millisecond. Though, I don’t even know if I could even see myself wearing a fancy ring like that one day. I feel like I’ll never really grow up and mature in terms of my style and such. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.
I’ve finally gotten used to leaning on the horizontal bar behind me. It’s a bit comfy now, actually. However my leg now hurts, so I do have to shift positions.
Maybe I shouldn’t have bought that bag of combos and water before I got on the bus. I don’t’ think I’m in the mood for a snack. For the first time in my life I was able to open the combo bag without it tearing all the way down the side!
I will learn to play piano at least a little bit before I die. I need to. Just being a singer doesn’t constitute me as a musician. I’m also going to re-teach myself the clarinet. I’ve been saying that for a while. Right now I need to rebuild my breath control and duration.
What sucks most about stress headaches is that nothing alleviates them.
I know a lot of people hate overcast, but I kinda like it. I don’t mind gray.
Jimmy Eat World “The Authority Song”. I love it. One of my faves, ever. Maybe that’s why I am currently enjoying the gray outside.
Oh man, so why don’t I tell you about last weekend. It was NY Comic Con aka Travis’s wet dream. So Travis, this chick Ange and some other chick Vanessa came to NY to stay with us for this monumental nerd event. Ernie went too, but he is by no means as into it as these other freaks. Actually, Vanessa was nearly normal too, she was really sweet and quiet. She’s from California and works at Disneyland, which is cool. Oh and Travis just decided he’s in love with her, so good to him with that. But anyway, yeah they dressed up and brought tons of costumes, make-up and props with them you would think that they were in the fucking circus. Ridiculous. Surprisingly, Travis wasn’t too bad. Except for the fact that he kept calling me cousin, and trying to find ways for him to live with Ernie and I, he was tolerable. WE’RE 6TH COUSINS, GET OVER IT. It’s not like that really counts for anything. And you living with us? Puh-leeeeeease! Never going to happen. Ernie was good about politely and discreetly bursting his much inflated bubble with that idea. But the real challenge was dealing with this Ange chick. To put it simply, I fucking hate the bitch. She’s like 26ish, which is completely pathetic that she is still dressing up for nonsense like this. It’s one thing to go to these events, that’s fine. They’re kinda cool because you can meet artists and stuff. But to dress up and act as though this crap is real life? Dude, get your own fucking life. But whatever. She was so incredibly rude and a fucking know-it-all about everything imaginable. She met Shannon and within 30 seconds of meeting her, Ange was calling her out about how she drinks her whiskey and calling her a pussy. Like, what? Who does that? She fucking insulted a random bunch of stuff that I like/have, which is like retarded. Oh hey by the way you’re welcome for letting you crash here for a weekend when I have no fucking idea who you are. It’s cool for you to blatantly insult me. Whatev. Ugh, if any other of my friends met her they would automatically understand how irritating and rude she is. It’s kinda hard to articulate, but it’s just little things that build up and irk you, ya know? And then she left without thanking me for letting her stay there and annoy the shit out of me. Dumb bitch. I told Ernie she is never ever allowed to come to our house ever, ever again. And that he can tell Travis next year for Comic Con that he is allowed to stay, so is Vanessa, but Ange is out of the question and it’s because I fucking hate the bitch.
Halfway through Connecticut! W00t!
Does anyone else ever feel like you’re not sure if you know what you’re talking about?
Once I start making money and probably right after the cruise I think my first big purchase will be the tattoo I’ve been trying to get for the past 5 years. It’s honestly about fucking time I do it.
It’s really weird that I am 23 years old. 25 is right around the corner. And yet I am one of the youngest amongst my friends and the fact that they’re older than I am isn’t weird to me.
Harold and Maude is a really good movie. You should watch it.
I think the reason a lot of people say that high school was the best time of their life is because it was mostly all the fun of being a teenager and young adult with none of the responsibility. I’ve been missing high school lately because I miss not having to be responsible for bills and bullshit. I had fun in high school. It definitely wasn’t the highlight of my life to date, though.
Put on your Sunday best there’s lots of world out there! Wal-e is awesome. Excellent movie.
I often end up humming to my music on the bus because I can’t sing out loud. I wonder how often I do that, how loud it is, and how annoying it is to the people around me. No one has ever said anything to me, or even so much as look at me really, but I still wonder. I also whisper lyrics in an attempt to sing along. I wonder people reaction to that, too.
Groton, CT is apparently the submarine capitol of the world. That’s a pretty big claim, and I may even check that out via Wikipedia.
I hate loafers. This guy sitting next to me is wearing some beat up, brown loafers, tassels and all and they just disgust me. Aside from that, apparently they make girl loafers too which is appalling. They’re so old and ugly looking. I don’t know how else to describe my hatred for them.
“You said you’d never have regrets. Jesus, is there someone yet who got that wish? Did you get yours, babe?” I fucking love that line. It’s so fucking honest. Everyone says and hopes that they have no regrets, but everyone regrets something. No matter how small.
This person a few rows in front of me is playing bejeweled. What a jerk, I want to play a giant version of bejeweled.
Water is crazy amazing. It’s so peaceful looking and calming but at the same time it’s really powerful and dangerous.
While we’re at it, the structure and architecture of bridges is really cool too. They’re always really beautiful. I like going under them and looking up. It’s cool to see all the beams and pipes and whatnot.
Modulations in songs are, for the most part, incredibly cheesy. However, sometimes they’re just right and really moving and powerful, which is supposed to be the point. But I can never get over the cheesy and clique-ness of them.
While scrolling through the ‘just for you’ section on itunes, I ended up purchasing a lot of Cartel and am currently getting way into them. Well, at least the one album I just bought.
My aunt should be having her baby any day now. I really hope she goes into labor while I am home so that I can see the baby and so I won’t have to wait until the christening. And, I won’t front, I do have ulterior motives. I really want to be baby’s godmother. I was Caitlyn’s and I feel like it’s only fair that I am this baby’s godmama. I also really wanna know what it is, and what name they end up picking out. Everyone’s secretly hoping for a boy.
I wish I could write more lyrics. This whole being unemployed thing really kills my motivation, inspiration, and mood. I’m sick of it.
My eyes feel like I’ve been crying for hours on end. And I forgot contact solution to moisten my eyes. Fuck.
I had a dream last night that I was watching home movies of my mom when she was little. Which is weird because I’m nearly positive nothing of the sort exists. Just some pictures. There’s this sweet picture from when my mom was like 5 and at her dance recital. Legit pigtails and tutu. It’s sooo awesome.
I miss singing for a purpose. I miss chorus. I miss having money. I honestly believe that I all of my problems will be solved once I find a job. Even the singing thing. Right now I can’t afford a monthly subway pass so I can go to choral rehearsals. But once I get a job and a real life schedule that will change. I want to be in a band. Or just have something to sing. I actually really want to do some more music with Ernie, but I am too embarrassed and afraid to ask him to work with me. Ya know, I went to music school and fucking graduated and I’m still not confident in my ability to sing and sing well. I hate it.
I hate when the bus driver goes a weird fuck up way to Rhode Island. Why take the nasty scenic route through the Bronx? Why not just get on 95 and cruise? It’s frustrating.
I’m really scared my computer is on death’s door. But I think it’s fine. Hopefully it is.
Ya know, I’m in a relationship and I hate Valentine’s Day. I feel like the whole thing is stupid, yet when it comes down to it I really want to celebrate it. But I never really realize it until the day comes and I see everyone else doing it. How sheep-like of me. Plus it’s too close to Christmas. It should be in like May or something.
I heard a fucking sweet remix of ‘Umbrella’ in Virgin the other day. I have to find it and listen to it forever. That’s a song I just do not get sick of and it has some awesome harmonies.
Speaking of harmonies, I love how amazed Ernie is when we’re listening to music and I just make one up on the spot. He doesn’t understand how I can do it. I don’t really get how he can’t do that.
Nora surprised me the other day by just showing up in NYC. I was soooo happy I haven’t seen her in forever. She was only here for a day but we got all caught up and I should be seeing her this weekend too.
One of the things I love about coming home is being able to drive and sing. Even when I pull into my driveway at night I’ll listen to a few songs just so I can sing them.
Ernie has an interview tomorrow at this place called The Orchard. I think they’re a digital distribution company…or they used to be…I found out about them during my internship in Boston. Anyway, I have a really good feeling about it, but I don’t wan to say anything in the event of jinxing it. I hope I’m right about it.
I like .5 margins.
I hate the spring. It’s too awkward. The weather, that is. I hate wearing a coat because it’s too drastic and it makes me too warm. But then just wearing a hoodie is perfect, and my favorite, but it’s not quite warm enough. I guess I need an in-between jacket. But I really hate jackets anyway. They’re too big.
I like that you can more or less make anything a correct word by hyphenating it.
I think university of phoenix may have begun harassing me again. Yuck.
It’s sweet I left today because it gets me out of going to some shitty show that Liz’s friend is playing. I can’t afford it in the first place, but on top of that she’s generic and shitty so I don’t want to go. Hopefully Ernie will be able to get out of it too. I’m sure he’ll muster up some excuse. I also get a tiny vacation from Liz’s complaining and mourning over her relationship with Ian. GOD WOMAN. Ya know, I want to feel bad for her and help her. But it’s like, she feels so bad for herself and shows everyone shamelessly how bad she feels for herself that it’s like impossible for me to. It’s pathetic. She’s 24 and is bitching that she’ll be 25 without a boyfriend. Um, dude, it’s not like you’re 40 and your biological clock is ticking. FUCK OFF! I really hope that if Ernie and I ever broke up I wouldn’t be like this. And if I was, I at least hope I’d be able to hide my crazy a little better.
I was perusing the Tiffany’s website the other day (long story as to why, it wasn’t for funsies) and I actually found a really good look-alike to the engagement ring that Chandler gives to Monica in friends. I was excited. I like that ring kinda and it was cool to see it and be able to look at it for longer than a millisecond. Though, I don’t even know if I could even see myself wearing a fancy ring like that one day. I feel like I’ll never really grow up and mature in terms of my style and such. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.
I’ve finally gotten used to leaning on the horizontal bar behind me. It’s a bit comfy now, actually. However my leg now hurts, so I do have to shift positions.
Maybe I shouldn’t have bought that bag of combos and water before I got on the bus. I don’t’ think I’m in the mood for a snack. For the first time in my life I was able to open the combo bag without it tearing all the way down the side!
I will learn to play piano at least a little bit before I die. I need to. Just being a singer doesn’t constitute me as a musician. I’m also going to re-teach myself the clarinet. I’ve been saying that for a while. Right now I need to rebuild my breath control and duration.
What sucks most about stress headaches is that nothing alleviates them.
I know a lot of people hate overcast, but I kinda like it. I don’t mind gray.
Jimmy Eat World “The Authority Song”. I love it. One of my faves, ever. Maybe that’s why I am currently enjoying the gray outside.
Oh man, so why don’t I tell you about last weekend. It was NY Comic Con aka Travis’s wet dream. So Travis, this chick Ange and some other chick Vanessa came to NY to stay with us for this monumental nerd event. Ernie went too, but he is by no means as into it as these other freaks. Actually, Vanessa was nearly normal too, she was really sweet and quiet. She’s from California and works at Disneyland, which is cool. Oh and Travis just decided he’s in love with her, so good to him with that. But anyway, yeah they dressed up and brought tons of costumes, make-up and props with them you would think that they were in the fucking circus. Ridiculous. Surprisingly, Travis wasn’t too bad. Except for the fact that he kept calling me cousin, and trying to find ways for him to live with Ernie and I, he was tolerable. WE’RE 6TH COUSINS, GET OVER IT. It’s not like that really counts for anything. And you living with us? Puh-leeeeeease! Never going to happen. Ernie was good about politely and discreetly bursting his much inflated bubble with that idea. But the real challenge was dealing with this Ange chick. To put it simply, I fucking hate the bitch. She’s like 26ish, which is completely pathetic that she is still dressing up for nonsense like this. It’s one thing to go to these events, that’s fine. They’re kinda cool because you can meet artists and stuff. But to dress up and act as though this crap is real life? Dude, get your own fucking life. But whatever. She was so incredibly rude and a fucking know-it-all about everything imaginable. She met Shannon and within 30 seconds of meeting her, Ange was calling her out about how she drinks her whiskey and calling her a pussy. Like, what? Who does that? She fucking insulted a random bunch of stuff that I like/have, which is like retarded. Oh hey by the way you’re welcome for letting you crash here for a weekend when I have no fucking idea who you are. It’s cool for you to blatantly insult me. Whatev. Ugh, if any other of my friends met her they would automatically understand how irritating and rude she is. It’s kinda hard to articulate, but it’s just little things that build up and irk you, ya know? And then she left without thanking me for letting her stay there and annoy the shit out of me. Dumb bitch. I told Ernie she is never ever allowed to come to our house ever, ever again. And that he can tell Travis next year for Comic Con that he is allowed to stay, so is Vanessa, but Ange is out of the question and it’s because I fucking hate the bitch.
Halfway through Connecticut! W00t!
Does anyone else ever feel like you’re not sure if you know what you’re talking about?
Once I start making money and probably right after the cruise I think my first big purchase will be the tattoo I’ve been trying to get for the past 5 years. It’s honestly about fucking time I do it.
It’s really weird that I am 23 years old. 25 is right around the corner. And yet I am one of the youngest amongst my friends and the fact that they’re older than I am isn’t weird to me.
Harold and Maude is a really good movie. You should watch it.
I think the reason a lot of people say that high school was the best time of their life is because it was mostly all the fun of being a teenager and young adult with none of the responsibility. I’ve been missing high school lately because I miss not having to be responsible for bills and bullshit. I had fun in high school. It definitely wasn’t the highlight of my life to date, though.
Put on your Sunday best there’s lots of world out there! Wal-e is awesome. Excellent movie.
I often end up humming to my music on the bus because I can’t sing out loud. I wonder how often I do that, how loud it is, and how annoying it is to the people around me. No one has ever said anything to me, or even so much as look at me really, but I still wonder. I also whisper lyrics in an attempt to sing along. I wonder people reaction to that, too.
Groton, CT is apparently the submarine capitol of the world. That’s a pretty big claim, and I may even check that out via Wikipedia.
I hate loafers. This guy sitting next to me is wearing some beat up, brown loafers, tassels and all and they just disgust me. Aside from that, apparently they make girl loafers too which is appalling. They’re so old and ugly looking. I don’t know how else to describe my hatred for them.
“You said you’d never have regrets. Jesus, is there someone yet who got that wish? Did you get yours, babe?” I fucking love that line. It’s so fucking honest. Everyone says and hopes that they have no regrets, but everyone regrets something. No matter how small.
This person a few rows in front of me is playing bejeweled. What a jerk, I want to play a giant version of bejeweled.