So...It's been a long time
There's no way I can catch up on my life in one post. It is completely different from the last time I logged in. This is my attempt to make it a habit again.
I so need to put my thoughts in to words. My life is good and satisfying...especially from the outside looking in. I am not going to say that I am not happy...and I am not going to say that I am completely happy.... But...I mean, unless you are rich I think that life is mostly a struggle to survive. There is always going to be a need to make it better or more comfortable...which = A reason to keep going.
There are so many missing pieces to this story that no one reading could ever begin to understand what I have been thorough or why it would have any bearing or influence on the present or the future for that matter. You can only read the words that I type and wonder what you would do if you were me.
I have been suffering from a mental illness for about a decade and didn't realize that I was. I haven't told anyone that I know that I am. I haven't gotten any counseling or treatment for these issues. I seriously just connected the dots and realized, the reason I was destroying my life for so long was PTSD.
I come from a long line of abusive relationships. The thing is... I have always been FINE. I have gone through it...Wrung out in the wringer and come out on the other side like nothing happened and move on. I am not sure why I felt this was and was so resilient ...but I was.
I will try to continue tomorrow morning :(