we learned this lesson five times fine
it's late and i should go to bed. i don't really know what's up lately- the sequence of events in the last 30 or so hours has left me confused, but i'm not feeling as incapacitatingly awkward as i was last night, nor as silly or worried or middle school-tastic. or as much like a self-indulgent asshole. i'm just stressed over how much sleep i'm going to get, which is normal for me. and this weekend, i have gotten things done. i should skip game tomorrow, but i will not, i'm sure. don't have the discipline. i don't want to play so much as just hang out- craving human contact like crazy lately. i don't know... i'll probably bring reading and pretend it will get done. it'll depend on the state of my russian lit paper, "Absurdity in Bulgakov's Master and Margarita." of the ten things on my to-do list for this weekend, i have so far crossed off one- and worked towards four more, which makes me feel a bit better. whine whine whine school also annoying half-references to lame meaningless emotional bullshit. that's what i think this entry is. changing course now.
lately, for classes, i have read master and margarita (bulgakov), the trial begins and on socialist realism (both tertz [sinyavsky]), copenhagen (frayn), sarcophagus (gubaryev), and some akhmatova poetry. i love having classes that make me read interesting (russian? why always russian?) things, and next semester, i won't- only technical readings. i'm taking chinese, russian, intro to the archives, and the materials of material culture. to that end, i've asked my advisor, an inimitable man with extremely wide interests who reads a lot, to make me a reading list. it should be fucking sweet. perhaps i will also get him to give me the self defense and knife-fighting lessons we talked about. maybe someday i will be less of a defenseless pushover! oh, self-image, how can i see myself that way and also be arrogant and vain and yet physically self-conscious? perhaps it is a miracle of modern science/livejournal/my brain/other. i just had a crazy musical backlash thursday- i've been listening to so much folk and pop and stuff, and i love it, clearly, but i sort of rebounded into rap and such things as nirvana, NIN and le tigre.
last night i saw the venture brothers for the first time. it is an excellent show.
also i saw a bit of filming for a zombie film, it looked fucking sweet.
i have terrible posture.
i get really excited when the weather is lovely.
i also get really excited when i want to go to sleep and realize nothing is stopping me.
sometimes i STILL DON'T DO IT THOUGH.
so much failure. ending now.
i love, i love
--s
lately, for classes, i have read master and margarita (bulgakov), the trial begins and on socialist realism (both tertz [sinyavsky]), copenhagen (frayn), sarcophagus (gubaryev), and some akhmatova poetry. i love having classes that make me read interesting (russian? why always russian?) things, and next semester, i won't- only technical readings. i'm taking chinese, russian, intro to the archives, and the materials of material culture. to that end, i've asked my advisor, an inimitable man with extremely wide interests who reads a lot, to make me a reading list. it should be fucking sweet. perhaps i will also get him to give me the self defense and knife-fighting lessons we talked about. maybe someday i will be less of a defenseless pushover! oh, self-image, how can i see myself that way and also be arrogant and vain and yet physically self-conscious? perhaps it is a miracle of modern science/livejournal/my brain/other. i just had a crazy musical backlash thursday- i've been listening to so much folk and pop and stuff, and i love it, clearly, but i sort of rebounded into rap and such things as nirvana, NIN and le tigre.
last night i saw the venture brothers for the first time. it is an excellent show.
also i saw a bit of filming for a zombie film, it looked fucking sweet.
i have terrible posture.
i get really excited when the weather is lovely.
i also get really excited when i want to go to sleep and realize nothing is stopping me.
sometimes i STILL DON'T DO IT THOUGH.
so much failure. ending now.
i love, i love
--s