by the hour
i totally hit on a customer at work really smooth, on an accident. But I think I must subconsciously do this a lot and a part of my personality must be surfacing with age, lack of maleness in my life, and a somewhat unchallenging work environment. I said I needed to fill out his paper work and he asked if I 'needed his new address' and I said 'no that is was just to make sure he was real, that I didnt make him up.' And somehow the way I said 'I made him up' sounded really guilty after what must have been going on in my head, was done with its daydreams. And we were allready leaning in really close, so that I could understand his accent. It is too easy to get caught up in these suprise moments where what is in peoples heads actually connects with the mindless words we are spouting out. At work I put on this fake outgoing customer service persona " Are you finding everything okay" .."How are you doing today." And then we are supposed to ask the customers alot of questions and make them think we care about them for the couple seconds we are waiting on them. I get bored so I start switching my tone of voice for phone calls and when conversing/ect. also I constantly stare at people, I cant help it and of course than I have to talk to them. So I am stuck with my real personality that is more intimate and curious, actually wanting to hear about these people, and then this new one that I make up and need to remain sane at work so I am stuck playing out this movie persona and then end up running away blushing or giggling at how ridiculous it is being forced to talk to people about nothing unless one of us decides to give in and actually talk about something random. That is my favorite part of my job the only real part. when people actually talk about things. things that do not relate to anything in the store. when we stop acting like we are only shopping and earning money by the hour. we recently were handed out this packet about getting free counseling services. And the manager remained very "professional" talking about suicide and problems at home. I absolutely love the division people try to create between work and home life. Like real life and dream life, you cant control it. for certain things i have the best memory and I am so observant, i try to ignore things just to feel normal.