Two Updates now...
so yeah i guess my my space thing worked but i have to get used to that whole thing. umm well i guess i have been thinking alot lately and boy do i fucking hate that.. i still feel doom is on its way, doesnt seem to bother anyone but me but hey thats ok. today i am going to go eat greek food with my dad. and my dreaded sister is going. see last time we went to go eat i did not know that i was given the option not to call her, but this time i think i didnt, and that just sucks. there is 8 days till my birthday, i want to drink and everyone wants to watch me drink. how fucking fun is that? ITS NOT. oh well ill just probally just fucking work. i mean no one is gonna do anything for me and well that sucks i just got to relize that people will throw amy parties and not me.. its the way it has always been. well on happier birthday terms shana got me this totally fucking AWSOME purse its shaped like a guitar, it rules and amanda came through with my crow flask cant wait to use it. by my self. i dont know i just feel people are to busy, you know. i know this is going to hurt some one but i feel like no one cares, sure they say they do, and act like they do, but go they really? i feel a lot of the time that i am a burden. to everyone around. sucks to say but its how i feel. and i really hate this feeling bull shit. i mean i swear that if i had no feeling my whole fucking life would be 100% better. i mean seriously, that would eliminate all fucking cutting crying just everything. is there a way? hey how about i just go fucking jump off the second floor and hit my head so i eather die or be come a vegtabe.. anyone would work. i have to put on this face that i am happy cause i honestly dont think that people like me when i am feeling sad, see there is that feel shit again. if and when i do feel sad. people think i am being bitchy.so i have to fucking hide it, i ahve to hide how i "feel" about everything because you know.. just gonna say something mean but i am not. so yeah anyway. i went shopping on saturday and i baught all kinds of useless bull shit.i didnt really need anyof it but oh well. i got these beautiful pink zero gauges. there so fucking BLING. and well i guess i have been thinking about the assholes and bitches that have fucked me over..in the past. and well see my "new" year is going to be on my birthday where i can start over. and to everyone one who knows i cant stand the fuck out of them i tell you this. I HOPE YOU DIE A SLOW AND VERY PAINFULL DEATH. SOON.FUCK OFF AND DIE, PLEASE, SOON, ASSHOLES AND BITCHES, YOU BLOW. wow i feel better now only if that would come true.... eh. well i think that is all
Audrey
Audrey