Oh, forget it.
I'm clearly never going to finish the trip write-up (largely because FUCK HTML) and, honestly, who cares? Here are the (one, two) photo albums on Facebook, if you're actually curious. (Yes, yes, I did finally change my Facebook name to my name. It took less than twelve hours for people I was not friends with in high school to try to friend me. I will probably change it back soon if this keeps up.)
If you actually clicked through all four hundred pictures (I took about 1000 on the trip how do i do that wtf), you may have noticed that the second album had a lot of sand and dune buggies! (Well, okay, they both had a lot of sand. But only the second one had dune buggies!)
This first story is about that grand dune buggy adventure.
SO THERE WE ARE. DUNE BUGGIES! Man, they are awesome. If you ever get a chance, go, seriously. SO MUCH FUN. We had it for two hours, which was plenty of time to buzz around the area a few times. We kept stopping to switch drivers, though, 'cause it is only polite. Dad was really boring at first (he started in the driver's seat), just puttered us along the well-traveled stretches of flat sand until we ended up at the lake. I was not having such nonsense, though, and after I sent us flying (or, in one mildly terrifying case, sliding sideways) down dunes and both succeeded and failed at climbing a bunch of hills and played dodge'em with some of the dead trees and buggy traps in the area, he actually, you know, drove it like a buggy. Which was fun! But also, argh, he was pretty trigger happy with the gas pedal, and half the time I wasn't even strapped in (four point harnesses, whoo!) all the way before he had us speeding across the terrain. Ugh, Dad. Anyway, we were near the end of our time, so I pulled us over near a little picnic table (not that anyone would ever picnic in such an area, with all the sand flying around) and let him take the wheel again - BUT FIRST! I wanted to take a few pictures! So I snapped a few, then slipped my camera back in the Ziploc baggy I'd brought for holding the few things I either didn't feel comfortable or just plain didn't feel like leaving in the car (these included: my camera, an extra set of batteries, my car key, and my phone and my Pokéwalker SHUT UP) (the Ziploc bag was, obviously, to keep the sand away from them). But I did not have time to stash the bag (or strap in) before we were off! That turned out okay, though, 'cause we stopped a few times and I got some cool pictures of the petrified trees and everything. And then for our run to the exit, we went all the way down the one-way dunes (they were so steep you would not be able to see if a vehicle was on the other side, even with the tall flag every vehicle had, so you could only travel in one direction on them), and of course because my father is kind of rubbish at following the rules of buggy driving, he took a few of the crests too fast, so when we went over them we hit bumps and bottomed out and had one heck of a jerk.
We hit two of those, right in a row. I wasn't really paying attention to the bag in my hands (should've been, apparently!) because I guess when we hit that first big BOOM and we all jerked around, the stuff in the bag shifted around and, I dunno, broke the seal on the bag somehow or something? And then we went over the second hill and WABOOM and then it was TO THE EXIT! And we were heading for the path out and slowing down and for whatever reason I looked down at the bag in my hands and, just. Oh, shit. Phone's missing. PANIC. PANIC PANIC PANIC Dad was mid-sentence about how it was okay that he lost his hat (oh, yes, my father lost his hat at some point. I did not notice and he did not really bother mentioning it until way later) because he brought it knowing he might lose it, so he made sure it was one he did not mind losing (and so on) and I was like YEAH WELL YOU KNOW WHAT IS NOT DISPOSABLE? MY PHONE. AAAA SHIT WE HAVE TO FIND IT.
And of course, we're on, what, 450 acres of sand dunes or something, so he is just like, uh. It's gone. Sorry.
And I am freaking the fuck out and pitching a fit and reminding him we still have like ten whole minutes okay TURN THE BUGGY AROUND OR SO HELP ME GOD and he told me later he only turned around because he didn't want me to never let him live it down or whatever, so BACK WE WENT. Of course, where had I lost the phone? I was pretty sure I'd had it when we'd last switched seats, BUT MAYBE I HADN'T?? We managed to find the picnic table again, and Dad just told me to point (we couldn't really speak on account of all the sand, and we couldn't really hear on account of the engine, anyway) and he'd drive... so from the picnic table I retraced our path over the dunes, nearly into some trees, over a few rough spots, and then down along the one way stretch.
And then we went over the first WABOOM hill and I was like, holy shit this was it, wasn't it?? And SURE ENOUGH GUYS we went over the next hill and THERE IT WAS half buried in the sand (there was so much wind, the sand was ever-shifting) and mercifully not driven over by anyone else yet.
And also the battery I hadn't noticed missing was also right next to it, haha.
So I jumped out of the buggy (taking my life into my hands, yikes!) and retrieved MY PHONE EEE and we all lived happily ever after, only now with a freaking amazing and unbelievable story to tell.
I really wish I'd had time to take a picture of the poor thing.
The other story is about A BEE. It was on the way home (sort of. We crossed back into Canada and headed east and all, but we made a pit stop in New York to visit my brother at school before getting back), we were in Niagara Falls, grabbing some doughnuts at Tim Horton's before braving the customs line back into the USA, and Dad had just been talking to Mom on The Impossibly Blessed Phone and looking at maps... anyway, he handed the phone back to me in case I had anything I wanted to say to her, and - oh, yes, back up. We were sitting in the car with the windows all down and I had my right arm hanging out the window and earlier a bee had been crawling all over my fingers (that's in the album), but then it got bored of that and perched on the side of the car whatever, and I wiped the doughnut remnants off my fingers thinking that was the end of that BUT NO.
The bee CAME BACK and it landed ON MY LIPS AUGH WHAT and THEN it used its little proboscis and started licking/biting/sucking/WHATEVER on my lips because OF COURSE DOUGHNUT SUGAR and that actually is very painful and I cannot really recommend it.
And so there I am with a bee crawling around on my lips and suckering on me and Dad is just like why are you making that high-pitched noise? And Mom is still on the phone going, are you okay? AND OF COURSE I CANNOT ANSWER BECAUSE LIKE HELL AM I OPENING MY MOUTH so I hop out of the car and stand around making sad faces and wincing until the bee realises that I really don't feel like making out with it and then it leaves, heartbroken.
BUT NOT BEFORE LANDING BACK ON MY HAND AND USING ITS STUPID PROBOSCIS ON THE BACK OF MY HAND WHAT THE HELL, BEE.
and that was the bee adventure
SO END THE TRIP HIGHLIGHTS I guess
(no wait one more thing. these are crazy awesome.)
Anyway, last night I was up forever because there was this stupid nasty spider hiding behind my headboard and it was playing peek-a-boo or something because I'd throw a book at it and come away dead-spider-less and it would disappear and I would side-eye the wall for a while, and then look away for a bit and then look back and THERE IT WOULD BE AGAIN rinse repeat and then around 4:15 I cracked and went into the kitchen and got the can of spider killer (last used to purge the baby spiders from the ceiling in the old place, ugh ugh ugh) and sprayed it all over the place behind the headboard and under the bed and everywhere.
And then I had to sit in the other room until it dried and I could go to bed finally at like 5am. It was not fun. And now my internal clock is borked. boo.
If you actually clicked through all four hundred pictures (I took about 1000 on the trip how do i do that wtf), you may have noticed that the second album had a lot of sand and dune buggies! (Well, okay, they both had a lot of sand. But only the second one had dune buggies!)
This first story is about that grand dune buggy adventure.
SO THERE WE ARE. DUNE BUGGIES! Man, they are awesome. If you ever get a chance, go, seriously. SO MUCH FUN. We had it for two hours, which was plenty of time to buzz around the area a few times. We kept stopping to switch drivers, though, 'cause it is only polite. Dad was really boring at first (he started in the driver's seat), just puttered us along the well-traveled stretches of flat sand until we ended up at the lake. I was not having such nonsense, though, and after I sent us flying (or, in one mildly terrifying case, sliding sideways) down dunes and both succeeded and failed at climbing a bunch of hills and played dodge'em with some of the dead trees and buggy traps in the area, he actually, you know, drove it like a buggy. Which was fun! But also, argh, he was pretty trigger happy with the gas pedal, and half the time I wasn't even strapped in (four point harnesses, whoo!) all the way before he had us speeding across the terrain. Ugh, Dad. Anyway, we were near the end of our time, so I pulled us over near a little picnic table (not that anyone would ever picnic in such an area, with all the sand flying around) and let him take the wheel again - BUT FIRST! I wanted to take a few pictures! So I snapped a few, then slipped my camera back in the Ziploc baggy I'd brought for holding the few things I either didn't feel comfortable or just plain didn't feel like leaving in the car (these included: my camera, an extra set of batteries, my car key, and my phone and my Pokéwalker SHUT UP) (the Ziploc bag was, obviously, to keep the sand away from them). But I did not have time to stash the bag (or strap in) before we were off! That turned out okay, though, 'cause we stopped a few times and I got some cool pictures of the petrified trees and everything. And then for our run to the exit, we went all the way down the one-way dunes (they were so steep you would not be able to see if a vehicle was on the other side, even with the tall flag every vehicle had, so you could only travel in one direction on them), and of course because my father is kind of rubbish at following the rules of buggy driving, he took a few of the crests too fast, so when we went over them we hit bumps and bottomed out and had one heck of a jerk.
We hit two of those, right in a row. I wasn't really paying attention to the bag in my hands (should've been, apparently!) because I guess when we hit that first big BOOM and we all jerked around, the stuff in the bag shifted around and, I dunno, broke the seal on the bag somehow or something? And then we went over the second hill and WABOOM and then it was TO THE EXIT! And we were heading for the path out and slowing down and for whatever reason I looked down at the bag in my hands and, just. Oh, shit. Phone's missing. PANIC. PANIC PANIC PANIC Dad was mid-sentence about how it was okay that he lost his hat (oh, yes, my father lost his hat at some point. I did not notice and he did not really bother mentioning it until way later) because he brought it knowing he might lose it, so he made sure it was one he did not mind losing (and so on) and I was like YEAH WELL YOU KNOW WHAT IS NOT DISPOSABLE? MY PHONE. AAAA SHIT WE HAVE TO FIND IT.
And of course, we're on, what, 450 acres of sand dunes or something, so he is just like, uh. It's gone. Sorry.
And I am freaking the fuck out and pitching a fit and reminding him we still have like ten whole minutes okay TURN THE BUGGY AROUND OR SO HELP ME GOD and he told me later he only turned around because he didn't want me to never let him live it down or whatever, so BACK WE WENT. Of course, where had I lost the phone? I was pretty sure I'd had it when we'd last switched seats, BUT MAYBE I HADN'T?? We managed to find the picnic table again, and Dad just told me to point (we couldn't really speak on account of all the sand, and we couldn't really hear on account of the engine, anyway) and he'd drive... so from the picnic table I retraced our path over the dunes, nearly into some trees, over a few rough spots, and then down along the one way stretch.
And then we went over the first WABOOM hill and I was like, holy shit this was it, wasn't it?? And SURE ENOUGH GUYS we went over the next hill and THERE IT WAS half buried in the sand (there was so much wind, the sand was ever-shifting) and mercifully not driven over by anyone else yet.
And also the battery I hadn't noticed missing was also right next to it, haha.
So I jumped out of the buggy (taking my life into my hands, yikes!) and retrieved MY PHONE EEE and we all lived happily ever after, only now with a freaking amazing and unbelievable story to tell.
I really wish I'd had time to take a picture of the poor thing.
The other story is about A BEE. It was on the way home (sort of. We crossed back into Canada and headed east and all, but we made a pit stop in New York to visit my brother at school before getting back), we were in Niagara Falls, grabbing some doughnuts at Tim Horton's before braving the customs line back into the USA, and Dad had just been talking to Mom on The Impossibly Blessed Phone and looking at maps... anyway, he handed the phone back to me in case I had anything I wanted to say to her, and - oh, yes, back up. We were sitting in the car with the windows all down and I had my right arm hanging out the window and earlier a bee had been crawling all over my fingers (that's in the album), but then it got bored of that and perched on the side of the car whatever, and I wiped the doughnut remnants off my fingers thinking that was the end of that BUT NO.
The bee CAME BACK and it landed ON MY LIPS AUGH WHAT and THEN it used its little proboscis and started licking/biting/sucking/WHATEVER on my lips because OF COURSE DOUGHNUT SUGAR and that actually is very painful and I cannot really recommend it.
And so there I am with a bee crawling around on my lips and suckering on me and Dad is just like why are you making that high-pitched noise? And Mom is still on the phone going, are you okay? AND OF COURSE I CANNOT ANSWER BECAUSE LIKE HELL AM I OPENING MY MOUTH so I hop out of the car and stand around making sad faces and wincing until the bee realises that I really don't feel like making out with it and then it leaves, heartbroken.
BUT NOT BEFORE LANDING BACK ON MY HAND AND USING ITS STUPID PROBOSCIS ON THE BACK OF MY HAND WHAT THE HELL, BEE.
and that was the bee adventure
SO END THE TRIP HIGHLIGHTS I guess
(no wait one more thing. these are crazy awesome.)
Anyway, last night I was up forever because there was this stupid nasty spider hiding behind my headboard and it was playing peek-a-boo or something because I'd throw a book at it and come away dead-spider-less and it would disappear and I would side-eye the wall for a while, and then look away for a bit and then look back and THERE IT WOULD BE AGAIN rinse repeat and then around 4:15 I cracked and went into the kitchen and got the can of spider killer (last used to purge the baby spiders from the ceiling in the old place, ugh ugh ugh) and sprayed it all over the place behind the headboard and under the bed and everywhere.
And then I had to sit in the other room until it dried and I could go to bed finally at like 5am. It was not fun. And now my internal clock is borked. boo.