Operation: Catsitter
EXTENDED EDITION.
My cousin (not the one currently living in Australia on a work visa - the one who's still on her three month trip through the Amazon, then Australia, and then Southern California) is having me take care of her cats for the next [unknown] days. Thursday was supposed to be my last day, but now it is not (she'd had a petsitter, but they were neglectful, apparently, so she had a friend checking on them, but now he's out of town, and now he can't get back until who-knows-when, so...). They are cute cats, and it's not like her house is that far away, so I do not mind. I do wish I had not been stuck with the crap key, though. Seriously, my first night, it took me twenty minutes to get in, and then twenty minutes to relock it. And there are so many mosquitoes. aaaugh I have bites on my feet and I don't even know how. I have almost got the hang of it now, though!
Work is killing us all. We keep having employee meltdowns. I don't know what the hell is going on, but tomorrow I am baking cookies to bring in to one of my coworkers who has stayed superlate a couple times now to prevent me from losing my mind. (Speaking of baking, today? I MADE A PIE. No baking required, so this is perhaps not as impressive as you may have initially thought. Fresh blueberries from the organic farm close by! Also local cream cheese. I have not tried it yet, but whenever my mother has made this pie, it is like, the most amazing thing ever, so hopefully it will be delicious.) (Also, while we're here, my pretty cake was not selling - it was chocolate cake, those just don't sell as well - so I managed to talk my mother into buying it before she went off to CA for HAPPY FAMILY TIME. And my brother took a picture of it before they made me write on it, so here is my pretty cake! And also my hands, covered with the absolutely awful new gloves they're making us use now. GIVE ME BACK THE OLD ONES.)
At the end of the month, I am taking a little over a week off from work (wtf? You can't afford that! No, I am actually being paid to do this) to drive across the country with my father. Considering how our relationship goes sometimes/often, I am not sure this is a good idea, but, damnit.
So, yeah. Crazy, two day drive across the country until we reach the western side of Michigan, then we run around for a while, and then we drive back. It's currently a nine day event, but Mom's got hand surgery at the end of the month, so we may cut it short to be back for that (we did not know when her surgery was when we made the plan, because communication is for losers, and also we have to go in August and that's the only time I can get off).
OKAY SO. A while back, now, mysticeden sent me some awesome stuff in the mail. WHOOO, MAIL! One of those things was a fanmade bookmark she picked up at a convention! Have a look. It took me a bit longer than I care to admit to figure out wtf I was looking at. A My Little Pony-based parody of something, obviously, but...? The moose was what clued me in, but I was never quite sure who the black unicorn was supposed to be. I had a guess, of course, but thought the expression didn't really fit. (I was right, as I found out when I finally went and tracked down the original art, but that doesn't change that the expression doesn't seem right. It works better, there, but on the bookmark, it is too tiny, so you cannot see the smirk.)
I later noticed that it actually says Supernatural over the MLP logo. Oops.
Lately I have been trying to play Xenogears! This is not the first time I have made such an attempt. It's like... the third? Fourth? I think it is fourth. Every time I start it, something happens and I end up not finishing it, and then it's been forever and I don't remember anything, so I may as well restart. Maybe this time I will actually finish it?
ALSO, I would like someone to explain to Citan that while, yes, his charisma is apparently hacked (oh, hello random stranger! What's that? You want to tell me your life story all of a sudden? Certainly!), it should not actually be able to protect him from death the way it seems to. I mean, honestly, who knew you could charm debris into not hitting you, or reactors into not exploding (or cups of tea into bringing themselves to your face 'cause you're too busy to pick it up or something hahaha PSX-era game graphics you are the best)? AND YET. srsly, wtf. It is almost as boggling as Fei's stupidity. Almost.
(I guess I have additional motivation this time, though! My brother replayed it recently so Mom could watch, so now she has seen it, and I have not, and that is just weird.)
(Because I am an idiot, I forgot to start keeping notes/ramblings for this game. Guess I really better keep moving with it, haha. THIS IS THE DAMN GAME THAT MADE ME THINK I SHOULD START THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE AUGH. Me not beating this game is, I dunno, pathological at this point, I am beginning to think.
I found a(nother) copy of Ico the other day, and was super surprised and excited about it, until I remembered that there's that whole collection thing coming out on the PS3 sometime this year (in theory), so of course it isn't going to be as ridiculously rare and sought after as before. I tried to talk my brother into buying it for himself, but he is not interested (heck, he still hasn't played Shadow of the Colossus, which I gave him, per his own request, a couple years ago not that I have room to talk you have owned Xenogears for how long??), and also his PS2 broke. It's been unable to read DVDs for a good while, now, and I guess it finally decided enough was enough. He is a bit annoyed at our parents, since no one else has even looked at it in years, so of course it is their fault. (Well, they did leave it switched - but not turned - on, maybe that contributed...?) But he does not seem much interested in getting a new one. Possibly he is outgrowing video games? ugh. D'you ever feel like everyone around you is going on with their life while you're just stuck in a rut? That is my existence forever. I feel like I haven't matured a day since seventh grade sometimes, and I mean that in a bad way, not a fun or silly way.
I am thinking I need to start carrying a little notebook around with me to jot down when I think hateful thoughts at myself and what the thoughts are. And also to record my sleeping, because wtf. It's been really hot, so of course I don't sleep great, and work's been really stressful, and I've been getting up early to go see to the cats, but, man, I took three naps today, and none of them were very short (one was over two hours).
Of course, that I'm wide awake at 3:30 probably goes to show something, there, but I was tired.
Uuugh, I need to get up in 5 hours. Why, self, why.
And then I could have a quick and precise answer for my therapist when she asks me these things.
hng. She's going to ask me if I did any reading or writing or gaming on Tuesday. I should probably try to get one of those worked on so that I don't have to say, no, I did nothing, because I am an unmotivated twit. Except the lack of motivation is sort of a thing. I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I HATE MY BRAIN WHY CAN'T ANYTHING EVER JUST BE EASY.
(... must be something about the first week of the month or something, ha, um. I had a complete meltdown on July 3rd that was ... basically the same thing. Sick of my brain, sick of it not working, sick of being miserable, sick of trying to get better, sick of eating, sick of sleeping, sick of being awake an being hungry, just sick of it, sick of it all. But mostly sick of my brain.)
WHAT A HAPPY NOTE TO END AN ENTRY ON.
... so, on a positive, I got some new pretty clothes (good god, what? since when do I make entries like that?), and I had my keyboard out and was actually playing on it for a bit a week or two ago. But I haven't since, 'cause I don't want the noise to bother people (since, you know, it's not like they'd tell me if it was bugging them or anything, right? And playing it when I'm alone is no help because what if I annoy the downstairs neighbors? Jeezum, Jecca, get your shit together, this is shameful.
I HAVE HAPPY STORY IDEAS (or, er, not "happy story" ideas, but rather, story ideas that make me happy to think about) IN MY HEAD. IF ONLY I COULD WRITE THEM. OH, WELL.
I am getting hungry. I guess I had better try to sleep.
My cousin (not the one currently living in Australia on a work visa - the one who's still on her three month trip through the Amazon, then Australia, and then Southern California) is having me take care of her cats for the next [unknown] days. Thursday was supposed to be my last day, but now it is not (she'd had a petsitter, but they were neglectful, apparently, so she had a friend checking on them, but now he's out of town, and now he can't get back until who-knows-when, so...). They are cute cats, and it's not like her house is that far away, so I do not mind. I do wish I had not been stuck with the crap key, though. Seriously, my first night, it took me twenty minutes to get in, and then twenty minutes to relock it. And there are so many mosquitoes. aaaugh I have bites on my feet and I don't even know how. I have almost got the hang of it now, though!
Work is killing us all. We keep having employee meltdowns. I don't know what the hell is going on, but tomorrow I am baking cookies to bring in to one of my coworkers who has stayed superlate a couple times now to prevent me from losing my mind. (Speaking of baking, today? I MADE A PIE. No baking required, so this is perhaps not as impressive as you may have initially thought. Fresh blueberries from the organic farm close by! Also local cream cheese. I have not tried it yet, but whenever my mother has made this pie, it is like, the most amazing thing ever, so hopefully it will be delicious.) (Also, while we're here, my pretty cake was not selling - it was chocolate cake, those just don't sell as well - so I managed to talk my mother into buying it before she went off to CA for HAPPY FAMILY TIME. And my brother took a picture of it before they made me write on it, so here is my pretty cake! And also my hands, covered with the absolutely awful new gloves they're making us use now. GIVE ME BACK THE OLD ONES.)
At the end of the month, I am taking a little over a week off from work (wtf? You can't afford that! No, I am actually being paid to do this) to drive across the country with my father. Considering how our relationship goes sometimes/often, I am not sure this is a good idea, but, damnit.
So, yeah. Crazy, two day drive across the country until we reach the western side of Michigan, then we run around for a while, and then we drive back. It's currently a nine day event, but Mom's got hand surgery at the end of the month, so we may cut it short to be back for that (we did not know when her surgery was when we made the plan, because communication is for losers, and also we have to go in August and that's the only time I can get off).
OKAY SO. A while back, now, mysticeden sent me some awesome stuff in the mail. WHOOO, MAIL! One of those things was a fanmade bookmark she picked up at a convention! Have a look. It took me a bit longer than I care to admit to figure out wtf I was looking at. A My Little Pony-based parody of something, obviously, but...? The moose was what clued me in, but I was never quite sure who the black unicorn was supposed to be. I had a guess, of course, but thought the expression didn't really fit. (I was right, as I found out when I finally went and tracked down the original art, but that doesn't change that the expression doesn't seem right. It works better, there, but on the bookmark, it is too tiny, so you cannot see the smirk.)
I later noticed that it actually says Supernatural over the MLP logo. Oops.
Lately I have been trying to play Xenogears! This is not the first time I have made such an attempt. It's like... the third? Fourth? I think it is fourth. Every time I start it, something happens and I end up not finishing it, and then it's been forever and I don't remember anything, so I may as well restart. Maybe this time I will actually finish it?
ALSO, I would like someone to explain to Citan that while, yes, his charisma is apparently hacked (oh, hello random stranger! What's that? You want to tell me your life story all of a sudden? Certainly!), it should not actually be able to protect him from death the way it seems to. I mean, honestly, who knew you could charm debris into not hitting you, or reactors into not exploding (or cups of tea into bringing themselves to your face 'cause you're too busy to pick it up or something hahaha PSX-era game graphics you are the best)? AND YET. srsly, wtf. It is almost as boggling as Fei's stupidity. Almost.
(I guess I have additional motivation this time, though! My brother replayed it recently so Mom could watch, so now she has seen it, and I have not, and that is just weird.)
(Because I am an idiot, I forgot to start keeping notes/ramblings for this game. Guess I really better keep moving with it, haha. THIS IS THE DAMN GAME THAT MADE ME THINK I SHOULD START THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE AUGH. Me not beating this game is, I dunno, pathological at this point, I am beginning to think.
I found a(nother) copy of Ico the other day, and was super surprised and excited about it, until I remembered that there's that whole collection thing coming out on the PS3 sometime this year (in theory), so of course it isn't going to be as ridiculously rare and sought after as before. I tried to talk my brother into buying it for himself, but he is not interested (heck, he still hasn't played Shadow of the Colossus, which I gave him, per his own request, a couple years ago not that I have room to talk you have owned Xenogears for how long??), and also his PS2 broke. It's been unable to read DVDs for a good while, now, and I guess it finally decided enough was enough. He is a bit annoyed at our parents, since no one else has even looked at it in years, so of course it is their fault. (Well, they did leave it switched - but not turned - on, maybe that contributed...?) But he does not seem much interested in getting a new one. Possibly he is outgrowing video games? ugh. D'you ever feel like everyone around you is going on with their life while you're just stuck in a rut? That is my existence forever. I feel like I haven't matured a day since seventh grade sometimes, and I mean that in a bad way, not a fun or silly way.
I am thinking I need to start carrying a little notebook around with me to jot down when I think hateful thoughts at myself and what the thoughts are. And also to record my sleeping, because wtf. It's been really hot, so of course I don't sleep great, and work's been really stressful, and I've been getting up early to go see to the cats, but, man, I took three naps today, and none of them were very short (one was over two hours).
Of course, that I'm wide awake at 3:30 probably goes to show something, there, but I was tired.
Uuugh, I need to get up in 5 hours. Why, self, why.
And then I could have a quick and precise answer for my therapist when she asks me these things.
hng. She's going to ask me if I did any reading or writing or gaming on Tuesday. I should probably try to get one of those worked on so that I don't have to say, no, I did nothing, because I am an unmotivated twit. Except the lack of motivation is sort of a thing. I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I HATE MY BRAIN WHY CAN'T ANYTHING EVER JUST BE EASY.
(... must be something about the first week of the month or something, ha, um. I had a complete meltdown on July 3rd that was ... basically the same thing. Sick of my brain, sick of it not working, sick of being miserable, sick of trying to get better, sick of eating, sick of sleeping, sick of being awake an being hungry, just sick of it, sick of it all. But mostly sick of my brain.)
WHAT A HAPPY NOTE TO END AN ENTRY ON.
... so, on a positive, I got some new pretty clothes (good god, what? since when do I make entries like that?), and I had my keyboard out and was actually playing on it for a bit a week or two ago. But I haven't since, 'cause I don't want the noise to bother people (since, you know, it's not like they'd tell me if it was bugging them or anything, right? And playing it when I'm alone is no help because what if I annoy the downstairs neighbors? Jeezum, Jecca, get your shit together, this is shameful.
I HAVE HAPPY STORY IDEAS (or, er, not "happy story" ideas, but rather, story ideas that make me happy to think about) IN MY HEAD. IF ONLY I COULD WRITE THEM. OH, WELL.
I am getting hungry. I guess I had better try to sleep.