League of Legends Nonsense
I don't post here very often anymore. So have some useless commentary on the worst and most hilarious game I've played in a while. Dawn, on the off chance you read this, show it to Hans.
The game started off with our Master Yi charging into their base. Yeeaaap. Intentional feeder.
Ej: WELP. Have a fun 20 minutes guys.
I resigned myself to drudging about in my lane for 20 minutes, waiting for the surrender. When I'd gotten my third kill as a tank I realized there was something terribly wrong. My first suspicion had come with the enemy's Twitch, having been fed for 10 minutes, died to our Caitlyn in mid. But I figured, "Eh, he's Brazilian."
But no. It was worse. We were facing a team of complete. And total. Failures. By the 20 minute mark I was raging. And someone on our team denied our surrender. By the 25 minute mark, I was providing color commentary on our ganks.
Ej: [All] AND HERE WE GO TO GANK FATE AGAIN
Ej: [All] ANNNNND HE FALLS FOR THE STUN!
Ej: [All] ANOTHER GANK BROUGHT TO YOU BY INCOMPETENCY INCORPORATED. YOU MAY NOW KILL ME BECAUSE IM TYPING IN MID
*addressing enemy player*
Ej: [All] NASUS.
Ej: [All] NASUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
Ej: [All] YOU'RE OVEREXTENDED. YOUR ASS IS GOING TO GET GANKED.
Nasus: [All] Shut up, faggot.
Ej: [All] WELP. I WARNED YOU.
*GANK*
Ej: [All] SEE WHAT I DO FOR YOU PEOPLE? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU END OUR MISERY. AND HOW DO YOU REPAY ME?
Ej: [All] IN DELICIOUS DELICIOUS GOLD. BRB GETTING SUNFIRE CAPE
Ej: [All] There are words for how retarded this is.
Ej: [All] But humanity doesn't know them yet because we haven't encountered the Gibbering Fuckwits of Idiota Prime.
Ej: [All] A planet in the Retardulon Cluster. It is lit by the glow of a thousand trillion dying brain cells.
Teammate: Dude, you are making me laugh so hard my mother is telling me to shut up.
Ej: [All] YOUR MOM IS- WAIT GODDAMMIT.
Ej: [All] YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS?
Ej: [All] I'M SITTING HERE IN THIS BUSH WITH AN ORACLES ELIXER WATCHING TWO TEEMOS PLANT MUSHROOMS.
Ej: [All] AND THE SHAPE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE A COCK
*enemy Teemo fucking books it back to base terrified of a gank*
*Ej leaves the bush on the other side of the map*
Ej: [All] JUST FUCKING WITH YOU LITTLE BUDDY
*address enemy Wu-Kong who was actually halfways compentent*
Ej: [All] HEY WUKONG I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU SON. I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A FEEDER AIN'T
Ej: [All] -wait a second, fuck.
Ej: [All] LOOK GUYS. I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE. IN THE OPEN. DEFENSELESS. IGNORE MY AOE AURA
Ej: [All] ACTUALLY, IGNORE BOTH OF THEM. AND THE AOE DEBUFF. ITS NOT LIKE MY TEAMMATES ARE IN THE BUSHES
Ej: [All] OR LIKE I HAVE MY AOE STUN READY.
Ej: [All] TOTALLY OK TO GANK ME GUYS.
*a wild Twitch appears!*
Ej: [All] JESUS CHRIST YOU MUST BE BRAZILIAN
*Ej used Curse of the Sad Mummy!"
*Ej's team used FUCKING DOGPILE!*
Ej: [All] ITS SUPER FUCKING EFFECTIVE
Enemy team Teemo: Dude, just stop, I can't play the game properly, my sides hurt to hard from laughing.
Ej: [All] IT'S MY SUPER SECRET SPECIAL TACTICAL MANEUVER: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
Ej: [All] NOT WINNING MIND YOU. WE'RE CLEARLY NOT WINNING. BUT MAYBE BY THE END OF THIS I'LL BE COOL
Enemy Nasus: You mad bro?
Ej: [All] EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME?
Ej: [All] HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION?
Ej: [All] ARE YOU PERHAPS BLIND AS WELL AS FUCKING RETARDED?
Ej: [All] THAT WOULD ACCOUNT FOR HAVING 2 KILLS IN THIS FUCKING GOLDFISH-RICH WOODEN CYLINDRICAL ENCLOSURE
Ej: [All] HAVE YOU SOMEHOW MISSED THE ALL CAPS?
Ej: [All] AND MY UNCEASING TORRENT OF BLASPHEMY AND EXPLETIVES?
Ej: [All] SON I HAVE GONE BEYOND MAD, PASSED GO, COLLECTED 200 GOLD OFF YOUR DUMB ASS AND LANDED STRAIGHT IN
Ej: [All] just chillin out, maxin
Ej: [All] and relaxin all cool
Ej: [All] HEY I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS IN A WHILE, ARE YOU BARONING? I THINK YOU'RE BARONING
*triple kill*
Ej: [All] YEEEEEAAAAP.
*2 minutes later*
*entire enemy team dead, one to a fucking neutral creep*
Ej: [All] RIGHT, THAT'S IT, IM REPORTING EVERY LAST ONE OF US AS AN UNSKILLED PLAYER
Ej: [All] EXCEPT YOU YI, YOU GET INTENTIONAL FEEDING
Ej: [All] AND YOU TWITCH. YOU'RE FUCKING BRAZILIAN - HAVE THEY GOT A REPORT OPTION FOR THAT YET?
Ej: [All] IF YOU ALL WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO REPORT ME FOR VERBAL ABUSE, I WILL CONTINUE MY UNCEASING, CAUSTIC-FUELED VERBAL ASSAULT ON YOUR RETINAS
Ej: [All] HOLY HELL I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO USE THOSE WORDS IN THAT CONTEXT
tl;dr a game so bad the players tried to get themselves banned.
AND THEN WE HAD A DANCE PARTY IN OUR BASE AS CREEPS DESTROYED OUR NEXUS AT 39:50
GG FUCKERS I HOPE I'M BANNED FOR A WEEK
The game started off with our Master Yi charging into their base. Yeeaaap. Intentional feeder.
Ej: WELP. Have a fun 20 minutes guys.
I resigned myself to drudging about in my lane for 20 minutes, waiting for the surrender. When I'd gotten my third kill as a tank I realized there was something terribly wrong. My first suspicion had come with the enemy's Twitch, having been fed for 10 minutes, died to our Caitlyn in mid. But I figured, "Eh, he's Brazilian."
But no. It was worse. We were facing a team of complete. And total. Failures. By the 20 minute mark I was raging. And someone on our team denied our surrender. By the 25 minute mark, I was providing color commentary on our ganks.
Ej: [All] AND HERE WE GO TO GANK FATE AGAIN
Ej: [All] ANNNNND HE FALLS FOR THE STUN!
Ej: [All] ANOTHER GANK BROUGHT TO YOU BY INCOMPETENCY INCORPORATED. YOU MAY NOW KILL ME BECAUSE IM TYPING IN MID
*addressing enemy player*
Ej: [All] NASUS.
Ej: [All] NASUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
Ej: [All] YOU'RE OVEREXTENDED. YOUR ASS IS GOING TO GET GANKED.
Nasus: [All] Shut up, faggot.
Ej: [All] WELP. I WARNED YOU.
*GANK*
Ej: [All] SEE WHAT I DO FOR YOU PEOPLE? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU END OUR MISERY. AND HOW DO YOU REPAY ME?
Ej: [All] IN DELICIOUS DELICIOUS GOLD. BRB GETTING SUNFIRE CAPE
Ej: [All] There are words for how retarded this is.
Ej: [All] But humanity doesn't know them yet because we haven't encountered the Gibbering Fuckwits of Idiota Prime.
Ej: [All] A planet in the Retardulon Cluster. It is lit by the glow of a thousand trillion dying brain cells.
Teammate: Dude, you are making me laugh so hard my mother is telling me to shut up.
Ej: [All] YOUR MOM IS- WAIT GODDAMMIT.
Ej: [All] YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS?
Ej: [All] I'M SITTING HERE IN THIS BUSH WITH AN ORACLES ELIXER WATCHING TWO TEEMOS PLANT MUSHROOMS.
Ej: [All] AND THE SHAPE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE A COCK
*enemy Teemo fucking books it back to base terrified of a gank*
*Ej leaves the bush on the other side of the map*
Ej: [All] JUST FUCKING WITH YOU LITTLE BUDDY
*address enemy Wu-Kong who was actually halfways compentent*
Ej: [All] HEY WUKONG I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU SON. I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A FEEDER AIN'T
Ej: [All] -wait a second, fuck.
Ej: [All] LOOK GUYS. I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE. IN THE OPEN. DEFENSELESS. IGNORE MY AOE AURA
Ej: [All] ACTUALLY, IGNORE BOTH OF THEM. AND THE AOE DEBUFF. ITS NOT LIKE MY TEAMMATES ARE IN THE BUSHES
Ej: [All] OR LIKE I HAVE MY AOE STUN READY.
Ej: [All] TOTALLY OK TO GANK ME GUYS.
*a wild Twitch appears!*
Ej: [All] JESUS CHRIST YOU MUST BE BRAZILIAN
*Ej used Curse of the Sad Mummy!"
*Ej's team used FUCKING DOGPILE!*
Ej: [All] ITS SUPER FUCKING EFFECTIVE
Enemy team Teemo: Dude, just stop, I can't play the game properly, my sides hurt to hard from laughing.
Ej: [All] IT'S MY SUPER SECRET SPECIAL TACTICAL MANEUVER: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
Ej: [All] NOT WINNING MIND YOU. WE'RE CLEARLY NOT WINNING. BUT MAYBE BY THE END OF THIS I'LL BE COOL
Enemy Nasus: You mad bro?
Ej: [All] EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME?
Ej: [All] HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION?
Ej: [All] ARE YOU PERHAPS BLIND AS WELL AS FUCKING RETARDED?
Ej: [All] THAT WOULD ACCOUNT FOR HAVING 2 KILLS IN THIS FUCKING GOLDFISH-RICH WOODEN CYLINDRICAL ENCLOSURE
Ej: [All] HAVE YOU SOMEHOW MISSED THE ALL CAPS?
Ej: [All] AND MY UNCEASING TORRENT OF BLASPHEMY AND EXPLETIVES?
Ej: [All] SON I HAVE GONE BEYOND MAD, PASSED GO, COLLECTED 200 GOLD OFF YOUR DUMB ASS AND LANDED STRAIGHT IN
Ej: [All] just chillin out, maxin
Ej: [All] and relaxin all cool
Ej: [All] HEY I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS IN A WHILE, ARE YOU BARONING? I THINK YOU'RE BARONING
*triple kill*
Ej: [All] YEEEEEAAAAP.
*2 minutes later*
*entire enemy team dead, one to a fucking neutral creep*
Ej: [All] RIGHT, THAT'S IT, IM REPORTING EVERY LAST ONE OF US AS AN UNSKILLED PLAYER
Ej: [All] EXCEPT YOU YI, YOU GET INTENTIONAL FEEDING
Ej: [All] AND YOU TWITCH. YOU'RE FUCKING BRAZILIAN - HAVE THEY GOT A REPORT OPTION FOR THAT YET?
Ej: [All] IF YOU ALL WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO REPORT ME FOR VERBAL ABUSE, I WILL CONTINUE MY UNCEASING, CAUSTIC-FUELED VERBAL ASSAULT ON YOUR RETINAS
Ej: [All] HOLY HELL I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO USE THOSE WORDS IN THAT CONTEXT
tl;dr a game so bad the players tried to get themselves banned.
AND THEN WE HAD A DANCE PARTY IN OUR BASE AS CREEPS DESTROYED OUR NEXUS AT 39:50
GG FUCKERS I HOPE I'M BANNED FOR A WEEK