Anyone but Jaaaaaames!

[emptyyourself]

[Hastily scrawled in that familiar handwriting of his, because he is clearly not thinking straight enough at the moment to make this a private conversation:]

Devlin, is this your idea of a joke? I sign your contract and the next day you bring that arrogant swine here?

...

How lucky for me I have my wand, wouldn't you agree?

Comments

[sirjamesithy]

Wait.

Do I know you?

I could guess, but I might be wrong.

And you got your wand? I'm going with 'no fair!'

[emptyyourself]

Why don't you exercise what little intellect you have and guess?

[sirjamesithy]

Sni-- err.. Severus?

Is that you?

[emptyyourself]

Oh, well done. That must have been exhausting for your mental facilities.

[sirjamesithy]

[Its surprising how excited I am to 'see' a familiar face.]

Nah, I think my brain can handle a few more like that! So what are you up to Severus? How is this weird place treating you? And do they have butterbeer?

[emptyyourself]

[Screeching halt.]

...What?

[sirjamesithy]

[And he said my brain was being taxed...]

I'm a new guy here, Severus, just trying to get the lay of the land...

So, do they have butterbeer? Or if what that guy said about us all being fabricated for someone else's fun is true... did they not fill you in on butterbeer?

[emptyyourself]

You -

You're imprisoned in a rural Muggle town rife with demons and mind-altering phenomena and you're concerned about butterbeer?!

[sirjamesithy]

Ah see, I didn't know about demons and mind-altering phenomena. Thanks!

This place might be more interesting than watching Merlin's beard grown.

But, didn't anyone ever tell you its the small things in life that matter?

[Like butterbeer...I'm starting to really get thirsty...]

[emptyyourself]

[Just. What.]

Clearly, you don't need me to kill you. You'll manage well enough on your own.

[sirjamesithy]

[Sirius would probably die if he saw this, me being all friendly with Snape. Remus would be proud though. Good ol' Moony. But really, what am I supposed to do? What if he goes away and I am *alone* again?]

Uh...wasn't looking for applicants for that position. I like being alive, quite a bit.

So anyone else we know here? Dumbledore? Sirius? Lily?

[emptyyourself]

She's not with you?

No. No one else.

[sirjamesithy]

[I'm suddenly feeling really depressed.]

Oh.

How did you manage when you first got here, then?

[emptyyourself]

How did I manage what, exactly? To survive without butterbeer?

[sirjamesithy]

Yes, Sni--Sna--Severus.

Butterbeer, familiar objects, places, people.

How did you manage to survive in this presumable wasteland? With mind altering and demons? And who knows what else that I haven't been told about!

I have no wand, no snitch, no friends. I'm surprised I was given my glasses. I'm sure it would have been really funny to see James Potter bumping around into Merlin knows what.

How did you survive?

Its not like we've even graduated Hogwarts yet...

[emptyyourself]

[Long pause.]

I am thirty-eight years old, Potter, and more formidable a wizard than you will ever be.

[...No insult intended. No, really. You're dead.]