Extracurricular Activities: Teams
It has come to the attention of the Student and Staff Organization Committee (SSOC), yet again, that not all members of the student body and faculty have declared their undying allegiance to a team. Several teams have been presented, and membership in those teams is limited. (I believe openings in Team Edward have all been filled.) But, do not despair. SSOC presents: the final teams.
Team Emmett
It's not just for jocks anymore! Join this team, or don't. You know. Whatever. But Team Emmett is fun, and there is never a day that goes by that doesn't include a totally awesome football game. Or baseball. Or basketball. Or judo. Or arm wrestling. Or boulder crushing. An appreciation of high-maintenance but gorgeous girlfriends and hard-boiled eggs a plus.
Purpose: To try as hard as we can to keep Team Edward from becoming fatally chagrined by his love of some plain girl, mainly through participation in group sporting events. Team Emmett will not tolerate sissy things like playing piano, reading, protecting virtue, or taking care of a freaky baby. But, the team will help you kill things--pretty much anything that Team Rosalie will let us kill.
Team Jasper
Oh, did you hear that swoon? That was Team Jasper. This team is a small but growing group of emotionally stable and seriously starry-eyed Jasper appreciators. (They leave the scream-inducing love to Teams Edward and Jacob.) You probably already want to join. If not for the cowboy boots and Confederate soldier backstory, then for the calm and peaceful feeling you get when you are with the team.
Purpose: Team Jasper is committed to helping you keep your shit together, even if you are being chased by a vampire who wants to videotape you to death. This team will help you, but it is having a hard time not killing you. All members are encouraged not to bleed, if at all possible. Avoiding parties full of glass and crystal plates when you are prone to ridiculously falling while standing still is a good start.
Team Eric Yorkie
So far, participation in this team has been limited, to put it nicely. Most of the other teams ignore or openly mock Team Yorkie, despite its clearly charming members. Team Yorkie likes playing chess, following around new girls at school, and wearing top hats to the prom. So often overlooked, this is the team for the antiestablishment.
Purpose: Team Eric Yorkie is the national corps of outstanding Forks High School students and their fans, all of whom are committed to being average. This team is devoted to the recognition of the ones overlooked and left behind. Members of Team Eric Yorkie are not often in the center of attention, but maybe they should be. You never hear about Team Yorkie breaking into a girl's room and watching her sleep.
Team Emmett
It's not just for jocks anymore! Join this team, or don't. You know. Whatever. But Team Emmett is fun, and there is never a day that goes by that doesn't include a totally awesome football game. Or baseball. Or basketball. Or judo. Or arm wrestling. Or boulder crushing. An appreciation of high-maintenance but gorgeous girlfriends and hard-boiled eggs a plus.
Purpose: To try as hard as we can to keep Team Edward from becoming fatally chagrined by his love of some plain girl, mainly through participation in group sporting events. Team Emmett will not tolerate sissy things like playing piano, reading, protecting virtue, or taking care of a freaky baby. But, the team will help you kill things--pretty much anything that Team Rosalie will let us kill.
Team Jasper
Oh, did you hear that swoon? That was Team Jasper. This team is a small but growing group of emotionally stable and seriously starry-eyed Jasper appreciators. (They leave the scream-inducing love to Teams Edward and Jacob.) You probably already want to join. If not for the cowboy boots and Confederate soldier backstory, then for the calm and peaceful feeling you get when you are with the team.
Purpose: Team Jasper is committed to helping you keep your shit together, even if you are being chased by a vampire who wants to videotape you to death. This team will help you, but it is having a hard time not killing you. All members are encouraged not to bleed, if at all possible. Avoiding parties full of glass and crystal plates when you are prone to ridiculously falling while standing still is a good start.
Team Eric Yorkie
So far, participation in this team has been limited, to put it nicely. Most of the other teams ignore or openly mock Team Yorkie, despite its clearly charming members. Team Yorkie likes playing chess, following around new girls at school, and wearing top hats to the prom. So often overlooked, this is the team for the antiestablishment.
Purpose: Team Eric Yorkie is the national corps of outstanding Forks High School students and their fans, all of whom are committed to being average. This team is devoted to the recognition of the ones overlooked and left behind. Members of Team Eric Yorkie are not often in the center of attention, but maybe they should be. You never hear about Team Yorkie breaking into a girl's room and watching her sleep.