The Alice Conundrum....
So... ever since Eclipse I've had a bit of a problem with Alice. I'm just trying to figure out how to start up my train of thoughts.
I guess it begins with how much I relate to Bella. I've not necessarily been the "outcast" or whatever, but I knew I was different from my friends and they knew it too. I had people telling me from the time I was 13 that I acted more like an adult than any teenager they knew. Everyone gave me my space and let me be as emo as I wanted to be or as happy/hyper I wanted to be.
Of course, if you placed my life against Bella's there would be significant differences, but I recognized a soul that was a close match to mine. And I was SO excited to be reading about a fictional character that could have been tailored inspire me. And she had a thing for vampires.... her's climbed through windows, while mine lurked in the pages of my favorite books, but you know, whatever.
With that in mind, I was with Bella all the way up to when Alice had premonitions about a Vegas wedding. And then suddenly, Alice was using guilt trips and anything else she could to try to make things go her way.
I realized in those few pages that I have a much stronger personality and willpower than Bella. I could sit here myself, making excuses like:
-She was distracted by everything else that was going on at the time.
-She was feeling guilty about the looming hurt she was about to inflict on Jake.
-Or another option I haven't thought of.
But seriously, I'm not even appalled that it was Bella's wedding she was being pushy about. Just that she was being pushy at all. I'm not necessarily pushy, I would say. Rather that I won't push unless I'm pushed first. That's always been the case with me.
If Alice had acted all pouty and finicky with me, like she had with Bella, I probably would have just ignored her. And if I understand Alice, she might have actually brought it up, after a few hours of silence from me, then I probably still would have told her 'no'.
I imagine that Bella was looking into the future, without premonitions, and seeing that Alice would probably bug her about it day and night, but had it been me, I would have stood firm.
I know that Alice cares about her family. I've seen it in the multiple times she's laid her own wants aside to do things for the family. She seems to be doing it for selfish reasons, though, and I can't condone that. It's almost like she's telling Bella "I know how to run your life better than you do, so just hand it over to me and everything will be fine."
Not. Kosher.
And I hope you see my conundrum. Because I felt a real connection with Bella (as so many do) and to have her react time and again in a way that would possibly mirror my own reaction, then all the sudden wave a white flag when I would have soldiered on. It was a real smack in the face.
So maybe it was as much Bella's fault for being week as it was Alice's fault for using her status with Bella to get what she wants. It still continues to rub me the wrong way... that Alice would basically extort her friendship--almost siblingship--with Bella in order to plan a wedding.
Maybe someday, I'll blog about the whole wedding thing.
I guess it begins with how much I relate to Bella. I've not necessarily been the "outcast" or whatever, but I knew I was different from my friends and they knew it too. I had people telling me from the time I was 13 that I acted more like an adult than any teenager they knew. Everyone gave me my space and let me be as emo as I wanted to be or as happy/hyper I wanted to be.
Of course, if you placed my life against Bella's there would be significant differences, but I recognized a soul that was a close match to mine. And I was SO excited to be reading about a fictional character that could have been tailored inspire me. And she had a thing for vampires.... her's climbed through windows, while mine lurked in the pages of my favorite books, but you know, whatever.
With that in mind, I was with Bella all the way up to when Alice had premonitions about a Vegas wedding. And then suddenly, Alice was using guilt trips and anything else she could to try to make things go her way.
I realized in those few pages that I have a much stronger personality and willpower than Bella. I could sit here myself, making excuses like:
-She was distracted by everything else that was going on at the time.
-She was feeling guilty about the looming hurt she was about to inflict on Jake.
-Or another option I haven't thought of.
But seriously, I'm not even appalled that it was Bella's wedding she was being pushy about. Just that she was being pushy at all. I'm not necessarily pushy, I would say. Rather that I won't push unless I'm pushed first. That's always been the case with me.
If Alice had acted all pouty and finicky with me, like she had with Bella, I probably would have just ignored her. And if I understand Alice, she might have actually brought it up, after a few hours of silence from me, then I probably still would have told her 'no'.
I imagine that Bella was looking into the future, without premonitions, and seeing that Alice would probably bug her about it day and night, but had it been me, I would have stood firm.
I know that Alice cares about her family. I've seen it in the multiple times she's laid her own wants aside to do things for the family. She seems to be doing it for selfish reasons, though, and I can't condone that. It's almost like she's telling Bella "I know how to run your life better than you do, so just hand it over to me and everything will be fine."
Not. Kosher.
And I hope you see my conundrum. Because I felt a real connection with Bella (as so many do) and to have her react time and again in a way that would possibly mirror my own reaction, then all the sudden wave a white flag when I would have soldiered on. It was a real smack in the face.
So maybe it was as much Bella's fault for being week as it was Alice's fault for using her status with Bella to get what she wants. It still continues to rub me the wrong way... that Alice would basically extort her friendship--almost siblingship--with Bella in order to plan a wedding.
Maybe someday, I'll blog about the whole wedding thing.