Oh... my brain...
So Edward and I have another conversation today... well.. ok... it was more than just him and me. I got Bella and Rosalie in on it to.
*I storm into the room*
Me: WHY ON EARTH IS THIS WORLD OBSESSED WITH BRUNETTES?!?
*I then notice Edward sitting at the grand piano in the middle of the room.*
Edward: Is there something you'd like to share with the class?
Me: Sorry.
Edward: You have a problem with Bella?
Me: No.
*still kind of fuming*
Edward: You have a problem with... Esme?
Me: What?
Edward: She's a brunette.
*silence on my end*
Edward: You know... generally I wouldn't care about a human's thoughts. I mean, most of the time I can hear them... except apparently when I'm inside them. *slight smile from me* But not knowing why you're storming around is a little frustrating. And it's keeping me from writing Bella a new power ballad. So you're going to have to share.
Me: *irritated sigh* Fine. I keep running into different forms of media where the damsel in distress or the chick who gets the guy is a brunette. Have you noticed lately? I'm a blonde. Or am I just as much on your radar as Rosalie?
Edward: It's difficult for you not to be on my radar. Especially when you're in my practice room.
Me: This isn't your practice room.
Edward: You are the one that put me in here.
Me: Anyways... I mean, it's not like if I dyed Bella's hair you'd hate her, right?
Edward: Leah... I'm pretty sure I don't want you to go where you're going.
Me: I'm just saying... it's not her hair color that's got you all... lovestoned. It's Bella. It's what she holds for you. Her heart. Her mind. Her spirit.
Edward: You wouldn't....
Me: What? Dye her hair blonde?
Edward: Yes.
Me: No-- I mean... I've imagined it.. *I blush and Edward slants a glare at me* but I would never. Alice would kill me.
Edward: And I wouldn't?
Me: I know I have a ice cube's chance in hell to even get close enough to her to throw the dye job's box anyways.
*At this very moment Bella walks in*
Bella: Hey guys. Wait... what am I doing in...
Edward: Leah's..
Bella: What am I doing in Leah's head?
Edward: I have no clue, but I'm glad you're here.
Bella: Why?
Edward: Because then I know Leah isn't off somewhere dying your hair blonde.
Bella: What, love, are you talking about? *she saunters over and plops down beside Edward on the piano bench*
Me: This is my rant here!
Edward: Sorry. Continue.
Me: What I'm trying to say is that the hair color doesn't make much of a difference, right?
Bella: Hey! I thought you said you preferred brunettes!
Edward: *turns to Bella* I do. What Leah is trying to say is that you could have green hair and I'd still love you. *turns back to me* Right?
Me: Right. So why is it that this particular generation has put a huge emphasis on brunettes?
Edward: Have you considered the last generation? They're blonde crazed. Maybe the brunettes weren't excited about it, so they did something about it. They decided they would situate themselves in a way that would give them a huge impact on media of this generation. They're giving brunettes a good rep.
Me: What's Stephenie Meyer's excuse?
Bella: Brunette complex?
Edward: Dream's influence.
Me: And you've actually seen the dream?
Edward: We're getting off the subject. You're unhappy because you're surrounded by brunette happy productions, correct?
Me: Yes, and the "bad guy" is always a blonde. Hello. Even Lauren is blonde.
Edward: Rosalie's blonde.
Me: But isn't she, kind of, a bad guy?
Edward: I don't think so. I mean, she can be a bit--what was the word I used? *looks at Bella*
Bella: Tenacious.
Edward: Yes, that's it. But she's just worried about the whole family. I'm a little... selfish and one track-minded. *he glances at Bella and gives her a smile that makes my knees weak. I grumble under my breath while Bella and Edward make kissy faces at each other*
Me: SO.. *they break it up* what you're trying to tell me is that I should get over myself?
Edward: I have a feeling telling you to get over yourself would be like telling Rosalie that.
Me: I'm slightly offended by that comment.
Edward: But you know it's true.
Me: Yep.
Edward: Maybe all blondes are tenacious.
Me: I think I need blonde reinforcements.
*in walks Rosalie*
Rosalie: Is there a reason I'm in this room? Edward, seriously, can you not keep your fan girls at bay?
Edward: I don't do mind control, Rosalie. Just mind reading. And Leah's... not so much a fan girl. Fan girls are like... teenagers... who scream a lot when I come into the room.
Rosalie: If you say so. What am I doing here anyways? *she looks around the room disinterestedly and makes a face when she spots Bella.*
Me: I... uhm... need blonde reinforcements. *I'm suddenly feeling a little insecure next to the blonde vampire. sigh* We're talking about how the media is flooded with a series of brunettes heroines.
Rosalie: What does that have to do with me?
Me: You're... a.... blonde?
Rosalie: Yeah, but I'm not from this generation. Technically, you're on the precipice of the youth of today, yourself. I mean-- sure you're what? twenty something--with those crinkles around your eyes and your hair up in a bun you look almost thirty by the way-- but there's a whole three or four years of kids that are younger than you. You've got a gap between the teens. Shouldn't you be growing up and paying attention to the news more than entertainment?
Me: That's... way too sensible.
Edward: I didn't say she couldn't be sensible.
Me: Good grief.
Edward: So you aren't going to try to dye Bella's hair blonde?
Bella: WHAT? *looks between Edward and me* Is that what you were talking about?
Me: No.
Rosalie: Can I go? I'm supposed to be chasing down Emmett.
Me: Sure. *I lift a shoulder and she's gone in a flash*
Edward: The best way to deal with your problem is to find your own adventure. Somehow, I think that your curly blonde hair will catch someone's eye... if that's what you've been getting at.
Bella: I just hope you have better luck than me. I mean... look what my luck has done. I'm slumming with vampires.
Me: And you love every one of them.
Bella: Even Rosalie... *she nods*
Me: Alright. Well... if you run into any twenty-something looking, vegan vamp from your era, Edward, send him my way. It would be rad if he was blonde.
Edward: You know I won't. For your own protection, of course.
Me: You are absolutely no fun.
Edward: Of course not.
Bella: You like blonde vampires? Have you met Jasper?
Me: Yes. But he treats me like he treats you. With distance.
Bella: Oh yeah. The human thing, huh? That'll happen.
Me: Alright. I think I need you out of my brain. Please feel free to exit. Go frolic in the meadow or something.
*Edward and Bella exit*
*I storm into the room*
Me: WHY ON EARTH IS THIS WORLD OBSESSED WITH BRUNETTES?!?
*I then notice Edward sitting at the grand piano in the middle of the room.*
Edward: Is there something you'd like to share with the class?
Me: Sorry.
Edward: You have a problem with Bella?
Me: No.
*still kind of fuming*
Edward: You have a problem with... Esme?
Me: What?
Edward: She's a brunette.
*silence on my end*
Edward: You know... generally I wouldn't care about a human's thoughts. I mean, most of the time I can hear them... except apparently when I'm inside them. *slight smile from me* But not knowing why you're storming around is a little frustrating. And it's keeping me from writing Bella a new power ballad. So you're going to have to share.
Me: *irritated sigh* Fine. I keep running into different forms of media where the damsel in distress or the chick who gets the guy is a brunette. Have you noticed lately? I'm a blonde. Or am I just as much on your radar as Rosalie?
Edward: It's difficult for you not to be on my radar. Especially when you're in my practice room.
Me: This isn't your practice room.
Edward: You are the one that put me in here.
Me: Anyways... I mean, it's not like if I dyed Bella's hair you'd hate her, right?
Edward: Leah... I'm pretty sure I don't want you to go where you're going.
Me: I'm just saying... it's not her hair color that's got you all... lovestoned. It's Bella. It's what she holds for you. Her heart. Her mind. Her spirit.
Edward: You wouldn't....
Me: What? Dye her hair blonde?
Edward: Yes.
Me: No-- I mean... I've imagined it.. *I blush and Edward slants a glare at me* but I would never. Alice would kill me.
Edward: And I wouldn't?
Me: I know I have a ice cube's chance in hell to even get close enough to her to throw the dye job's box anyways.
*At this very moment Bella walks in*
Bella: Hey guys. Wait... what am I doing in...
Edward: Leah's..
Bella: What am I doing in Leah's head?
Edward: I have no clue, but I'm glad you're here.
Bella: Why?
Edward: Because then I know Leah isn't off somewhere dying your hair blonde.
Bella: What, love, are you talking about? *she saunters over and plops down beside Edward on the piano bench*
Me: This is my rant here!
Edward: Sorry. Continue.
Me: What I'm trying to say is that the hair color doesn't make much of a difference, right?
Bella: Hey! I thought you said you preferred brunettes!
Edward: *turns to Bella* I do. What Leah is trying to say is that you could have green hair and I'd still love you. *turns back to me* Right?
Me: Right. So why is it that this particular generation has put a huge emphasis on brunettes?
Edward: Have you considered the last generation? They're blonde crazed. Maybe the brunettes weren't excited about it, so they did something about it. They decided they would situate themselves in a way that would give them a huge impact on media of this generation. They're giving brunettes a good rep.
Me: What's Stephenie Meyer's excuse?
Bella: Brunette complex?
Edward: Dream's influence.
Me: And you've actually seen the dream?
Edward: We're getting off the subject. You're unhappy because you're surrounded by brunette happy productions, correct?
Me: Yes, and the "bad guy" is always a blonde. Hello. Even Lauren is blonde.
Edward: Rosalie's blonde.
Me: But isn't she, kind of, a bad guy?
Edward: I don't think so. I mean, she can be a bit--what was the word I used? *looks at Bella*
Bella: Tenacious.
Edward: Yes, that's it. But she's just worried about the whole family. I'm a little... selfish and one track-minded. *he glances at Bella and gives her a smile that makes my knees weak. I grumble under my breath while Bella and Edward make kissy faces at each other*
Me: SO.. *they break it up* what you're trying to tell me is that I should get over myself?
Edward: I have a feeling telling you to get over yourself would be like telling Rosalie that.
Me: I'm slightly offended by that comment.
Edward: But you know it's true.
Me: Yep.
Edward: Maybe all blondes are tenacious.
Me: I think I need blonde reinforcements.
*in walks Rosalie*
Rosalie: Is there a reason I'm in this room? Edward, seriously, can you not keep your fan girls at bay?
Edward: I don't do mind control, Rosalie. Just mind reading. And Leah's... not so much a fan girl. Fan girls are like... teenagers... who scream a lot when I come into the room.
Rosalie: If you say so. What am I doing here anyways? *she looks around the room disinterestedly and makes a face when she spots Bella.*
Me: I... uhm... need blonde reinforcements. *I'm suddenly feeling a little insecure next to the blonde vampire. sigh* We're talking about how the media is flooded with a series of brunettes heroines.
Rosalie: What does that have to do with me?
Me: You're... a.... blonde?
Rosalie: Yeah, but I'm not from this generation. Technically, you're on the precipice of the youth of today, yourself. I mean-- sure you're what? twenty something--with those crinkles around your eyes and your hair up in a bun you look almost thirty by the way-- but there's a whole three or four years of kids that are younger than you. You've got a gap between the teens. Shouldn't you be growing up and paying attention to the news more than entertainment?
Me: That's... way too sensible.
Edward: I didn't say she couldn't be sensible.
Me: Good grief.
Edward: So you aren't going to try to dye Bella's hair blonde?
Bella: WHAT? *looks between Edward and me* Is that what you were talking about?
Me: No.
Rosalie: Can I go? I'm supposed to be chasing down Emmett.
Me: Sure. *I lift a shoulder and she's gone in a flash*
Edward: The best way to deal with your problem is to find your own adventure. Somehow, I think that your curly blonde hair will catch someone's eye... if that's what you've been getting at.
Bella: I just hope you have better luck than me. I mean... look what my luck has done. I'm slumming with vampires.
Me: And you love every one of them.
Bella: Even Rosalie... *she nods*
Me: Alright. Well... if you run into any twenty-something looking, vegan vamp from your era, Edward, send him my way. It would be rad if he was blonde.
Edward: You know I won't. For your own protection, of course.
Me: You are absolutely no fun.
Edward: Of course not.
Bella: You like blonde vampires? Have you met Jasper?
Me: Yes. But he treats me like he treats you. With distance.
Bella: Oh yeah. The human thing, huh? That'll happen.
Me: Alright. I think I need you out of my brain. Please feel free to exit. Go frolic in the meadow or something.
*Edward and Bella exit*