Boardwalk Empire Fic: "Sanctuary" 3/3 Part B (Jimmy/Richard)-R
Title: Sanctuary
Fandom: Boardwalk Empire
Word Count: 5,098
Rating: R for language and violence
Characters/Pairings: Jimmy/Richard with appearances of Nucky, Margaret, Angela, Nan and the children.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything BE wise.
Summary: Takes place directly after the events of episode 12: "A Return to Normalcy".
Switches back and forth from Jimmy and Richard's POV.
Nan Britton, President Harding's mistress, has gone missing-having fled with Margaret's children. Nucky sends his two hitmen on a mission to find them and bring them back.
This story chronicles the two ex soldiers working alongside each other intimately, getting to know each other and seeking refuge in the other as they struggle to escape their pasts, map their futures and search for the woman but both of them secretly hoping they don't find her and that the seach and working together can continue forever.
Slow building Jimmy/Richard because I love buildup, angst and "non easy relationships".
In this part: The stunning conclusion of the mission Jimmy and Richard were sent on. The two men find where Nan Britton and the children are held and the fight to save everyone's lives ensues...
We're sadly at the end. It's been a marvelous journey and I want to thank you all for taking it with me. It was a first of a lot of things: My first Jimmy/Richard, the first for livejournal, for fanfiction.net and maybe for the fandom as a whole (though I can't be too sure of the last one). I felt pressure and stress at times to do them justice. As everyone knows they aren't easy people and I didn't think they're relationship should be "easy" either.
I want to thank you all again for your support. The BE fandom has been really great. Please enjoy the last chapter and as always please don't forget to comment! :)
Part 3 B: “When my gaze comes down my heart stays up.”
The world holds its breath and is quiet save for the distant sound of a fire burning. His mare’s breath is flaring out in heavy gusts as they travel down the endless deserted road. There’s nothing but endless fields around them and flat land. Richard thinks he misses the ocean however murky and tumultuous it would be and the things he was thinking were familiar by the boardwalk. Richard thinks it’s safer they stick to the woods and avoid the road so they lead their mares to the forest. Jimmy trails weakly behind him, not experienced with a horse. He hears him struggle. He’s also yelling at the hostage, asking him what direction they came from and where they’re holding Ms. Britton and the children. Richard picks up on some of it but he’s a little too far away and he wants to be even further away. No amount of running is going to get me far away enough.
He should stop and wait up for Jimmy or help him question the hostage but quick glances over his shoulder tell Richard that Jimmy is handling himself well enough and he knows that this is Jimmy’s way of dealing with it all. Jimmy externalizes and Richard internalizes. They pass through the thinning forest. The trees are thick with heavy snow covering every surface. Snow is crushed and kicked up by the mare’s hooves, crunching as they pass and there’s nothing but white for miles.
Jimmy whistles something absentmindedly after a while as he often does when he gets bored. They’ve traveled a distance, the sun shifting in the sky to its highest point and it makes Richard squint as the snow is too dazzling in the bright sun. The woods thin out and they change course to travel by road again, confident that they shook their pursuers. Richard slows when he sees it. He stops altogether when he’s upon it. Jimmy comes to a rough stop behind him, having a little trouble with the reigns. It’s a welcome sign to New York. Richard turns his mare so he’s facing Jimmy. They stare at each other for a while, watching their heavy breath puff out in front of them. Jimmy is the first to break.
“Why are we stopping?”
Richard turns his attention to the New York sign. His head is full of brambles and his heart is like a stone that’s been swallowed up by the ocean. He wants to forget everything. He wants to keep traveling through New York and beyond. They could ditch the hostage and forget everything. They could travel up to Canada and start some new life never looking back. It would be very easy to slip away and start somewhere new where no one knew them like when they lived with Zofia. Richard closes his eye. He feels the mare move a little beneath him, shaking her head and feels a cold wind across his face. He opens his eye and looks over his shoulder to the open endless road behind them; snow whipping across it like little waves and it’s hard for Richard to get the words out like they’re stuck in his throat.
“I want you to go back. Hmph,” he gestures to the hostage that’s tied up and gagged once more sitting behind Jimmy on his mare. “Hmm. Leave him with me. Just go.” Jimmy squints at him, the afternoon sun lighting up his pale features, his pupils tiny and swallowed up in his big blue eyes. “What?” Jimmy barks out in disbelief, his eyes hard. Richard sidles up right along Jimmy, his mare trotting. “I made a promise to hmm Mr. Thompson and I intend on keeping it. I can go the rest of the way myself. Hmph.” The two men stare each other down and Jimmy’s eyes are impossibly cold like blue steel. Jimmy turns his head and spits on the ground.
He meets Richard’s eye a heartbeat later and is face is hard, his body equally as rigid leaning forward in his saddle. “I don’t know what kind of promise you made to Nucky but it doesn’t matter because I’m not leaving,” his eyes challenge Richard and they stare each other down again.
“Jim…”
“Don’t start with me,” Jimmy snaps, his face reddening with anger. “You didn’t kill her. I know you feel guilty but it isn’t your fault. If you don’t want more lives to be lost then we need to work together. You need me. You can’t do this on your own!” he’s huffing and puffing, his throat and face flushed but his cheek is twitching and his shoulders are sagging a little as he shifts uncomfortably in the saddle. Richard knows he’s tired. He’s come to understand Jimmy Darmody and his body language very well like learning a secret language.
Richard shakes his head; it feeling impossibly heavy like it’s too much weight for his neck. “Hmph. You don’t understand. It’s not their lives I’m worried about,” he averts his eyes looking behind them again, suddenly very interested with the ground and he feels a little heat rush at his face.
“That’s touching and everything but I’m not some pet you need to look after,” pure sarcasm dripping from his words. “I’m not like your rifle or your precious dog tags,” Jimmy whips them from underneath his jacket. They make a tinkering sound as they bounce off each other. Jimmy’s chest is heaving, breathing hard, the vein in his forehead pulsing. “I don’t need you to protect me. But if you don’t want her death to be in vain then we need to stop wasting time with this hero shit and keep moving,” Jimmy squeezes the mare’s sides with his legs imitating Richard with a clicking sound to get his mare to move like he’s getting the hang of it and then he’s trotting past Richard. Richard stares stupidly after him. He urges his own mare to move glancing behind him once more to the road and forest they just traveled. Richard knows he won’t be coming back. Jimmy might insist on coming with but Richard is not coming back. One way or the other Richard will get his wish.
* * *
Jimmy had forced enough information out of the somewhat cooperative and somewhat conscious hostage to find out that Ms. Britton and the children are being held in Stanten Island. Jimmy tries to get more information out of the man but he goes unconscious-a product of fear, exhaustion and Jimmy beating the shit out of him any chance he gets. Richard had seen it enough in the war to recognize the signs. Again Richard feels he should intervene, should stop Jimmy as they need the information but Richard’s shaken, raked with guilt and his priorities are skewed. He knew damn well what his mission was but after him and Jimmy had crossed a line, getting caught up in something more than just professionalism or friendship, leading the men straight to Zofia and getting her killed the lines got blurred. He couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else getting harmed and killed. Jimmy had already gotten shot defending him. He wasn’t going to let anyone else take it. It was all his now.
They travel a little further. Jimmy’s taking the lead this time even though it irks Richard as the younger man doesn’t have the keenest sense of direction and doesn’t know where he’s going but Richard knows they’re close. He grew up in New York and remembered taking the ferry to Stanten Island with his sister and parents when he was younger. Through all this, through the guilt that fogged his brain, the desire to leave Jimmy and go off on his own Richard had almost forgotten he was back in his home territory. The realization stuns him and he falters on the horse. Thankfully she was treading at a slow pace and Richard gains enough wits to right himself in the saddle before he falls out. He knows also that their horses need to rest. They needed to stop and regroup, wait for the hostage to wake up to be able to question him further and cross the Bay to Stanten Island.
The thick smell of salt is on the air as it whips through their hair and his mind drifts to times when his sister and him would wade in to the ocean. The salt was so thick on the air it seemed to crystallize on their lips and eyelashes. They would smile and laugh as they chased the tide. They would clasp hands and hop around on the sand as it sucked at their feet. They would giggle as sand found its way in-between their tiny toes.
“Richie, let’s find sand dollars!” Julia was always making up games for them, leading Richard into wherever her playful and creative mind went and Richard always followed. He loved to see her smile. He felt too connected to her not to want to make her happy as she did for him. Richard followed her around dutifully trying to find sand dollars but Julia was better at it than him. She had them piled in her shirt that she used like a pocket. She teased him when Richard only found a couple.
“You should respect your older brother. You may be quicker but I am older…” She rolls her beautiful brown eyes at him, so much like his. Her black curls bounce around her face as she shakes her head. “By three minutes!” she interrupts. “I’ll never let that down,” she shoves at him playfully and then they’re off to the next game, the next adventure and Richard feels never happier.
His mare troddens over earth where Richard used to live, his stomping grounds, places he used to visit with his family but they were gone too.
“Richie, we’ll always be together. Right? You and me?”
Richard closes his eye, trying to desperately push out the memories of not coming home after his accident in the war, not coming home to her, his sister and his twin. But he was home now.
“We were born together does that mean we’ll die together too?”
Richard hid from her, hid from his family after his accident, too afraid of how they would react. He didn’t want Julia to cringe, to look upon her twin’s face and see a monster, see a character out of the books she always read. He wanted her to see him. He didn’t want her pity he wanted her to smile like she always did.
“We’ll always be together. Just you and me.”
He was home and it would stay that way. One way or the other he knew he wasn’t going back to New Jersey.
I don’t think we’ll be together much longer…And he isn’t sure if he’s directing the thought towards Jimmy or his sister.
He shouts after Jimmy to slow down. Jimmy does after a time still looking petulant and tired. Richard takes the lead. He leads them to a small, nearby wood he had remembered from his youth. It’s a place him and Julia may have gone to and played in but he isn’t too sure. He pushes thoughts of his sister out of his mind. Jimmy shoots him these looks and although they still look smoldering there’s concern and a question there too. Richard hopes Jimmy doesn’t ask him how he knows the area so well. He doesn’t want to delve into it with him.
The sun is setting, dipping behind heavy clouds bruising the sky with purples and reds. They go as deep in the wood to keep secluded and hidden until Richard is satisfied. They make camp. Their hostage is still tied and gagged as he lies on a blanket, his eyes closed. Richard almost wishes that he wasn’t. He wants other sounds besides the shimmering of light snow across the earth by the wind. It makes a curious scurrying sound like blowing salt from across a piece of paper. The bare branches of trees are swaying slightly and rattling against each other. The world is too still in winter Richard thinks and he doesn’t want to be alone with him. He wants to go off on his own but he knows he can’t until they can question the hostage further.
It’s like their roles are reversed and Richard is the one that is fidgety, anxious and can’t keep still. He paces their small camp area leaving heavy tracks in the snow and he feels Jimmy’s eyes on him like they’re boring holes. He feels the weight of his gaze but Richard already feels heavy and saturated like his footfalls are sinking into the frozen ground and with every step he’s lowered into his grave. Sometimes he thinks the only reason he keeps breathing is because of the need to kill. It’s so strong it almost outweighs the agony of guilt that twists inside him. The two emotions are like two ribbons intertwining and running over everything inside him like a candy stripe. The ribbons pull and constrict everything. He feels like he can’t eat or sleep.
“You didn’t do this.”
He continues to pace and ignores Jimmy’s words but his legs get tired after a time and he sits down on the log next to the little fire. Jimmy limps over to him and sits right next to him on the small space, their hips brushing slightly and their long legs almost touching.
The fire spits and crackles throwing little shadows over everything. The night winter world seems more impossibly quiet and heavy then the day. Jimmy’s heavy gaze is still on him and Richard just wants him to stop. Though most of the anger and defiance Jimmy was emanating has subsided he still looks far too curious, full of concern and tired.
“Hmph. I want to tell you a story.” This seems to throw Jimmy off a bit, startling him which selfishly is what Richard wanted.
Jimmy lights a cigarette in preparation for the story and nods at Richard, his eyes too impossibly soft and warm now. Jimmy leans back a little, propping his elbow and resting his cheek into his fist. When Richard sees that he’s ready he clears his throat and starts where any story starts: the beginning.
“There was a story my father told me, hmph, once when I was a boy that I still carry around inside me now. Hmm.” Smoke and darkness seem to eat up Richard’s words and he takes a shaky breath. “There was a man once that lived long ago. Hmph. He was disgusted with the world, hungh, and what it had become. Hmm. He was so tired of it that he took his own life. He jumped from a very high place. Hmph. When he landed, hmm, his body burst into many pieces. His organs scattered, some going great distances because of how high up he was when he jumped. Hungh. It was tough work for the others to gather up his body, hmph, and to bury the man. Hmph. The work was so hard that they gave up and missed one piece of him. Hmm.”
Richard pauses to take in Jimmy’s reaction. The younger man is blinking widely at him through sleepy eyes, cigarette burning between his pale fingers, his attention totally on Richard. “What did they miss?” Jimmy takes a deep drag, his eyes reflecting firelight. Richard smiles weakly. “His eye. Hmph. They buried him deep in the ground with everything except his one eye. Hungh. The man became a ghost then hmm so consumed by hate with the people he was disgusted with missed his one vital piece. Hmph. The man, the ghost still wanders the earth to this day, hmm, still looking for that final piece and won’t give up until he finds it,” Richard rubs his hands together and rubs at his arms to try to rid himself of the new chill he feels. Jimmy tosses his cigarette into the fire and eyes Richard. “If he was so disgusted with the world why did he expect others to bury him or even try to find all the pieces of him?”
Richard shrugs, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I think the man hated himself truthfully. Hmph. He still needed others. Hmph. Because of that hate he has to walk the earth as a ghost. Hmm.”
Jimmy nods sleepily and unexpectedly leans against Richard and rests his head on his shoulder. “You’re not a ghost,” he winds his hands around Richard’s bicep and Richard is almost too stunned to move. “I’ll help you find the missing piece,” Jimmy yawns. Jimmy is warm against him and Richard’s heart throbs uncomfortably, his stomach doing somersaults. He looks at Jimmy but Jimmy’s eyes are closed, his pale eyelids fluttering, his body relaxing winded around him. Richard smiles in spite of himself and smoothes some hair out of Jimmy’s face. “Hmm. And I don’t hate the whole world,” he kisses Jimmy’s forehead, rests his head against his and blessedly feels sleep tug at him, something he hadn’t been able have in quite a while.
I still walk this world as a ghost but I don’t hate the whole world. Not you. He falls asleep.
* * *
Jimmy wakes stiff and cold the next morning. His neck and back ache from sleeping on the frosty ground. His bad leg is especially not agreeing with him and he’s hungry since they haven’t eaten since leaving Zofia’s house the morning before. They literally have nothing between the two of them except their guns and the clothes on their back.
Just like the war.
Despite everything, the external things weighing him down, internally he’s surprisingly calm. He still feels anger towards the hostage and what him and his men did to Zofia and concern towards Richard but it’s quieted. Jimmy notices Richard is still sleeping and Jimmy rebuilds the fire. He limps over to the bound hostage. Jimmy had tied him securely to a tree as he lay unconscious. The hostage’s head is bowed, his chin almost resting on his chest, eyes closed and Jimmy isn’t buying it. He had been around too many enemies faking things in the war to be fooled. Jimmy toes the hostage with his boot. When the hostage doesn’t stir he kicks at him hard and the hostage whelps, his head snapping up to meet Jimmy’s eyes.
Jimmy crouches down to his level. He removes the gag from the hostage’s mouth. Jimmy has his gun out and he plays with it, testing the weight of the Colt in his gloved hand looking about the small wood. The sun is just coming up over the horizon. Jimmy thinks this will be the last sunrise he may have with him and the thought makes him frown. He didn’t think they were too far from the ferry that could take them to Stanten Island. Their time was up. He releases a breathy shy. He wants to take care of this before Richard wakes. He didn’t want anything else bearing down on the other man’s already burdened conscience. Jimmy lights a cigarette and regards the waking world.
“Where are they?” Jimmy doesn’t leave any room for question or avoidance in his statement. The hostage was already babbling nonsense, swearing, spitting, bargaining but Jimmy ignored it all. The hostage comes up short at Jimmy’s question like it had physically rattled him. Jimmy enjoys his cigarette and waits for the hostage to answer. When Jimmy finally regards him the hostage is struggling pathetically at the restraints shooting Jimmy menacing looks.
“I don’t know…”
Jimmy gets right up in his face, crowding his space with a nasty sneer and shoves the barrel of his Colt at the man’s crotch. The hostage releases a high pitched wail, sweat beading at his brow.
“I think you do.”
The hostage continues to grunt in pain, shaking his head rapidly, avoiding Jimmy’s gaze. Jimmy exhales smoke directly into the hostage’s face and digs the gun painfully deeper into his balls, thumbing back the hammer.
“I really think you do.”
The hostage is sweating profusely now despite the frigid November air. His breath is labored and his eyes are tearing up in pain. He hisses and yelps when Jimmy shoves harder and flicks ash into his face. Jimmy feels his presence at his back. You bastard you woke him up. Jimmy wants to punish the hostage for this but he knows Richard doesn’t approve of all the methods Jimmy uses for interrogation, mainly taking his anger out on the hostage. Jimmy flicks his cigarette to the snow, stands from his crouched position with his Colt still aimed at the hostage’s crotch and Richard is standing next to him. Jimmy can literally feel the rolls of anxiety and stress coming from the other man like he’s wearing it on his clothes and the hostage is spilling everything. Richard whips out his moleskine and starts scribbling the information down as the hostage hastily divulges it. Jimmy feels a tiny surge of heat in his system upon seeing the familiar moleskine. He was glad it was something that wasn’t lost in the fire.
The hostage produces the exact location, some warehouse on a harbor but not the details of who he works for, who sent him or how many men Richard and Jimmy can expect when they get there. The hostage rests his battered head against the trunk of the tree, licks his cracked, split lips and laughs just like all the other pursuers Jimmy and Richard have encountered. The laugh enrages Jimmy and he feels his resolve snap. He can feel Richard’s hefty gaze on him as he rounds on the hostage yelling threats straight in his face, threatening to shoot one of his balls off, bring him back to consciousness and do it to the other. The hostage laughs until he’s in too much pain to laugh from the hard strikes he’s receiving across the face. It sobers him up quickly.
The hostage spits blood, staining the white snow and regards Jimmy with bruised eyes.
“Chester Isaiah.”
Jimmy furrows his eyebrows and shoots Richard a look. Richard is writing the name down and feels Jimmy’s eyes on him. He meets Jimmy’s puzzled look and Richard shrugs confirming that both men have no idea who Chester Isaiah is.
When Jimmy questions the hostage further he only tells them that’s the man he works for, sends them out and pulls all the strings. As for how many men are guarding the warehouse he swears he has no idea only guessing: “a lot.” When Jimmy tries to beat it out of him Richard puts a warm hand on his shoulder to stop him. Jimmy gags the hostage again and the two ex soldiers leave him to consult and plan. Richard is anything but himself. He’s on edge and fidgety, his eye darting all around and although Jimmy knows he got some sleep the other man still looks exhausted and haggard.
Jimmy’s already tried to tell Richard it wasn’t his fault as he knows he’s still wrought with grief but Richard doesn’t want to hear it or accept it. Richard is looking all around, shifting his weight on the balls of his feet. “Hey,” Jimmy says gently trying to get his attention. He places his hand on his arm to soothe him, to let him know he’s here in every sense of the term for as long as they still had left but Richard recoils from his touch. He regards Jimmy wide eyed, almost looking shocked that Jimmy would even think of laying a hand on him. Jimmy wants to be impatient and angry with him but finds he can’t. He knows Richard isn’t himself and he tables it. They have bigger things to deal with then how Richard is feeling. People’s lives were still at stake.
Jimmy was more a doer, always going in guns blazing, shooting first and asking questions later where Richard was a thinker, planning and analyzing things with great care which was why he was an excellent sharpshooter and rifleman. You needed to be able to execute great precision and patience. Jimmy looked to Richard to see the smaller details and work the angles but Richard is evasive and Jimmy literally has to force him to cooperate and speak. He’s able to get him to focus after a time and they formulate a plan. They’ll leave at night to give them the advantage of the dark’s camouflage. Jimmy had argued that they could use the hostage as a bargaining chip, to use him to trade for the mistress and children but Richard shoots the idea down saying the hostage isn’t important enough to the higher ups or this Chester Isaiah person and that it wouldn’t work. Jimmy has to regrettably agree.
Jimmy brings up that they could call Nucky and try to get reinforcements. Have Sheriff Thompson and his police force try to meet them up here. Richard shoots that down too saying it would take them too long and with the snow still covering the roads it would be damn near impossible. They could be too late if they wait any longer. Jimmy can only nod and swallow back the lump forming in his throat.
They both don’t say what they’re thinking as they really don’t know the exact layout of the warehouse where the mistress is being held or surrounding harbor. They really have nothing to plan until they get there. They both don’t say what they’re thinking because they’re thinking they aren’t going to make it out alive.
Jimmy tries to get Richard to knock heads with him, to bounce ideas off each other, to pick his brain and see what he thinks about all this, what the true intentions behind the kidnapping are but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Richard barely says a word and is unusually pale, his hands trembling slightly as he polishes his Colt rhythmically with his kerchief.
“What?” Jimmy lights a cigarette and is tired of this shit. He’s been patient as long as he can. He’s tried reasoning with him, consoling him and comforting him and nothing seems to work. Whatever patience Jimmy has is running thin. He rubs at his tired eyes and tries not to focus on his completely empty stomach. He had gotten Richard to agree to hunting when the sun goes down as to not draw suspicion. Jimmy eyes the other man now waiting for a response.
Richard continues to polish his Colt, pretending he hadn’t heard Jimmy. Richard has never denied Jimmy anything before and he knows Richard is just avoiding the question by his too tight set jaw and narrowed eye.
“There’s something else going on with you. It isn’t just about Zofia. It’s something else,” Jimmy inhales deeply but gets no solace from the nicotine. Jimmy watches Richard closely. The other man is swiping his thumb across the same area on his Colt over and over, not his usual pattern and his jaw is clenched. Jimmy knows his suspicions are correct.
Richard rises abruptly from the log. “It’s nothing,” and he stalks off, his body shaking slightly, his eye looking agitated and Jimmy definitely knows it’s something.
* * *
They hunt at dusk. Jimmy helps any way he can but it’s mostly Richard’s work. They eat rabbit and drink boiled snow and they’ve barely uttered two words to each other. Jimmy doesn’t want to press it because they still have bigger fish to fry but he still can’t help feel flutters of concern for the older man. Jimmy knows it’s not something war related as Richard is always open to talking about that. It’s something else. This: “nothing”.
Jimmy leaves the hostage some food and water. He knows he shouldn’t just leave him stranded in the middle of the wood but he feels the hostage is getting what he deserved. Although they wish they could take the hostage with them across the ferry to Stanten Island they can’t. It would arouse too much suspicion. If they were traveling by foot they could still easily take him but they were forced to leave him now. The hostage isn’t completely stupid. He’s seen that they’ve packed up the horses and he protests, squirming pathetically against the tree and the bindings that still hold him. He yells, swears and calls Jimmy and Richard every name in the book and finally turns to begging and pleading when Jimmy shows no signs of untying him.
Jimmy crouches down to his level and all he sees is a pathetic excuse for a man that’s tied up to a tree that took a sweet, old woman’s life just because he was following orders. Jimmy spits directly in his face.
“I hope you fucking rot in hell. The only reason why I’m not killing you is because I know my partner over here wouldn’t like it,” Jimmy shrugs, his eyes narrowed dangerously. He chuckles a little under his breath. “I guess you’re lucky that he still has a scrap of a morality in him.” The hostage continues to writhe against the tree, pleading and begging, the restraints biting into his flesh. He pulls at them so hard he’s drawing blood but Jimmy can’t begin to bring himself to care. “I hope your men find you,” Jimmy pulls out and holds up the hostage’s wallet that he pocketed a while back when he was unconscious. “I’ll be sure to leave this where they can find you, make sure they know that you were the one that let us slip away and didn’t kill us,” Jimmy winks and gets up from his crouched position. If Jimmy couldn’t kill him then he would be sure to let the hostage’s “comrades” do the honor for him by leaving evidence behind that they were here. The look of pure fear on the hostage’s face, all the color drained out is almost enough justice and Jimmy leaves without another word.
The sun is melting away and darkness is creeping up like an old friend. The lack of sun makes it bitterly cold, the still air even colder yet. They put out the fire and ready their meager possessions. Richard checks over his rifle and Jimmy pats at his knife and Colt-the only reassurances he feels he has. They two men share a look as they mount their horses and make their slow decent into hell.
* * *
This part became too long. The FINAL Part, Part C is Here
Fandom: Boardwalk Empire
Word Count: 5,098
Rating: R for language and violence
Characters/Pairings: Jimmy/Richard with appearances of Nucky, Margaret, Angela, Nan and the children.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything BE wise.
Summary: Takes place directly after the events of episode 12: "A Return to Normalcy".
Switches back and forth from Jimmy and Richard's POV.
Nan Britton, President Harding's mistress, has gone missing-having fled with Margaret's children. Nucky sends his two hitmen on a mission to find them and bring them back.
This story chronicles the two ex soldiers working alongside each other intimately, getting to know each other and seeking refuge in the other as they struggle to escape their pasts, map their futures and search for the woman but both of them secretly hoping they don't find her and that the seach and working together can continue forever.
Slow building Jimmy/Richard because I love buildup, angst and "non easy relationships".
In this part: The stunning conclusion of the mission Jimmy and Richard were sent on. The two men find where Nan Britton and the children are held and the fight to save everyone's lives ensues...
We're sadly at the end. It's been a marvelous journey and I want to thank you all for taking it with me. It was a first of a lot of things: My first Jimmy/Richard, the first for livejournal, for fanfiction.net and maybe for the fandom as a whole (though I can't be too sure of the last one). I felt pressure and stress at times to do them justice. As everyone knows they aren't easy people and I didn't think they're relationship should be "easy" either.
I want to thank you all again for your support. The BE fandom has been really great. Please enjoy the last chapter and as always please don't forget to comment! :)
Part 3 B: “When my gaze comes down my heart stays up.”
The world holds its breath and is quiet save for the distant sound of a fire burning. His mare’s breath is flaring out in heavy gusts as they travel down the endless deserted road. There’s nothing but endless fields around them and flat land. Richard thinks he misses the ocean however murky and tumultuous it would be and the things he was thinking were familiar by the boardwalk. Richard thinks it’s safer they stick to the woods and avoid the road so they lead their mares to the forest. Jimmy trails weakly behind him, not experienced with a horse. He hears him struggle. He’s also yelling at the hostage, asking him what direction they came from and where they’re holding Ms. Britton and the children. Richard picks up on some of it but he’s a little too far away and he wants to be even further away. No amount of running is going to get me far away enough.
He should stop and wait up for Jimmy or help him question the hostage but quick glances over his shoulder tell Richard that Jimmy is handling himself well enough and he knows that this is Jimmy’s way of dealing with it all. Jimmy externalizes and Richard internalizes. They pass through the thinning forest. The trees are thick with heavy snow covering every surface. Snow is crushed and kicked up by the mare’s hooves, crunching as they pass and there’s nothing but white for miles.
Jimmy whistles something absentmindedly after a while as he often does when he gets bored. They’ve traveled a distance, the sun shifting in the sky to its highest point and it makes Richard squint as the snow is too dazzling in the bright sun. The woods thin out and they change course to travel by road again, confident that they shook their pursuers. Richard slows when he sees it. He stops altogether when he’s upon it. Jimmy comes to a rough stop behind him, having a little trouble with the reigns. It’s a welcome sign to New York. Richard turns his mare so he’s facing Jimmy. They stare at each other for a while, watching their heavy breath puff out in front of them. Jimmy is the first to break.
“Why are we stopping?”
Richard turns his attention to the New York sign. His head is full of brambles and his heart is like a stone that’s been swallowed up by the ocean. He wants to forget everything. He wants to keep traveling through New York and beyond. They could ditch the hostage and forget everything. They could travel up to Canada and start some new life never looking back. It would be very easy to slip away and start somewhere new where no one knew them like when they lived with Zofia. Richard closes his eye. He feels the mare move a little beneath him, shaking her head and feels a cold wind across his face. He opens his eye and looks over his shoulder to the open endless road behind them; snow whipping across it like little waves and it’s hard for Richard to get the words out like they’re stuck in his throat.
“I want you to go back. Hmph,” he gestures to the hostage that’s tied up and gagged once more sitting behind Jimmy on his mare. “Hmm. Leave him with me. Just go.” Jimmy squints at him, the afternoon sun lighting up his pale features, his pupils tiny and swallowed up in his big blue eyes. “What?” Jimmy barks out in disbelief, his eyes hard. Richard sidles up right along Jimmy, his mare trotting. “I made a promise to hmm Mr. Thompson and I intend on keeping it. I can go the rest of the way myself. Hmph.” The two men stare each other down and Jimmy’s eyes are impossibly cold like blue steel. Jimmy turns his head and spits on the ground.
He meets Richard’s eye a heartbeat later and is face is hard, his body equally as rigid leaning forward in his saddle. “I don’t know what kind of promise you made to Nucky but it doesn’t matter because I’m not leaving,” his eyes challenge Richard and they stare each other down again.
“Jim…”
“Don’t start with me,” Jimmy snaps, his face reddening with anger. “You didn’t kill her. I know you feel guilty but it isn’t your fault. If you don’t want more lives to be lost then we need to work together. You need me. You can’t do this on your own!” he’s huffing and puffing, his throat and face flushed but his cheek is twitching and his shoulders are sagging a little as he shifts uncomfortably in the saddle. Richard knows he’s tired. He’s come to understand Jimmy Darmody and his body language very well like learning a secret language.
Richard shakes his head; it feeling impossibly heavy like it’s too much weight for his neck. “Hmph. You don’t understand. It’s not their lives I’m worried about,” he averts his eyes looking behind them again, suddenly very interested with the ground and he feels a little heat rush at his face.
“That’s touching and everything but I’m not some pet you need to look after,” pure sarcasm dripping from his words. “I’m not like your rifle or your precious dog tags,” Jimmy whips them from underneath his jacket. They make a tinkering sound as they bounce off each other. Jimmy’s chest is heaving, breathing hard, the vein in his forehead pulsing. “I don’t need you to protect me. But if you don’t want her death to be in vain then we need to stop wasting time with this hero shit and keep moving,” Jimmy squeezes the mare’s sides with his legs imitating Richard with a clicking sound to get his mare to move like he’s getting the hang of it and then he’s trotting past Richard. Richard stares stupidly after him. He urges his own mare to move glancing behind him once more to the road and forest they just traveled. Richard knows he won’t be coming back. Jimmy might insist on coming with but Richard is not coming back. One way or the other Richard will get his wish.
* * *
Jimmy had forced enough information out of the somewhat cooperative and somewhat conscious hostage to find out that Ms. Britton and the children are being held in Stanten Island. Jimmy tries to get more information out of the man but he goes unconscious-a product of fear, exhaustion and Jimmy beating the shit out of him any chance he gets. Richard had seen it enough in the war to recognize the signs. Again Richard feels he should intervene, should stop Jimmy as they need the information but Richard’s shaken, raked with guilt and his priorities are skewed. He knew damn well what his mission was but after him and Jimmy had crossed a line, getting caught up in something more than just professionalism or friendship, leading the men straight to Zofia and getting her killed the lines got blurred. He couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else getting harmed and killed. Jimmy had already gotten shot defending him. He wasn’t going to let anyone else take it. It was all his now.
They travel a little further. Jimmy’s taking the lead this time even though it irks Richard as the younger man doesn’t have the keenest sense of direction and doesn’t know where he’s going but Richard knows they’re close. He grew up in New York and remembered taking the ferry to Stanten Island with his sister and parents when he was younger. Through all this, through the guilt that fogged his brain, the desire to leave Jimmy and go off on his own Richard had almost forgotten he was back in his home territory. The realization stuns him and he falters on the horse. Thankfully she was treading at a slow pace and Richard gains enough wits to right himself in the saddle before he falls out. He knows also that their horses need to rest. They needed to stop and regroup, wait for the hostage to wake up to be able to question him further and cross the Bay to Stanten Island.
The thick smell of salt is on the air as it whips through their hair and his mind drifts to times when his sister and him would wade in to the ocean. The salt was so thick on the air it seemed to crystallize on their lips and eyelashes. They would smile and laugh as they chased the tide. They would clasp hands and hop around on the sand as it sucked at their feet. They would giggle as sand found its way in-between their tiny toes.
“Richie, let’s find sand dollars!” Julia was always making up games for them, leading Richard into wherever her playful and creative mind went and Richard always followed. He loved to see her smile. He felt too connected to her not to want to make her happy as she did for him. Richard followed her around dutifully trying to find sand dollars but Julia was better at it than him. She had them piled in her shirt that she used like a pocket. She teased him when Richard only found a couple.
“You should respect your older brother. You may be quicker but I am older…” She rolls her beautiful brown eyes at him, so much like his. Her black curls bounce around her face as she shakes her head. “By three minutes!” she interrupts. “I’ll never let that down,” she shoves at him playfully and then they’re off to the next game, the next adventure and Richard feels never happier.
His mare troddens over earth where Richard used to live, his stomping grounds, places he used to visit with his family but they were gone too.
“Richie, we’ll always be together. Right? You and me?”
Richard closes his eye, trying to desperately push out the memories of not coming home after his accident in the war, not coming home to her, his sister and his twin. But he was home now.
“We were born together does that mean we’ll die together too?”
Richard hid from her, hid from his family after his accident, too afraid of how they would react. He didn’t want Julia to cringe, to look upon her twin’s face and see a monster, see a character out of the books she always read. He wanted her to see him. He didn’t want her pity he wanted her to smile like she always did.
“We’ll always be together. Just you and me.”
He was home and it would stay that way. One way or the other he knew he wasn’t going back to New Jersey.
I don’t think we’ll be together much longer…And he isn’t sure if he’s directing the thought towards Jimmy or his sister.
He shouts after Jimmy to slow down. Jimmy does after a time still looking petulant and tired. Richard takes the lead. He leads them to a small, nearby wood he had remembered from his youth. It’s a place him and Julia may have gone to and played in but he isn’t too sure. He pushes thoughts of his sister out of his mind. Jimmy shoots him these looks and although they still look smoldering there’s concern and a question there too. Richard hopes Jimmy doesn’t ask him how he knows the area so well. He doesn’t want to delve into it with him.
The sun is setting, dipping behind heavy clouds bruising the sky with purples and reds. They go as deep in the wood to keep secluded and hidden until Richard is satisfied. They make camp. Their hostage is still tied and gagged as he lies on a blanket, his eyes closed. Richard almost wishes that he wasn’t. He wants other sounds besides the shimmering of light snow across the earth by the wind. It makes a curious scurrying sound like blowing salt from across a piece of paper. The bare branches of trees are swaying slightly and rattling against each other. The world is too still in winter Richard thinks and he doesn’t want to be alone with him. He wants to go off on his own but he knows he can’t until they can question the hostage further.
It’s like their roles are reversed and Richard is the one that is fidgety, anxious and can’t keep still. He paces their small camp area leaving heavy tracks in the snow and he feels Jimmy’s eyes on him like they’re boring holes. He feels the weight of his gaze but Richard already feels heavy and saturated like his footfalls are sinking into the frozen ground and with every step he’s lowered into his grave. Sometimes he thinks the only reason he keeps breathing is because of the need to kill. It’s so strong it almost outweighs the agony of guilt that twists inside him. The two emotions are like two ribbons intertwining and running over everything inside him like a candy stripe. The ribbons pull and constrict everything. He feels like he can’t eat or sleep.
“You didn’t do this.”
He continues to pace and ignores Jimmy’s words but his legs get tired after a time and he sits down on the log next to the little fire. Jimmy limps over to him and sits right next to him on the small space, their hips brushing slightly and their long legs almost touching.
The fire spits and crackles throwing little shadows over everything. The night winter world seems more impossibly quiet and heavy then the day. Jimmy’s heavy gaze is still on him and Richard just wants him to stop. Though most of the anger and defiance Jimmy was emanating has subsided he still looks far too curious, full of concern and tired.
“Hmph. I want to tell you a story.” This seems to throw Jimmy off a bit, startling him which selfishly is what Richard wanted.
Jimmy lights a cigarette in preparation for the story and nods at Richard, his eyes too impossibly soft and warm now. Jimmy leans back a little, propping his elbow and resting his cheek into his fist. When Richard sees that he’s ready he clears his throat and starts where any story starts: the beginning.
“There was a story my father told me, hmph, once when I was a boy that I still carry around inside me now. Hmm.” Smoke and darkness seem to eat up Richard’s words and he takes a shaky breath. “There was a man once that lived long ago. Hmph. He was disgusted with the world, hungh, and what it had become. Hmm. He was so tired of it that he took his own life. He jumped from a very high place. Hmph. When he landed, hmm, his body burst into many pieces. His organs scattered, some going great distances because of how high up he was when he jumped. Hungh. It was tough work for the others to gather up his body, hmph, and to bury the man. Hmph. The work was so hard that they gave up and missed one piece of him. Hmm.”
Richard pauses to take in Jimmy’s reaction. The younger man is blinking widely at him through sleepy eyes, cigarette burning between his pale fingers, his attention totally on Richard. “What did they miss?” Jimmy takes a deep drag, his eyes reflecting firelight. Richard smiles weakly. “His eye. Hmph. They buried him deep in the ground with everything except his one eye. Hungh. The man became a ghost then hmm so consumed by hate with the people he was disgusted with missed his one vital piece. Hmph. The man, the ghost still wanders the earth to this day, hmm, still looking for that final piece and won’t give up until he finds it,” Richard rubs his hands together and rubs at his arms to try to rid himself of the new chill he feels. Jimmy tosses his cigarette into the fire and eyes Richard. “If he was so disgusted with the world why did he expect others to bury him or even try to find all the pieces of him?”
Richard shrugs, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I think the man hated himself truthfully. Hmph. He still needed others. Hmph. Because of that hate he has to walk the earth as a ghost. Hmm.”
Jimmy nods sleepily and unexpectedly leans against Richard and rests his head on his shoulder. “You’re not a ghost,” he winds his hands around Richard’s bicep and Richard is almost too stunned to move. “I’ll help you find the missing piece,” Jimmy yawns. Jimmy is warm against him and Richard’s heart throbs uncomfortably, his stomach doing somersaults. He looks at Jimmy but Jimmy’s eyes are closed, his pale eyelids fluttering, his body relaxing winded around him. Richard smiles in spite of himself and smoothes some hair out of Jimmy’s face. “Hmm. And I don’t hate the whole world,” he kisses Jimmy’s forehead, rests his head against his and blessedly feels sleep tug at him, something he hadn’t been able have in quite a while.
I still walk this world as a ghost but I don’t hate the whole world. Not you. He falls asleep.
* * *
Jimmy wakes stiff and cold the next morning. His neck and back ache from sleeping on the frosty ground. His bad leg is especially not agreeing with him and he’s hungry since they haven’t eaten since leaving Zofia’s house the morning before. They literally have nothing between the two of them except their guns and the clothes on their back.
Just like the war.
Despite everything, the external things weighing him down, internally he’s surprisingly calm. He still feels anger towards the hostage and what him and his men did to Zofia and concern towards Richard but it’s quieted. Jimmy notices Richard is still sleeping and Jimmy rebuilds the fire. He limps over to the bound hostage. Jimmy had tied him securely to a tree as he lay unconscious. The hostage’s head is bowed, his chin almost resting on his chest, eyes closed and Jimmy isn’t buying it. He had been around too many enemies faking things in the war to be fooled. Jimmy toes the hostage with his boot. When the hostage doesn’t stir he kicks at him hard and the hostage whelps, his head snapping up to meet Jimmy’s eyes.
Jimmy crouches down to his level. He removes the gag from the hostage’s mouth. Jimmy has his gun out and he plays with it, testing the weight of the Colt in his gloved hand looking about the small wood. The sun is just coming up over the horizon. Jimmy thinks this will be the last sunrise he may have with him and the thought makes him frown. He didn’t think they were too far from the ferry that could take them to Stanten Island. Their time was up. He releases a breathy shy. He wants to take care of this before Richard wakes. He didn’t want anything else bearing down on the other man’s already burdened conscience. Jimmy lights a cigarette and regards the waking world.
“Where are they?” Jimmy doesn’t leave any room for question or avoidance in his statement. The hostage was already babbling nonsense, swearing, spitting, bargaining but Jimmy ignored it all. The hostage comes up short at Jimmy’s question like it had physically rattled him. Jimmy enjoys his cigarette and waits for the hostage to answer. When Jimmy finally regards him the hostage is struggling pathetically at the restraints shooting Jimmy menacing looks.
“I don’t know…”
Jimmy gets right up in his face, crowding his space with a nasty sneer and shoves the barrel of his Colt at the man’s crotch. The hostage releases a high pitched wail, sweat beading at his brow.
“I think you do.”
The hostage continues to grunt in pain, shaking his head rapidly, avoiding Jimmy’s gaze. Jimmy exhales smoke directly into the hostage’s face and digs the gun painfully deeper into his balls, thumbing back the hammer.
“I really think you do.”
The hostage is sweating profusely now despite the frigid November air. His breath is labored and his eyes are tearing up in pain. He hisses and yelps when Jimmy shoves harder and flicks ash into his face. Jimmy feels his presence at his back. You bastard you woke him up. Jimmy wants to punish the hostage for this but he knows Richard doesn’t approve of all the methods Jimmy uses for interrogation, mainly taking his anger out on the hostage. Jimmy flicks his cigarette to the snow, stands from his crouched position with his Colt still aimed at the hostage’s crotch and Richard is standing next to him. Jimmy can literally feel the rolls of anxiety and stress coming from the other man like he’s wearing it on his clothes and the hostage is spilling everything. Richard whips out his moleskine and starts scribbling the information down as the hostage hastily divulges it. Jimmy feels a tiny surge of heat in his system upon seeing the familiar moleskine. He was glad it was something that wasn’t lost in the fire.
The hostage produces the exact location, some warehouse on a harbor but not the details of who he works for, who sent him or how many men Richard and Jimmy can expect when they get there. The hostage rests his battered head against the trunk of the tree, licks his cracked, split lips and laughs just like all the other pursuers Jimmy and Richard have encountered. The laugh enrages Jimmy and he feels his resolve snap. He can feel Richard’s hefty gaze on him as he rounds on the hostage yelling threats straight in his face, threatening to shoot one of his balls off, bring him back to consciousness and do it to the other. The hostage laughs until he’s in too much pain to laugh from the hard strikes he’s receiving across the face. It sobers him up quickly.
The hostage spits blood, staining the white snow and regards Jimmy with bruised eyes.
“Chester Isaiah.”
Jimmy furrows his eyebrows and shoots Richard a look. Richard is writing the name down and feels Jimmy’s eyes on him. He meets Jimmy’s puzzled look and Richard shrugs confirming that both men have no idea who Chester Isaiah is.
When Jimmy questions the hostage further he only tells them that’s the man he works for, sends them out and pulls all the strings. As for how many men are guarding the warehouse he swears he has no idea only guessing: “a lot.” When Jimmy tries to beat it out of him Richard puts a warm hand on his shoulder to stop him. Jimmy gags the hostage again and the two ex soldiers leave him to consult and plan. Richard is anything but himself. He’s on edge and fidgety, his eye darting all around and although Jimmy knows he got some sleep the other man still looks exhausted and haggard.
Jimmy’s already tried to tell Richard it wasn’t his fault as he knows he’s still wrought with grief but Richard doesn’t want to hear it or accept it. Richard is looking all around, shifting his weight on the balls of his feet. “Hey,” Jimmy says gently trying to get his attention. He places his hand on his arm to soothe him, to let him know he’s here in every sense of the term for as long as they still had left but Richard recoils from his touch. He regards Jimmy wide eyed, almost looking shocked that Jimmy would even think of laying a hand on him. Jimmy wants to be impatient and angry with him but finds he can’t. He knows Richard isn’t himself and he tables it. They have bigger things to deal with then how Richard is feeling. People’s lives were still at stake.
Jimmy was more a doer, always going in guns blazing, shooting first and asking questions later where Richard was a thinker, planning and analyzing things with great care which was why he was an excellent sharpshooter and rifleman. You needed to be able to execute great precision and patience. Jimmy looked to Richard to see the smaller details and work the angles but Richard is evasive and Jimmy literally has to force him to cooperate and speak. He’s able to get him to focus after a time and they formulate a plan. They’ll leave at night to give them the advantage of the dark’s camouflage. Jimmy had argued that they could use the hostage as a bargaining chip, to use him to trade for the mistress and children but Richard shoots the idea down saying the hostage isn’t important enough to the higher ups or this Chester Isaiah person and that it wouldn’t work. Jimmy has to regrettably agree.
Jimmy brings up that they could call Nucky and try to get reinforcements. Have Sheriff Thompson and his police force try to meet them up here. Richard shoots that down too saying it would take them too long and with the snow still covering the roads it would be damn near impossible. They could be too late if they wait any longer. Jimmy can only nod and swallow back the lump forming in his throat.
They both don’t say what they’re thinking as they really don’t know the exact layout of the warehouse where the mistress is being held or surrounding harbor. They really have nothing to plan until they get there. They both don’t say what they’re thinking because they’re thinking they aren’t going to make it out alive.
Jimmy tries to get Richard to knock heads with him, to bounce ideas off each other, to pick his brain and see what he thinks about all this, what the true intentions behind the kidnapping are but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Richard barely says a word and is unusually pale, his hands trembling slightly as he polishes his Colt rhythmically with his kerchief.
“What?” Jimmy lights a cigarette and is tired of this shit. He’s been patient as long as he can. He’s tried reasoning with him, consoling him and comforting him and nothing seems to work. Whatever patience Jimmy has is running thin. He rubs at his tired eyes and tries not to focus on his completely empty stomach. He had gotten Richard to agree to hunting when the sun goes down as to not draw suspicion. Jimmy eyes the other man now waiting for a response.
Richard continues to polish his Colt, pretending he hadn’t heard Jimmy. Richard has never denied Jimmy anything before and he knows Richard is just avoiding the question by his too tight set jaw and narrowed eye.
“There’s something else going on with you. It isn’t just about Zofia. It’s something else,” Jimmy inhales deeply but gets no solace from the nicotine. Jimmy watches Richard closely. The other man is swiping his thumb across the same area on his Colt over and over, not his usual pattern and his jaw is clenched. Jimmy knows his suspicions are correct.
Richard rises abruptly from the log. “It’s nothing,” and he stalks off, his body shaking slightly, his eye looking agitated and Jimmy definitely knows it’s something.
* * *
They hunt at dusk. Jimmy helps any way he can but it’s mostly Richard’s work. They eat rabbit and drink boiled snow and they’ve barely uttered two words to each other. Jimmy doesn’t want to press it because they still have bigger fish to fry but he still can’t help feel flutters of concern for the older man. Jimmy knows it’s not something war related as Richard is always open to talking about that. It’s something else. This: “nothing”.
Jimmy leaves the hostage some food and water. He knows he shouldn’t just leave him stranded in the middle of the wood but he feels the hostage is getting what he deserved. Although they wish they could take the hostage with them across the ferry to Stanten Island they can’t. It would arouse too much suspicion. If they were traveling by foot they could still easily take him but they were forced to leave him now. The hostage isn’t completely stupid. He’s seen that they’ve packed up the horses and he protests, squirming pathetically against the tree and the bindings that still hold him. He yells, swears and calls Jimmy and Richard every name in the book and finally turns to begging and pleading when Jimmy shows no signs of untying him.
Jimmy crouches down to his level and all he sees is a pathetic excuse for a man that’s tied up to a tree that took a sweet, old woman’s life just because he was following orders. Jimmy spits directly in his face.
“I hope you fucking rot in hell. The only reason why I’m not killing you is because I know my partner over here wouldn’t like it,” Jimmy shrugs, his eyes narrowed dangerously. He chuckles a little under his breath. “I guess you’re lucky that he still has a scrap of a morality in him.” The hostage continues to writhe against the tree, pleading and begging, the restraints biting into his flesh. He pulls at them so hard he’s drawing blood but Jimmy can’t begin to bring himself to care. “I hope your men find you,” Jimmy pulls out and holds up the hostage’s wallet that he pocketed a while back when he was unconscious. “I’ll be sure to leave this where they can find you, make sure they know that you were the one that let us slip away and didn’t kill us,” Jimmy winks and gets up from his crouched position. If Jimmy couldn’t kill him then he would be sure to let the hostage’s “comrades” do the honor for him by leaving evidence behind that they were here. The look of pure fear on the hostage’s face, all the color drained out is almost enough justice and Jimmy leaves without another word.
The sun is melting away and darkness is creeping up like an old friend. The lack of sun makes it bitterly cold, the still air even colder yet. They put out the fire and ready their meager possessions. Richard checks over his rifle and Jimmy pats at his knife and Colt-the only reassurances he feels he has. They two men share a look as they mount their horses and make their slow decent into hell.
* * *
This part became too long. The FINAL Part, Part C is Here