Fic: "Black Moon" Chapter 9 (Arthur/Eames) Part 2/3

[twilightthief]

Title:"Black Moon"

Rating: R for language

Summary: Written for the  inception_kink meme prompt: "Touch deprivation. Arthur is deprived of touch, Eames starts touching him all the time. Arthur doesn't understand why he allows it, or why he secretly even likes/needs it." This gives us Arthur's back story moving to Inception and past that as he battles OCD and touch deprivation and eventually Eames helping him. Slow building A/E.

Word Count:  About 20,000 between the three parts

Notes: I own nothing

This is Part 2 out of 3. Part 1 is Here. Part 3 is Here

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“My colleagues thought I was quite mad. I was spending all hours in the library or staying up late researching things they didn’t think I ever would understand,” he points to his head with his index finger. “Try telling my obsessed brain that it was crazy. I entered my masters program for architecture but I was interested in so many things. Again my colleagues thought I was crazy wasting my time with architecture since I was very good at math and chemistry. I excelled in engineering and physics but…I loved to build things and I was stubborn. I think the more people told me not to do something I only wanted to do it more,” he laughs lightly.

“My father died right before I earned my masters. All of us, my siblings and I are, were reunited again for the first time in several years. I took that opportunity to try to reason with them and get them to open up and share about our mum. My oldest sister Phillipa would only bicker with me and my older brother Alan would close up and only murmur prayers under his breath like he was totally brainwashed. I told myself if only I could have connected myself to their closed off brains somehow and suddenly this strange, incredible idea took over me as we were watching my father’s casket being lowered into the ground. What if I was able to go into my siblings memories? The only ones that still seemed to remember my mum? It was crazy but again,” Miles taps at his head with his index finger. “Try telling my brain that. I was consumed with new ideas and purpose and again I threw myself into my research and work in my spare time. In 1972 after I earned my masters and was teaching at Oxford I started working on my crazy idea. Somehow people were pulled into my craziness and gravitated towards me and I’m still not sure how or why even to this day. Maybe it was the passion I showed or maybe they just felt sorry for me? Whatever the reason my two colleagues and I shared a small lab in the basement of Oxford and in between teaching I developed the idea and they helped me execute the trials. Now through all this I had basically zero social life as you can imagine. I was all consumed with work and research,” he smiles and it lights up his face making him look younger again.

“I met Marie in 1973. She was working as a secretary in the Dean’s office,” Miles whistles. “She was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. Prettiest eyes and face, legs that went on for days and she was French! God, I just wanted to lean on her desk and listen to her speak as she answered the phone all day,” Miles chuckles a little. “Any excuse to go to the Dean’s office I would. She of course caught on to my lame flirting attempts eventually,” he sighs heavily and there’s a faraway look in his eye again. “I don’t know what she saw in me. I was some half crazed lunatic that spent all his time in the dark basement lab like some nutter talking about nonsense about sharing memories through a device,” he laughs a hearty laugh. “But she saw something in me and she truly made my world beautiful to live in. She quieted my overzealous and overworked brain. She settled me,” he nods a little in remembrance. “We were hot and heavy from the get go and I just knew she was the one. We married in ’74 and everything was kind of a whirlwind. Everything was happening very fast. My colleagues and I were making breakthroughs with the device we were building and Marie and I were expecting our first child by the end of ’74,” Miles stops, smiles a toothy grin and regards Arthur. “Mallorie was born in September of ’75 and it should have been the happiest day of my life and in a way it was but we made major head way with the drug we were developing that went along with the device that same week and I was just riding this feeling. I told you I was selfish,” he eyes Arthur and Arthur can only blink at him with saddened eyes. Arthur had an idea of where this story was heading.

“Marie agreed to be a stay at home mum as I was just too busy with my teaching and my outside work. We would argue all the time when I was home which was infrequently. ‘I was putting my family on the backburner, I didn’t even know my own daughter, and all I thought about was my work’. And this was all true but of course I couldn’t admit it at the time. I was so close to my dream of seeing my mum again and nothing was going to stand in my way not even my family,” Miles sighs deeply and closes his eyes. “And I didn’t really know my own daughter then and that to me is my hugest regret,” he opens his eyes and smiles weakly. “We divorced in ’78. Marie fought to get full custody,” Miles sighs deeply, more pained this time. “She was granted it because the court saw me as an ill suited father who was too involved in his work. They left me and I deserved it. It was a bad time for me after that and I would be kidding myself if I didn't think from time to time back then that I should take my own life and just hope I see my mum again that way instead, deeming everything as ‘too hard’,” he sighs again. “But I carried on somehow. The development of the device was my only real outlet, my only real thing. In 1993 I got the surprise of my life. My daughter, being curious about the father that she didn’t really know, sought me out unbeknownst to her mum. She was just like me at that age. She was eighteen and ready to fly the coop, stretch her wings and experience things. I was given a second chance with her,” he smiles hugely. “I’m not a religious person, I gave that up when I was twelve but I thank whoever is up there everyday for giving me a second chance to know my daughter. We developed a relationship slowly after that over the years mostly in secret from her mum, building up what we had lost,” he smiles and Arthur swears he sees the beginnings of tears in his eyes.

“She stumbled upon my research in my office one day, going over my things when I wasn’t there. I wanted to be cross with her but the look on her face was so eager and full of passion. She was immensely interested and I found myself telling her everything,” Miles shrugs looking bewildered and guilty. “How could I not? She was my daughter, my only child and I thought I had lost her. I always imagined having a large family but after Marie left and took Mal I knew it was never in the cards for me. I only had Mal and if she wanted to know me and what I was working on I wanted to share it with her. I didn’t want to hold anything back from her or deny her anything anymore. She started working with me in the lab and by that time her mum, my ex wife,  found out. Marie felt betrayed of course and Marie and I really didn’t have much of a relationship at all before that point but it forced us to talk. I argued with her that Mal was an adult and could choose her own life but Marie kept accusing me of brainwashing her,” Miles shakes his head glumly. “It was an uphill battle but in the end Marie knew she couldn’t keep Mal from doing it and Mal was a lot like me. If someone told her she couldn’t do something she would just want to do it more. So we worked together while she took classes at Oxford. She helped me immensely as I’m getting to be quite an old man now and although I used to be able to stay up all night and do research and run around like crazy I can’t anymore. My mind is still quick but my body isn’t,” he laughs.

“I met Dom three years ago. He was a student of mine when he was taking an introductory architecture course. He was going to school for engineering after leaving his military career though,” Miles leans in close to Arthur and motions for Arthur to come closer. Arthur leans in hesitantly. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Arthur’s eyes go wide and he swallows and nods deeply. “I think Dom wanted to go to Oxford because he knew his father had gone here. I don’t think he graduated but he attended. Dom will never admit it of course but he didn’t choose Oxford on a whim,” Miles shrugs a little. “I guess Dom doesn’t have the best relationship with his father either and we bonded on that though he never really speaks of him though I’ve tried,” Miles’ eyes crinkle a little at the corners. “I took to him as we both were little lost souls, men that fell off the path. What started as a friendly student teacher companionship turned to real friendship,” Miles smiles and he looks very much alive.

“I found myself telling Dom about my research one night over good wine,” Miles laughs. “I swear that boy knows all my guilty pleasures. He was very interested in it right off the bat just like my daughter and wanting to be a lab assistant but I refused. I already didn’t like that my daughter was doing test trials on the device and drugs and I didn’t want to rope in any more young blood. But he was very insistent and there was a fire in his eyes and this passion emanating from him that told me that he wouldn’t let go,” Miles shakes his head a little. “I think Dom is keeping something to himself about what his true reasons for getting involved are and maybe it has to do with his father. I’m not sure,” he shrugs with a: “what are you going to do?” type look.  “He met my daughter and of course took to her right away. I again refused. I love Dom dearly but he is an overzealous, cocky American who wanted to play the hero,” Miles chuckles. “Essentially he was acting like me all those years ago and being the protective father that I am I told him to back off. Mal didn’t like him right away anyway saying he was too obsessed and she didn’t like arrogant Americans,” Miles smiles and Arthur finds himself smiling a little too. Miles shrugs. “They’re inseparable. I don’t think they even know how it happened,” he chuckles. “One day she hates him and Dom’s respecting my wishes and then the next day they’re madly in love and Mal is bursting into my office saying that I better not get in the way,” he shrugs, smiling sheepishly. “And I don’t anymore because again I can’t deny her after not being in her life for so long and really I do adore Dom. He’s the son I never had but he just needs someone to help him see all the little things, the little details,” Miles regards Arthur coolly. Arthur finds himself nodding and absorbing Miles words.

“Our breakthrough came after a year of all of us working together as a team. The Somnicol worked successfully enough with the device. We were able to enter each other’s dreams but not memories,” there’s a queer smile on Miles face, somewhere between a grimace and a pleasantry. “Memories can be in dreams but we weren’t able to separate the two and just enter strictly a memory which means I won’t be able to enter one of my sibling’s minds for a memory of my mum. Not that they really would have allowed me anyway but…,” he scratches the back of his head and frowns. “I was extremely pleased with the success though. I had spent so much time, energy, money, etcetera on the device and it was finally successful. Just not in the way I had truly hoped. I had spent more than twenty years of my life perfecting it and I still cannot do exactly what I want with it,” he rubs at his chin and looks forlorn. “Well, and you know pretty much the rest I’m sure. Dom probably told you. Last year, after the success of the dream sharing machine caught wind and Oxford was going to fund me to develop it further the military swooped in and took it from us. I just had it and it was just as quickly taken away. We were all devastated but I think it hit Dom the hardest. He wouldn’t give up even when all seemed lost,” Miles smiles like he knows a secret. “ Dom quit school though I protested since he was so close to graduating though he insists he’ll go back,” Miles rolls his eyes deeply. “He used his prior excellent work with the military to give him leverage and he knew people that could get him into a government job. I don’t really agree with all the tactics he used or how he went about it as it wasn’t all legal but he was able to get into the Pentagon and then it was just a matter of time when the dream sharing device was shuffled around in the UK and then finally the US,” Miles closes his eyes again and takes a deep breath. He opens his eyes and they are bright and shining. “I am very happy to have it back as it obviously needs to be further honed as most people are having negative reactions to the Somnicol,” Miles shakes his head. “I’m not sure why. We’ll have to do further testing or just start from scratch and try to develop a different drug,” Miles scratches his balding head looking a little glum. He eyes Arthur after a while. “And that’s my story. So, knowing all that and my true reasons for wanting to keep developing the device do you still want to be aboard this ship so to speak?”

Arthur twists his hands in his lap and bites his lip. He shrugs a little after a time.

“I do. I just have a couple questions.”

Miles nods faintly, looking solemn. He gestures to Arthur to continue.

“You say you can’t separate dreams from memories? But memories can happen in dreams right? So are you developing the technology further in hopes that you’re able to share or experience a memory with someone or…?” Arthur still feels a little lost but the idea is intriguing all the same. Arthur somehow feels it’s probably possible to share memories with others but how to really convey that in a dream probably would be tricky. They would probably have to be very profound or powerful memories.

The Professor rubs at his chin thoughtfully and nods. He flashes a toothy grin after a moment. “You’re very perceptive and I can tell you like to have all the details straight,” Miles winks. “A man after my own heart,” he leans towards Arthur and seems to think about what he wants to say like he’s choosing his words carefully. “Dreams are fascinating. Wouldn’t you agree?” Arthur nods in agreement. “In dreams you can conjure up anything and everything,” Miles spreads his arms out wide to elaborate. “And we’ve done it. At least in the truest, simplest sense we’re able to connect people and share dreams, go into their minds,” Miles folds his hands in his lap neatly again. “But it isn’t enough. It’s too simple at least for me,” he sighs deeply. “I love that we developed it but I’m a selfish old man,” he laughs. “I need to be able to share memories, connect with others on the past too, to share things that have already happened.”

“Is it possible?” Arthur finds himself asking and he almost regrets it the minute it leaves his mouth. He doesn’t want to frustrate or sadden the Professor further.

Thankfully Miles just smiles thoughtfully. “No, it’s perfectly possible. It’s just bloody difficult,” he chuckles a little. “I’ve tried for twenty years and we’re only able to just share dreams,” he bounces his knee a little anxiously. “If only there was a way to truly manipulate the dream to be able to withdraw information somehow or change it the way you needed it. And we are able to do that in a sense but when it comes to memories…” he waves a hand in front of his face in a dismissive gesture. “Well, Dom and my daughter are enamored with the dreams and are perfectly content on just developing that and I should be satisfied with that as well,” he crosses his arms and looks about the small office.

“Do they know? About why you developed the device I mean and what you hope to accomplish?”

The Professor smiles at him sadly and that’s all the answer Arthur needs. “Like I said you and I are similar in that we’re both searching for someone. I haven’t found her yet and I do hope you find your father. Would you expect anyone to understand your desire?” Miles searches Arthur’s face deeply and Arthur shifts in his seat uncomfortably from the heavy gaze and feels confused as to how the Professor knows he’s looking for his father. He shakes his head after a time. “No, I wouldn’t.” Miles nods at him a little looking contemplative.

“They know a little of why and how I got interested in it and how I’d like to be able to go into memories but not what I’m searching for or what I want to do,” he sighs. “They think, just like everyone else, that I’m just content with the dreams. You have to understand I love them both very much and I want them to be happy. I hope they get married and have lots of children,” he chuckles. “At least I’ll be able to spoil my grandchildren like the way I would have liked to have spoiled Mal. I don’t tell them everything because I don’t want to crush their spirits or that passion they have and I don’t want to deny Mal anything anymore. She’s very happy and I don’t want to make her unhappy ever again. Like I said they are very enamored with the dream sharing,” Miles shrugs and flashes Arthur a toothy grin. “And who knows maybe I’ll be able to learn from them and be able to be at peace with just developing the dream sharing.” Miles eyes say differently and Arthur knows deep down that Miles will never be truly satisfied until he finds what he’s looking for because Arthur feels the same. Arthur has a very strong urge to tell the Professor that he wants to help, a feeling sweeping over him. He also wants to tell him that they are the same in a lot of ways but he’s interrupted by a knock on the door. Mal peeks her head in and smiles at them.

“Can we come in or do you need more time to sit and grill poor Arthur?” she laughs her sweet, sing song laugh. Miles rolls his eyes playfully but motions to her to come in. He chuckles a little. “No, we’re done with the interview and lie detector test,” he winks. Mal and Dom breeze in. Mal hands her father a steaming mug of tea and hands Arthur an equally steamy mug of black coffee, just the way he likes it. Arthur thanks her and the four of them talk and the three colleagues visit after a time and talk turns to work eventually. Arthur is mostly silent during those parts in the conversation but Miles shoots him knowing looks every once in a while like they share a secret because they really do and Arthur knows he’ll keep it for him because they are very much the same. They’re two men with deep dark secrets who are searching for someone that will absolve them of their sins.

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Miles moves to Paris in an apartment that’s close to Mal’s house and they all help move all the equipment into Warehouse Six. They set up their lab and offices of sorts. Russell makes appearances and helps as well. Arthur still isn’t sure how Russell fits into the equation of everything but the others know and trust him and Arthur keeps closed mouthed, keeps his head down and tries his best to keep up. The five of them work very well together and blessedly Arthur is given tasks to do to keep busy. The four former colleagues are all very excited to have the device back and Arthur tries to share in that excitement with them. The four of them get caught in deep discussion and debate about heavy things concerning the device and Arthur can’t keep track of what they’re talking about. He admits to himself he feels like the odd man out, the “new guy” but the others do include him and educate him as much as possible but there’s a lot to learn as Mal had told him. It seems Miles’ hints about keeping Dom on track and pointing out the “little things” were correct.

“I want you to be my point man.” Dom and him are alone in the warehouse after a long, grueling day of research to find a new chemist and various other things regarding developing the device further.

Arthur knew what a point man was in the military. They were the first to lead and go into enemy or hostile territory. The point man was always the first to get shot. They were leaders and had to be incredibly brave. Arthur eyes Dom suspiciously thinking he misspoke. “Point man?”

Dom chuckles a little, his steely eyes flashing. “I guess it’s an old military term but I thought we could identify with it more that way?” Dom shrugs. “I want you to be in charge of research and above all else to keep me in check and on track,” he laughs a little. Arthur furrows his brow at him. “So you don’t want me to go under?”

Dom waves his hands in front of his face. “No, no. I do but you have an important job besides that, we all do. Yours is just more detailed orientated and time consuming but from what I read about you at Fort Irwin you like detail and doing research.” This was true though it could prove dangerous given what kind of mood he was in or if he felt stressed. His OCD could come out very easily. He had been able to keep it under wraps as of late thankfully. Arthur thinks of Dom and Miles and how they all are keeping secrets from one another. It was just one more to throw on the heap. Arthur nods at Dom.

“I know we’re all doing research now but eventually when we get a hold of a chemist and develop the new version of the drug you’ll be solely responsible for research as we’re all going to have different tasks to focus on.” Arthur nods again. “Do you accept it then?” Arthur opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He had always loved doing research on the background and origin of things, spending hours in the academy’s library reading up on things he thought were interesting to keep his mind occupied but he still liked doing things as well. Arthur couldn’t help feel afraid that by working behind the scenes he wouldn’t be able to enter the dream anymore.

“Yes,” Arthur says after a time. “But I want to go to school and I think you should finish too.” The revelation startles Arthur and seems to startle Dom as well. He blinks at Arthur rapidly, a curious look broken out on his face. It was hard for Arthur to make decisions and figure out what he liked but he knew he wanted to go to college and he hoped he would be able to swing it while working with Dom and the others. He was always good at multitasking and he hoped it brought on a new routine for him to live by but knowing it would bring on new stress too which could trigger his OCD tenfold.

“Ok,” Dom says sounding bewildered. “It’s a deal,” and Dom offers him his hand. Arthur stares at it. He doesn’t like to shake hands if he didn’t initiate it first. Arthur does take it after a while begrudgingly. The brief contact with Dom’s skin makes Arthur flush and sends a jolt down his spine leaving him feeling tingly even after Dom releases his hand from him.

The first few months were a transition period. Not only for Arthur getting used to living in another country outside the US away from everything familiar, getting used to the unregimented lifestyle not full of control and order and being able to make decisions for himself. It was also a transition period for the team as well as they set up shop in Warehouse Six and had to learn to all work together and above all learn about each other.

Mal opened up to him very easily like she was an open book. Dom was willing to talk about some things but not others just as Miles had told Arthur there were some subjects with Dom that were off limits completely mainly about his father and parts of his military career and why he left to go to Oxford. Russell was a bit of a loose cannon and his moods varied widely. Some days he would be completely jovial and good humored with everyone except Arthur and other days he would barely utter a word to anyone and kept to himself. Russell was more prone to be snarky; sarcastic, cold and overall evasive about most things the more Arthur talked to him and tried to get to know him. Russell more or less never sought out Arthur exclusively for conversation nor talked to him unless spoken to first and although he was never outright cruel to him Arthur got a vibe that he resented Arthur somehow. The architect walked around with a chip on his shoulder and a grudge with the world and Arthur wondered if it was because the device was taken from them by the military and Arthur had worked for the said military? It was the only thing that Arthur could think of as to why Russell would feel some animosity towards him. Despite the awkward feelings or grudges they were able to push their differences aside when it came to work.

They had to keep a low profile. Dom, Russell and Arthur had all worked together to steal a top secret device from the military and Arthur and Dom had gone AWOL from their jobs. They all assumed that the three of them were probably seen as possible culprits, the feds piecing things together. They knew their faces were probably showing up in federal databases and airports for “No fly” listings. They would have to bunker down and sit tight. All of them used aliases and fake identities for everything with the exception of Miles who didn’t commit any crimes and still had his legal job.

“You’re going to have to change your name.”

All of them were working in their respective spaces in the warehouse.  Arthur had his own small office in one of the rooms off shooting from the main warehouse space. They had found an old desk when Dom and Arthur had gone to a dump. They brought it back and Arthur took great pride and care in cleaning it and re-finishing it. He never had something like that to call his own and although it still leaned a little because one of the legs was shorter than the others and it had a faint, unpleasant odor Arthur still loved it. There was a table and workspace in the main portion of the warehouse where he could have spent time doing his research in the airy space but he liked knowing he had his own “office” as well.

Arthur peers at Dom leaning up against the door frame of his office and blinks at him.

“I mean you have a fake passport but for everything else you’re going to have to change it,” Dom smiles a little a sloppily. “You’ll still be Arthur but…” he trails off like Arthur knows exactly what he means.

“I have to change it legally?”

Dom shrugs. “Legally in a sense. Let’s put it this way. You won’t be Arthur Marek anymore but you’ll still have a US birth certificate somewhere out there that says that you are but here you’ll have a new identity.”

Arthur furrows his brows at the once deadly consultant.

“What’s your name here?”

Dom laughs. “James Matthews,” he waggles his eyebrows. “Really imaginative I know,” he laughs again to himself.

Arthur shrugs helplessly at Dom as Dom is staring at him apparently waiting for Arthur’s new identity.

“Who do I look like?”

Dom cocks his head to one side. “You look like an Arthur. Not very much like your father.” Arthur nods. He had gotten that a lot growing up. He looked very much like his mother. “Are you asking for help choosing a new name?” Arthur feels his face flush and he nods.

“How about Jacob Bloom?” Arthur eyes Dom suspiciously. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable taking my father’s name. Did you take yours?” Dom’s eyes go dark and his face goes stony. “Yes,” he breathes after a time, his voice strained and Arthur definitely feels he struck a nerve. He wants to press Dom further but there’s a look in Dom’s eyes that says: “cease and desist”. Arthur thinks it’s a shame really as they both could commiserate on their fathers but he can’t force Dom to talk about it.

“If you don’t like it then just get back to me by the end of the day. Russell knows someone that can get the paperwork…”

“No, its fine,” Arthur interrupts, shooting him an apologetic grin. “Jacob Bloom is fine,” he plasters a fake grin on his face. It doesn’t really matter what his name is right? He’ll still be Arthur…

“Ok,” Dom nods his head a little, crossing his arms tightly across his chest. “Just remember that Arthur Marek doesn’t exist anymore here. You’ll only be called Arthur by us and even then we may have to address you as Jacob depending on the situation. Can you live with the name?”

Arthur nods vigorously and maybe a bit too eagerly and Miles’ words of caution about tumbling down the rabbit hole echo in his brain.

“Ok. I’ll tell Russell so we’ll get the ball rolling. Sorry to bother you,” and he swiftly removes himself from the door frame and slips back into the main warehouse. Arthur listens to his footfalls echo and fade and then Arthur is alone again. Arthur should feel used to it but people were wrapping themselves up in his life and for the first time he didn’t feel utterly alone.

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Part 3 is Here