Thank You Lycaon...
It's been 6 months knowing that Lycaon will disband.
From now, there are 2 months and 6 days left.
Many of my friends accepted it and was able to stay strong while being a fan.
I am just a weak one ok? I just have to complain and write about my feelings and my journey of giving all my fandom heart to this band.
Before going to Japan, I was a cheerful, hopeful fan who was just happy being able to get one photosession ticket with Lycaon.
Now after I'm back, I am still not satisfied with 9 photos I took with them within the month I was in Japan.
Technically 3/9 were failed shots and I meant really failed as in you cannot see my face at all due to various stupid reasons.
I am not unsatisfied because of that though, I am just unsatisfied that I never got to do a hug pose with Yuuki because I am such a freaken scardy cat. I did a hug pose with Kouki(D=OUT) and Xian(XYLORiDE) but I could not have the nerves to do so for Yuuki because ..... He's my #1 favorite Vkei artist and I am simply just too nervous.
Honestly, many people say there shouldn't be a distinction between new fan and old.
There is. There may be no difference in how much the old fans and new fans love the band, but I cannot deny the fact that I know so little about the band itself and its members.
I am reading some magazine translations of Lycaon(mostly just Yuuki's parts) and listening to their older songs but I cannot help but have an uneasy feeling. I feel like I don't want to read this. I cannot get myself to read this. I cannot have myself be attached to this band even more than I already am. Honestly, I never would have guessed that within half a year, Lycaon has not only became my favorite band, I became attached to Yuuki as a person. I think he is amazing. On stage and in person. Everyone else as well actually.
I think Lycaon is perfect:
- Yuuki, the gorgeous beauty
- Satoshi, the positive vibe joker always with a smile
- Hiyuu, the damn sexy beast
- Zero, the quiet caring doll
- Ichiro, the "comedian"
At least that's how I see them as.
During those 5 weeks I was in Japan, my purpose of going there was for Lycaon. (I did attend summer school there though)
I've done so much stupid things just for Lycaon and spent so much just to see them.
In the end, I would laugh about all the stupid things I've done but I surprised myself a bit by how much dedication I have to follow this band. I went out of my way and skipped some classes just for them and I have not regret a single thing.
Lycaon and their music is a drug.
But thanks for the one month of great memories!
Since I cannot handle disbandments in a positive manner,
I will most likely take a break from Vkei fandom after Lycaon disbands.
And will come back the day Yuuki comes back.
