hear my motor purrrr......
i need to get out of this funk. i've gained like 15lbs since last summer, i'd lost hope with the job-search thing, i've about 70% given up on JET, i've been eating anything that isn't nailed down to the floor... it's just bad. i know that i was stressed, and i know that i'm getting over mac, but this is too much and i'm done now.
to kick-start myself out of the funk, i called mikako. we talked for almost an hour and a half, and it was really awesome to hear her voice again. we talked about all sorts of stuff- camping, working, sleeping, the night sky, our hopes and dreams. it was lovely and relaxing, and after awhile, i stopped worrying about my japanese being weird and just enjoyed conversing with her.
we went to the vineyard, and yesterday, i went on my first jog since forever. it felt good, except for all of the pollen in my lungs, and for the soreness today. i ended up doing sprints on the way back, so that's probably what did it. but it feels good to be sore again- i haven't felt that since before the end of track season.
another thing i did, that was really scary, was to let go and go for the baby thing again. like i said, i have 70% lost hope with the JET program. they say if i sit tight, i'll probably be upgraded eventually, but when i thought about it... what do i want to do more? i can work and do volunteer international things... i'm not sure if i can do international things and volunteer with them. so i bit the bullet and mailed her. and that was freaking HARD to do without the tutors. i don't always ask them a lot, but having bunsuke or hiro or ize or nao there when i need to know whether you need a wa rather than a ga, or an o rather than a go, it makes it a lot easier. now i'm triple checking my work, just because getting the position means so much to me... it's kind of intense.
the reason why i mailed is becuase i was on japanjobs.com or whatever the heck it is looking for things that i'm not really interested in... just a regular job, administrative assistant or whatever- only in japan. so i figured, if i'm applying for this stuff, i may as well start looking at what i actually want to do, and if the choice comes down to JET or my other option, i can decide who to turn down then.
it especially makes sense to go for it because mikako said that occur would support me if i decided to come over, as far as housing and what not. if i can make enough money working part time now to afford a plane ticket and some money for food, they can help me with lodging until i can find an apartment and stuff, so we'll see what happens. maybe this is the opportunity that i'm looking for ^_^
anyway, i need to get my resume together so that i can apply to other companies in that sector, becuase i know of two that are hiring now.
in other news, my grandfather's birthday party was really fun. it was awesome to spend time with the family and meet all of the cousins who i had heard about but never knew. also, all of the old people were talking about back in their day, which i always think is interesting. they talked about WWII and the Korean War, the "faggots ball" in NY with all of the trannies and how my great grandmother often took my grandfather there, and somehow all of my grandfather's friends were gay ^_^ about this restaraunt that they went to where all of the waiters were drag-kings and the dancers were drag queens (now, how my great grandmother knew about all of the gay places in the city, we will never know ^_~). they talked about planes and life and love... it was amazing. i felt like i was in the middle of a documentary!
so yeah, it was a good time. and now, i have a fic to write ^_^ TAMARA you can expect that by tomorrow! i wanted to have it done today, but i left my computer at home!
tata!
to kick-start myself out of the funk, i called mikako. we talked for almost an hour and a half, and it was really awesome to hear her voice again. we talked about all sorts of stuff- camping, working, sleeping, the night sky, our hopes and dreams. it was lovely and relaxing, and after awhile, i stopped worrying about my japanese being weird and just enjoyed conversing with her.
we went to the vineyard, and yesterday, i went on my first jog since forever. it felt good, except for all of the pollen in my lungs, and for the soreness today. i ended up doing sprints on the way back, so that's probably what did it. but it feels good to be sore again- i haven't felt that since before the end of track season.
another thing i did, that was really scary, was to let go and go for the baby thing again. like i said, i have 70% lost hope with the JET program. they say if i sit tight, i'll probably be upgraded eventually, but when i thought about it... what do i want to do more? i can work and do volunteer international things... i'm not sure if i can do international things and volunteer with them. so i bit the bullet and mailed her. and that was freaking HARD to do without the tutors. i don't always ask them a lot, but having bunsuke or hiro or ize or nao there when i need to know whether you need a wa rather than a ga, or an o rather than a go, it makes it a lot easier. now i'm triple checking my work, just because getting the position means so much to me... it's kind of intense.
the reason why i mailed is becuase i was on japanjobs.com or whatever the heck it is looking for things that i'm not really interested in... just a regular job, administrative assistant or whatever- only in japan. so i figured, if i'm applying for this stuff, i may as well start looking at what i actually want to do, and if the choice comes down to JET or my other option, i can decide who to turn down then.
it especially makes sense to go for it because mikako said that occur would support me if i decided to come over, as far as housing and what not. if i can make enough money working part time now to afford a plane ticket and some money for food, they can help me with lodging until i can find an apartment and stuff, so we'll see what happens. maybe this is the opportunity that i'm looking for ^_^
anyway, i need to get my resume together so that i can apply to other companies in that sector, becuase i know of two that are hiring now.
in other news, my grandfather's birthday party was really fun. it was awesome to spend time with the family and meet all of the cousins who i had heard about but never knew. also, all of the old people were talking about back in their day, which i always think is interesting. they talked about WWII and the Korean War, the "faggots ball" in NY with all of the trannies and how my great grandmother often took my grandfather there, and somehow all of my grandfather's friends were gay ^_^ about this restaraunt that they went to where all of the waiters were drag-kings and the dancers were drag queens (now, how my great grandmother knew about all of the gay places in the city, we will never know ^_~). they talked about planes and life and love... it was amazing. i felt like i was in the middle of a documentary!
so yeah, it was a good time. and now, i have a fic to write ^_^ TAMARA you can expect that by tomorrow! i wanted to have it done today, but i left my computer at home!
tata!