breakup afterthoughts (boku wa kimi no me no naka ni boku no me wo mitsuketa)
i can't sleep.
there is an eclipse in 20 minutes. i want to call her and see if she is awake. maybe we can go watch it together.
so, we broke up today. it usually takes things a good night to sink in.
the more i think about it, the more i wonder or not we are making the right decision. it was a mutual decision to end things, yes. but now i am having second thoughts.
thinking about what we talked about, about all the changes we made for each other, and how most of those were positive changes... and how the good times were really good, but the bad times were really bad...
are we focusing too much on the negative?
she says that she doesn't want me to change my style of loving. at this point, i actually wouldn't have a big problem with tweaking it a bit. because when we kissed today, it felt right.
it also seemed like when we were talking... after we were talking, she was holding something back, and all of it came out in those kisses, which i think were the most feeling one's that we've had in a long time.
so i think i want to talk to her again, and see... are we doing the right thing? are we not? 'cause at this point i can't tell, and i'm really torn.
the summer was awful. it sucked ass. but, i guess i've become a much more forgiving person??
here is what i want, if not a breakup. i would like to start from the beginning again. not as a real relationship, but something much looser and see where it takes us. see what happens.
i feel like i am stuck in the movie eternal sunshine of a spotless mind.
and then the side of me that is happy that we are broken up knows that sometimes love is not enough. because i think love, we have. but, yeah... i learned that from watching my previous ex. sometimes, it's better just to let love be, and find a new love with someone better for you.
but i did think that she was the one for awhile... i wonder if she ever thought that...
anyway, those are my thoughts. and i think they are my final thoughts. and perhaps i'll talk to her about them tomorrow.
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
now, either an attempt at sleep, or an attempt to view the lunar eclipse through the clouds.
there is an eclipse in 20 minutes. i want to call her and see if she is awake. maybe we can go watch it together.
so, we broke up today. it usually takes things a good night to sink in.
the more i think about it, the more i wonder or not we are making the right decision. it was a mutual decision to end things, yes. but now i am having second thoughts.
thinking about what we talked about, about all the changes we made for each other, and how most of those were positive changes... and how the good times were really good, but the bad times were really bad...
are we focusing too much on the negative?
she says that she doesn't want me to change my style of loving. at this point, i actually wouldn't have a big problem with tweaking it a bit. because when we kissed today, it felt right.
it also seemed like when we were talking... after we were talking, she was holding something back, and all of it came out in those kisses, which i think were the most feeling one's that we've had in a long time.
so i think i want to talk to her again, and see... are we doing the right thing? are we not? 'cause at this point i can't tell, and i'm really torn.
the summer was awful. it sucked ass. but, i guess i've become a much more forgiving person??
here is what i want, if not a breakup. i would like to start from the beginning again. not as a real relationship, but something much looser and see where it takes us. see what happens.
i feel like i am stuck in the movie eternal sunshine of a spotless mind.
and then the side of me that is happy that we are broken up knows that sometimes love is not enough. because i think love, we have. but, yeah... i learned that from watching my previous ex. sometimes, it's better just to let love be, and find a new love with someone better for you.
but i did think that she was the one for awhile... i wonder if she ever thought that...
anyway, those are my thoughts. and i think they are my final thoughts. and perhaps i'll talk to her about them tomorrow.
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
now, either an attempt at sleep, or an attempt to view the lunar eclipse through the clouds.