[fic] Skincrawler
Title: Skincrawler
Author: MikkyBoom
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Henry/Eunhyuk/Tablo
Warnings(?): Uhhh, smut? xD
Note: Beta'd by heythere_hannah as usual, but then I added stuff, so there's bound to be a couple of mistakes. This was something that came up when I was spazzing at ishougen about her awesome HenBlo she wrote, and my cemented belief that BloHyuk exists. xD So there came this, and she's writing one too, so you should be on the look out for hers! :D
A lot of times, Henry doesn't feel as if he fits quite right in his skin. A lot of times, Henry think that something's off, something's quirked, something’s running underneath his skin and muscle that he can't pinpoint.
Henry feels this in only two places, two instances. He feels it when he's sitting around with the members, and they're talking about a girl, and Henry realizes that he still doesn't quite understand what exactly happens during sex. That thing under his skin runs as he realizes that he's almost nineteen and he's never had sex and he’s never seen sex and the only closest thing he's gotten to sex was standing in the shower with his head underneath the pouring water with his hand resting lightly on himself, wandering if it would be worth it to just do it by himself. He calls himself a fool and all kinds of other names when he can't bring himself to do it and he turns the water as cold as it can get.
Henry also feels as if he's not quite right when Eunhyuk stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his cell phone pressed against his ear and saying "Tablo-shi? What are you doing tonight?" or when Henry sees Tablo at some broadcasting station or another and the older man rubs his hair and grins at him and calls him "China-Hyuk" and disappears around the corner with Mithra or Tukutz, or when Henry sees Eunhyuk opening the dorm door and Tablo’s standing outside and Eunhyuk leaves with a grin over his shoulder or Tablo comes in with a bottle of soju.
Henry hides himself away when Tablo comes over and everyone, or whoever's at their dorm at the time, gets drunk and laughs through the whole night and tells stories at the top of their lungs because when you're drunk, the world's collapsed around your ears and you're at the top of Mount Everest while everyone's stumbling around at the bottom.
Or rather, Henry thinks that must be why. Another thing Henry’s never done is drink. Henry’s life has been focused on his violin, school, and then his dancing. Now his life is learning Chinese and learning Korean and trying to hold his English in his head while he learns dance routines and formalities and tries hard to call everyone hyung.
Henry wonders if maybe he'll always be at this phase, and he'll just learn how to ignore that he doesn't feel quite complete.
So the others get drunk, and Henry sits in his room and reads Harry Potter or listens to Epik High's new record because even though he can understand only the occasional Korean. It feels like Christmas every time he listens to an Epik High song and there's an entire English rap by Tablo hidden in the verses. Henry knows every syllable of English in the new record. Or sometimes, Henry sighs and puts "One Love" on repeat because when he hears that song, Eunhyuk sounds like a celebrity, someone to look up to, and not the loud but-not-as-loud-as-Kangin-and-Heechul hyung that never seems to be quite on point with the rest of the group... well, except for Donghae, but that's an entirely different story because Henry didn't realize that there could be anyone as... as special as Donghae before he met Eunhyuk and Yesung and realized that there were three of them. All different, but incredibly identical in the way that none of them quite understand polite social customs.
It’s not as loud tonight, Henry hears quiet giggles and relatively quiet voices, and he's only gotten through the first chapter of the last Harry potter when the house seems to get entirely silent. Henry looks up, and it's not even two yet. Everyone must be tired out, he thinks. But he's glad for it, his stomach's been grumbling, and now he can brave the kitchen to get something to eat. Stepping over passed out bodies is nothing compared to having to dodge drunken questions that get more and more personal as the empty bottles pile up.
It’s almost eerie how silent everything seems when Henry slips out of his room. The hall is dark, and he walks carefully. The last time, he'd stepped on Ryeowook, who couldn't handle alcohol either, and hadn't been able to make it to his room. But there's no one tonight, and Henry finally sees that Hankyung and Siwon are passed out on the living couch together, side-by-side, and Yesung is on the floor hugging Shindong’s knee, and Kangin’s using Shindong’s arm as a pillow. Mithra is here too, Henry realizes with a start, he hadn't realized. He and Heechul are a ball of arms and legs and hair, and Henry doesn't even want to try and figure what belongs to who.
But he's missing two, and he wonders where Eunhyuk and Tablo are passed out at. Henry thinks about it, and he tells himself that as long as they're not awake in the kitchen, he doesn't care where they are. That thing under his skin lurches, shifts, and Henry tries hard to ignore it.
Henry shakes his head, and is steps away from the kitchen, and oh, there's Eunhyuk and Tablo, and oh, they're kissing. It takes a few moments for Henry’s brain to kick in, and he spins back around and leans against the wall next to the entry way to the kitchen and wonders why his heart is beating faster and faster. He blames it on the lateness of the night and the hunger in his stomach and he peeks around the corner, and he has to admit to himself that he’s seeing what he thinks he's seeing.
Tablo is leaning against the counter and Eunhyuk is pressed against him, hands on either side of his waist on the white tile of the countertop. Eunhyuk’s hair falls just slightly over his cheeks, but Henry can see clearly where their mouths meet. He sees how tightly they're pressed against each other, and he wonders why there's movement at Eunhyuk’s waist for only a second before his face turns red because Tablo’s hands aren't in sight, but Eunhyuk’s making soft panting noises. Henry thinks that the monster in his skin might jump out and explode, but Eunhyuk chooses that moment to pull his mouth away from Tablo’s and hiss "tighter" and that gets Henry moving.
He’s in the room before he realizes, and he stands by his bed and tries to get his breathing back.
Henry feels that feeling again, that feeling of not quite being all there, and it feels worse then before. He climbs into his bed and pulls the covers over his head and replays Eunhyuk and Tablo in his mind until he falls asleep.
---
Henry’s never thought about being gay. Or gay people in general. His parents never spoke of it, and his friends never did either. He never had gay friends, never knew any gay people. He wonders if he's supposed to hate them, because usually that what everyone else does.
Henry sits on the floor in the middle of the empty practice room, and his violin is a nice familiar weight on his shoulder. He closes his eyes and lets his hands do what they want. He’s playing something new, something he's never even heard in his mind, and he sways back and forth and side to side and thinks about Eunhyuk and Tablo.
Do the others know? Do they care? Or maybe they were just drunk? Henry absently hears himself play a note that's too sharp. He remembers the way Eunhyuk answers his cell phone when its Tablo calling, and he remembers the way Tablo says Hyuk when he calls Henry "China-Hyuk". No, they weren't just drunk.
Henry might be behind in some things, but he's not stupid, thanks.
It’s easy enough to rise to his feet, still playing, and Henry smiles to himself as he glides around the room.
They suit each other very well. Like... well, Henry thinks they match like Leeteuk and Kangin match, they way Ryeowook and Yesung match, the way Siwon and Hankyung-gege match even though Siwon stills kneels beside his bed and prays at night, the way Shindong and Heechul match when Heechul wants to match.
Henry wonders why he feels hurt.
Henry can't stop thinking about the kitchen and Tablo and Eunhyuk. He thinks about them when he's in bed, and it takes all his willpower not to touch himself. He feels like a pervert, thinking about getting off to people that he knows, respects, so he just falls asleep aching and sighing.
He watches them when they're together, and he sees things he never noticed before. Tablo comes over a lot, maybe even more then some of the members. When Tablo and Eunhyuk are in a room together, they sit next to each other or stand with shoulders brushing or watch each other if they're separated. Henry catches Eunhyuk giving Tablo a wink and Tablo blows him a kiss that makes Eunhyuk’s grin get brighter.
Henry doesn't know when he starts wanting Eunhyuk’s winks and Tablo’s kisses for himself.
---
They’re drunk again.
Henry sighs and listens to the noise. It’s not loud like last time, even though last time wasn't as loud as the time before. Tonight, it's only Eunhyuk and Tablo and Donghae and Kibum sitting around the living room or the tiny dining room table, sipping soju and beer in slow sips instead of deep gulps.
But that doesn't mean Henry can be off his guard though. Donghae and Kibum are sly in the way that they don't drink fast, and they don't drink loud, but they drink a lot, and if they reach that level, they can be just as dangerous as Yesung or Heechul. The first and only time Henry had gotten pulled into conversation with a drunken Kibum and Donghae, they'd almost gotten out of him that he'd never had sex and he's never even masturbated either.
Henry shudders at the thought, and stretches on his bed. He stares at the ceiling and he has to use the bathroom. Could he make it? He slides off his bed and presses his ear to the door and there's soft laughing coming from the kitchen. That seems all right. At least he knows they're still in there.
Henry opens the door as quietly as he can, and runs to the bathroom, and closes the door, and sighs in relief. He made it.
It's when he flushes the toilet and washes his hands that he wonders if Eunhyuk and Tablo are together again... Or if they will be, when the night seems more like morning, and everyone's asleep... Will they stand in the kitchen together, pressed tight again, whispers and hands and flashes of teeth?
The thought makes the thing in Henry's skin crawl down his spine in a shiver, and he feels something just slightly familiar in his stomach that seems to fall lower and lower with every breath he takes. He leans against the door of the bathroom, his breath coming just a little too fast, his mind spinning at the same rate.
When his hands fall to the hem of his basketball shorts, Henry really feels as if he's not there. He feels like a ghost, a puff of wind wavering just outside his head and watching and motionless.
The first touch is because of Eunhyuk's smile when he sees Tablo, the second touch is because of Tablo's voice when he calls Eunhyuk, the long slide upwards and down because of the way they sometimes turn to Henry and tease and laugh. The jerk of his hand away from his skin is the fact that Henry is standing in his bathroom thinking of two of his hyungs that are just a hallway away, and the fact that Henry doesn't, no matter how silly it sounds, Henry doesn't want his first time experiencing what every one goes on and on about to be about two people that that are happy being two people, not three.
Henry doesn't cry, but he feels as if the tears are just about to spill over.
It’s when he washes his hands again, and then a third time, that he wonders if maybe he should've never come to the bathroom, because now he has to get back to his room, and he can't think straight. He decides to run for it and takes off to his room before he can second-guess and third-guess and end up falling asleep on the tile. In his room, he leans against his closed door with his cheek against the cool wood to listen for any following footsteps and sighs and grins wryly to himself because maybe he could be a spy like he always wanted to. He turns to throw himself in his bed, throw himself into anything but memories and thoughts but oh my god Tablo and Eunhyuk are making out on his bed.
"What are you doing?!" The question comes out louder then he meant it to be, and he clamps a hand over his mouth as Tablo and Eunhyuk jump apart, and Eunhyuk even manages to fall off the bed. Henry stares at Tablo, who stares at him, and Eunhyuk who's pulling himself up off the floor. "What are you doing, what are you doing in my bed, are you that drunk?" Henry wonders how he knows all these words in Korean, but realizes he's startled and freaking out in English. He can't have this happening now, not when it's not quite dark enough in this room to hide that he's carrying around a bulge around his crotch that hasn't managed to fade away yet.
"Henry?" Tablo shakes his head, blinks, looks around. "Shit, we're not in Eunhyuk’s room. Shit. Sorry kid." Tablo’s talking in English, and Henry tells himself that right now's not the time to turn into a fangirl.
Henry opens his mouth to ask politely that they get out now but he's cut off when Eunhyuk slides back to the floor and buries his head into the cloth of Henry’s bed and laughs and laughs, his shoulders shaking hard enough that Henry thinks of seizures.
Eunhyuk’s saying something in between laughs and quick intakes of air, and Henry can't make it out, but from the look on Tablo’s face, he understands fine, and he turns to look Henry up and down.
Henry slides into the chair at his desk, hoping that Tablo didn't see anything Henry didn't want him to see, and stares at Tablo and wonders why this is happening to him, and why tonight of all times.
His skin crawls and Tablo’s mouth and cheeks are flushed, and he looks awkward and uncomfortable. "Kid- Henry. I’m sorry..." he trails off, eyes big and blinking.
Henry shakes his head because what exactly do you say in this situation? Music notes run in his head because he's got a great idea of the perfect score for this scene, but not the words. He stares down at his hands and imagines Tablo getting up and picking Eunhyuk up, Eunhyuk who he thinks has passed out with his head in Henry’s covers. He imagines Tablo leaving and imagines not seeing him or Eunhyuk until he's maybe forty. He’s never going to be able to sleep in his bed again, because Tablo and Eunhyuk were there, and he's going to smell them and imagine that split second he saw of tongues and hands on skin just barely exposed. Henry has enough worries; he doesn't want to worry about this too. like it's not enough that half the female population of Korea hates his guts, now they might hate him even more because he keeps thinking about two of Korea’s most loved musicians and how they look pressed against each other. Henry’s imagining all kinds of nightmares when there are fingers on his chin and he looks up. Eunhyuk’s not passed out anymore, if he ever was, because he looks down at Henry with an expression Henry can't read.
"If I kiss you... will you hate me, Henry-ah? Because I’m pretty drunk right now, and I really want to kiss you." Eunhyuk’s voice is softly slurred, and Henry, somewhere in between the first kiss and you, forgot every word he's ever learned. He stares up at Eunhyuk and Eunhyuk takes his silence as acceptance because there are lips on his. Eunhyuk’s lips alone taste like soju and something that he thinks must be Tablo.
This is Henry’s first kiss, because Henry’s never had time for kisses, and he wishes he were drunk too because then maybe he could do something more then clench his hands into fists and let his eyes close.
Henry registers that this isn't a kiss like the ones you see in the movies because Eunhyuk’s not trying to eat him, his mouth moves soft and light. And then Eunhyuk’s mouth pulls away, comes back, pulls away, comes back in butterfly touches. Henry thinks that maybe he should've stayed in the bathroom after all, because this, this isn't going to be good in the morning with headaches.
He pulls away, and for a kiss that wasn't that heavy, he's out of breath and his head is dizzy. He leans forward because he doesn't want to go backwards. His forehead rests against Eunhyuk’s stomach and the strong in and out feels like a lullaby.
"Henry-ah..."
Henry looks up, slowly, and there's Tablo, he forgot all about Tablo.
"Do you remember, a few nights ago? You saw me and Eunhyuk in the kitchen, and we saw you too." Tablo’s voice is soft and hesitant, and he steps closer, closer, until he's standing with a hand on the small of Eunhyuk’s back and one on Henry’s shoulder, looking down at him and he has the same look on his face that Eunhyuk had later.
Henry thinks for a second that he should deny it, but Henry is a horrible liar, and he hates lying anyways, so he just nods.
Tablo lets out a shaky breath. "Will you- I mean, we want to-" he stutters, and Henry is almost in awe. He’d always thought that the one thing Tablo would never, could never be, was speechless. The thought that Henry, even though he didn't mean to, had made Tablo stutter makes him feel proud.
When Henry reaches up and touches Tablo’s hand on his shoulder, he realizes with a start that the creepy tingling under his skin, his monster that stretched out and clawed was gone, replaced with something that felt liquid and a lot better.
Tablo grins, grins at Henry, looks up and grins at Eunhyuk, who grins back and laughs. When Tablo looks back at Henry, Henry knows what the look in his eyes is, because it's what he feels in the bottom of his stomach right now.
Eunhyuk takes Henry’s hands and pulls him up, and he pulls him towards the bed. Eunhyuk sits down, shakes his head a little, laughs again. Henry can tell he's still drunk, still tipsy, but it's okay. Eunhyuk climbs up, and Henry never realized his legs were that long or that thin, but he doesn't get to look for long because Tablo pushes him forward, and Henry’s crawling up and crawling into Eunhyuk’s lap, which feels like something he's always done.
Eunhyuk runs his hands up Henry’s back, down Henry’s back, and Henry braces himself on Eunhyuk’s shoulders, because he's sitting on something that has to be Eunhyuk and that makes his breath come shorter. Eunhyuk’s hands slip under Henry’s shirt, his fingers are warm, Henry shivers. He leans forward and presses his mouth against Eunhyuk, softly. He doesn't know what to do, isn't sure what to do with lips and tongue and teeth, but he shouldn't have worried. Tablo’s body is oddly familiar against his back, Tablo’s mouth pressing against the back of his neck makes him gasp, suddenly. And then Eunhyuk’s there, his tongue is wet against Henry’s and his teeth are biting and Henry has no clue what to do except to copy what Eunhyuk does. Eunhyuk makes noises into his mouth, fingers clenching into Henry’s waist and even Henry can tell that they're good noises and he wants to hear them louder and louder.
Henry likes kissing, likes being sandwiched between Eunhyuk and Tablo. He wiggles on Eunhyuk’s lap because he's happy, excited, and that movement makes Eunhyuk let out a noise that's entirely different from anything Henry’s heard that night. It’s deep, a groan, and it seems to come from his very soul. Henry likes that noise a lot, a lot more then the others, and he wiggles again, slowly, testing. Eunhyuk makes the noise again, so Henry wiggles again.
He jumps when Tablo’s hands come around him and his fingers slide just under the hem of his shorts. Henry stills because he knows where Tablo’s hands are heading, and Eunhyuk pulls their mouth apart to watch Henry’s face. Henry looks behind him. Tablo watches him back, something almost solemn on his face as his hands slide into Henry’s boxers and rub against the skin of his navel, then lower and lower. Henry loses his breath when Tablo’s hands close around him.
The touch is light at first, almost not even there, but it gets tighter, harder. It's nothing like Henry's stolen touches in the bathroom only minutes ago. Henry’s eyes drift closed, his breath hitches when Tablo kisses his cheek, kisses his neck, bites softly at his shoulder. Henry wonders if maybe he could die like this, warm and safe. Everything feels like its in slow motion, quicksand that isn't quite quick enough, but that illusion shatters and breaks and crumples when Tablo’s fingers twist, slide, and Henry’s boneless, head falling back and letting out a soft cry.
Is this what he's been missing out on, truly? Because if it is, Henry hates himself and loves himself at the same time. He hates himself because he could've had this much earlier, but he's glad in a way because it's his first time and he's not alone in his shower with only his imagination and his soap. Instead, he's with Eunhyuk, Eunhyuk who's fallen back into the bed and watches with eyes that aren't quiet all there and watches and rolls his hips, and he's with Tablo who's a second shirt on his back and hot fingers on his skin.
Something tingles in Henry’s stomach, travels up his stomach and his back at the same time. He gasps, tugs on Tablo’s arm. "I’m- I- Tablo, ohohohohohoh-"
Henry comes for the first time in a quiet rush of air and his fingers digging into the skin of Tablo’s wrist. If he thought he was boneless before, then he doesn't know what he is now because he can't hold his body together. He slumps forward and pants and sometimes his body shudders. He thinks he hears laughter as he's rolled off Eunhyuk’s body, and he feels his shorts and his boxers being pulled away, his arms are lifted and moved for his shirt to be pulled off. Henry wants to sleep, but at the same time, he wants more and more.
Henry lays and wonders, and when no one touches him, he turns his head and Tablo’s not wearing clothes anymore and neither is Eunhyuk. Tablo’s taken what has just seconds ago Henry’s place on Eunhyuk’s lap, pressed chest to chest and mouth to mouth. They’re moving against each other, hands tangling into each other's hair. The longer Henry watches the more his newfound breath leaves again, and the more his sleepiness fades away. In fact, he feels wide awake, and he moves closer, presses against Eunhyuk’s side to watch. Eunhyuk pulls away from Tablo to pull Henry close and kiss him instead. Eunhyuk’s eyes are hazy, out of focus.. That grin he's been wearing is still there, wide and unbelievably sweet, but Henry doesn't think about it when Eunhyuk’s mouth is doing other things then smiling.
"Henry, Henry, Henry..." Tablo’s voice is rough in Henry’s ear.
He looks up, pulls away from Eunhyuk’s mouth, and startles himself when he reaches up and pulls Tablo’s mouth down to his. When Tablo’s mouth doesn't taste like Eunhyuk’s, he realizes that this is the first time he's kissed Tablo. It makes him press his mouth harder against him. Henry untangles his hands from wherever they are, because he doesn't really know, and he puts them on Tablo’s chest. Tablo is skinny, tiny, he looks like Henry. He’s smooth everywhere. Eunhyuk presses against Henry’s side, and Henry feels him hot and heavy against his thigh as Henry’s hands fall to Tablo’s waist.
He hesitates, he's not sure, not sure at all, but when Tablo’s teeth come down on his bottom lip and Eunhyuk hand wrap around him, he doesn't. He closes his hand around Tablo and Tablo hisses into his mouth. Henry opens his hand closes it again. his hand slides easily up and down, and he tries to do the thing with his fingers that Tablo did, and he's sure he didn't quite get it, but it must've been fine for Tablo, because the older man drops a sudden "oh fuck" into Henry’s mouth.
Henry feels proud of that, and he tastes the words with his tongue.
His mind spins, his body moves without him telling him to. He thinks that maybe this will go on forever. Then he thinks that maybe not, because Tablo’s pulling away, and he leaves the bed entirely, and Henry watches him with half-closed eyes. Tablo fumbles around with clothes on the floor. Eunhyuk licks Henry’s cheek and tightens his hand and Henry cries out.
Tablo’s back, and he kisses Eunhyuk softly before pulling Henry away. He kisses Henry too before he turns Henry around and sits him down on Eunhyuk’s lap. Tablo presses him down and Henry gladly presses his chest against Eunhyuk’s. Eunhyuk tries to catch his mouth, but Henry wants to know what Eunhyuk’s skin tastes like. He presses kisses into Eunhyuk’s smooth skin, laps at a nipple. Eunhyuk groans.
Henry likes the way Eunhyuk’s nipple tightens against his tongue. He kisses it, looks back over at his shoulder to find out what Tablo’s doing when something warm touches him somewhere he really never thought he'd ever be touched. Henry’s eyes fly open and he stares at Tablo. "Tablo, what are you- ah!"
Something’s pressing in and oh fucking god it's Tablo’s fingers. It doesn't hurt but it doesn't feel good and it's weird and Henry’s not sure he likes the way it moves in and out. "Tablo, I-" he tries again to say something but Tablo’s pressing in another fingers and okay, now it hurts just a little.
"Relax, Henry. Breathe." Tablo’s voice seems far away, but steady, so Henry puts his head down on Eunhyuk’s chest and breathes in and out. Eunhyuk laughs, his body shakes.
"It’ll feel better, I promise." Eunhyuk’s voice is just slightly slurred, but his hands are sure as they rub Henry’s back. They slide down his sides and back up and down again, and Henry’s distracted for a few seconds. In those seconds, Tablo leans down, kisses the small of Henry’s back and oh fuck oh fuck, Henry thinks that maybe Tablo’s just decided to shove his whole hand up into him. It burns but it doesn't quite reach intolerable. Soon enough, it's just Tablo’s fingers moving slowly in and out, and Henry wonders in a quite voice in the back of his mind if that's supposed to feel good right before fire shoots up his spine and to his fingertips.
"OH MY GOD."
Tablo laughs, Eunhyuk laughs, Henry pants, and he feels the fire again, and again, and before he knows it, he's pressing against Tablo’s fingers and arching his back.So, this is sex, Henry’s mind tells him laughingly, but Henry can't bother to answer himself. Tablo’s fingers are gone and Henry feels empty. He looks back over his shoulder, licks his dry lips. Tablo just grins, runs a hand over his thigh. "On him," he says, nodding at Eunhyuk.
Henry looks forward again, looks down at Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk’s smiles at him, raises his hands to cup Henry’s cheeks and smooth his hair. Henry raises himself on his knees, and he holds Eunhyuk in his hand, but he's not sure how exactly he has to go about this, but another pair of hands joins his. Tablo guides Eunhyuk in and Henry down, and Eunhyuk’s a lot bigger then Tablo’s fingers. It hurts again, uncomfortable, and Henry frowns, moves his hips.
"Oh..."
His voice is soft because something's clicked. Maybe his body knew all along what to do, and was just waiting for Henry to stop thinking, stop planning. He rests his hands on Eunhyuk’s chest and rises up. He sinks back down. Eunhyuk’s eyes widen instead of closing, and he holds onto Henry’s waist and watches his lap, where he and Henry are joined. Henry bites his bottom lip, shakes his hair out of his eyes. He moves a little faster, and ah that was good. He starts to pant, Eunhyuk’s hands urge him faster. His hips move up when Henry falls down and electricity sparks in his body. It’s the fire from before but it feels bigger and brighter. Henry craves it this time. His mind tells him that when everything is over, he'll have to feel embarrassed because he's bouncing like the porn stars his friends used to talk about and he's crying out and moaning.
He’s close to coming, he knows the feeling know, and he wants it to hurry, but Eunhyuk stops. Henry snaps his eyes open and starts to say something, anything to get Eunhyuk to move again, but Eunhyuk’s eyes have finally fallen closed while his mouth falls open. Henry feels something brush against his back and he looks to find Tablo pushing into Eunhyuk. Henry falls forward a little because Tablo pulls Eunhyuk’s hips up. It makes Eunhyuk slip deeper inside of him. Henry groans and moves in small circles. He’s impatient to get moving.
Finally, finally, Tablo starts moving and that's Henry’s sign to go. He’s disappointed because it doesn't match at first. He has to slow down and hold back and fall into Tablo’s rhythm because Tablo won't move to his. But it's finally synced, finally linked. Henry bites his lips and makes keening noises in the back of his throat because he wants it faster and harder. Tablo talks under his breath, sometimes English, sometimes Korean, and his words are stark and unforgiving and it only heats Henry up more. Eunhyuk seems to have just given up trying at all; his arms are over his head as he lets Tablo and Henry use his body. He sounds like a combination of Henry and Tablo, sometimes just letting out moans, sometimes whispering, talking, letting out orders that Tablo doesn't follow.
Henry thinks its torture, to be suspended right there in that time, that second that moment, where he's feeling everything and nothing at all. He reaches back and grabs Tablo’s wrist and squeezes, squeezes because he can't get enough air into his lungs to talk, and maybe Tablo realized that Henry couldn't take it anymore, that Eunhyuk was getting louder and louder, or maybe Tablo’s self control had reached his limit to because everything speeds up.
Maybe it's him yelling, maybe it's Eunhyuk, maybe all of them. That ball of perfect joy is right at his fingertips and Henry reaches, reaches as one of Tablo’s hands leaves Eunhyuk’s hips and closes around Henry and gives him one hard tug and god, he's there, he's there. Henry shudders and shudders and Eunhyuk’s watching him. Eunhyuk’s hips under his speed up, then it's Eunhyuk that jerks and Henry’s filled with sudden warmth, and Tablo falls against his back with a loud "fucking Christ."
The next time Henry can think, can breathe, Eunhyuk’s leaning over him with a hand towel that's warm and wet on his stomach, between his legs. Eunhyuk stretches out over him, rests his head on Henry’s shoulder as his arms wrap around Henry’s waist, towel and all. Henry looks to the side and finds Tablo asleep, curled into his side, already clean.
"He can't stay awake after, not when he's been drinking." Eunhyuk’s voice is a rumble against Henry’s chest.
Henry sighs and smiles and makes sure they're all touching, they're all connected before he lets his eyes fall closed again.
---
In the morning, Kibum and Donghae are bags of bone and muscle that are slumped on the couch, and Henry brings them water and painkillers.
He tries not to winch when he walks because when he does, Eunhyuk gives him a knowing grin, and it's not the sweet grin Henry remembers from his bed, but his usual I did something great, congratulate me grin that Henry sees on a daily basis and routinely ignores.
Tablo is quick kisses before he's throwing on clothes because he forgot that he's supposed to be on a TV show that afternoon and fucking hell, it's already noon!
While Eunhyuk showers, Henry pulls off his ruined bed sheets and throws them on the ground and leaves them. He lies on his stomach and tries to get through more Harry Potter.
It’s hard, because Henry can't get over the fact that he doesn't feel wrong anymore. He feels whole and complete. It’s new and strange and he wants to evaluate and analyze every part of it even as he wants to hide it in his heart and just treasure it.
---
It’s been two weeks and Henry hasn't seen Tablo at all, and Eunhyuk only in small doses because the other member is on and off shows every day. Henry doesn't like the way his heart seems to tighten. He tells himself over and over that neither Tablo nor Eunhyuk ever said anything about Henry being more then a good time while they were drunk. Henry knows that, and he tells himself not to feel abandoned, because he was never picked up in the first place.
Ryeowook and Sungmin are over tonight, and Zhoumi’s here too instead of hiding with Kyuhyun all the time, and they're drinking in the kitchen. Eunhyuk’s not home, of course Tablo’s not there. Henry hugs his new sheets close to him and tries to focus on magic and teenaged wizard angst and his phone beeps.
Henry snatches it off his dresser with hope nestled in his heart. It’s a text message, and it's from Eunhyuk, and all it says is come outside, we're waiting for you.
When Henry pulls on sneakers and runs past the others and slows to a stop outside the dorm, Tablo and Eunhyuk are leaning against Tablo’s car, arms tight around each other. When they see Henry, they both smile. Henry runs to them and finds a place easily between them.
"Let’s go drink at my place tonight," laughs Tablo.
Henry nods with a smile.
Author: MikkyBoom
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Henry/Eunhyuk/Tablo
Warnings(?): Uhhh, smut? xD
Note: Beta'd by heythere_hannah as usual, but then I added stuff, so there's bound to be a couple of mistakes. This was something that came up when I was spazzing at ishougen about her awesome HenBlo she wrote, and my cemented belief that BloHyuk exists. xD So there came this, and she's writing one too, so you should be on the look out for hers! :D
A lot of times, Henry doesn't feel as if he fits quite right in his skin. A lot of times, Henry think that something's off, something's quirked, something’s running underneath his skin and muscle that he can't pinpoint.
Henry feels this in only two places, two instances. He feels it when he's sitting around with the members, and they're talking about a girl, and Henry realizes that he still doesn't quite understand what exactly happens during sex. That thing under his skin runs as he realizes that he's almost nineteen and he's never had sex and he’s never seen sex and the only closest thing he's gotten to sex was standing in the shower with his head underneath the pouring water with his hand resting lightly on himself, wandering if it would be worth it to just do it by himself. He calls himself a fool and all kinds of other names when he can't bring himself to do it and he turns the water as cold as it can get.
Henry also feels as if he's not quite right when Eunhyuk stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his cell phone pressed against his ear and saying "Tablo-shi? What are you doing tonight?" or when Henry sees Tablo at some broadcasting station or another and the older man rubs his hair and grins at him and calls him "China-Hyuk" and disappears around the corner with Mithra or Tukutz, or when Henry sees Eunhyuk opening the dorm door and Tablo’s standing outside and Eunhyuk leaves with a grin over his shoulder or Tablo comes in with a bottle of soju.
Henry hides himself away when Tablo comes over and everyone, or whoever's at their dorm at the time, gets drunk and laughs through the whole night and tells stories at the top of their lungs because when you're drunk, the world's collapsed around your ears and you're at the top of Mount Everest while everyone's stumbling around at the bottom.
Or rather, Henry thinks that must be why. Another thing Henry’s never done is drink. Henry’s life has been focused on his violin, school, and then his dancing. Now his life is learning Chinese and learning Korean and trying to hold his English in his head while he learns dance routines and formalities and tries hard to call everyone hyung.
Henry wonders if maybe he'll always be at this phase, and he'll just learn how to ignore that he doesn't feel quite complete.
So the others get drunk, and Henry sits in his room and reads Harry Potter or listens to Epik High's new record because even though he can understand only the occasional Korean. It feels like Christmas every time he listens to an Epik High song and there's an entire English rap by Tablo hidden in the verses. Henry knows every syllable of English in the new record. Or sometimes, Henry sighs and puts "One Love" on repeat because when he hears that song, Eunhyuk sounds like a celebrity, someone to look up to, and not the loud but-not-as-loud-as-Kangin-and-Heechul hyung that never seems to be quite on point with the rest of the group... well, except for Donghae, but that's an entirely different story because Henry didn't realize that there could be anyone as... as special as Donghae before he met Eunhyuk and Yesung and realized that there were three of them. All different, but incredibly identical in the way that none of them quite understand polite social customs.
It’s not as loud tonight, Henry hears quiet giggles and relatively quiet voices, and he's only gotten through the first chapter of the last Harry potter when the house seems to get entirely silent. Henry looks up, and it's not even two yet. Everyone must be tired out, he thinks. But he's glad for it, his stomach's been grumbling, and now he can brave the kitchen to get something to eat. Stepping over passed out bodies is nothing compared to having to dodge drunken questions that get more and more personal as the empty bottles pile up.
It’s almost eerie how silent everything seems when Henry slips out of his room. The hall is dark, and he walks carefully. The last time, he'd stepped on Ryeowook, who couldn't handle alcohol either, and hadn't been able to make it to his room. But there's no one tonight, and Henry finally sees that Hankyung and Siwon are passed out on the living couch together, side-by-side, and Yesung is on the floor hugging Shindong’s knee, and Kangin’s using Shindong’s arm as a pillow. Mithra is here too, Henry realizes with a start, he hadn't realized. He and Heechul are a ball of arms and legs and hair, and Henry doesn't even want to try and figure what belongs to who.
But he's missing two, and he wonders where Eunhyuk and Tablo are passed out at. Henry thinks about it, and he tells himself that as long as they're not awake in the kitchen, he doesn't care where they are. That thing under his skin lurches, shifts, and Henry tries hard to ignore it.
Henry shakes his head, and is steps away from the kitchen, and oh, there's Eunhyuk and Tablo, and oh, they're kissing. It takes a few moments for Henry’s brain to kick in, and he spins back around and leans against the wall next to the entry way to the kitchen and wonders why his heart is beating faster and faster. He blames it on the lateness of the night and the hunger in his stomach and he peeks around the corner, and he has to admit to himself that he’s seeing what he thinks he's seeing.
Tablo is leaning against the counter and Eunhyuk is pressed against him, hands on either side of his waist on the white tile of the countertop. Eunhyuk’s hair falls just slightly over his cheeks, but Henry can see clearly where their mouths meet. He sees how tightly they're pressed against each other, and he wonders why there's movement at Eunhyuk’s waist for only a second before his face turns red because Tablo’s hands aren't in sight, but Eunhyuk’s making soft panting noises. Henry thinks that the monster in his skin might jump out and explode, but Eunhyuk chooses that moment to pull his mouth away from Tablo’s and hiss "tighter" and that gets Henry moving.
He’s in the room before he realizes, and he stands by his bed and tries to get his breathing back.
Henry feels that feeling again, that feeling of not quite being all there, and it feels worse then before. He climbs into his bed and pulls the covers over his head and replays Eunhyuk and Tablo in his mind until he falls asleep.
---
Henry’s never thought about being gay. Or gay people in general. His parents never spoke of it, and his friends never did either. He never had gay friends, never knew any gay people. He wonders if he's supposed to hate them, because usually that what everyone else does.
Henry sits on the floor in the middle of the empty practice room, and his violin is a nice familiar weight on his shoulder. He closes his eyes and lets his hands do what they want. He’s playing something new, something he's never even heard in his mind, and he sways back and forth and side to side and thinks about Eunhyuk and Tablo.
Do the others know? Do they care? Or maybe they were just drunk? Henry absently hears himself play a note that's too sharp. He remembers the way Eunhyuk answers his cell phone when its Tablo calling, and he remembers the way Tablo says Hyuk when he calls Henry "China-Hyuk". No, they weren't just drunk.
Henry might be behind in some things, but he's not stupid, thanks.
It’s easy enough to rise to his feet, still playing, and Henry smiles to himself as he glides around the room.
They suit each other very well. Like... well, Henry thinks they match like Leeteuk and Kangin match, they way Ryeowook and Yesung match, the way Siwon and Hankyung-gege match even though Siwon stills kneels beside his bed and prays at night, the way Shindong and Heechul match when Heechul wants to match.
Henry wonders why he feels hurt.
Henry can't stop thinking about the kitchen and Tablo and Eunhyuk. He thinks about them when he's in bed, and it takes all his willpower not to touch himself. He feels like a pervert, thinking about getting off to people that he knows, respects, so he just falls asleep aching and sighing.
He watches them when they're together, and he sees things he never noticed before. Tablo comes over a lot, maybe even more then some of the members. When Tablo and Eunhyuk are in a room together, they sit next to each other or stand with shoulders brushing or watch each other if they're separated. Henry catches Eunhyuk giving Tablo a wink and Tablo blows him a kiss that makes Eunhyuk’s grin get brighter.
Henry doesn't know when he starts wanting Eunhyuk’s winks and Tablo’s kisses for himself.
---
They’re drunk again.
Henry sighs and listens to the noise. It’s not loud like last time, even though last time wasn't as loud as the time before. Tonight, it's only Eunhyuk and Tablo and Donghae and Kibum sitting around the living room or the tiny dining room table, sipping soju and beer in slow sips instead of deep gulps.
But that doesn't mean Henry can be off his guard though. Donghae and Kibum are sly in the way that they don't drink fast, and they don't drink loud, but they drink a lot, and if they reach that level, they can be just as dangerous as Yesung or Heechul. The first and only time Henry had gotten pulled into conversation with a drunken Kibum and Donghae, they'd almost gotten out of him that he'd never had sex and he's never even masturbated either.
Henry shudders at the thought, and stretches on his bed. He stares at the ceiling and he has to use the bathroom. Could he make it? He slides off his bed and presses his ear to the door and there's soft laughing coming from the kitchen. That seems all right. At least he knows they're still in there.
Henry opens the door as quietly as he can, and runs to the bathroom, and closes the door, and sighs in relief. He made it.
It's when he flushes the toilet and washes his hands that he wonders if Eunhyuk and Tablo are together again... Or if they will be, when the night seems more like morning, and everyone's asleep... Will they stand in the kitchen together, pressed tight again, whispers and hands and flashes of teeth?
The thought makes the thing in Henry's skin crawl down his spine in a shiver, and he feels something just slightly familiar in his stomach that seems to fall lower and lower with every breath he takes. He leans against the door of the bathroom, his breath coming just a little too fast, his mind spinning at the same rate.
When his hands fall to the hem of his basketball shorts, Henry really feels as if he's not there. He feels like a ghost, a puff of wind wavering just outside his head and watching and motionless.
The first touch is because of Eunhyuk's smile when he sees Tablo, the second touch is because of Tablo's voice when he calls Eunhyuk, the long slide upwards and down because of the way they sometimes turn to Henry and tease and laugh. The jerk of his hand away from his skin is the fact that Henry is standing in his bathroom thinking of two of his hyungs that are just a hallway away, and the fact that Henry doesn't, no matter how silly it sounds, Henry doesn't want his first time experiencing what every one goes on and on about to be about two people that that are happy being two people, not three.
Henry doesn't cry, but he feels as if the tears are just about to spill over.
It’s when he washes his hands again, and then a third time, that he wonders if maybe he should've never come to the bathroom, because now he has to get back to his room, and he can't think straight. He decides to run for it and takes off to his room before he can second-guess and third-guess and end up falling asleep on the tile. In his room, he leans against his closed door with his cheek against the cool wood to listen for any following footsteps and sighs and grins wryly to himself because maybe he could be a spy like he always wanted to. He turns to throw himself in his bed, throw himself into anything but memories and thoughts but oh my god Tablo and Eunhyuk are making out on his bed.
"What are you doing?!" The question comes out louder then he meant it to be, and he clamps a hand over his mouth as Tablo and Eunhyuk jump apart, and Eunhyuk even manages to fall off the bed. Henry stares at Tablo, who stares at him, and Eunhyuk who's pulling himself up off the floor. "What are you doing, what are you doing in my bed, are you that drunk?" Henry wonders how he knows all these words in Korean, but realizes he's startled and freaking out in English. He can't have this happening now, not when it's not quite dark enough in this room to hide that he's carrying around a bulge around his crotch that hasn't managed to fade away yet.
"Henry?" Tablo shakes his head, blinks, looks around. "Shit, we're not in Eunhyuk’s room. Shit. Sorry kid." Tablo’s talking in English, and Henry tells himself that right now's not the time to turn into a fangirl.
Henry opens his mouth to ask politely that they get out now but he's cut off when Eunhyuk slides back to the floor and buries his head into the cloth of Henry’s bed and laughs and laughs, his shoulders shaking hard enough that Henry thinks of seizures.
Eunhyuk’s saying something in between laughs and quick intakes of air, and Henry can't make it out, but from the look on Tablo’s face, he understands fine, and he turns to look Henry up and down.
Henry slides into the chair at his desk, hoping that Tablo didn't see anything Henry didn't want him to see, and stares at Tablo and wonders why this is happening to him, and why tonight of all times.
His skin crawls and Tablo’s mouth and cheeks are flushed, and he looks awkward and uncomfortable. "Kid- Henry. I’m sorry..." he trails off, eyes big and blinking.
Henry shakes his head because what exactly do you say in this situation? Music notes run in his head because he's got a great idea of the perfect score for this scene, but not the words. He stares down at his hands and imagines Tablo getting up and picking Eunhyuk up, Eunhyuk who he thinks has passed out with his head in Henry’s covers. He imagines Tablo leaving and imagines not seeing him or Eunhyuk until he's maybe forty. He’s never going to be able to sleep in his bed again, because Tablo and Eunhyuk were there, and he's going to smell them and imagine that split second he saw of tongues and hands on skin just barely exposed. Henry has enough worries; he doesn't want to worry about this too. like it's not enough that half the female population of Korea hates his guts, now they might hate him even more because he keeps thinking about two of Korea’s most loved musicians and how they look pressed against each other. Henry’s imagining all kinds of nightmares when there are fingers on his chin and he looks up. Eunhyuk’s not passed out anymore, if he ever was, because he looks down at Henry with an expression Henry can't read.
"If I kiss you... will you hate me, Henry-ah? Because I’m pretty drunk right now, and I really want to kiss you." Eunhyuk’s voice is softly slurred, and Henry, somewhere in between the first kiss and you, forgot every word he's ever learned. He stares up at Eunhyuk and Eunhyuk takes his silence as acceptance because there are lips on his. Eunhyuk’s lips alone taste like soju and something that he thinks must be Tablo.
This is Henry’s first kiss, because Henry’s never had time for kisses, and he wishes he were drunk too because then maybe he could do something more then clench his hands into fists and let his eyes close.
Henry registers that this isn't a kiss like the ones you see in the movies because Eunhyuk’s not trying to eat him, his mouth moves soft and light. And then Eunhyuk’s mouth pulls away, comes back, pulls away, comes back in butterfly touches. Henry thinks that maybe he should've stayed in the bathroom after all, because this, this isn't going to be good in the morning with headaches.
He pulls away, and for a kiss that wasn't that heavy, he's out of breath and his head is dizzy. He leans forward because he doesn't want to go backwards. His forehead rests against Eunhyuk’s stomach and the strong in and out feels like a lullaby.
"Henry-ah..."
Henry looks up, slowly, and there's Tablo, he forgot all about Tablo.
"Do you remember, a few nights ago? You saw me and Eunhyuk in the kitchen, and we saw you too." Tablo’s voice is soft and hesitant, and he steps closer, closer, until he's standing with a hand on the small of Eunhyuk’s back and one on Henry’s shoulder, looking down at him and he has the same look on his face that Eunhyuk had later.
Henry thinks for a second that he should deny it, but Henry is a horrible liar, and he hates lying anyways, so he just nods.
Tablo lets out a shaky breath. "Will you- I mean, we want to-" he stutters, and Henry is almost in awe. He’d always thought that the one thing Tablo would never, could never be, was speechless. The thought that Henry, even though he didn't mean to, had made Tablo stutter makes him feel proud.
When Henry reaches up and touches Tablo’s hand on his shoulder, he realizes with a start that the creepy tingling under his skin, his monster that stretched out and clawed was gone, replaced with something that felt liquid and a lot better.
Tablo grins, grins at Henry, looks up and grins at Eunhyuk, who grins back and laughs. When Tablo looks back at Henry, Henry knows what the look in his eyes is, because it's what he feels in the bottom of his stomach right now.
Eunhyuk takes Henry’s hands and pulls him up, and he pulls him towards the bed. Eunhyuk sits down, shakes his head a little, laughs again. Henry can tell he's still drunk, still tipsy, but it's okay. Eunhyuk climbs up, and Henry never realized his legs were that long or that thin, but he doesn't get to look for long because Tablo pushes him forward, and Henry’s crawling up and crawling into Eunhyuk’s lap, which feels like something he's always done.
Eunhyuk runs his hands up Henry’s back, down Henry’s back, and Henry braces himself on Eunhyuk’s shoulders, because he's sitting on something that has to be Eunhyuk and that makes his breath come shorter. Eunhyuk’s hands slip under Henry’s shirt, his fingers are warm, Henry shivers. He leans forward and presses his mouth against Eunhyuk, softly. He doesn't know what to do, isn't sure what to do with lips and tongue and teeth, but he shouldn't have worried. Tablo’s body is oddly familiar against his back, Tablo’s mouth pressing against the back of his neck makes him gasp, suddenly. And then Eunhyuk’s there, his tongue is wet against Henry’s and his teeth are biting and Henry has no clue what to do except to copy what Eunhyuk does. Eunhyuk makes noises into his mouth, fingers clenching into Henry’s waist and even Henry can tell that they're good noises and he wants to hear them louder and louder.
Henry likes kissing, likes being sandwiched between Eunhyuk and Tablo. He wiggles on Eunhyuk’s lap because he's happy, excited, and that movement makes Eunhyuk let out a noise that's entirely different from anything Henry’s heard that night. It’s deep, a groan, and it seems to come from his very soul. Henry likes that noise a lot, a lot more then the others, and he wiggles again, slowly, testing. Eunhyuk makes the noise again, so Henry wiggles again.
He jumps when Tablo’s hands come around him and his fingers slide just under the hem of his shorts. Henry stills because he knows where Tablo’s hands are heading, and Eunhyuk pulls their mouth apart to watch Henry’s face. Henry looks behind him. Tablo watches him back, something almost solemn on his face as his hands slide into Henry’s boxers and rub against the skin of his navel, then lower and lower. Henry loses his breath when Tablo’s hands close around him.
The touch is light at first, almost not even there, but it gets tighter, harder. It's nothing like Henry's stolen touches in the bathroom only minutes ago. Henry’s eyes drift closed, his breath hitches when Tablo kisses his cheek, kisses his neck, bites softly at his shoulder. Henry wonders if maybe he could die like this, warm and safe. Everything feels like its in slow motion, quicksand that isn't quite quick enough, but that illusion shatters and breaks and crumples when Tablo’s fingers twist, slide, and Henry’s boneless, head falling back and letting out a soft cry.
Is this what he's been missing out on, truly? Because if it is, Henry hates himself and loves himself at the same time. He hates himself because he could've had this much earlier, but he's glad in a way because it's his first time and he's not alone in his shower with only his imagination and his soap. Instead, he's with Eunhyuk, Eunhyuk who's fallen back into the bed and watches with eyes that aren't quiet all there and watches and rolls his hips, and he's with Tablo who's a second shirt on his back and hot fingers on his skin.
Something tingles in Henry’s stomach, travels up his stomach and his back at the same time. He gasps, tugs on Tablo’s arm. "I’m- I- Tablo, ohohohohohoh-"
Henry comes for the first time in a quiet rush of air and his fingers digging into the skin of Tablo’s wrist. If he thought he was boneless before, then he doesn't know what he is now because he can't hold his body together. He slumps forward and pants and sometimes his body shudders. He thinks he hears laughter as he's rolled off Eunhyuk’s body, and he feels his shorts and his boxers being pulled away, his arms are lifted and moved for his shirt to be pulled off. Henry wants to sleep, but at the same time, he wants more and more.
Henry lays and wonders, and when no one touches him, he turns his head and Tablo’s not wearing clothes anymore and neither is Eunhyuk. Tablo’s taken what has just seconds ago Henry’s place on Eunhyuk’s lap, pressed chest to chest and mouth to mouth. They’re moving against each other, hands tangling into each other's hair. The longer Henry watches the more his newfound breath leaves again, and the more his sleepiness fades away. In fact, he feels wide awake, and he moves closer, presses against Eunhyuk’s side to watch. Eunhyuk pulls away from Tablo to pull Henry close and kiss him instead. Eunhyuk’s eyes are hazy, out of focus.. That grin he's been wearing is still there, wide and unbelievably sweet, but Henry doesn't think about it when Eunhyuk’s mouth is doing other things then smiling.
"Henry, Henry, Henry..." Tablo’s voice is rough in Henry’s ear.
He looks up, pulls away from Eunhyuk’s mouth, and startles himself when he reaches up and pulls Tablo’s mouth down to his. When Tablo’s mouth doesn't taste like Eunhyuk’s, he realizes that this is the first time he's kissed Tablo. It makes him press his mouth harder against him. Henry untangles his hands from wherever they are, because he doesn't really know, and he puts them on Tablo’s chest. Tablo is skinny, tiny, he looks like Henry. He’s smooth everywhere. Eunhyuk presses against Henry’s side, and Henry feels him hot and heavy against his thigh as Henry’s hands fall to Tablo’s waist.
He hesitates, he's not sure, not sure at all, but when Tablo’s teeth come down on his bottom lip and Eunhyuk hand wrap around him, he doesn't. He closes his hand around Tablo and Tablo hisses into his mouth. Henry opens his hand closes it again. his hand slides easily up and down, and he tries to do the thing with his fingers that Tablo did, and he's sure he didn't quite get it, but it must've been fine for Tablo, because the older man drops a sudden "oh fuck" into Henry’s mouth.
Henry feels proud of that, and he tastes the words with his tongue.
His mind spins, his body moves without him telling him to. He thinks that maybe this will go on forever. Then he thinks that maybe not, because Tablo’s pulling away, and he leaves the bed entirely, and Henry watches him with half-closed eyes. Tablo fumbles around with clothes on the floor. Eunhyuk licks Henry’s cheek and tightens his hand and Henry cries out.
Tablo’s back, and he kisses Eunhyuk softly before pulling Henry away. He kisses Henry too before he turns Henry around and sits him down on Eunhyuk’s lap. Tablo presses him down and Henry gladly presses his chest against Eunhyuk’s. Eunhyuk tries to catch his mouth, but Henry wants to know what Eunhyuk’s skin tastes like. He presses kisses into Eunhyuk’s smooth skin, laps at a nipple. Eunhyuk groans.
Henry likes the way Eunhyuk’s nipple tightens against his tongue. He kisses it, looks back over at his shoulder to find out what Tablo’s doing when something warm touches him somewhere he really never thought he'd ever be touched. Henry’s eyes fly open and he stares at Tablo. "Tablo, what are you- ah!"
Something’s pressing in and oh fucking god it's Tablo’s fingers. It doesn't hurt but it doesn't feel good and it's weird and Henry’s not sure he likes the way it moves in and out. "Tablo, I-" he tries again to say something but Tablo’s pressing in another fingers and okay, now it hurts just a little.
"Relax, Henry. Breathe." Tablo’s voice seems far away, but steady, so Henry puts his head down on Eunhyuk’s chest and breathes in and out. Eunhyuk laughs, his body shakes.
"It’ll feel better, I promise." Eunhyuk’s voice is just slightly slurred, but his hands are sure as they rub Henry’s back. They slide down his sides and back up and down again, and Henry’s distracted for a few seconds. In those seconds, Tablo leans down, kisses the small of Henry’s back and oh fuck oh fuck, Henry thinks that maybe Tablo’s just decided to shove his whole hand up into him. It burns but it doesn't quite reach intolerable. Soon enough, it's just Tablo’s fingers moving slowly in and out, and Henry wonders in a quite voice in the back of his mind if that's supposed to feel good right before fire shoots up his spine and to his fingertips.
"OH MY GOD."
Tablo laughs, Eunhyuk laughs, Henry pants, and he feels the fire again, and again, and before he knows it, he's pressing against Tablo’s fingers and arching his back.So, this is sex, Henry’s mind tells him laughingly, but Henry can't bother to answer himself. Tablo’s fingers are gone and Henry feels empty. He looks back over his shoulder, licks his dry lips. Tablo just grins, runs a hand over his thigh. "On him," he says, nodding at Eunhyuk.
Henry looks forward again, looks down at Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk’s smiles at him, raises his hands to cup Henry’s cheeks and smooth his hair. Henry raises himself on his knees, and he holds Eunhyuk in his hand, but he's not sure how exactly he has to go about this, but another pair of hands joins his. Tablo guides Eunhyuk in and Henry down, and Eunhyuk’s a lot bigger then Tablo’s fingers. It hurts again, uncomfortable, and Henry frowns, moves his hips.
"Oh..."
His voice is soft because something's clicked. Maybe his body knew all along what to do, and was just waiting for Henry to stop thinking, stop planning. He rests his hands on Eunhyuk’s chest and rises up. He sinks back down. Eunhyuk’s eyes widen instead of closing, and he holds onto Henry’s waist and watches his lap, where he and Henry are joined. Henry bites his bottom lip, shakes his hair out of his eyes. He moves a little faster, and ah that was good. He starts to pant, Eunhyuk’s hands urge him faster. His hips move up when Henry falls down and electricity sparks in his body. It’s the fire from before but it feels bigger and brighter. Henry craves it this time. His mind tells him that when everything is over, he'll have to feel embarrassed because he's bouncing like the porn stars his friends used to talk about and he's crying out and moaning.
He’s close to coming, he knows the feeling know, and he wants it to hurry, but Eunhyuk stops. Henry snaps his eyes open and starts to say something, anything to get Eunhyuk to move again, but Eunhyuk’s eyes have finally fallen closed while his mouth falls open. Henry feels something brush against his back and he looks to find Tablo pushing into Eunhyuk. Henry falls forward a little because Tablo pulls Eunhyuk’s hips up. It makes Eunhyuk slip deeper inside of him. Henry groans and moves in small circles. He’s impatient to get moving.
Finally, finally, Tablo starts moving and that's Henry’s sign to go. He’s disappointed because it doesn't match at first. He has to slow down and hold back and fall into Tablo’s rhythm because Tablo won't move to his. But it's finally synced, finally linked. Henry bites his lips and makes keening noises in the back of his throat because he wants it faster and harder. Tablo talks under his breath, sometimes English, sometimes Korean, and his words are stark and unforgiving and it only heats Henry up more. Eunhyuk seems to have just given up trying at all; his arms are over his head as he lets Tablo and Henry use his body. He sounds like a combination of Henry and Tablo, sometimes just letting out moans, sometimes whispering, talking, letting out orders that Tablo doesn't follow.
Henry thinks its torture, to be suspended right there in that time, that second that moment, where he's feeling everything and nothing at all. He reaches back and grabs Tablo’s wrist and squeezes, squeezes because he can't get enough air into his lungs to talk, and maybe Tablo realized that Henry couldn't take it anymore, that Eunhyuk was getting louder and louder, or maybe Tablo’s self control had reached his limit to because everything speeds up.
Maybe it's him yelling, maybe it's Eunhyuk, maybe all of them. That ball of perfect joy is right at his fingertips and Henry reaches, reaches as one of Tablo’s hands leaves Eunhyuk’s hips and closes around Henry and gives him one hard tug and god, he's there, he's there. Henry shudders and shudders and Eunhyuk’s watching him. Eunhyuk’s hips under his speed up, then it's Eunhyuk that jerks and Henry’s filled with sudden warmth, and Tablo falls against his back with a loud "fucking Christ."
The next time Henry can think, can breathe, Eunhyuk’s leaning over him with a hand towel that's warm and wet on his stomach, between his legs. Eunhyuk stretches out over him, rests his head on Henry’s shoulder as his arms wrap around Henry’s waist, towel and all. Henry looks to the side and finds Tablo asleep, curled into his side, already clean.
"He can't stay awake after, not when he's been drinking." Eunhyuk’s voice is a rumble against Henry’s chest.
Henry sighs and smiles and makes sure they're all touching, they're all connected before he lets his eyes fall closed again.
---
In the morning, Kibum and Donghae are bags of bone and muscle that are slumped on the couch, and Henry brings them water and painkillers.
He tries not to winch when he walks because when he does, Eunhyuk gives him a knowing grin, and it's not the sweet grin Henry remembers from his bed, but his usual I did something great, congratulate me grin that Henry sees on a daily basis and routinely ignores.
Tablo is quick kisses before he's throwing on clothes because he forgot that he's supposed to be on a TV show that afternoon and fucking hell, it's already noon!
While Eunhyuk showers, Henry pulls off his ruined bed sheets and throws them on the ground and leaves them. He lies on his stomach and tries to get through more Harry Potter.
It’s hard, because Henry can't get over the fact that he doesn't feel wrong anymore. He feels whole and complete. It’s new and strange and he wants to evaluate and analyze every part of it even as he wants to hide it in his heart and just treasure it.
---
It’s been two weeks and Henry hasn't seen Tablo at all, and Eunhyuk only in small doses because the other member is on and off shows every day. Henry doesn't like the way his heart seems to tighten. He tells himself over and over that neither Tablo nor Eunhyuk ever said anything about Henry being more then a good time while they were drunk. Henry knows that, and he tells himself not to feel abandoned, because he was never picked up in the first place.
Ryeowook and Sungmin are over tonight, and Zhoumi’s here too instead of hiding with Kyuhyun all the time, and they're drinking in the kitchen. Eunhyuk’s not home, of course Tablo’s not there. Henry hugs his new sheets close to him and tries to focus on magic and teenaged wizard angst and his phone beeps.
Henry snatches it off his dresser with hope nestled in his heart. It’s a text message, and it's from Eunhyuk, and all it says is come outside, we're waiting for you.
When Henry pulls on sneakers and runs past the others and slows to a stop outside the dorm, Tablo and Eunhyuk are leaning against Tablo’s car, arms tight around each other. When they see Henry, they both smile. Henry runs to them and finds a place easily between them.
"Let’s go drink at my place tonight," laughs Tablo.
Henry nods with a smile.