Bonne Foi
Illegal post...but today's legal poster has been at Comic Con, so I don't know if she'll be gracing us with her presence today.
Title: Bonne Foi
Author: Amethyst Jackson/cinnamon_kisses
Category: Drama, Romance
Rating: M
Summary: AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Disclaimer: A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that’s Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I’m just having fun with them.
Chapter Twenty
I was still pacing restlessly that afternoon when Bella came through the door, scowling, today’s newspaper in hand. I stopped in my tracks and opened my mouth to greet her, but she was faster.
“I know what you are.”
I studied her face carefully, wondering what conclusion she had come to on her own. She was probably completely wrong, which meant I shouldn’t rush to give myself away. I would have to tell her now, today, what I was, and I wasn’t nearly ready, but I didn’t have to blurt it all out right away.
“What I am?” I finally asked. Let her reveal all her suspicions. Then I could set her straight.
She took a deep breath and shut the door behind her. She dropped her heavy backpack to the floor and tightened her grip on the newspaper.
“I know you’re not stupid enough to think I never suspected anything. You’re so cold, all the time. After we met, I started researching for any medical condition that could make that happen, and…there’s nothing, short of hypothermia, which would make it impossible for you to be alive right now.
“But I figured there had to be some rational explanation. So I kept it to myself. You never said anything, and I thought…maybe it was something really rare and bad and you just didn’t want to talk about it.
“There were other things, though… You’re hard, like stone, and there’s no explanation for that, either. Your eyes change color. You barely eat one meal a day; you should look emaciated, but you don’t. You don’t sleep much, either…any time I wake up in the middle of the night, you’re awake, but you never, ever seem tired! And when my head is against your chest…I can’t hear a heartbeat. None of it makes sense, Edward. I wanted to believe there was some logical explanation for everything, but the more time I spent with you, the odder things seemed.”
Slowly, she came closer to where I stood, still clutching that damned newspaper. I was frozen, waiting in agony to hear what conclusion she had come to, cursing myself for not trying harder to explain those things away…
“And then…my dad told me about the killings. When we went to Forks that weekend, while you were out buying parts. They had stopped, for the time, but he was still concerned, trying to convince me to leave school and come home. A friend of his from the police academy told him about something that was in their reports, something that hadn’t been released to the public.” She looked me square in the eye. “He told me the bodies were drained of blood. Completely.”
Shit. I had relied on the human tendency to keep those strange details from the public, and it had worked…until I had let the wrong girl get too close. A girl whose father had connections to that information. What was she thinking now? Did she truly guess what I was? Or did she think me a freak? A twisted killer?
But she wouldn’t be here, with me, alone, if she was afraid. Would she?
Her hand holding the newspaper was shaking. That was bad.
“You know, Edward,” she half-laughed, “When we first met, at night like that, I thought…I was afraid you were the killer, but then…I started talking to you, and every instinct I had told me that deep down, you were good…dangerous, but good, and that…that you would never hurt me. And you never have. But I can’t help wondering…if you’re not eating normal food, what are you surviving on? And when I heard about these killings, it occurred to me…it could be blood.
“My dad…he thought the police had to be wrong about it being a human…that only an animal would be able to drain a human’s blood without some kind of tool, which there was never any evidence of…I tried to think of animals that are known for drinking blood. There are a few…some insects, bats…but nothing big enough to drain a human being. So then I thought, everything else about this is weird, why not have a weird answer? I googled ‘blood-drinkers’ and the result was…vampires.”
She stared at me, and I stared back. I couldn’t bring myself to confirm it, not when I could see all the myths and legends swirling around behind her eyes. What would she think of me, if I confirmed that one little word?
“I decided I didn’t want to know,” Bella went on. “I had no proof of anything. You had never hurt me or anyone else, to my knowledge. I could see how afraid you were of letting me in, and I thought…maybe you weren’t bad at all. Maybe you just…had this thing you had to live with and you were afraid of what I would think of you. And no one had died since we met…until today. Today, when you wouldn’t come out in the sunlight. So now I have to ask, Edward…are you a vampire, and did you kill this girl?”
Bella held the newspaper up now, showing the face of the girl whose life had been taken less than twenty-four hours ago, and I knew I had to tell her everything. If she would just let me explain, I could tell her that I wasn’t the monster that could do such a thing anymore, that she had changed me irrevocably, that I had chosen to accept that change…but would she listen?
Did I have any choice now? I could choose to lie, but she was too perceptive to believe anything but the truth, and what would that choice make me? A liar, a coward. No, I could not make that choice.
I took a deep, unnecessary breath. “Yes, Bella, I am a vampire…but I did not kill that girl. I swear to you…I haven’t tasted human blood since we met. But…the ones before…that was my doing.”
Bella still shook, and her jaw was clenched, but her eyes showed something like…relief? What I wouldn’t give to hear her mind in this moment.
“Were you going to kill me?” she asked.
“Yes,” I breathed unwillingly.
Bella nodded slowly. “And why didn’t you?”
“You were different,” I said simply. “Different from all the rest of them. And I wanted you. You don’t know how much - how much it took to overcome my thirst for your blood, because you smell better than anyone else I’ve ever come across, but I wanted more of you. At first, I thought it would just be until I tired of you…but I never did. I never will.”
I couldn’t read her expression. I wished I could keep everything from spilling out the way it was, but I couldn’t help it…I needed her to know, to understand.
“Do you need human blood to survive?” she asked tentatively, as though she didn’t want to know the answer. I couldn’t blame her.
“I thought I did. Before I met you, it was the way every vampire I knew survived. I had never heard of or considered another way. But after…when I tried to feed, I saw your face in my mind, heard your voice…and I couldn’t do it. I was so frustrated, so thirsty! You have no idea how I struggled. I was running through the woods after a failed attempt when I caught the scent of a living thing and just…attacked. Only after did I realize that I had drunk from an animal. That’s how I’ve survived since…and then, thanks to you, I met other vampires that lived the same way.”
“The Cullens,” Bella breathed. “So they are vampires? It wasn’t until I saw you and Dr. Cullen side by side that I noticed a resemblance…the eyes are the same. His hands were always cold, too. Back then, I thought it was a circulation problem. I never had a chance to realize he was cold all over.”
I remained silent. It wasn’t my secret to tell her. She sighed.
“Then you only killed people because you thought you had to, to survive? And you live off animals now? That’s what you’re saying?” she asked, almost hopefully.
“That’s what I’m saying,” I confirmed, relieved that she wasn’t running and screaming.
“And do you regret it? Killing people?” she asked more quietly.
How to answer? “At the time…no, I didn’t. At first, yes, it bothered me…but after so many years…it has a dehumanizing effect. I saw myself as above humankind…until you came along. But now…yes, I do regret it. But…it’s our choices that matter, right?” I said almost desperately. “I didn’t choose this life, but now that I know there is an option, I’m choosing to do the right thing.”
Bella nodded, stepping closer still. “I understand, Edward. I do.” She was close enough to touch now, and her hand came up to rest against my cheek. She was trembling, but she brought her body flush against mine and leaned in. “I trust you, Edward. I love you.”
Then her trembling lips touched mine, and I realized how deeply I had underestimated her.
“You’re shaking,” I whispered against her lips. “Are you afraid?”
“Afraid of the unknown, maybe,” she told me, “but not of you. I’ve never been afraid of you.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?” I couldn’t bring myself to let her go, though I realized I should. I should ease her into this…but I needed her acceptance too much.
“I know,” she agreed. She pulled away, and I released her with an ache in my chest. “Edward…why didn’t you tell me?”
I gaped at her. “Would you have believed me if I had? Any sane person would go running out the door at that kind of announcement. And until today, I was under the impression you were a sane person. Besides, it’s…sort of against the rules.”
“Vampires have rules?” she said skeptically. I couldn’t believe we were having this discussion.
“Just one,” I admitted.
“…Which is?” Bella asked when I didn’t elaborate.
“Keep the secret,” I said. “Humans aren’t supposed to know we exist. Exposure is a risk to us all.”
“And who makes the rules?” she asked, frowning. “What happens if you break them?”
I had hoped to avoid this part of the conversation a little longer. “Maybe we should sit down and talk about this?”
“Okay.” I led her to the couch and sat a careful distance away, but she just scooted closer. My brave little human, I thought, smiling to myself.
She looked at me expectantly. I sighed. “There is a group of powerful vampires in Italy known as the Volturi. The three leaders are very old and it’s nearly impossible to trick them. They took it upon themselves many years ago to eliminate any threat to vampire existence.”
Bella gulped. “Will they hurt you? Because of me?”
I grimaced. “Bella…it’s not me you should be worried about.”
“Oh.” I watched the words sink in. “Oh…”
“There’s no reason they should ever find out,” I hurried to reassure her. “Usually, they find out about these things when humans start airing their suspicions in public. It’s really unlikely they’ll ever know, but…still, I’m not sure I would have been willing to take that risk in telling you myself.”
“I can understand that,” she agreed.
“You’re being very understanding in general,” I frowned. “Doesn’t any of this freak you out?”
“Well, of course it does,” she said with a little shrug. “It kind of worries me that you used to kill people, but…like you said, it’s the choice you made that matters…. I don’t think you would have done it if you’d known there was another way. You are a good person. I guess…I guess I just want to understand you better. Will you tell me about your life? How you became what you are? I want to know you, the real you.”
And so I told her everything. I told her what I remembered of my human life. I told her how I had woken alone with thousands of voices in my head. She’d been very alarmed by this until I explained that she was the one exception to my exceptional gift. That gave her pause.
“Why do you think that is? Is there something wrong with me?” she worried, biting at her bottom lip.
I laughed. “Bella, do you really think you’re the one here who has a problem? I think you’re just…made differently than the others. And it’s a good thing.”
She blushed. “So…what did you do then?”
I explained how I’d run from the city and lived in solitude until I learned to control the gift. I told her how I’d used my power to choose my victims, targeting criminals first.
“Why did you stop attacking criminals?” she asked with a frown. I heard the accusation in her voice. Why did you start killing innocents?
“You’re not going to like the answer,” I warned.
“I don’t care,” she said. “I want to know.”
“Mostly, it was boredom,” I admitted. “I craved a challenge. Maybe a little bit of self-preservation, too. It was easier…to turn it into a game, to think of them as pawns rather than humans. Eventually, I didn’t even see them as people anymore. They were just food.”
She was quiet too long. “Are you disgusted?” I asked.
“No,” she shook her head. “No, and I feel as though I should be, but it…makes sense. You did what you had to do in order to survive and keep your sanity. I can’t fault you for that. I don’t know what I would do in the same situation.”
I shook my head. “You never cease to surprise me.”
Her gaze was speculative as it studied my face. “Were you always alone?”
“Yes,” I answered. “Until you…I never spent more than a few days with anyone. I would come across the path of other vampires from time to time, but they held no more interest to me than anyone else.”
“But that’s so sad,” she whispered. “You’ve been all alone for almost ninety years. How could you stand it?”
“I never felt lonely until I met you,” I told her. “Now every room seems empty if you’re not in it.”
She blushed again and seemed eager to change the subject. “Why is it you can go out in the daytime, but not in sunlight? And when do you sleep?”
I chuckled. “I can go out in sunlight, but it causes quite a spectacle. And I can’t sleep at all.”
Bella gaped. “I don’t even know where to begin with that. What kind of spectacle? And how do you never sleep?”
“Well…it might be better for me to show you some time rather than try to explain it, but…my skin, you noted that it’s like stone. It is, actually, crystalline - rather than the semi-solid you’re made of,” I teased. “It…reflects sunlight, like crystal or diamond would. And as for the sleep -“
“You reflect light?” she interrupted. “But why only sunlight and not all light?”
“I really don’t know,” I said patiently, amused by her curiosity. “There must be something in the atomic structure and in the type of lighting that makes it reflect only sunlight…I’ve never thought very much about it, to be honest.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “And the sleeping?”
“Or lack thereof,” I smirked. “I don’t need sleep. My body doesn’t run on the same chemical processes yours does. My mind and body don’t need sleep to restore anything…the blood takes care of it all, I suppose. I’m physically incapable of sleep, but it doesn’t matter. I never get tired.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “So you basically sparkle in the sun, you don’t need sleep, and you read minds. What else can you do?”
“First of all, I do not sparkle,” I growled. “I told you, I reflect sunlight. And vampirism comes with drastically increased speed and strength, along with heightened senses. Sight, scent, hearing, touch…not taste, particularly. Our sense of taste alters to respond to blood. Your human food is rather repulsive, honestly…”
Bella cringed. “So all those times you were pretending to eat, it was disgusting to you?”
I shrugged. “Perhaps something like eating dirt would be to you. I suppose I needn’t have bothered faking it at all…I didn’t fool you, in the end.”
She laughed. “You probably should have faked it a little more. Is it same for all vampires? Do you all have the same abilities?”
“We’re like humans in that our strengths vary. Some are faster, some are stronger. Some of us have different gifts. I’ve never met another mind-reader, although I’ve heard rumors that one of the Volturi can read minds as well. Some vampires have other unusual skills. Some have none.”
“I wonder why that is,” Bella mused. “So just how strong and fast are you?”
I chuckled and moved at full speed to sit on the other side of her on the couch. She gasped when she realized I’d changed places.
“Jesus, Edward! You scared me. Do you even move, or do you just teleport?” she glared, holding a hand to her chest.
I laughed delightedly, feeling so…free to be sharing this with her. “I move; it’s just too fast for your eyes to process.”
“And the strength?” she reminded me warily.
I stooped down to the floor and lifted the couch, and her along with it, using one hand. I held my free hand up for her to see.
“Oh my,” she said, her eyes alarmingly wide. “That’s…pretty strong.”
I set the couch down carefully, laughing again. “Light as a feather. You should see me lift something really heavy.”
“And what constitutes as really heavy, or do I want to know?”
I shrugged. “A house? Those can be heavy.”
“A house. Sure. No problem,” she said dryly, masking her shock. I moved back to my spot beside her while I waited for her to process everything I’d shared with her…though that might take a while.
“This is all…so surreal,” Bella sighed. “I feel like there are more questions I should be asking, but I can’t think of them now.”
“There’s plenty of time for them,” I said. “Though there is something I would like to ask you.”
She gestured for me to go on. I had to brace myself.
“Would you…feel comfortable staying here tonight?”
I had thought to ask because I wanted her close to me, should the other vampires still be in town, but I needed her to say yes for other reasons now. She had seemingly accepted my true nature without thought, but were those just words? Could she really love me so unconditionally?
“Why wouldn’t I feel comfortable?” she replied with a tilt of her head. “You’re not going to bite, are you?”
She surprised me into laughing. “No…I wasn’t planning on it.”
Bella leaned closer with a soft smile. “I’ve always felt safe with you, Edward. I still do.” She was very near, just inches away, and her fingers lightly touched my jaw. “Let me prove it to you.”
I fell a little more in love with her when she pressed her lips to mine in a heated kiss without the slightest hint of hesitation. No fear, none at all. She was so much braver than I could ever be.
Bella eased herself into my lap, never breaking contact. I let her lead, clinging to her soft lips, holding her warmth close. She was a live flame in my arms, flickering and burning wherever she went. Her hands made trails of fire as they traveled from her grip in my hair down my neck and shoulders, roaming over my chest and finally to the hem of my shirt. She gave a sharp tug and I allowed her to pull the garment over my head.
“I always thought you were too perfect to be real,” she said quietly as she ran her hands over my bare chest. “Are you sure you’re not a figment of my imagination?”
“I doubt I’m the stuff fantasies are made of,” I said dryly.
“No…you’re much better,” she sighed. “Take me to bed, Edward. I want to be with you…the real you.”
“Okay,” I agreed, standing and picking her up in one movement. She yelped in surprise. Chuckling, I carried her to the bedroom at my speed. She hadn’t even finished her gasp of surprise when I fell to the bed with her.
“You did ask for the real me,” I pointed out, laughing at her startled expression. I was surprised at how playful she made me feel, how exhilarating it was to be true to myself in her presence.
Her eyes flashed, showing her disgruntlement, before they hardened with determination. “I’m not impressed so far,” she lied, challenging me with a glare. “What else have you got, Mr. Big Bad Vampire?”
“Now you’ve done it,” I growled, even as the scent of her arousal hit me. I couldn’t believe she was actually turned on by this.
“Do your worst,” she taunted.
I stripped my clothes in the blink of her eyes and hovered over her on the bed. I gave her a second to process the change before I ripped her shirt in two.
“Edward!” she gasped.
“I’ll buy a replacement,” I said, guessing at her distress as I pulled the shirt away with a couple more strategic rips. The cloth was like tissue paper in my hands. She was quiet, watching with fascination.
I took off her jeans and shoes with more care. A shirt I could provide her with, but she would need pants to walk out of here in. I plucked her socks off easily and looked up her body, clothed in mismatched cotton underwear. Adorable.
I slid back up her body and tore her bra open. Her face betrayed her excitement. I watched the little hairs on his skin rise at the cool air, and her already stiff nipples puckered further. A soft moan and a squirm told me she was ready for more. I closed my lips around one of her waiting peaks, listening to her throaty moans as I swirled my tongue around the flesh and suckled carefully but greedily.
I switched to her other breast at vampire speed, causing a startled cry of pleasure. Her hands fisted in my hair and she arched her back, trying to get closer to my mouth. I gave her one last thorough lick and pulled away.
She whined in protest, but I just smiled and gripped the sides of her underwear. Her eyes lit up in anticipation just before I tore them from her body.
“Oh!” she gasped.
“You like that?” I asked, enjoying her reaction.
“Mmm,” was her incoherent response. “Edward…”
I slid two fingers between her legs, trailing from her slick folds to her swollen clit. “I’ve never felt you so wet,” I smirked.
“The vampire thing is…sexy,” she sighed, pressing into my hand. “You’re so strong.”
“And fast,” I reminded her. I took my hand away and situated my hips between her legs instead.
“And fast,” she echoed, wrapping her legs around me. “Edward…”
“Tell me,” I urged her, brushing my cock against her sex. “Tell me what you want the big, bad vampire to do to you.”
“Fuck me,” she groaned, throwing her head back. “Please!”
I didn’t wait for the words to leave her lips before I drove into her, shuddering as her heat surrounded me. “Oh god…”
“I know you’ve been holding back,” Bella said breathily. “I don’t want you to do that now.”
Now wasn’t the time to explain to her what would happen if I really stopped holding back, but I could give her more. I began to thrust with deep, rapid strokes, growling as the pleasure overtook me. Bella’s mouth fell open in a gasp. I knew I must look like little more than a blur to her, but she seemed to be enjoying herself regardless. Her eyes closed and a continuous moan rumbled in her throat.
The friction was building fast. I felt my release coming and struggled to hold it back. I hitched her legs higher to find a better angle and soon she was crying out in pleasure.
I reached between our bodies and circled my thumb around her clit. Her legs tightened around me before she screamed her release. Her muscles spasmed around me and after three more thrusts, I came hard.
I rolled with her as I collapsed onto the bed, bringing her body on top of mine. She took a few minutes to come down from her high.
“That was…intense,” she finally sighed.
I smiled. “It was. I can’t believe…I never expected you would…find what I am to be such a…turn-on,” I remarked.
“But it’s always been a turn-on,” she said, looking earnestly up at me. “You’ve always been strange and mysterious and…otherworldly. I just never knew what exactly that was. Now that I do…it’s exciting.”
I shook my head. “You’re a strange creature, Isabella Swan.”
She just laughed. “You’re one to talk, Edward Masen.”
~
A/N: So let there be an end to all the theories! I’m sure this wasn’t what anyone really had in mind, and I don’t know if you’ll care for it or not, but this is what I’ve been planning all along, and I think it still fits with the story I’ve written.
Just a reminder, voting for the Bellie Awards ends August 5th, so get your votes in before then at www (dot) thecatt (dot) net/tw/default (dot) aspx.
Oh, and don't forget to give us your prompts in this post here at Twilight T00bs! We can always use more.
Title: Bonne Foi
Author: Amethyst Jackson/cinnamon_kisses
Category: Drama, Romance
Rating: M
Summary: AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Disclaimer: A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that’s Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I’m just having fun with them.
Chapter Twenty
I was still pacing restlessly that afternoon when Bella came through the door, scowling, today’s newspaper in hand. I stopped in my tracks and opened my mouth to greet her, but she was faster.
“I know what you are.”
I studied her face carefully, wondering what conclusion she had come to on her own. She was probably completely wrong, which meant I shouldn’t rush to give myself away. I would have to tell her now, today, what I was, and I wasn’t nearly ready, but I didn’t have to blurt it all out right away.
“What I am?” I finally asked. Let her reveal all her suspicions. Then I could set her straight.
She took a deep breath and shut the door behind her. She dropped her heavy backpack to the floor and tightened her grip on the newspaper.
“I know you’re not stupid enough to think I never suspected anything. You’re so cold, all the time. After we met, I started researching for any medical condition that could make that happen, and…there’s nothing, short of hypothermia, which would make it impossible for you to be alive right now.
“But I figured there had to be some rational explanation. So I kept it to myself. You never said anything, and I thought…maybe it was something really rare and bad and you just didn’t want to talk about it.
“There were other things, though… You’re hard, like stone, and there’s no explanation for that, either. Your eyes change color. You barely eat one meal a day; you should look emaciated, but you don’t. You don’t sleep much, either…any time I wake up in the middle of the night, you’re awake, but you never, ever seem tired! And when my head is against your chest…I can’t hear a heartbeat. None of it makes sense, Edward. I wanted to believe there was some logical explanation for everything, but the more time I spent with you, the odder things seemed.”
Slowly, she came closer to where I stood, still clutching that damned newspaper. I was frozen, waiting in agony to hear what conclusion she had come to, cursing myself for not trying harder to explain those things away…
“And then…my dad told me about the killings. When we went to Forks that weekend, while you were out buying parts. They had stopped, for the time, but he was still concerned, trying to convince me to leave school and come home. A friend of his from the police academy told him about something that was in their reports, something that hadn’t been released to the public.” She looked me square in the eye. “He told me the bodies were drained of blood. Completely.”
Shit. I had relied on the human tendency to keep those strange details from the public, and it had worked…until I had let the wrong girl get too close. A girl whose father had connections to that information. What was she thinking now? Did she truly guess what I was? Or did she think me a freak? A twisted killer?
But she wouldn’t be here, with me, alone, if she was afraid. Would she?
Her hand holding the newspaper was shaking. That was bad.
“You know, Edward,” she half-laughed, “When we first met, at night like that, I thought…I was afraid you were the killer, but then…I started talking to you, and every instinct I had told me that deep down, you were good…dangerous, but good, and that…that you would never hurt me. And you never have. But I can’t help wondering…if you’re not eating normal food, what are you surviving on? And when I heard about these killings, it occurred to me…it could be blood.
“My dad…he thought the police had to be wrong about it being a human…that only an animal would be able to drain a human’s blood without some kind of tool, which there was never any evidence of…I tried to think of animals that are known for drinking blood. There are a few…some insects, bats…but nothing big enough to drain a human being. So then I thought, everything else about this is weird, why not have a weird answer? I googled ‘blood-drinkers’ and the result was…vampires.”
She stared at me, and I stared back. I couldn’t bring myself to confirm it, not when I could see all the myths and legends swirling around behind her eyes. What would she think of me, if I confirmed that one little word?
“I decided I didn’t want to know,” Bella went on. “I had no proof of anything. You had never hurt me or anyone else, to my knowledge. I could see how afraid you were of letting me in, and I thought…maybe you weren’t bad at all. Maybe you just…had this thing you had to live with and you were afraid of what I would think of you. And no one had died since we met…until today. Today, when you wouldn’t come out in the sunlight. So now I have to ask, Edward…are you a vampire, and did you kill this girl?”
Bella held the newspaper up now, showing the face of the girl whose life had been taken less than twenty-four hours ago, and I knew I had to tell her everything. If she would just let me explain, I could tell her that I wasn’t the monster that could do such a thing anymore, that she had changed me irrevocably, that I had chosen to accept that change…but would she listen?
Did I have any choice now? I could choose to lie, but she was too perceptive to believe anything but the truth, and what would that choice make me? A liar, a coward. No, I could not make that choice.
I took a deep, unnecessary breath. “Yes, Bella, I am a vampire…but I did not kill that girl. I swear to you…I haven’t tasted human blood since we met. But…the ones before…that was my doing.”
Bella still shook, and her jaw was clenched, but her eyes showed something like…relief? What I wouldn’t give to hear her mind in this moment.
“Were you going to kill me?” she asked.
“Yes,” I breathed unwillingly.
Bella nodded slowly. “And why didn’t you?”
“You were different,” I said simply. “Different from all the rest of them. And I wanted you. You don’t know how much - how much it took to overcome my thirst for your blood, because you smell better than anyone else I’ve ever come across, but I wanted more of you. At first, I thought it would just be until I tired of you…but I never did. I never will.”
I couldn’t read her expression. I wished I could keep everything from spilling out the way it was, but I couldn’t help it…I needed her to know, to understand.
“Do you need human blood to survive?” she asked tentatively, as though she didn’t want to know the answer. I couldn’t blame her.
“I thought I did. Before I met you, it was the way every vampire I knew survived. I had never heard of or considered another way. But after…when I tried to feed, I saw your face in my mind, heard your voice…and I couldn’t do it. I was so frustrated, so thirsty! You have no idea how I struggled. I was running through the woods after a failed attempt when I caught the scent of a living thing and just…attacked. Only after did I realize that I had drunk from an animal. That’s how I’ve survived since…and then, thanks to you, I met other vampires that lived the same way.”
“The Cullens,” Bella breathed. “So they are vampires? It wasn’t until I saw you and Dr. Cullen side by side that I noticed a resemblance…the eyes are the same. His hands were always cold, too. Back then, I thought it was a circulation problem. I never had a chance to realize he was cold all over.”
I remained silent. It wasn’t my secret to tell her. She sighed.
“Then you only killed people because you thought you had to, to survive? And you live off animals now? That’s what you’re saying?” she asked, almost hopefully.
“That’s what I’m saying,” I confirmed, relieved that she wasn’t running and screaming.
“And do you regret it? Killing people?” she asked more quietly.
How to answer? “At the time…no, I didn’t. At first, yes, it bothered me…but after so many years…it has a dehumanizing effect. I saw myself as above humankind…until you came along. But now…yes, I do regret it. But…it’s our choices that matter, right?” I said almost desperately. “I didn’t choose this life, but now that I know there is an option, I’m choosing to do the right thing.”
Bella nodded, stepping closer still. “I understand, Edward. I do.” She was close enough to touch now, and her hand came up to rest against my cheek. She was trembling, but she brought her body flush against mine and leaned in. “I trust you, Edward. I love you.”
Then her trembling lips touched mine, and I realized how deeply I had underestimated her.
“You’re shaking,” I whispered against her lips. “Are you afraid?”
“Afraid of the unknown, maybe,” she told me, “but not of you. I’ve never been afraid of you.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?” I couldn’t bring myself to let her go, though I realized I should. I should ease her into this…but I needed her acceptance too much.
“I know,” she agreed. She pulled away, and I released her with an ache in my chest. “Edward…why didn’t you tell me?”
I gaped at her. “Would you have believed me if I had? Any sane person would go running out the door at that kind of announcement. And until today, I was under the impression you were a sane person. Besides, it’s…sort of against the rules.”
“Vampires have rules?” she said skeptically. I couldn’t believe we were having this discussion.
“Just one,” I admitted.
“…Which is?” Bella asked when I didn’t elaborate.
“Keep the secret,” I said. “Humans aren’t supposed to know we exist. Exposure is a risk to us all.”
“And who makes the rules?” she asked, frowning. “What happens if you break them?”
I had hoped to avoid this part of the conversation a little longer. “Maybe we should sit down and talk about this?”
“Okay.” I led her to the couch and sat a careful distance away, but she just scooted closer. My brave little human, I thought, smiling to myself.
She looked at me expectantly. I sighed. “There is a group of powerful vampires in Italy known as the Volturi. The three leaders are very old and it’s nearly impossible to trick them. They took it upon themselves many years ago to eliminate any threat to vampire existence.”
Bella gulped. “Will they hurt you? Because of me?”
I grimaced. “Bella…it’s not me you should be worried about.”
“Oh.” I watched the words sink in. “Oh…”
“There’s no reason they should ever find out,” I hurried to reassure her. “Usually, they find out about these things when humans start airing their suspicions in public. It’s really unlikely they’ll ever know, but…still, I’m not sure I would have been willing to take that risk in telling you myself.”
“I can understand that,” she agreed.
“You’re being very understanding in general,” I frowned. “Doesn’t any of this freak you out?”
“Well, of course it does,” she said with a little shrug. “It kind of worries me that you used to kill people, but…like you said, it’s the choice you made that matters…. I don’t think you would have done it if you’d known there was another way. You are a good person. I guess…I guess I just want to understand you better. Will you tell me about your life? How you became what you are? I want to know you, the real you.”
And so I told her everything. I told her what I remembered of my human life. I told her how I had woken alone with thousands of voices in my head. She’d been very alarmed by this until I explained that she was the one exception to my exceptional gift. That gave her pause.
“Why do you think that is? Is there something wrong with me?” she worried, biting at her bottom lip.
I laughed. “Bella, do you really think you’re the one here who has a problem? I think you’re just…made differently than the others. And it’s a good thing.”
She blushed. “So…what did you do then?”
I explained how I’d run from the city and lived in solitude until I learned to control the gift. I told her how I’d used my power to choose my victims, targeting criminals first.
“Why did you stop attacking criminals?” she asked with a frown. I heard the accusation in her voice. Why did you start killing innocents?
“You’re not going to like the answer,” I warned.
“I don’t care,” she said. “I want to know.”
“Mostly, it was boredom,” I admitted. “I craved a challenge. Maybe a little bit of self-preservation, too. It was easier…to turn it into a game, to think of them as pawns rather than humans. Eventually, I didn’t even see them as people anymore. They were just food.”
She was quiet too long. “Are you disgusted?” I asked.
“No,” she shook her head. “No, and I feel as though I should be, but it…makes sense. You did what you had to do in order to survive and keep your sanity. I can’t fault you for that. I don’t know what I would do in the same situation.”
I shook my head. “You never cease to surprise me.”
Her gaze was speculative as it studied my face. “Were you always alone?”
“Yes,” I answered. “Until you…I never spent more than a few days with anyone. I would come across the path of other vampires from time to time, but they held no more interest to me than anyone else.”
“But that’s so sad,” she whispered. “You’ve been all alone for almost ninety years. How could you stand it?”
“I never felt lonely until I met you,” I told her. “Now every room seems empty if you’re not in it.”
She blushed again and seemed eager to change the subject. “Why is it you can go out in the daytime, but not in sunlight? And when do you sleep?”
I chuckled. “I can go out in sunlight, but it causes quite a spectacle. And I can’t sleep at all.”
Bella gaped. “I don’t even know where to begin with that. What kind of spectacle? And how do you never sleep?”
“Well…it might be better for me to show you some time rather than try to explain it, but…my skin, you noted that it’s like stone. It is, actually, crystalline - rather than the semi-solid you’re made of,” I teased. “It…reflects sunlight, like crystal or diamond would. And as for the sleep -“
“You reflect light?” she interrupted. “But why only sunlight and not all light?”
“I really don’t know,” I said patiently, amused by her curiosity. “There must be something in the atomic structure and in the type of lighting that makes it reflect only sunlight…I’ve never thought very much about it, to be honest.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “And the sleeping?”
“Or lack thereof,” I smirked. “I don’t need sleep. My body doesn’t run on the same chemical processes yours does. My mind and body don’t need sleep to restore anything…the blood takes care of it all, I suppose. I’m physically incapable of sleep, but it doesn’t matter. I never get tired.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “So you basically sparkle in the sun, you don’t need sleep, and you read minds. What else can you do?”
“First of all, I do not sparkle,” I growled. “I told you, I reflect sunlight. And vampirism comes with drastically increased speed and strength, along with heightened senses. Sight, scent, hearing, touch…not taste, particularly. Our sense of taste alters to respond to blood. Your human food is rather repulsive, honestly…”
Bella cringed. “So all those times you were pretending to eat, it was disgusting to you?”
I shrugged. “Perhaps something like eating dirt would be to you. I suppose I needn’t have bothered faking it at all…I didn’t fool you, in the end.”
She laughed. “You probably should have faked it a little more. Is it same for all vampires? Do you all have the same abilities?”
“We’re like humans in that our strengths vary. Some are faster, some are stronger. Some of us have different gifts. I’ve never met another mind-reader, although I’ve heard rumors that one of the Volturi can read minds as well. Some vampires have other unusual skills. Some have none.”
“I wonder why that is,” Bella mused. “So just how strong and fast are you?”
I chuckled and moved at full speed to sit on the other side of her on the couch. She gasped when she realized I’d changed places.
“Jesus, Edward! You scared me. Do you even move, or do you just teleport?” she glared, holding a hand to her chest.
I laughed delightedly, feeling so…free to be sharing this with her. “I move; it’s just too fast for your eyes to process.”
“And the strength?” she reminded me warily.
I stooped down to the floor and lifted the couch, and her along with it, using one hand. I held my free hand up for her to see.
“Oh my,” she said, her eyes alarmingly wide. “That’s…pretty strong.”
I set the couch down carefully, laughing again. “Light as a feather. You should see me lift something really heavy.”
“And what constitutes as really heavy, or do I want to know?”
I shrugged. “A house? Those can be heavy.”
“A house. Sure. No problem,” she said dryly, masking her shock. I moved back to my spot beside her while I waited for her to process everything I’d shared with her…though that might take a while.
“This is all…so surreal,” Bella sighed. “I feel like there are more questions I should be asking, but I can’t think of them now.”
“There’s plenty of time for them,” I said. “Though there is something I would like to ask you.”
She gestured for me to go on. I had to brace myself.
“Would you…feel comfortable staying here tonight?”
I had thought to ask because I wanted her close to me, should the other vampires still be in town, but I needed her to say yes for other reasons now. She had seemingly accepted my true nature without thought, but were those just words? Could she really love me so unconditionally?
“Why wouldn’t I feel comfortable?” she replied with a tilt of her head. “You’re not going to bite, are you?”
She surprised me into laughing. “No…I wasn’t planning on it.”
Bella leaned closer with a soft smile. “I’ve always felt safe with you, Edward. I still do.” She was very near, just inches away, and her fingers lightly touched my jaw. “Let me prove it to you.”
I fell a little more in love with her when she pressed her lips to mine in a heated kiss without the slightest hint of hesitation. No fear, none at all. She was so much braver than I could ever be.
Bella eased herself into my lap, never breaking contact. I let her lead, clinging to her soft lips, holding her warmth close. She was a live flame in my arms, flickering and burning wherever she went. Her hands made trails of fire as they traveled from her grip in my hair down my neck and shoulders, roaming over my chest and finally to the hem of my shirt. She gave a sharp tug and I allowed her to pull the garment over my head.
“I always thought you were too perfect to be real,” she said quietly as she ran her hands over my bare chest. “Are you sure you’re not a figment of my imagination?”
“I doubt I’m the stuff fantasies are made of,” I said dryly.
“No…you’re much better,” she sighed. “Take me to bed, Edward. I want to be with you…the real you.”
“Okay,” I agreed, standing and picking her up in one movement. She yelped in surprise. Chuckling, I carried her to the bedroom at my speed. She hadn’t even finished her gasp of surprise when I fell to the bed with her.
“You did ask for the real me,” I pointed out, laughing at her startled expression. I was surprised at how playful she made me feel, how exhilarating it was to be true to myself in her presence.
Her eyes flashed, showing her disgruntlement, before they hardened with determination. “I’m not impressed so far,” she lied, challenging me with a glare. “What else have you got, Mr. Big Bad Vampire?”
“Now you’ve done it,” I growled, even as the scent of her arousal hit me. I couldn’t believe she was actually turned on by this.
“Do your worst,” she taunted.
I stripped my clothes in the blink of her eyes and hovered over her on the bed. I gave her a second to process the change before I ripped her shirt in two.
“Edward!” she gasped.
“I’ll buy a replacement,” I said, guessing at her distress as I pulled the shirt away with a couple more strategic rips. The cloth was like tissue paper in my hands. She was quiet, watching with fascination.
I took off her jeans and shoes with more care. A shirt I could provide her with, but she would need pants to walk out of here in. I plucked her socks off easily and looked up her body, clothed in mismatched cotton underwear. Adorable.
I slid back up her body and tore her bra open. Her face betrayed her excitement. I watched the little hairs on his skin rise at the cool air, and her already stiff nipples puckered further. A soft moan and a squirm told me she was ready for more. I closed my lips around one of her waiting peaks, listening to her throaty moans as I swirled my tongue around the flesh and suckled carefully but greedily.
I switched to her other breast at vampire speed, causing a startled cry of pleasure. Her hands fisted in my hair and she arched her back, trying to get closer to my mouth. I gave her one last thorough lick and pulled away.
She whined in protest, but I just smiled and gripped the sides of her underwear. Her eyes lit up in anticipation just before I tore them from her body.
“Oh!” she gasped.
“You like that?” I asked, enjoying her reaction.
“Mmm,” was her incoherent response. “Edward…”
I slid two fingers between her legs, trailing from her slick folds to her swollen clit. “I’ve never felt you so wet,” I smirked.
“The vampire thing is…sexy,” she sighed, pressing into my hand. “You’re so strong.”
“And fast,” I reminded her. I took my hand away and situated my hips between her legs instead.
“And fast,” she echoed, wrapping her legs around me. “Edward…”
“Tell me,” I urged her, brushing my cock against her sex. “Tell me what you want the big, bad vampire to do to you.”
“Fuck me,” she groaned, throwing her head back. “Please!”
I didn’t wait for the words to leave her lips before I drove into her, shuddering as her heat surrounded me. “Oh god…”
“I know you’ve been holding back,” Bella said breathily. “I don’t want you to do that now.”
Now wasn’t the time to explain to her what would happen if I really stopped holding back, but I could give her more. I began to thrust with deep, rapid strokes, growling as the pleasure overtook me. Bella’s mouth fell open in a gasp. I knew I must look like little more than a blur to her, but she seemed to be enjoying herself regardless. Her eyes closed and a continuous moan rumbled in her throat.
The friction was building fast. I felt my release coming and struggled to hold it back. I hitched her legs higher to find a better angle and soon she was crying out in pleasure.
I reached between our bodies and circled my thumb around her clit. Her legs tightened around me before she screamed her release. Her muscles spasmed around me and after three more thrusts, I came hard.
I rolled with her as I collapsed onto the bed, bringing her body on top of mine. She took a few minutes to come down from her high.
“That was…intense,” she finally sighed.
I smiled. “It was. I can’t believe…I never expected you would…find what I am to be such a…turn-on,” I remarked.
“But it’s always been a turn-on,” she said, looking earnestly up at me. “You’ve always been strange and mysterious and…otherworldly. I just never knew what exactly that was. Now that I do…it’s exciting.”
I shook my head. “You’re a strange creature, Isabella Swan.”
She just laughed. “You’re one to talk, Edward Masen.”
~
A/N: So let there be an end to all the theories! I’m sure this wasn’t what anyone really had in mind, and I don’t know if you’ll care for it or not, but this is what I’ve been planning all along, and I think it still fits with the story I’ve written.
Just a reminder, voting for the Bellie Awards ends August 5th, so get your votes in before then at www (dot) thecatt (dot) net/tw/default (dot) aspx.
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