Early Post
Tomorrow is my T00bsday, but I didn't want to wait to post this. I'll try to give you something else tomorrow.
Title: Bonne Foi
Author: Amethyst Jackson
Category: Drama, Romance
Rating: M
Summary: AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Disclaimer: A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that’s Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I’m just having fun with them.
Chapter Nineteen
“Why did you go to that party, anyway?” I asked Bella. We were in my car, on the way to my apartment. “Frat parties don’t seem like your…scene.”
Bella stared out the window. “Impulse, I guess. It was a distraction. I wanted to forget about you for a little while.”
“Did it work?” I wanted to know. I hadn’t been able to forget about her for one second.
“Not really. Granted, you showed up before I had much time to try, but I doubt anything short of a coma would have helped. I’m just entirely too attached to you.”
Funny, I had thought the same thing about her many times. It felt good to hear her say it, though. Was she attached enough to overlook what I was? Attached enough to come into my world?
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Bella asked with a smile.
I gave her a shrug, knowing it was too soon to tell her anything resembling the truth. “Nothing in particular.”
“Somehow, I don’t believe you,” she said, but she let it drop. She did, however, say something completely unexpected. “You do want me to come over, right? I mean, I just assumed without thinking. You can take me home, if you want.”
“You really think, after everything we said tonight, that I wouldn’t want you to come over?” I asked, baffled.
Her eyes didn’t quite meet mine. “I never know what to think with you. I just don’t want to push your limits too far. I’ve always been worried about that.”
So she understood me better than I’d understood myself. Was all her hesitance just caution and not insecurity as I’d suspected? But it was clear in the lines of her face that the vulnerability was still there.
“I wish I could figure you out,” I told her.
“Me?” she laughed. “You’re the mysterious one, Edward Masen.”
I chuckled. “Not like you.” She didn’t even know the half of it. “Did you want to stop at the dorm?” I asked.
“No, thanks. I left my toothbrush at your place anyway. I had to buy a new one, but maybe that’s a good thing now.”
I hadn’t noticed, hadn’t even set foot in my bathroom since last weekend. I liked the thought that a piece of her had remained with me all along.
It wasn’t long before we were at my apartment again. Bella went straight to the bedroom, and I followed unquestioningly, more than happy with her chosen destination. She turned just inside the doorway.
“I want to be close to you again,” she said. “I need to feel it.”
“I’ll give you anything you want,” I told her, stepping into the warmth surrounding her body.
“Anything?” She closed the distance, and my hands held her instinctively. Mine, they said, mine to hold and to keep close and to protect. No matter how long I lived, my claim on her would never change. Could I actually let her go if she found out what I was and wanted no part of it? Could I give her the choice to leave me?
“Anything,” I repeated, though I wasn’t certain it was true.
“Then I want you to show me how you feel about me. What you can’t say.”
Could I? I didn’t know what to show her or how, but I remembered what Alice had quoted to me. There was no love beyond the act of loving. And I had been acting for a long time; I could do it with intention now. Besides, my hands knew how to touch her. My lips knew how she liked to be kissed. If nothing else, I could prove that I knew her and wanted her. That I chose her.
Deliberately, I framed her face in my hands, skin over fragile bones. Her eyes fluttered closed as I brought my lips to hers. She exhaled a sigh, and I tasted her breath, her natural sweetness sharp with alcohol. I stroked her tongue with mine as our lips fused, tasting, savoring. Her fingers curled into my hair and tugged. It felt very light, but she must have been using a fair amount of force. I liked that. I wanted to know how it would feel if she had my strength. Would she be rough or gentle? Or both?
There were so many possibilities yet to discover. I would see this through, I decided. I had to. I chose to.
“Edward,” Bella sighed against my lips, “just stop thinking.”
How had she sensed my distraction? I hadn’t hesitated for a moment. But her hands were kneading my shoulders, and I realized I had tensed.
“Sorry,” I chuckled. “But for the record, I was thinking about you.”
“I might be just a little upset if you weren’t,” she teased. “Whatever it was, it can wait. Right?”
Yes, it could wait; there was time. And right now, my Bella wanted me…why was I thinking about anything other than taking her clothes off?
“You’re right. But this, this can’t wait,” I said, tugging up on her shirt. She raised her arms and allowed me to pull it over her head. It landed on the floor with the slightest of sounds as her hair fell across her shoulders, hitting me with another wave of her scent. I breathed her in deeply, ignoring the burn in my throat in favor of the pleasant buzz I felt throughout the rest of my body. She was a beautiful drug…my own personal brand of ecstasy. I watched the swell of her breasts rising and falling with her quick, anticipatory breaths. Her skin was so lovely, translucently pale and flushed with faint pink. What was the expression? Peaches and cream? It seemed to fit, though it didn’t quite describe the soft, light texture adequately.
I reached out to touch her, feeling her skin flow under my fingertips. I could feel each fine, light, barely-there hair, each perfect imperfection. She had a small scar on her shoulder; where had it come from?
“You look at me like you’re studying a painting,” Bella murmured. “I don’t understand it.”
“You still don’t know how beautiful you are, do you?” I shook my head. Why didn’t she see what was obvious to everyone else? “I’ll just have to show you again, won’t I?”
She gulped. “I barely survived last time you did that.”
“I think you can make it,” I said, guiding her back to the bed. I urged her to lie back, making sure my arms were underneath her to catch the clasp of her bra and slip it free. Her breath hitched as I pulled it away from her.
I took my time looking her over, studying the soft curves and shadows, the varying shades of pink across her skin. I traced one finger around a waiting nipple, feeling it tighten further at my touch. I trailed the finger across her chest to her other breast, and every little hair stood along the way. Every part of her reacted to me. She was so alive, so responsive, and she had no idea how she had revitalized me. Maybe I could tell her…one day…
“You’re teasing me,” she sighed, squirming.
I shook my head. “I’m studying you,” I reminded her. “It’s not my fault you want me so badly.”
She chuckled. “It is entirely your fault and you know it.” But she laid back and watched me with soft eyes, showing she understood what I was trying to do…even if I didn’t know myself. I only knew I felt the need to explore her body like I never had before, to memorize every last inch, however insignificant. The soles of her feet, the small of her back, the crook of her elbow…every place mattered.
I ran my hands over her upper body, down from her shoulders to her hands, tracing the veins in her wrists, the lines in the palms of her hands, her slender fingers. Then it was her flat stomach, her tiny belly button, her pillow-soft breasts… I couldn’t resist the need to taste, to feel the texture of her firm nipples against my tongue and hear her breathless sounds fill the room. The slight coating of sweat on her skin made her taste sweeter still.
I wanted to see more of her. Her shoes were still on; I pulled those off first, then her socks. She giggled as my fingers grazed her feet. I laughed too at the discovery of this ticklish spot. I would have to explore that further…later. Next came her jeans, freeing her slim legs…not long, but shapely. Her thighs were smoother than ever under my palms, and I’d never noticed just how delicate her ankles were.
I undressed myself, wanting to be able to feel skin on skin when I got to my favorite place. She watched me with heat in her eyes, raking her gaze over every part of me. My chest tightened and my body thrummed with anticipation. I didn’t bother to analyze the way she made me feel…just enjoyed it for what it was, and ‘what it was’ was fantastic…
Naked, I kneeled between her knees and leaned in to peel off her cotton underwear. Her scent was thick. I slid my fingers into her folds, savoring the slickness that was there for me, because of me. I swirled my fingers around her clit and watched her throat flex as she tossed her head back and moaned.
I wanted to taste her; I wanted to make her scream. But it seemed wrong, somehow…it was incredibly insufficient, incapable of channeling the intensity of my desire for her. I needed to be inside of her, and she looked at me like she needed the same thing.
I leaned forward and held my body over hers. She looked up at me, trusting and wanting and beautiful. I sighed as my lips gravitated to hers. She met my kiss, drawing me in with her fingers in my hair. Her nails scraped against my scalp, little more than a faint tickle. I smiled against her mouth.
“You really are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“And you’re the only one who’s ever really made me feel beautiful,” she sighed back, blushing.
“Good,” I murmured. “That’s what I want for you.”
Her legs lifted to hug my waist with her thighs. “Edward…make love to me now?” she requested uncertainly, pleading with her wide eyes. She could ask me anything, looking at me like that, and I would be helpless to refuse her.
“Anything,” I whispered as I slowly pressed into her.
It had been less than a week since I’d last felt this, her heat wrapped around me, but it seemed like forever. No, that wasn’t quite right. This felt new all over again, as if I’d never experienced her body before, and it was oh-so-heavenly. I watched her eyes close halfway as her lips parted on a gasp. I kept my eyes on her desire-flushed face. I wanted to see every last flicker of emotion on her face as I slid in and out of her. I wanted to know she was feeling the same all-consuming fire I was.
Bella sighed my name as the friction took over, panting softly. I held myself up on one arm and used my free hand to touch her cheek, her neck, her breast, her stomach, and the place where our bodies joined. She moaned hungrily and moved her hips to match my movements. Our locked gazes were like a wire connecting us, through which electricity flowed, crackling and building to unbearable intensity. It was better than it had ever been, and I was drowning. She was drowning with me, and that made it okay. That made it perfect.
Her body quivered under mine, and suddenly she clenched around me with a soft cry of my name.
“Bella,” I groaned, releasing just as suddenly, overwhelmed. Her soft fingers stroked through my hair while I tried to regain enough composure to move without hurting her. It felt good. I heard a soft rumble and then Bella giggled.
“Edward, was that a…purr?”
I moved away abruptly, thoroughly embarrassed. I knew for a fact that I’d never made any such noise in my whole existence.
Bella turned to me, still laughing. “Oh, don’t be like that. I liked it. I want to make you do it again.”
I sighed. “You have a ridiculous amount of power over me. It’s completely unfair.”
“Then we’re even.” She snuggled into my side and pressed a kiss to my shoulder. I wrapped an arm around her and held her there.
“Edward…can I say it?” She looked up at me, eyes shining with hope and vulnerability, and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know what she meant. I nodded, and she gave a watery smile.
“I love you, Edward.”
The words still ignited a sense of panic, but there was warmth there, too, and the greater fear of seeing that pain on her face again. What else did I need to know?
“I…love you,” I said carefully, tasting the word on my tongue. Its flavor was bittersweet like dark chocolate, a flavor I vaguely remembered from childhood, promising both pain and pleasure.
Bella’s eyes filled with tears as she gave me a bright smile. “Oh, Edward…thank you,” she breathed, and I understood what she was really saying - thank you for admitting it. I smiled wryly.
“You have no idea how you’ve changed me,” I told her. She just shook her head, chuckling.
“Sure I do. You only had one thing on your mind when we met. Granted…you still do, but it’s different now. You’re different. I can just…feel it.”
“I am,” I acknowledged.
She smiled and curled sleepily into me again. “I’m so tired,” she said. “I can’t sleep without you these days.”
I chuckled. “Me either.”
~
I spent the weekend glued to Bella’s side. It was too hard to be away from her now, and she expressed the same feeling.
I was surprised at how easy it was to be with her now that I wasn’t constantly analyzing my own feelings and motivations. To simply enjoy her without question was…blissful. Would it be even easier, or harder, if she knew what I was? Could I act naturally around her without making a fatal slip, or was it simply better to keep the human façade? Would she even be here if she knew? The worry and guilt associated with that question gnawed and nagged at me. I wanted it gone, but I wasn’t sure of the right choice.
I had seen firsthand the ruthless way in which the Volturi eliminated any threat. The thought of putting Bella in danger of their wrath was difficult to entertain. Still, I felt the weight of my deception. She should know what she had fallen in love with. She should be able to take the words back if she wanted.
Indecision kept me paralyzed, and I went about life as usual with Bella. There was homework, pretending to eat, watching films on the couch, fantastic sex…
On Saturday evening, she requested I play her lullaby for her, which I did. I offered to teach it to her, but she refused, saying it wouldn’t be the same.
When we went to bed, I took the opportunity to do what I’d missed out on the night before. At least, I did until she shoved me over and climbed on top of me with a determined expression. That was a sight to behold.
Sunday came with a sense of déjà vu. Our impending separation hung over us, a dark cloud dampening both our moods. It seemed wrong to go back to the old routine of classes and nights apart. I needed to do something.
“I wish I could spend every night with you,” she sighed, curled against me. I considered that. Why shouldn’t she? Why shouldn’t she be here whenever she wanted?
“You know…I have a spare key that goes unused. You could have it…come over whenever you feel like,” I offered, watching her face carefully for her reaction.
She was ecstatic.
“Really? You’re…sure? I mean, that’s not too much too soon? Not that I’m objecting, I would love that, but I wouldn’t want -“
“I’m sure,” I cut her off. “I’m happier when you’re here. So…just come over, anytime you want. You could leave things here, too…you know, if you wanted to stay over more often…”
Bella grinned and threw her arms around me. “I’d love that. Thank you, Edward.”
I would have to be more careful if she were to be popping in unannounced, but surely it wouldn’t be too hard. Hunting in the day time…taking a change of clothing with me, should I make a mess…otherwise, there should be nothing to reveal me for what I was… Even if I was doing something no human should be able to do, I would hear her coming long before she actually arrived.
When I took Bella home that night, it was with my spare key in her hand. It felt right.
On Tuesday morning, my phone rang, the screen listing a number I’d never seen before.
“Hello?” I answered reluctantly.
“Edward, it’s Carlisle.”
I blinked. “Hello…”
“I’m sure this call comes as a surprise to you, but this is an urgent matter,” Carlisle went on. “Edward, you haven’t…slipped, have you?”
I was automatically defensive. Did he think so little of me? “No, I have not.”
Carlisle sighed. “I’m sorry to have asked, truly, but there have been several deaths in Seattle in the past week which can only be attributed to our kind.”
I froze. “Then there are others nearby?”
“So it seems,” Carlisle said. “Alice has seen three of them headed our way, but it looks as though they’re already in Seattle. I worry they’ll cut through your town, and I thought you should have the warning.”
“Thank you.” Vampires, here? Vampires who would have no second thoughts about killing Bella? Yes, I needed that warning. I wasn’t letting Bella out of my sight until the threat had passed, and I meant that literally.
I followed her for the rest of Tuesday, until she took advantage of her new key to come to me instead. It was tricky to go from following her to being in my apartment before she got there, but I managed unseen. Wednesday was easier; I made sure we left my apartment at the same time for morning classes, and I skipped biology to watch her until sociology, and then afterward. She went back to her dorm that night, and I hovered beneath her window, feeling absurdly like an overgrown guard-dog. I swallowed my pride and ignored that feeling. Bella was more important.
Thursday passed much as Tuesday had, but Friday threw me for a loop.
It was sunny.
My one consolation was that if I was barred from the sunlight, so were the other vampires. Still, it pained me to miss out on some of my time with Bella. I sent her a text message claiming a migraine, which was as good a reason for refusing to come out in the sunlight as any I could come up with. She texted back that she would check on me after her last class. I made sure the blinds were thoroughly shut in preparation.
I only left my apartment far enough to collect the newspaper outside my door. I found the day to day news of humans utterly boring, but still, I read the paper on a daily basis in order to track the suspicions of humans. It had proven useful before.
I wasn’t expecting anything out of the ordinary in the news today, but the front page headline paralyzed me with shock.
CAMPUS KILLER STRIKES AGAIN
The article told of the death of a young coed, following in the pattern of the so-called Campus Killer who hadn’t stricken in nearly two months.
I blinked. I had been the Campus Killer, and I certainly hadn’t struck anything. That could only mean…
I flipped open my phone and plugged in Carlisle’s number. He answered on the first ring.
“Edward?”
“The vampires, are they here?” I demanded.
Carlisle hesitated. “I can’t be sure. Alice saw them feeding, but she couldn’t pinpoint their location.”
I growled. “Well, it’s front page news today.”
“Keep Bella close,” Carlisle warned. “I’ll tell Alice to keep watch.”
That was the best that could be done. I hung up, dissatisfied. I tossed the paper - having read it, I had it memorized, and I didn’t want to see it again. It was an unwelcome reminder of my very recent past.
I was still pacing restlessly that afternoon when Bella came through the door, scowling, today’s newspaper in hand. I stopped in my tracks and opened my mouth to greet her, but she was faster.
“I know what you are.”
A/N: And now comes the part everyone has been asking about, repeatedly, since chapter one. Sorry for the wait on this one; as it turns out, I have a rather hard time writing make-up sex. Who knew?
On a completely different note, Bonne Foi is nominated for two Bellie Awards (Update You Twitter About and Favorite Darkward), and A Madman’s Mercy is also updated for one award (Best Twist on a Canon Quote). If you’d like to put your votes in, you can do so here:
http://www.thecatt.net/tw/Vote.aspx
I was also recently a guest on the Temptation podcast, episode 25. I have no idea why anyone would want to listen to us babble on the way we did about Harry Potter and other such random things, but there is some talk about fanfiction in there.
Title: Bonne Foi
Author: Amethyst Jackson
Category: Drama, Romance
Rating: M
Summary: AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Disclaimer: A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that’s Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I’m just having fun with them.
Chapter Nineteen
“Why did you go to that party, anyway?” I asked Bella. We were in my car, on the way to my apartment. “Frat parties don’t seem like your…scene.”
Bella stared out the window. “Impulse, I guess. It was a distraction. I wanted to forget about you for a little while.”
“Did it work?” I wanted to know. I hadn’t been able to forget about her for one second.
“Not really. Granted, you showed up before I had much time to try, but I doubt anything short of a coma would have helped. I’m just entirely too attached to you.”
Funny, I had thought the same thing about her many times. It felt good to hear her say it, though. Was she attached enough to overlook what I was? Attached enough to come into my world?
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Bella asked with a smile.
I gave her a shrug, knowing it was too soon to tell her anything resembling the truth. “Nothing in particular.”
“Somehow, I don’t believe you,” she said, but she let it drop. She did, however, say something completely unexpected. “You do want me to come over, right? I mean, I just assumed without thinking. You can take me home, if you want.”
“You really think, after everything we said tonight, that I wouldn’t want you to come over?” I asked, baffled.
Her eyes didn’t quite meet mine. “I never know what to think with you. I just don’t want to push your limits too far. I’ve always been worried about that.”
So she understood me better than I’d understood myself. Was all her hesitance just caution and not insecurity as I’d suspected? But it was clear in the lines of her face that the vulnerability was still there.
“I wish I could figure you out,” I told her.
“Me?” she laughed. “You’re the mysterious one, Edward Masen.”
I chuckled. “Not like you.” She didn’t even know the half of it. “Did you want to stop at the dorm?” I asked.
“No, thanks. I left my toothbrush at your place anyway. I had to buy a new one, but maybe that’s a good thing now.”
I hadn’t noticed, hadn’t even set foot in my bathroom since last weekend. I liked the thought that a piece of her had remained with me all along.
It wasn’t long before we were at my apartment again. Bella went straight to the bedroom, and I followed unquestioningly, more than happy with her chosen destination. She turned just inside the doorway.
“I want to be close to you again,” she said. “I need to feel it.”
“I’ll give you anything you want,” I told her, stepping into the warmth surrounding her body.
“Anything?” She closed the distance, and my hands held her instinctively. Mine, they said, mine to hold and to keep close and to protect. No matter how long I lived, my claim on her would never change. Could I actually let her go if she found out what I was and wanted no part of it? Could I give her the choice to leave me?
“Anything,” I repeated, though I wasn’t certain it was true.
“Then I want you to show me how you feel about me. What you can’t say.”
Could I? I didn’t know what to show her or how, but I remembered what Alice had quoted to me. There was no love beyond the act of loving. And I had been acting for a long time; I could do it with intention now. Besides, my hands knew how to touch her. My lips knew how she liked to be kissed. If nothing else, I could prove that I knew her and wanted her. That I chose her.
Deliberately, I framed her face in my hands, skin over fragile bones. Her eyes fluttered closed as I brought my lips to hers. She exhaled a sigh, and I tasted her breath, her natural sweetness sharp with alcohol. I stroked her tongue with mine as our lips fused, tasting, savoring. Her fingers curled into my hair and tugged. It felt very light, but she must have been using a fair amount of force. I liked that. I wanted to know how it would feel if she had my strength. Would she be rough or gentle? Or both?
There were so many possibilities yet to discover. I would see this through, I decided. I had to. I chose to.
“Edward,” Bella sighed against my lips, “just stop thinking.”
How had she sensed my distraction? I hadn’t hesitated for a moment. But her hands were kneading my shoulders, and I realized I had tensed.
“Sorry,” I chuckled. “But for the record, I was thinking about you.”
“I might be just a little upset if you weren’t,” she teased. “Whatever it was, it can wait. Right?”
Yes, it could wait; there was time. And right now, my Bella wanted me…why was I thinking about anything other than taking her clothes off?
“You’re right. But this, this can’t wait,” I said, tugging up on her shirt. She raised her arms and allowed me to pull it over her head. It landed on the floor with the slightest of sounds as her hair fell across her shoulders, hitting me with another wave of her scent. I breathed her in deeply, ignoring the burn in my throat in favor of the pleasant buzz I felt throughout the rest of my body. She was a beautiful drug…my own personal brand of ecstasy. I watched the swell of her breasts rising and falling with her quick, anticipatory breaths. Her skin was so lovely, translucently pale and flushed with faint pink. What was the expression? Peaches and cream? It seemed to fit, though it didn’t quite describe the soft, light texture adequately.
I reached out to touch her, feeling her skin flow under my fingertips. I could feel each fine, light, barely-there hair, each perfect imperfection. She had a small scar on her shoulder; where had it come from?
“You look at me like you’re studying a painting,” Bella murmured. “I don’t understand it.”
“You still don’t know how beautiful you are, do you?” I shook my head. Why didn’t she see what was obvious to everyone else? “I’ll just have to show you again, won’t I?”
She gulped. “I barely survived last time you did that.”
“I think you can make it,” I said, guiding her back to the bed. I urged her to lie back, making sure my arms were underneath her to catch the clasp of her bra and slip it free. Her breath hitched as I pulled it away from her.
I took my time looking her over, studying the soft curves and shadows, the varying shades of pink across her skin. I traced one finger around a waiting nipple, feeling it tighten further at my touch. I trailed the finger across her chest to her other breast, and every little hair stood along the way. Every part of her reacted to me. She was so alive, so responsive, and she had no idea how she had revitalized me. Maybe I could tell her…one day…
“You’re teasing me,” she sighed, squirming.
I shook my head. “I’m studying you,” I reminded her. “It’s not my fault you want me so badly.”
She chuckled. “It is entirely your fault and you know it.” But she laid back and watched me with soft eyes, showing she understood what I was trying to do…even if I didn’t know myself. I only knew I felt the need to explore her body like I never had before, to memorize every last inch, however insignificant. The soles of her feet, the small of her back, the crook of her elbow…every place mattered.
I ran my hands over her upper body, down from her shoulders to her hands, tracing the veins in her wrists, the lines in the palms of her hands, her slender fingers. Then it was her flat stomach, her tiny belly button, her pillow-soft breasts… I couldn’t resist the need to taste, to feel the texture of her firm nipples against my tongue and hear her breathless sounds fill the room. The slight coating of sweat on her skin made her taste sweeter still.
I wanted to see more of her. Her shoes were still on; I pulled those off first, then her socks. She giggled as my fingers grazed her feet. I laughed too at the discovery of this ticklish spot. I would have to explore that further…later. Next came her jeans, freeing her slim legs…not long, but shapely. Her thighs were smoother than ever under my palms, and I’d never noticed just how delicate her ankles were.
I undressed myself, wanting to be able to feel skin on skin when I got to my favorite place. She watched me with heat in her eyes, raking her gaze over every part of me. My chest tightened and my body thrummed with anticipation. I didn’t bother to analyze the way she made me feel…just enjoyed it for what it was, and ‘what it was’ was fantastic…
Naked, I kneeled between her knees and leaned in to peel off her cotton underwear. Her scent was thick. I slid my fingers into her folds, savoring the slickness that was there for me, because of me. I swirled my fingers around her clit and watched her throat flex as she tossed her head back and moaned.
I wanted to taste her; I wanted to make her scream. But it seemed wrong, somehow…it was incredibly insufficient, incapable of channeling the intensity of my desire for her. I needed to be inside of her, and she looked at me like she needed the same thing.
I leaned forward and held my body over hers. She looked up at me, trusting and wanting and beautiful. I sighed as my lips gravitated to hers. She met my kiss, drawing me in with her fingers in my hair. Her nails scraped against my scalp, little more than a faint tickle. I smiled against her mouth.
“You really are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“And you’re the only one who’s ever really made me feel beautiful,” she sighed back, blushing.
“Good,” I murmured. “That’s what I want for you.”
Her legs lifted to hug my waist with her thighs. “Edward…make love to me now?” she requested uncertainly, pleading with her wide eyes. She could ask me anything, looking at me like that, and I would be helpless to refuse her.
“Anything,” I whispered as I slowly pressed into her.
It had been less than a week since I’d last felt this, her heat wrapped around me, but it seemed like forever. No, that wasn’t quite right. This felt new all over again, as if I’d never experienced her body before, and it was oh-so-heavenly. I watched her eyes close halfway as her lips parted on a gasp. I kept my eyes on her desire-flushed face. I wanted to see every last flicker of emotion on her face as I slid in and out of her. I wanted to know she was feeling the same all-consuming fire I was.
Bella sighed my name as the friction took over, panting softly. I held myself up on one arm and used my free hand to touch her cheek, her neck, her breast, her stomach, and the place where our bodies joined. She moaned hungrily and moved her hips to match my movements. Our locked gazes were like a wire connecting us, through which electricity flowed, crackling and building to unbearable intensity. It was better than it had ever been, and I was drowning. She was drowning with me, and that made it okay. That made it perfect.
Her body quivered under mine, and suddenly she clenched around me with a soft cry of my name.
“Bella,” I groaned, releasing just as suddenly, overwhelmed. Her soft fingers stroked through my hair while I tried to regain enough composure to move without hurting her. It felt good. I heard a soft rumble and then Bella giggled.
“Edward, was that a…purr?”
I moved away abruptly, thoroughly embarrassed. I knew for a fact that I’d never made any such noise in my whole existence.
Bella turned to me, still laughing. “Oh, don’t be like that. I liked it. I want to make you do it again.”
I sighed. “You have a ridiculous amount of power over me. It’s completely unfair.”
“Then we’re even.” She snuggled into my side and pressed a kiss to my shoulder. I wrapped an arm around her and held her there.
“Edward…can I say it?” She looked up at me, eyes shining with hope and vulnerability, and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know what she meant. I nodded, and she gave a watery smile.
“I love you, Edward.”
The words still ignited a sense of panic, but there was warmth there, too, and the greater fear of seeing that pain on her face again. What else did I need to know?
“I…love you,” I said carefully, tasting the word on my tongue. Its flavor was bittersweet like dark chocolate, a flavor I vaguely remembered from childhood, promising both pain and pleasure.
Bella’s eyes filled with tears as she gave me a bright smile. “Oh, Edward…thank you,” she breathed, and I understood what she was really saying - thank you for admitting it. I smiled wryly.
“You have no idea how you’ve changed me,” I told her. She just shook her head, chuckling.
“Sure I do. You only had one thing on your mind when we met. Granted…you still do, but it’s different now. You’re different. I can just…feel it.”
“I am,” I acknowledged.
She smiled and curled sleepily into me again. “I’m so tired,” she said. “I can’t sleep without you these days.”
I chuckled. “Me either.”
~
I spent the weekend glued to Bella’s side. It was too hard to be away from her now, and she expressed the same feeling.
I was surprised at how easy it was to be with her now that I wasn’t constantly analyzing my own feelings and motivations. To simply enjoy her without question was…blissful. Would it be even easier, or harder, if she knew what I was? Could I act naturally around her without making a fatal slip, or was it simply better to keep the human façade? Would she even be here if she knew? The worry and guilt associated with that question gnawed and nagged at me. I wanted it gone, but I wasn’t sure of the right choice.
I had seen firsthand the ruthless way in which the Volturi eliminated any threat. The thought of putting Bella in danger of their wrath was difficult to entertain. Still, I felt the weight of my deception. She should know what she had fallen in love with. She should be able to take the words back if she wanted.
Indecision kept me paralyzed, and I went about life as usual with Bella. There was homework, pretending to eat, watching films on the couch, fantastic sex…
On Saturday evening, she requested I play her lullaby for her, which I did. I offered to teach it to her, but she refused, saying it wouldn’t be the same.
When we went to bed, I took the opportunity to do what I’d missed out on the night before. At least, I did until she shoved me over and climbed on top of me with a determined expression. That was a sight to behold.
Sunday came with a sense of déjà vu. Our impending separation hung over us, a dark cloud dampening both our moods. It seemed wrong to go back to the old routine of classes and nights apart. I needed to do something.
“I wish I could spend every night with you,” she sighed, curled against me. I considered that. Why shouldn’t she? Why shouldn’t she be here whenever she wanted?
“You know…I have a spare key that goes unused. You could have it…come over whenever you feel like,” I offered, watching her face carefully for her reaction.
She was ecstatic.
“Really? You’re…sure? I mean, that’s not too much too soon? Not that I’m objecting, I would love that, but I wouldn’t want -“
“I’m sure,” I cut her off. “I’m happier when you’re here. So…just come over, anytime you want. You could leave things here, too…you know, if you wanted to stay over more often…”
Bella grinned and threw her arms around me. “I’d love that. Thank you, Edward.”
I would have to be more careful if she were to be popping in unannounced, but surely it wouldn’t be too hard. Hunting in the day time…taking a change of clothing with me, should I make a mess…otherwise, there should be nothing to reveal me for what I was… Even if I was doing something no human should be able to do, I would hear her coming long before she actually arrived.
When I took Bella home that night, it was with my spare key in her hand. It felt right.
On Tuesday morning, my phone rang, the screen listing a number I’d never seen before.
“Hello?” I answered reluctantly.
“Edward, it’s Carlisle.”
I blinked. “Hello…”
“I’m sure this call comes as a surprise to you, but this is an urgent matter,” Carlisle went on. “Edward, you haven’t…slipped, have you?”
I was automatically defensive. Did he think so little of me? “No, I have not.”
Carlisle sighed. “I’m sorry to have asked, truly, but there have been several deaths in Seattle in the past week which can only be attributed to our kind.”
I froze. “Then there are others nearby?”
“So it seems,” Carlisle said. “Alice has seen three of them headed our way, but it looks as though they’re already in Seattle. I worry they’ll cut through your town, and I thought you should have the warning.”
“Thank you.” Vampires, here? Vampires who would have no second thoughts about killing Bella? Yes, I needed that warning. I wasn’t letting Bella out of my sight until the threat had passed, and I meant that literally.
I followed her for the rest of Tuesday, until she took advantage of her new key to come to me instead. It was tricky to go from following her to being in my apartment before she got there, but I managed unseen. Wednesday was easier; I made sure we left my apartment at the same time for morning classes, and I skipped biology to watch her until sociology, and then afterward. She went back to her dorm that night, and I hovered beneath her window, feeling absurdly like an overgrown guard-dog. I swallowed my pride and ignored that feeling. Bella was more important.
Thursday passed much as Tuesday had, but Friday threw me for a loop.
It was sunny.
My one consolation was that if I was barred from the sunlight, so were the other vampires. Still, it pained me to miss out on some of my time with Bella. I sent her a text message claiming a migraine, which was as good a reason for refusing to come out in the sunlight as any I could come up with. She texted back that she would check on me after her last class. I made sure the blinds were thoroughly shut in preparation.
I only left my apartment far enough to collect the newspaper outside my door. I found the day to day news of humans utterly boring, but still, I read the paper on a daily basis in order to track the suspicions of humans. It had proven useful before.
I wasn’t expecting anything out of the ordinary in the news today, but the front page headline paralyzed me with shock.
CAMPUS KILLER STRIKES AGAIN
The article told of the death of a young coed, following in the pattern of the so-called Campus Killer who hadn’t stricken in nearly two months.
I blinked. I had been the Campus Killer, and I certainly hadn’t struck anything. That could only mean…
I flipped open my phone and plugged in Carlisle’s number. He answered on the first ring.
“Edward?”
“The vampires, are they here?” I demanded.
Carlisle hesitated. “I can’t be sure. Alice saw them feeding, but she couldn’t pinpoint their location.”
I growled. “Well, it’s front page news today.”
“Keep Bella close,” Carlisle warned. “I’ll tell Alice to keep watch.”
That was the best that could be done. I hung up, dissatisfied. I tossed the paper - having read it, I had it memorized, and I didn’t want to see it again. It was an unwelcome reminder of my very recent past.
I was still pacing restlessly that afternoon when Bella came through the door, scowling, today’s newspaper in hand. I stopped in my tracks and opened my mouth to greet her, but she was faster.
“I know what you are.”
A/N: And now comes the part everyone has been asking about, repeatedly, since chapter one. Sorry for the wait on this one; as it turns out, I have a rather hard time writing make-up sex. Who knew?
On a completely different note, Bonne Foi is nominated for two Bellie Awards (Update You Twitter About and Favorite Darkward), and A Madman’s Mercy is also updated for one award (Best Twist on a Canon Quote). If you’d like to put your votes in, you can do so here:
http://www.thecatt.net/tw/Vote.aspx
I was also recently a guest on the Temptation podcast, episode 25. I have no idea why anyone would want to listen to us babble on the way we did about Harry Potter and other such random things, but there is some talk about fanfiction in there.