Bonne Foi
Title: Bonne Foi
Author: Amethyst Jackson
Category: Drama, Romance
Rating: M
Summary: AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Disclaimer: A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that’s Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I’m just having fun with them.
Chapter Sixteen
Watching Bella wake up in the morning was becoming one of my favorite things. She was just so...amusing. It usually began with her saying something absurd in her sleep - this morning it was the complaint, "The sea monkeys stole my money, Edward." Then she would flop over onto the side opposite of which she slept on, often throwing her body over mine in the process. She snuggled me as if I were a teddy bear; it was bizarre. Even her subconscious remained unafraid of me. While her backward instincts continued to baffle me, I liked that she was strange.
With Bella sprawled out over me, I couldn’t resist touching. Her naked back and thighs were in easy reach. I palmed the smooth, warm skin, so perfect… There was a little beauty mark on her left lower back I’d never noticed before. As I was circling it with my index finger, she squirmed and rolled away, onto her back. Well, that left even better things exposed.
I reached over and play with a rosy nipple, enjoying the way it hardened at my touch. It was time to wake her up to play, I decided, and I knew the perfect way to do it. Carefully, so as not to wake her too soon, I knelt between her legs and lowered my mouth to her sex. Moisture glistened on her lips, and my mouth watered. I loved her taste.
I eased my tongue out and lapped up her body’s offering, savoring the sweet richness. I brought my mouth up to suck gently at her clit. She moaned my name. Was she awake yet? I didn’t risk looking up to check.
Carefully again, I pressed two fingers inside of her, and as she gasped, her hands clutched my hair. Definitely awake now. I licked and sucked her clit in time with my pumping fingers, working her steadily toward release. Her moans turned into keening cries and I continued, then her hips started rocking into me, and then she clenched around my fingers and yelled out her climax.
I only stopped when she calmed down, and then I pulled my fingers free to lick them clean. I glanced up to see her watching with heavy-lidded eyes.
“Good morning,” I said with an unapologetic smirk.
She laughed breathily. “That’s one way to put it. You…really like doing that?”
“Doing what?” I asked, sensing a perfect opportunity to tease her.
She blushed. “You know…”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Licking your pussy? Eating out your juicy cunt? Savoring your sweet snatch? …Hmm, that was a nice bit of alliteration, don’t you think?”
Bella rolled her eyes, now fire-engine red. “You really like it?”
“Yes, why wouldn’t I?” I asked. I couldn’t resist giving her another lick to prove my point. She yelped.
“But isn’t it…doesn’t it taste nasty?” she said with her nose wrinkled.
“No,” I crawled over her, bringing our faces level. “You’re delicious. Would you like to see for yourself?”
Her brow furrowed. “You want me to…?”
“Just kiss me,” I suggested, more than a little turned on at the prospect of her tasting herself on my lips. Granted, I was more than a little turned on to begin with.
She bit her lip in brief contemplation before arching up and pressing her lips to mine. I flicked my tongue against her lips and was surprised at how readily she opened her mouth and wound her tongue with mine. A growl rumbled in my throat as she sucked lightly.
Bella pulled back and licked her lips. “Hmm. We taste good together. But I think you taste better.”
“Naughty little thing,” I grinned. “Is there anything you won’t try?”
She thought about it. “Well, there are things I don’t understand why anyone would try, but as long as we don’t go to extremes…no, I’ll pretty much try anything.”
“In that case, remind me to get some handcuffs.”
She let out a surprised laugh, which was followed by an unhappy gurgle from her stomach. “I think it’s breakfast time,” she grimaced.
I rolled off her and flopped back to the bed on a sigh. “All right. But get your cute butt back here as soon as you’re done.”
She rolled her eyes and went to my dresser to pull out a T-shirt. It barely covered her bottom; she should really wear my clothes more often. “Keep the bed warm for me,” she said as she sauntered out to the kitchen. I laughed quietly to myself. Keep the bed warm…
I listened to the sounds of Bella having a bowl of cereal, the clink of the spoon and the crunch of her chewing. I thought about joining her, but that might give her the idea that I was ready to get out of bed, which I certainly was not.
She stopped in the bathroom on the way back, but eventually, she came in and hopped back onto the bed. “So, what are we doing today?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Do you have to ask?”
“We can’t do that all day.” I kept the eyebrow raised. “Okay, I can’t do that all day,” she clarified with a laugh.
“We can figure out something to do once I get rid of this,” I said, indicating the bulge in my lap with a nod of my head. It had been there since about four in the morning. “Until then, I’ll be able to think of nothing else. Especially while you’re not wearing panties.”
~
Bella eventually did drag me out of bed, but we didn’t make it far; we wound up on the couch, reading. It was her idea, but I was pleased with it. She curled up with Emily Bronte while I continued my study of Sartre. It was comfortable. She eventually stretched out with her head in my lap, book held over her face, and we stayed that way for several hours.
Eventually Bella wandered back to the kitchen to make a sandwich for lunch, and I turned down her offer to make me one as well. Afterward, she wanted a piano lesson, and I spent the afternoon showing her the correct hand positions and posture, guiding her through scales and simple songs. She often grew frustrated, but she was also determined, so much so that I could only find it humorous. She simply refused to fail, as if that were a choice one could make.
Around dinnertime, I realized I would have to feed Bella again - didn’t humans tire of eating so often? - and I was in no position to cook anything. The two options seemed to be ordering in or eating out. I contemplated which one would make it easier to disguise how little I would “eat.”
“Bella, would you like to go out tonight?” I asked, still sitting behind her on the piano bench. She was trying to pick her way through “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” for the umpteenth time.
“Out where?” she asked, distracted.
“To dinner, and maybe somewhere else… We’ve never been on an actual date, you know.”
She smiled slightly. “A date, huh? Like dinner and a movie?”
“Like that. Maybe I could take you dancing.”
“I’m not a good dancer,” she said uneasily. “Besides, I didn’t bring anything nice to wear.”
“Maybe just a movie then,” I agreed, but my mind was stuck on the fantasy of Bella’s body swaying to a slow beat. “I will take you dancing one day, though.”
~
We went to the town’s only Italian restaurant, Bella’s choice. For once, our waiter wasn’t an idiot, and he placed us in a quiet booth in the corner. Bella ordered lasagna; I opted for the spaghetti. It would be easy to make it look like I’d eaten more than I had - and at least the sauce was the right color, if not the right flavor.
“This feels too normal for us,” Bella remarked, nibbling on a breadstick. “I mean, we’ve been doing everything backwards until now.”
“Well, this is pretty backwards,” I pointed out. “Going on our first date three weeks into the relationship.”
“True,” she agreed. “But I’m not sure we shouldn’t have eloped to Vegas first.”
I forced a laugh. Of course, she was joking, but jokes had a tendency to belie deeper thoughts. Had Bella been contemplating marriage with me? Did she have it in her head that our relationship was headed in that direction? That was impossible, and it was a dangerous thing for her to be thinking.
“What movie would you like to see?” I asked her to change the subject.
She started talking about some new French film that was playing at the independent theater. She was extremely enthusiastic about it, and I was more than willing to let her talk. It kept her distracted well after our food arrived, and I doubted she noticed how little I ingested. What I did have to swallow sat like lead in my stomach. Oh, the things I did for this human.
After dinner, we went to the theater. It was in walking distance from the restaurant. Bella placed her hand in mine as we were walking. I had always questioned this odd human practice; what could holding hands possibly do for a person? But I couldn’t deny my desire to constantly be touching Bella Swan, and I wondered if perhaps she felt the same. Perhaps that was the purpose.
The movie Bella wanted to see wasn’t due to start for another forty-five minutes, so we wandered down the streets nearby. This part of town was the most…liberal, and there were a variety of locally-owned shops selling all sorts of bizarre things. Hippies, I thought to myself. Bella seemed to find the displays fascinating, drawn by bright colors and oddities.
“Look, Edward, they make custom music boxes,” she exclaimed giddily, stopping in front of another window. “Isn’t that fantastic?”
“Music boxes?” I surveyed the selection. The shop, according to the sign, could make music boxes to play anything and offered a variety of designs. A very creative enterprise.
“Let’s go inside,” she beseeched, tugging on my arm.
“All right,” I laughed at her antics. I followed Bella around as she browsed the little wooden music boxes. They were quite highly priced, apparently handmade, and the customized ones would cost even more.
“They’re lovely, aren’t they?” Bella sighed. “I’ve always loved music boxes. I had one when I was little that played “Once Upon a Dream” from Sleeping Beauty with the prince and princess dancing… I have no idea what happened to it.”
Her face was bittersweet, nostalgic, and as if she had cast a spell on me, I found myself trying to recall my childhood, grasping for memories. I could hear my mother’s voice in the kitchen, scolding me for getting into the apple pie reserved for dessert…
Bella’s little hand found mine, and I returned to the present.
“Come on. The movie will start soon,” she urged.
~
We sat in the back corner of the theater at my suggestion, though Bella’s narrowed eyes said she knew exactly what I was thinking.
“I do actually want to see this movie,” she hissed under the previews. “If you wanted to do that, we should have stayed home.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” I laughed, putting up the armrest between us. What an unwelcome barrier. “But if the movie bores you, do I have to keep my hands to myself?”
She blushed and pursed her lips. “Tell you what - if the movie bores me, I won’t keep my hands to myself.”
I groaned a little at her tentative brazenness. “In that case, I hope this is the most dreadfully dull thing you’ve ever seen.”
The lights went down and the film began. In the darkness, the light of the film illuminating Bella’s face, it was like a current of electricity crackled between us, begging for me to touch her and forbidding me all at once.
Bella watched the movie with utmost concentration. Apparently, she did not find it boring, though I did. Just another drama with cryptic dialogue and vague acting. I found nothing particularly intriguing in the plot.
Until the sex scene began. A rather graphic sex scene. As interesting as that was, Bella’s reaction was even better. Her heart raced, sending waves of her scent crashing over me, and her face flushed, and the scent of arousal poured off her in drugging waves. I leaned closer, feeling her body’s slight increase in temperature.
“Definitely not boring,” I whispered in her ear, enjoying her slow shudder as my breath cooled her skin. “Must I still keep my hands to myself?”
She slowly shook her head no, though her eyes stayed on the screen. I considered it a challenge. With one hand, I unfastened her jeans and slipped down into her underwear. My fingers were greeted with slick, hot skin as I reached further down.
A harsh gasp left her throat as I parted her folds. She clutched her armrest and clenched her jaw against the other sounds I knew were fighting to escape.
“Do you like that? Watching two people go at it while I finger you? With all those other people, oblivious to what my hand is doing? Mmm, yes, you like it, you naughty girl,” I purred, knowing she was terribly susceptible to dirty talk.
Her soft moan blended in with the sounds of the actress on screen. I circled her clit slowly, carefully, drawing out the sensations. Her hand came down to grasp my arm.
“Faster,” she hissed. I swirled my finger in quick circles in harmony with her rocking hips. The love scene was over by now, but neither of us cared. Bella’s face was twisted in concentration, and it was clear she would need more. I shifted my hand, sinking two fingers inside of her while pressing the heel of my hand to her clitoris. I rocked my hand firmly, and in a matter of seconds, she was turning her face into my shoulder, muffling her close-mouthed cries against my shirt.
Would I ever get tired of seeing this girl fall apart for me?
She spent the rest of the movie resting against my side.
Bella was yawning by the time we got back to the car. I chuckled at her, watching her practically wilt in the passenger seat. “Have I tired you out?”
She snorted. “Well, I have had - hold on,” she paused to count on her fingers, “yeah, five orgasms today. That can be very taxing. Plus, the insatiable sex addict I’m dating decided to wake me up early.”
“I didn’t hear you complaining,” I replied, enjoying the banter. “Any of the five times, for that matter.”
“I can’t believe I let you grope me in a movie theater,” she blushed.
“I can,” I grinned.
She smacked my arm half-heartedly. “Shut up. Although I have to say, that was the only part of the movie I really liked.”
~
Our Sunday together passed much as Saturday had, though the activities varied a little. Bella had some reading to do for classes, and I toyed with a new composition. We had settled onto the couch, Bella watching some news program on the television, as evening approached. She abruptly sighed and turned the TV off.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
She turned her body to face me, fidgeting a little. “I just feel…so sad all of the sudden, thinking of this weekend being over,” she said quietly, looking tentatively up at me through her lashes. “The more time I spend with you, the harder it is for me to be away from you. Edward, I want you to know…I love you.”
I froze. She looked up at me with such hope and tenderness shining in her eyes, and I had no idea what to do. I should have seen this coming in her growing attachment, should have prepared for it, but I had been living in the moment, heedless. And now I was in a trap of my own making. I had two options. I could lie to keep her, but that would give her all sorts of false ideas about a future that I couldn’t promise her.
Or…or I could end it now. The thought made my chest tighten with inexplicable panic, but I followed it to its conclusion nonetheless. If I ended this, it might be better for us both. What did I expect to happen, after all? We couldn’t go on as we were forever. She had a life to live. Maybe it was best I move on with mine, too.
Bella looked down at her hands. “You don’t have to say it back. I mean, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just needed to say it.”
“Bella…I think perhaps…we’re moving too fast,” I said carefully, though my throat tightened against the words. Her eyes, initially so trusting, widened in hurt and betrayal, throwing silent accusations. I looked away and pushed on, “It’s only been a month, after all. I think we need a little space from one another.”
I glanced over at her, already feeling the loss. I would…miss her. The prospect of the coming weeks, months, years without her was…bleak. But that was all the more reason to do this. I should not be so attached to her. Surely she wasn’t that important. Surely I would find other diversions.
She gaped at me in disbelief for a long moment before her expression turned abruptly blank. It was as if someone had turned off the lights in her eyes. They were simply…dead.
“I think you should take me home,” she said in a small voice, turning quickly away. She darted into the bedroom to gather the things she had brought with her. I forced myself to stand, to locate my car keys. This was absurd, being so paralyzed from a loss I’d been facing all along. She was only a human. Why couldn’t I view her like the others, expendable?
In time, I told myself, I would cease to see her this way. I knew it was a lie.
Bella returned, still with the blank expression. The walk out to the car was silent, as was the short ride which she spent staring out the window. I couldn’t tell what was going on in her head, and it frustrated me. I thought I saw pain in her posture, but I couldn’t be sure, and I couldn’t seem to keep myself from caring.
When we pulled up to the dormitory, she got out without a word, without a single look back.
Her scent lingered, though, in the leather of the seats, and I knew it would permeate the apartment. It clouded my head, allowing me to think of nothing else.
I had to get away from the scent, away from this town. I needed to gain some sense of objectivity, and I needed a distraction.
I pulled the car away and headed west. I was going back to Forks.
~
A/N: Okay, guys, don’t kill me. It couldn’t be smooth sailing forever. But don’t worry. There won’t be any lengthy, New Moon-esque separations fraught with angst. Although maybe Edward deserves it.
Author: Amethyst Jackson
Category: Drama, Romance
Rating: M
Summary: AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Disclaimer: A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that’s Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I’m just having fun with them.
Chapter Sixteen
Watching Bella wake up in the morning was becoming one of my favorite things. She was just so...amusing. It usually began with her saying something absurd in her sleep - this morning it was the complaint, "The sea monkeys stole my money, Edward." Then she would flop over onto the side opposite of which she slept on, often throwing her body over mine in the process. She snuggled me as if I were a teddy bear; it was bizarre. Even her subconscious remained unafraid of me. While her backward instincts continued to baffle me, I liked that she was strange.
With Bella sprawled out over me, I couldn’t resist touching. Her naked back and thighs were in easy reach. I palmed the smooth, warm skin, so perfect… There was a little beauty mark on her left lower back I’d never noticed before. As I was circling it with my index finger, she squirmed and rolled away, onto her back. Well, that left even better things exposed.
I reached over and play with a rosy nipple, enjoying the way it hardened at my touch. It was time to wake her up to play, I decided, and I knew the perfect way to do it. Carefully, so as not to wake her too soon, I knelt between her legs and lowered my mouth to her sex. Moisture glistened on her lips, and my mouth watered. I loved her taste.
I eased my tongue out and lapped up her body’s offering, savoring the sweet richness. I brought my mouth up to suck gently at her clit. She moaned my name. Was she awake yet? I didn’t risk looking up to check.
Carefully again, I pressed two fingers inside of her, and as she gasped, her hands clutched my hair. Definitely awake now. I licked and sucked her clit in time with my pumping fingers, working her steadily toward release. Her moans turned into keening cries and I continued, then her hips started rocking into me, and then she clenched around my fingers and yelled out her climax.
I only stopped when she calmed down, and then I pulled my fingers free to lick them clean. I glanced up to see her watching with heavy-lidded eyes.
“Good morning,” I said with an unapologetic smirk.
She laughed breathily. “That’s one way to put it. You…really like doing that?”
“Doing what?” I asked, sensing a perfect opportunity to tease her.
She blushed. “You know…”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Licking your pussy? Eating out your juicy cunt? Savoring your sweet snatch? …Hmm, that was a nice bit of alliteration, don’t you think?”
Bella rolled her eyes, now fire-engine red. “You really like it?”
“Yes, why wouldn’t I?” I asked. I couldn’t resist giving her another lick to prove my point. She yelped.
“But isn’t it…doesn’t it taste nasty?” she said with her nose wrinkled.
“No,” I crawled over her, bringing our faces level. “You’re delicious. Would you like to see for yourself?”
Her brow furrowed. “You want me to…?”
“Just kiss me,” I suggested, more than a little turned on at the prospect of her tasting herself on my lips. Granted, I was more than a little turned on to begin with.
She bit her lip in brief contemplation before arching up and pressing her lips to mine. I flicked my tongue against her lips and was surprised at how readily she opened her mouth and wound her tongue with mine. A growl rumbled in my throat as she sucked lightly.
Bella pulled back and licked her lips. “Hmm. We taste good together. But I think you taste better.”
“Naughty little thing,” I grinned. “Is there anything you won’t try?”
She thought about it. “Well, there are things I don’t understand why anyone would try, but as long as we don’t go to extremes…no, I’ll pretty much try anything.”
“In that case, remind me to get some handcuffs.”
She let out a surprised laugh, which was followed by an unhappy gurgle from her stomach. “I think it’s breakfast time,” she grimaced.
I rolled off her and flopped back to the bed on a sigh. “All right. But get your cute butt back here as soon as you’re done.”
She rolled her eyes and went to my dresser to pull out a T-shirt. It barely covered her bottom; she should really wear my clothes more often. “Keep the bed warm for me,” she said as she sauntered out to the kitchen. I laughed quietly to myself. Keep the bed warm…
I listened to the sounds of Bella having a bowl of cereal, the clink of the spoon and the crunch of her chewing. I thought about joining her, but that might give her the idea that I was ready to get out of bed, which I certainly was not.
She stopped in the bathroom on the way back, but eventually, she came in and hopped back onto the bed. “So, what are we doing today?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Do you have to ask?”
“We can’t do that all day.” I kept the eyebrow raised. “Okay, I can’t do that all day,” she clarified with a laugh.
“We can figure out something to do once I get rid of this,” I said, indicating the bulge in my lap with a nod of my head. It had been there since about four in the morning. “Until then, I’ll be able to think of nothing else. Especially while you’re not wearing panties.”
~
Bella eventually did drag me out of bed, but we didn’t make it far; we wound up on the couch, reading. It was her idea, but I was pleased with it. She curled up with Emily Bronte while I continued my study of Sartre. It was comfortable. She eventually stretched out with her head in my lap, book held over her face, and we stayed that way for several hours.
Eventually Bella wandered back to the kitchen to make a sandwich for lunch, and I turned down her offer to make me one as well. Afterward, she wanted a piano lesson, and I spent the afternoon showing her the correct hand positions and posture, guiding her through scales and simple songs. She often grew frustrated, but she was also determined, so much so that I could only find it humorous. She simply refused to fail, as if that were a choice one could make.
Around dinnertime, I realized I would have to feed Bella again - didn’t humans tire of eating so often? - and I was in no position to cook anything. The two options seemed to be ordering in or eating out. I contemplated which one would make it easier to disguise how little I would “eat.”
“Bella, would you like to go out tonight?” I asked, still sitting behind her on the piano bench. She was trying to pick her way through “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” for the umpteenth time.
“Out where?” she asked, distracted.
“To dinner, and maybe somewhere else… We’ve never been on an actual date, you know.”
She smiled slightly. “A date, huh? Like dinner and a movie?”
“Like that. Maybe I could take you dancing.”
“I’m not a good dancer,” she said uneasily. “Besides, I didn’t bring anything nice to wear.”
“Maybe just a movie then,” I agreed, but my mind was stuck on the fantasy of Bella’s body swaying to a slow beat. “I will take you dancing one day, though.”
~
We went to the town’s only Italian restaurant, Bella’s choice. For once, our waiter wasn’t an idiot, and he placed us in a quiet booth in the corner. Bella ordered lasagna; I opted for the spaghetti. It would be easy to make it look like I’d eaten more than I had - and at least the sauce was the right color, if not the right flavor.
“This feels too normal for us,” Bella remarked, nibbling on a breadstick. “I mean, we’ve been doing everything backwards until now.”
“Well, this is pretty backwards,” I pointed out. “Going on our first date three weeks into the relationship.”
“True,” she agreed. “But I’m not sure we shouldn’t have eloped to Vegas first.”
I forced a laugh. Of course, she was joking, but jokes had a tendency to belie deeper thoughts. Had Bella been contemplating marriage with me? Did she have it in her head that our relationship was headed in that direction? That was impossible, and it was a dangerous thing for her to be thinking.
“What movie would you like to see?” I asked her to change the subject.
She started talking about some new French film that was playing at the independent theater. She was extremely enthusiastic about it, and I was more than willing to let her talk. It kept her distracted well after our food arrived, and I doubted she noticed how little I ingested. What I did have to swallow sat like lead in my stomach. Oh, the things I did for this human.
After dinner, we went to the theater. It was in walking distance from the restaurant. Bella placed her hand in mine as we were walking. I had always questioned this odd human practice; what could holding hands possibly do for a person? But I couldn’t deny my desire to constantly be touching Bella Swan, and I wondered if perhaps she felt the same. Perhaps that was the purpose.
The movie Bella wanted to see wasn’t due to start for another forty-five minutes, so we wandered down the streets nearby. This part of town was the most…liberal, and there were a variety of locally-owned shops selling all sorts of bizarre things. Hippies, I thought to myself. Bella seemed to find the displays fascinating, drawn by bright colors and oddities.
“Look, Edward, they make custom music boxes,” she exclaimed giddily, stopping in front of another window. “Isn’t that fantastic?”
“Music boxes?” I surveyed the selection. The shop, according to the sign, could make music boxes to play anything and offered a variety of designs. A very creative enterprise.
“Let’s go inside,” she beseeched, tugging on my arm.
“All right,” I laughed at her antics. I followed Bella around as she browsed the little wooden music boxes. They were quite highly priced, apparently handmade, and the customized ones would cost even more.
“They’re lovely, aren’t they?” Bella sighed. “I’ve always loved music boxes. I had one when I was little that played “Once Upon a Dream” from Sleeping Beauty with the prince and princess dancing… I have no idea what happened to it.”
Her face was bittersweet, nostalgic, and as if she had cast a spell on me, I found myself trying to recall my childhood, grasping for memories. I could hear my mother’s voice in the kitchen, scolding me for getting into the apple pie reserved for dessert…
Bella’s little hand found mine, and I returned to the present.
“Come on. The movie will start soon,” she urged.
~
We sat in the back corner of the theater at my suggestion, though Bella’s narrowed eyes said she knew exactly what I was thinking.
“I do actually want to see this movie,” she hissed under the previews. “If you wanted to do that, we should have stayed home.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” I laughed, putting up the armrest between us. What an unwelcome barrier. “But if the movie bores you, do I have to keep my hands to myself?”
She blushed and pursed her lips. “Tell you what - if the movie bores me, I won’t keep my hands to myself.”
I groaned a little at her tentative brazenness. “In that case, I hope this is the most dreadfully dull thing you’ve ever seen.”
The lights went down and the film began. In the darkness, the light of the film illuminating Bella’s face, it was like a current of electricity crackled between us, begging for me to touch her and forbidding me all at once.
Bella watched the movie with utmost concentration. Apparently, she did not find it boring, though I did. Just another drama with cryptic dialogue and vague acting. I found nothing particularly intriguing in the plot.
Until the sex scene began. A rather graphic sex scene. As interesting as that was, Bella’s reaction was even better. Her heart raced, sending waves of her scent crashing over me, and her face flushed, and the scent of arousal poured off her in drugging waves. I leaned closer, feeling her body’s slight increase in temperature.
“Definitely not boring,” I whispered in her ear, enjoying her slow shudder as my breath cooled her skin. “Must I still keep my hands to myself?”
She slowly shook her head no, though her eyes stayed on the screen. I considered it a challenge. With one hand, I unfastened her jeans and slipped down into her underwear. My fingers were greeted with slick, hot skin as I reached further down.
A harsh gasp left her throat as I parted her folds. She clutched her armrest and clenched her jaw against the other sounds I knew were fighting to escape.
“Do you like that? Watching two people go at it while I finger you? With all those other people, oblivious to what my hand is doing? Mmm, yes, you like it, you naughty girl,” I purred, knowing she was terribly susceptible to dirty talk.
Her soft moan blended in with the sounds of the actress on screen. I circled her clit slowly, carefully, drawing out the sensations. Her hand came down to grasp my arm.
“Faster,” she hissed. I swirled my finger in quick circles in harmony with her rocking hips. The love scene was over by now, but neither of us cared. Bella’s face was twisted in concentration, and it was clear she would need more. I shifted my hand, sinking two fingers inside of her while pressing the heel of my hand to her clitoris. I rocked my hand firmly, and in a matter of seconds, she was turning her face into my shoulder, muffling her close-mouthed cries against my shirt.
Would I ever get tired of seeing this girl fall apart for me?
She spent the rest of the movie resting against my side.
Bella was yawning by the time we got back to the car. I chuckled at her, watching her practically wilt in the passenger seat. “Have I tired you out?”
She snorted. “Well, I have had - hold on,” she paused to count on her fingers, “yeah, five orgasms today. That can be very taxing. Plus, the insatiable sex addict I’m dating decided to wake me up early.”
“I didn’t hear you complaining,” I replied, enjoying the banter. “Any of the five times, for that matter.”
“I can’t believe I let you grope me in a movie theater,” she blushed.
“I can,” I grinned.
She smacked my arm half-heartedly. “Shut up. Although I have to say, that was the only part of the movie I really liked.”
~
Our Sunday together passed much as Saturday had, though the activities varied a little. Bella had some reading to do for classes, and I toyed with a new composition. We had settled onto the couch, Bella watching some news program on the television, as evening approached. She abruptly sighed and turned the TV off.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
She turned her body to face me, fidgeting a little. “I just feel…so sad all of the sudden, thinking of this weekend being over,” she said quietly, looking tentatively up at me through her lashes. “The more time I spend with you, the harder it is for me to be away from you. Edward, I want you to know…I love you.”
I froze. She looked up at me with such hope and tenderness shining in her eyes, and I had no idea what to do. I should have seen this coming in her growing attachment, should have prepared for it, but I had been living in the moment, heedless. And now I was in a trap of my own making. I had two options. I could lie to keep her, but that would give her all sorts of false ideas about a future that I couldn’t promise her.
Or…or I could end it now. The thought made my chest tighten with inexplicable panic, but I followed it to its conclusion nonetheless. If I ended this, it might be better for us both. What did I expect to happen, after all? We couldn’t go on as we were forever. She had a life to live. Maybe it was best I move on with mine, too.
Bella looked down at her hands. “You don’t have to say it back. I mean, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just needed to say it.”
“Bella…I think perhaps…we’re moving too fast,” I said carefully, though my throat tightened against the words. Her eyes, initially so trusting, widened in hurt and betrayal, throwing silent accusations. I looked away and pushed on, “It’s only been a month, after all. I think we need a little space from one another.”
I glanced over at her, already feeling the loss. I would…miss her. The prospect of the coming weeks, months, years without her was…bleak. But that was all the more reason to do this. I should not be so attached to her. Surely she wasn’t that important. Surely I would find other diversions.
She gaped at me in disbelief for a long moment before her expression turned abruptly blank. It was as if someone had turned off the lights in her eyes. They were simply…dead.
“I think you should take me home,” she said in a small voice, turning quickly away. She darted into the bedroom to gather the things she had brought with her. I forced myself to stand, to locate my car keys. This was absurd, being so paralyzed from a loss I’d been facing all along. She was only a human. Why couldn’t I view her like the others, expendable?
In time, I told myself, I would cease to see her this way. I knew it was a lie.
Bella returned, still with the blank expression. The walk out to the car was silent, as was the short ride which she spent staring out the window. I couldn’t tell what was going on in her head, and it frustrated me. I thought I saw pain in her posture, but I couldn’t be sure, and I couldn’t seem to keep myself from caring.
When we pulled up to the dormitory, she got out without a word, without a single look back.
Her scent lingered, though, in the leather of the seats, and I knew it would permeate the apartment. It clouded my head, allowing me to think of nothing else.
I had to get away from the scent, away from this town. I needed to gain some sense of objectivity, and I needed a distraction.
I pulled the car away and headed west. I was going back to Forks.
~
A/N: Okay, guys, don’t kill me. It couldn’t be smooth sailing forever. But don’t worry. There won’t be any lengthy, New Moon-esque separations fraught with angst. Although maybe Edward deserves it.