WORST FANFIC EVAH!
I finally typed up a summary to the WORST FANFIC EVAH and I don't want to lose it.
The WORST FANFIC EVAH! begins sometime after 5 year. Hermione Granger is living happily with her parents until OH NOES She is disowneded. (and pwned. very much pwned).
Filled with angst, she somehow managed to either a) get enough money to afford a house on Privet Drive or b) went to stay with someone (I cannot remember, but no matter). Being so filled with angst, she get several tattoos (A gryffindor one, a rvaenclaw one,a slytherin on and a star. Hufflepuff was left out because.. I dunno. I guess the author though them lame). She also decides to change her name to Mya.
Hermione (or Mya) goes to Harry's in an attempt to vent her angst to him (since he's quite good at angst) but it turns out Harry had a girlfriend over at that particular instant in time when Hermione/Mya came over. She flips out being all "HOMG BUT YOUS NOT MY FRIEND NO MORE!" and storms out..
Similar reaction when she recieves a owl back from Ron that, aside from condolences, bring news that he too has a girlfriend for the summer.
I don't remember much until it is time for the Hogwarts Express. Hermione/Mya is still wangsting and when she meets up with Harry and Ron on the trains she all "*anger glare hiss*" then runs off with Draco Malfoy. They proceed to make out.
Yes, Make out. No "dirty mudblood." no "ferret face". No objections, they just seem to feel the inexplicable need to eat each others face. So they do so, written in detail.. horrible horrible detail.
Upon arrival to Hogwarts Hermione/Mya and Draco finish their face eating session and walk in. In the great hall, however, the Sorting Hat detects a disturbance in the force and goes. "Blimey mate. It seems someone is the wrong house. Hermione Granger COME ON DOWN!"
It is then that Hermione proceeds to be resorted into Slytherin, where she and Draco Malfoy continue to eat face.
There were two or so chapters that consisted solely of Hermione/Mya being all "omg betrayed" with Harry and Ron (who have really done nothing wrong) and making out with Draco Malfoy. The issue of blood is not brought up once.
Tim passes and it turns out that Draco is to go home for Christmas and take his mark. Hermione/Mya decided "I hate Harry/Ron! I wanna be a death eater too!" and she tags along.
At Malfoy Manor, Voldybutt is waiting for them. Words are exchanged, Draco gets his mark and Voldybutt's attention is turned to Hermione/Mya.
He reveals to Hermione/Mya that she is not muggleborn. She is pureblood and a descendant of Ravenclaw and that her true name is Angel (something I can't remember). He then proceeds to procure up the Grangers and asks Hermione to keel them.
Before she does she asks them why they disowned her. They reply and I quote "You were too perfect.". She keels them.
Voldy then proceeds to give Hermione/Mya/Angel her mark, but no, she is not worthy yet. SO her gives her a TEMPORARY dark mark (it might have been a run on for all I know).
They then procee to return to Hogwarts where the best part of this enitre fanfic occurs. Draco calls Hermione/Mya/Angel Angel and Pansy goes "wtf.. Am I the only one who notices that she's changed names like 3 TIMES NOW?!"
But that was the only good bit.
The fanfic proceeds (with more horrifically written making out) when Hermione/Mya/Angel finally goes "Hey. I've kidna been a bitch to Harry ad Ron. Maybe I should apologize." She does so and is instantly forgiven (probably because this is magicallyhotoverthesummer!Hermione/Mya/Angel as well).
At this point she goes to Voldemort and goes. "Voldybutt. I dun wanna be death eater no more. I'm gonne be switzerland.. I mean nuetral." and here's the worst part of it all.
Voldemort goes "Okay." and takes off her 'temporary' dark mark.
At this point I couldn't handle any more badly written, horrible OOC, melting my brain fanfiction and left the page. But it has been burned forever in my mind as the WORST FANFIC EVAH! (even though there is a close second, which is funny because of Draco!OOCness and Lucius being types Luscious every time).
I love badfics!
The WORST FANFIC EVAH! begins sometime after 5 year. Hermione Granger is living happily with her parents until OH NOES She is disowneded. (and pwned. very much pwned).
Filled with angst, she somehow managed to either a) get enough money to afford a house on Privet Drive or b) went to stay with someone (I cannot remember, but no matter). Being so filled with angst, she get several tattoos (A gryffindor one, a rvaenclaw one,a slytherin on and a star. Hufflepuff was left out because.. I dunno. I guess the author though them lame). She also decides to change her name to Mya.
Hermione (or Mya) goes to Harry's in an attempt to vent her angst to him (since he's quite good at angst) but it turns out Harry had a girlfriend over at that particular instant in time when Hermione/Mya came over. She flips out being all "HOMG BUT YOUS NOT MY FRIEND NO MORE!" and storms out..
Similar reaction when she recieves a owl back from Ron that, aside from condolences, bring news that he too has a girlfriend for the summer.
I don't remember much until it is time for the Hogwarts Express. Hermione/Mya is still wangsting and when she meets up with Harry and Ron on the trains she all "*anger glare hiss*" then runs off with Draco Malfoy. They proceed to make out.
Yes, Make out. No "dirty mudblood." no "ferret face". No objections, they just seem to feel the inexplicable need to eat each others face. So they do so, written in detail.. horrible horrible detail.
Upon arrival to Hogwarts Hermione/Mya and Draco finish their face eating session and walk in. In the great hall, however, the Sorting Hat detects a disturbance in the force and goes. "Blimey mate. It seems someone is the wrong house. Hermione Granger COME ON DOWN!"
It is then that Hermione proceeds to be resorted into Slytherin, where she and Draco Malfoy continue to eat face.
There were two or so chapters that consisted solely of Hermione/Mya being all "omg betrayed" with Harry and Ron (who have really done nothing wrong) and making out with Draco Malfoy. The issue of blood is not brought up once.
Tim passes and it turns out that Draco is to go home for Christmas and take his mark. Hermione/Mya decided "I hate Harry/Ron! I wanna be a death eater too!" and she tags along.
At Malfoy Manor, Voldybutt is waiting for them. Words are exchanged, Draco gets his mark and Voldybutt's attention is turned to Hermione/Mya.
He reveals to Hermione/Mya that she is not muggleborn. She is pureblood and a descendant of Ravenclaw and that her true name is Angel (something I can't remember). He then proceeds to procure up the Grangers and asks Hermione to keel them.
Before she does she asks them why they disowned her. They reply and I quote "You were too perfect.". She keels them.
Voldy then proceeds to give Hermione/Mya/Angel her mark, but no, she is not worthy yet. SO her gives her a TEMPORARY dark mark (it might have been a run on for all I know).
They then procee to return to Hogwarts where the best part of this enitre fanfic occurs. Draco calls Hermione/Mya/Angel Angel and Pansy goes "wtf.. Am I the only one who notices that she's changed names like 3 TIMES NOW?!"
But that was the only good bit.
The fanfic proceeds (with more horrifically written making out) when Hermione/Mya/Angel finally goes "Hey. I've kidna been a bitch to Harry ad Ron. Maybe I should apologize." She does so and is instantly forgiven (probably because this is magicallyhotoverthesummer!Hermione/Mya/Angel as well).
At this point she goes to Voldemort and goes. "Voldybutt. I dun wanna be death eater no more. I'm gonne be switzerland.. I mean nuetral." and here's the worst part of it all.
Voldemort goes "Okay." and takes off her 'temporary' dark mark.
At this point I couldn't handle any more badly written, horrible OOC, melting my brain fanfiction and left the page. But it has been burned forever in my mind as the WORST FANFIC EVAH! (even though there is a close second, which is funny because of Draco!OOCness and Lucius being types Luscious every time).
I love badfics!