Comments | twilight_las: Round 1 // Challenge 8

needtakehave in twilight_las

Round 1 // Challenge 8 - RESULTS

Nov 29, 2010 01:14

.... and here are the results!

( Results )

!results, !round: #1, !round one - challenge 8

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VOTE FEEDBACK needtakehave November 29 2010, 06:19:15 UTC

VOTE FEEDBACK

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK mistressmarilyn November 29 2010, 07:51:37 UTC

Thanks. I'd love to see mine.

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK frostbit_sky December 1 2010, 02:55:51 UTC

You wrote both characters so well. I like the idea of them having a drink together.
My heart broke for Jacob.

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK wrldpossibility December 1 2010, 23:29:40 UTC

Agreed. You make my heart hurt for Jake!

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK mistressmarilyn December 7 2010, 08:25:11 UTC

Thanks! I feel so much for Jacob. I've never gotten over my visit to La Push, I guess.

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK frostbit_sky November 29 2010, 19:02:36 UTC

Feedback, please.

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK mistressmarilyn November 30 2010, 07:20:41 UTC

All I had to do was read the title to know I'd love this. I can't help but wonder where you came up with the idea. I love the whole carnival/sideshow thing. (Have you seen the move 'Mermaid Chronicles' with Rufus Sewell? Frightening thing about a sideshow mermaid.) I also love Edward backstory, as you know. Nice work!

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK frostbit_sky December 1 2010, 02:53:06 UTC

LOL, thank you. I am glad you love the title. Its always hard for me to come up with one.

The idea, well I couldn't think of anything figurative, so I went with literal. At first I was going to have Bella playing with a bunsen burner in Chemistry class. That was a dead end. No story there.
Then I thought about the sideshow people at Coney Island and when I thought about Edward's past, and Rob's recent film, Water For Elephants, I had my idea.

I haven't seen it. This is the first I heard of it. Is it good? Is it scary? I like Mermaids.

Thanks so much!

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK wrldpossibility November 29 2010, 20:17:14 UTC

Would love feedback!

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK mistressmarilyn November 30 2010, 07:12:44 UTC

Beautifully written, as always. The images are wonderful, but they never interfere with the characterization(s). In this case, you've done a great job of capturing both POVs and giving us insight without sacrificing suspense. I love the fire-like tendrils of blood in the water. I love the eroticism--her sucking his finger and tasting blood. (It reminds me a little of that deleted scene from the original movie where he bites her finger.) And, last but not least, I LOVE the title. Great job (and congrats on the win)!

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK wrldpossibility December 1 2010, 23:30:38 UTC

Oh! I had forgotten about that deleted scene! But it must have been in my subconscious because I loved that one! Thank you!

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK frostbit_sky December 1 2010, 03:00:46 UTC

I voted for yours so you will get my feedback in an email but I just wanted to say I absolutely loved the prose. It was so poetic.

I love the balance between switching the POVs and E&B were very much in character, I felt like it came right out of the books.

Re: VOTE FEEDBACK wrldpossibility December 1 2010, 23:31:15 UTC

Thank you. I sometimes switch POVs too much, but I hoped that in this case, it would work! Glad it did! (Perfect icon to use, btw!)

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