i'm walking on fire
*slumps down in chair*
i'm really...not sure I know what i'm doing. I want to see if I like Jason, but I also want to see if I like Jeremiah and i'm not sure how i'm gonna do both at the same time.
I think it'd take not seeing Jason at all until I have the date with Jeremiah because I know that Jason, upon seeing me would want do the following...
1. cuddle
2. kiss
3. have sex
And I really can't....do any of that, with a clear conscious, and go out with Jeremiah. I just can't.
And it really doesn't help at all that Jason's taken up to saying "muah" after conversations or calling me "love".
*sigh* being with him feels like...quite a commitment. I feel like i'd really really have to like him a lot to even go through with this now. And i'm still in that not-quite-sure period. Which is not good. I can't make the decision now. I have to wait. I have to check out my options. See if I like Jeremiah. See if I even like Jason as much as i'd need to. Because I don't know. Only been on one date! God, it's like talking about marriage upon first meeting someone. Not comfortable at all.
I don't know how i'd pull that off though. Not seeing Jason. I know both of us work and are slightly busy. But...he's gonna want to come and see me. And it's gonna take a lot to either turn him down or to keep him from kissing me if he came down to see me.
How on earth am I going to do this?