general update on life
im back from IAC. i didnt have a great time. i suffered one of my worst breakdowns yet. i just returned to milwaukee from up north and camp. i havent been home in 6 weeks. it feels weird here. maybe because everything is un-lived-in clean. maybe because lean isnt here. i feel like an intruder in my own home. it finally hit me today that lean is gone. i hadnt the time to concentrate on it while at camp and up north is a vacation spot he usually wasnt at anyway. but every time i walk up the stairs to the 3rd floor, where his bed room was and where mine is, i get all choked up and tears well in my eyes. i dont want to deal with it, so im staying online, uploading pix from italy, spring '06.
i worked hard at camp and wrote 26 poems and 19 short stories. im now working on a novella and a full novel. the novel has promise, the novella is just for fun.
im going to spend as little time as possible at home until the 11th. on that date, hank comes home and graham comes home and ill have my car back. life can 'play' again, after this weird 'pause' im in.
im trying to make good with sven. i think its working, :-). i dont like being mad at people or having people be mad at me.