emo
ok, anyone who doesnt want to read about me pining away for sven, dont read the following. just some friendly advice. i just need to get some of this off my chest.
i miss him so much. he hasnt even been gone a week. i get choked up and tears in my eyes when i think that he's leaving. wen he gets back, we have about 4 days together. i cant fit everything i want to tell him, everything i want to do with him in 4 days. i want to watch all 3 LOTR's with him. and the 6 star wars'. and the top 20 best movies ever from iMDb.com. i want to have a romantic evening with him. and i want to go to 6 flags with him. i want to tell him that i love him over and over again until i dont have a voice. and then, when he cant understand me, ill mouth that he shouldnt end what we have because its so wonderful and ive never been so happy in my life. i dont no how im going to even function without him. the day he left, i was all alone at home (dad was at work, mom and sisters were up north). i didnt no what to do with myself. i didnt want to watch tv, i didnt want to play games online, i just wanted to spend time with him. im scared ill turn back into the quiet forgettable me, whose name people cant remember. and now im crying thinking all of this and my mascara (= party + lazy) is running down my face. i dont want him to no that i dont want us to end come august 30. my reasons are all selfish and i have to let him go so he can date the college girls, most (if not all) of whom, im sure, will be better people than me, nicer, smarter, more beautiful. and the worst part is that one of them might make sven more happy than i ever could. i want him to be happy, which is why i wouldnt ask him to stay with me (because im selfish to not want to be replaced). how often is it in HS that even before 2 ppl start dating, they both like each other? i had a crush on sven long before he asked me out. he liked me for 2 weeks before he asked me out. i dont even know that ill end up in or even very near boston for college. its breaking my heart and we havent even broken up yet.