Maybe I'm angry cause I'm the one who's always wrong
So, I'm sure that by now, people already know about the fact that my dad's an alcoholic, right? Right. But it's just so amazing, and even though I'm used to it, to see him come home drunk.
I called him at...one? Actually, one-thirty. And he was already in the bar; I could hear the noise in the backround. And he JUST GOT HOME like, a half-hour ago. Kathy's friend was here like, five minutes before he came home. I assumed that they just went outside to talk, but apparently they went somewhere because she's been gone since then. So he, of course, pointed out the obvious, that the Mets are DONE. And we are. I don't think we're going to clinch the division.
And his second is: where's my baby? He asks me where's Kathy, and I'm like, I don't know. So he grills me about it, and we wind up yelling at each other.
Like, WHAT THE FUCK. Do I LOOK like her fucking babyitter? And then he demands to know where the remotes are, so we fight over THAT too.
I'm just so tired of being here, and seeing this every day. He needs to save money for my party (and my present) and he's also been looking at trucks online (not that that's anything new) but guess what, dad? You need MONEY to do that. Buy a truck, anyway.
It hasn't been a good day for most of us, has it? It wasn't a very good night last night either. At least I have the movies tomorrow with Carlo, Sara, and Nicole to look forward to.
There's also been some inward debating over my boyfriend vs. Carlo. I mean, sure, I like Amador enough, and he's very sweet to me, but how can I kiss him when I'm in love with Carlo? And I just want to FORGET about that fact, but I CAN'T, because he's so amazing, and everytime he smiles or even says my name it makes my heart flip in my chest, and when we sit together with Sara at lunch I can't look at his hand because it makes my heart squeeze because I just want to hold it so bad, much more than I should. He's not making it very easy for me to fall out of love with him, y'know.
...LoDuca just got hit on his knee by a foul tip. He looks to be okay, but five minutes ago he was in some immense pain. (His contract ends this year, and I think he might be a free agent, but I hope he comes back next year; I've never seen a catcher with so much grit and willingness, and stubbornness, to stay in the game.)
I don't feel like myself right now, and my computer's being stupid again. And I can feel my headache coming back. Urgh.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be better, right?