graduation...
so, i graduated on saturday - may 20, 2006 - and truly, i thought that day would never come... i still can't believe it! i'm happy, but i'm sad, and i'm excited, but i'm so scared. i mean, what could be more of a comfort zone than high school, as far as school goes? you go to your classes, you do the required busy work, take a couple of tests every now and then... yeah, pretty sure college won't be anything like that... and what about how we all know every single person? is that even possible in college? what is it going to be like to walk into a room and not know anyone? i don't know anyone at belmont...
senior year really was so freaking great. i spent my time exactly the way i wanted to. my best friends and i were together for most of the day, several nights, and always on the weekends ;)... i have a few regrets of high school as a whole, but only one major regret my senior year. i think i wished it away more than i should have. the "catch-phrase" this year was "OMG ONLY ______ TIL WE GRADUATE!!!" or "well i'll be done soon and be a GRADUATE!!!" - like that would make everything okay. and maybe for some of you, it does. but i just keep thinking about what mrs. reed said one time: "it's so great to be sad to leave, because that's when you know just how much you really enjoyed yourself. and that's great that you had such a good time."
towards the end, i think we all saw each other's true colors. we didn't have to be nice anymore because - well, we don't really have to see each other anymore! that made me sad, because some people that i thought cared about me really did not... so i just shut myself off from them and decided that i didn't care either. i'm not so great in those situations.
i just keep thinking about those last days. friday, monday, and tuesday. the rtv senior show, the BIG senior show, and then my 2 exams. i kept expecting tears, and they never came. a few slipped out, but it wasn't the sobbing i had almost hoped for... just to get some of the tension out. the tears finally came on graduation day when matt grabbed lauren and me and just said "i'm going to miss ya'll so much." - with tears running down his face. i let go and cried then... i finally got it. it's over... high school is OVER forever...
everything still feels so surreal.
sometimes i feel like i'm almost in mourning of my high school career. i mean, sure, i want to move on... but right now i want to stay and give all of my classmates a big hug and say thank you.
all i know is to thank God for the memories and pray for more that are just as good... and maybe even better ;).
senior year really was so freaking great. i spent my time exactly the way i wanted to. my best friends and i were together for most of the day, several nights, and always on the weekends ;)... i have a few regrets of high school as a whole, but only one major regret my senior year. i think i wished it away more than i should have. the "catch-phrase" this year was "OMG ONLY ______ TIL WE GRADUATE!!!" or "well i'll be done soon and be a GRADUATE!!!" - like that would make everything okay. and maybe for some of you, it does. but i just keep thinking about what mrs. reed said one time: "it's so great to be sad to leave, because that's when you know just how much you really enjoyed yourself. and that's great that you had such a good time."
towards the end, i think we all saw each other's true colors. we didn't have to be nice anymore because - well, we don't really have to see each other anymore! that made me sad, because some people that i thought cared about me really did not... so i just shut myself off from them and decided that i didn't care either. i'm not so great in those situations.
i just keep thinking about those last days. friday, monday, and tuesday. the rtv senior show, the BIG senior show, and then my 2 exams. i kept expecting tears, and they never came. a few slipped out, but it wasn't the sobbing i had almost hoped for... just to get some of the tension out. the tears finally came on graduation day when matt grabbed lauren and me and just said "i'm going to miss ya'll so much." - with tears running down his face. i let go and cried then... i finally got it. it's over... high school is OVER forever...
everything still feels so surreal.
sometimes i feel like i'm almost in mourning of my high school career. i mean, sure, i want to move on... but right now i want to stay and give all of my classmates a big hug and say thank you.
all i know is to thank God for the memories and pray for more that are just as good... and maybe even better ;).