evolution
I don't know which came first: Was I already crazy the first time I listened to Pink Floyd's The Wall or did Pink Floyd's The Wall make me crazy? The thing came out in 1979, so I was still pretty young but I think my brother had it, and some neighborhood kids his age, and of course all through high school you heard the singles that were released from it and whatnot. I even remember watching the movie with my Dad, who explained to me what "the wall" was. He said that the wall is that place where you just can't take any more, and you lose it. (I remember that he explained it so matter-of-factly, like he knew all about it. I remember looking at him for a long moment after he said it, probably wondering if he was going to demonstrate the "losing it" part right then and there. I also remember being completely embarrassed during the scene where the flowers become sexually active.....)
But I REALLY didn't get into The Wall into my freshmen year in college. I was a theatre tech major, and all the frickin' theatre tech majors listened to seemed to be Pink Floyd. So, I bought my own copy of The Wall. Now, I should say here, that my first years out of high school, I was pretty perpetually depressed. Anyway, the morning after I bought the thing, I got up to get ready to drive the 40 minutes to class at Wright State. I used to wear this dress all the time...this really simple cotton long-ish black dress. So I put this dress on and was ready to go, but I had a little while before class started, so I sat in the rocking chair in my parents living room, and I put in The Wall, and I turned it up LOUD. And I sat there in that rocking chair in my long black dress and listened to that album from beginning to end for the first time, and I really wonder if I didn't go a little crazy that day. I never did go to class that afternoon, but sat there and listened to that album over and over again until it came time for someone, either my mom or dad, to come home. I don't think I've been the same since.
Now, years later, when times get tough, I still put that CD in and I start at the beginning and I go all the way through, and I feel completely nuts, and exhausted, at the end. Now you tell me---do I reach for that album because I ALREADY feel crazy, or does that album MAKE me crazy? I suppose that it's possible it's a little bit of both. I can relate to Pink in that story so well. And I can visualize the scene at the end where all of the people who love him are walking around outside the wall, trying to reach him, but
"when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall."
On a side note (because there's ALWAYS a side note, isnt' there?) and to help prove my theory that Pink Floyd makes people crazy.... there was a boy who lived across the street from me growing up. He was OBSESSED with Pink Floyd. He is now a certified paranoid schizophrenic, among some other mental illnesses......now you tell me...was he crazy before he listened to Pink Floyd? Or did listening to Pink Floyd make him crazy?
But I REALLY didn't get into The Wall into my freshmen year in college. I was a theatre tech major, and all the frickin' theatre tech majors listened to seemed to be Pink Floyd. So, I bought my own copy of The Wall. Now, I should say here, that my first years out of high school, I was pretty perpetually depressed. Anyway, the morning after I bought the thing, I got up to get ready to drive the 40 minutes to class at Wright State. I used to wear this dress all the time...this really simple cotton long-ish black dress. So I put this dress on and was ready to go, but I had a little while before class started, so I sat in the rocking chair in my parents living room, and I put in The Wall, and I turned it up LOUD. And I sat there in that rocking chair in my long black dress and listened to that album from beginning to end for the first time, and I really wonder if I didn't go a little crazy that day. I never did go to class that afternoon, but sat there and listened to that album over and over again until it came time for someone, either my mom or dad, to come home. I don't think I've been the same since.
Now, years later, when times get tough, I still put that CD in and I start at the beginning and I go all the way through, and I feel completely nuts, and exhausted, at the end. Now you tell me---do I reach for that album because I ALREADY feel crazy, or does that album MAKE me crazy? I suppose that it's possible it's a little bit of both. I can relate to Pink in that story so well. And I can visualize the scene at the end where all of the people who love him are walking around outside the wall, trying to reach him, but
"when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall."
On a side note (because there's ALWAYS a side note, isnt' there?) and to help prove my theory that Pink Floyd makes people crazy.... there was a boy who lived across the street from me growing up. He was OBSESSED with Pink Floyd. He is now a certified paranoid schizophrenic, among some other mental illnesses......now you tell me...was he crazy before he listened to Pink Floyd? Or did listening to Pink Floyd make him crazy?