(no subject)
I had a very disturbing dream last night... It freaked me out. I had a dream that I had been accused of abusing some of the kids that I occasionally babysit. And it felt so real! I woke up thinking that there had actually been court proceedings and whatnot, and wondering how this family who I had grown so close to could suddenly mistrust me so much! It was just weird. Leave it to say that I was infinitely relieved when I realized this morning that it was just a dream...
Second (and on a much lighter note)... I got a picture of my daughter last night in my head, and it made me smile. She was in a pink princess/ballerina dress, and was smiling really really big for the camera. I remember thinking that I fully intend to take a picture like that when I have a her someday. I pray to God that I do at least a decent job of raising her to understand who she is: Royalty, Beautiful, a Princess, Lovely, Worthy of Romance...
She had my hair, and I'm assuming her father's eyes. They were blue, bright, beautiful. She was so precious, and I honestly can't wait to meet her someday.
Ironically, just an hour or two later, I was reading in the first chapter of Captivating, and it talks a little bit about the dreams in every little girl's heart, and they told some specific examples: a 5-year-old who had a dream that she was a queen, and told her mother she loved feeling the beauty she had possessed in that dream; a freckled 6-year-old who roamed an office building, smiling unabashedly as she sang a song about puppies and kittens. I got the image in my head again of my daughter, and how beautiful she will be.
Normally, I can't stand children over the age of two or three. I can deal with them, but I often find myself annoyed and/or at a loss as to how to entertain them. But seeing last night what a beautiful little princess my daughter will be... It refreshes my understanding of a child's heart. I thought about how I used to play dress-up, and my sisters and I would fight over who got to wear the prettiest dress. I remember wandering around after a family Christmas party in full ballerina regalia: the tights, the leotard, the slippers, and a knee-length, flowy, see-through skirt that I guess could be described as a tutu, but it was different... It was better. Just as everyone was leaving, they would comment on what a beautiful ballerina I made.
All this to say, I suppose, that I'm excited to be that little girl's mommy. I know it'll be years before I even get news that I'm going to meet her, but I'm excited nonetheless. Just like college, just like moving out on my own, just like my first job... It will be an adventure; and one I hope to embrace.
Second (and on a much lighter note)... I got a picture of my daughter last night in my head, and it made me smile. She was in a pink princess/ballerina dress, and was smiling really really big for the camera. I remember thinking that I fully intend to take a picture like that when I have a her someday. I pray to God that I do at least a decent job of raising her to understand who she is: Royalty, Beautiful, a Princess, Lovely, Worthy of Romance...
She had my hair, and I'm assuming her father's eyes. They were blue, bright, beautiful. She was so precious, and I honestly can't wait to meet her someday.
Ironically, just an hour or two later, I was reading in the first chapter of Captivating, and it talks a little bit about the dreams in every little girl's heart, and they told some specific examples: a 5-year-old who had a dream that she was a queen, and told her mother she loved feeling the beauty she had possessed in that dream; a freckled 6-year-old who roamed an office building, smiling unabashedly as she sang a song about puppies and kittens. I got the image in my head again of my daughter, and how beautiful she will be.
Normally, I can't stand children over the age of two or three. I can deal with them, but I often find myself annoyed and/or at a loss as to how to entertain them. But seeing last night what a beautiful little princess my daughter will be... It refreshes my understanding of a child's heart. I thought about how I used to play dress-up, and my sisters and I would fight over who got to wear the prettiest dress. I remember wandering around after a family Christmas party in full ballerina regalia: the tights, the leotard, the slippers, and a knee-length, flowy, see-through skirt that I guess could be described as a tutu, but it was different... It was better. Just as everyone was leaving, they would comment on what a beautiful ballerina I made.
All this to say, I suppose, that I'm excited to be that little girl's mommy. I know it'll be years before I even get news that I'm going to meet her, but I'm excited nonetheless. Just like college, just like moving out on my own, just like my first job... It will be an adventure; and one I hope to embrace.