(no subject)
i have been in georgia since ... thursday.
it's been ok .. i just miss home.. its sad that i call maryland home now though...
i miss catherine like crazy, i have seperation anxiety disorder. i swear.
maybe i just loooove her. i cant type on this keyboard.
anyways i came out to my family.
that .. was hard. especially with my cousin kelli.
we have always had a really close relationship.. starting when i was about 3. i told her i was gay, in a text message. she was "hurt" that i couldnt tell her face to face, or even on the phone. she thinks that i havent thought things through. but i have, i know what i want. i want catherine .. i have always liked girls .. and she doesnt get what i am going through or what i have been through. i dont want to hide anything from her anymore. she doesnt think im gay .. and its partially that she dosent want to admit it .. and its partially her redneck, ignorant, mentality. im southern, but im not ignorant. and thats why i can admit that im gay. she cant accept it and it does hurt me. she thinks that im going to grow out of this "phase" and find a man that i like. i wont .. i know i wont. i grew up really fast.. and she doesnt know that. she thinks that this is just something i thought because of my father. i dont understand how it could be because of him if i knew things were .. different.. before a lot of the stuff with him happened. she said that i dont know because i am so young... i am young.. but im not stupid. she never questioned her sexuality... she never had to. my aunt also told me i was really young to already be deciding all of these "life" decisions. they are both straight, and i told them that they wouldnt understand because of the fact that they dont know how i feel. she liked little boys when she was little.. i liked little girls.
i knew i was gay when i was little.
why cant anoyone fucking accept that?
i feel like the only people i have right now are the ones that are also gay.
straight people .. in my life.. dont understand.
i gave up tonight.
im not going to change for anyone.. i dont care if they think this is a phase or not.
im gay .. and if you dont like it .. dont bother talking to me.
its who i am .. i love my cousin to death .. but im not changing for her, or anyone else.
i just ran from the basement screaming cus i turned on the fan and the door opened and this is a freaky ass basement... i felt like i was 5 hahahaha.
catherine .. i love you.
and yes elfie .. i love you too.
it's been ok .. i just miss home.. its sad that i call maryland home now though...
i miss catherine like crazy, i have seperation anxiety disorder. i swear.
maybe i just loooove her. i cant type on this keyboard.
anyways i came out to my family.
that .. was hard. especially with my cousin kelli.
we have always had a really close relationship.. starting when i was about 3. i told her i was gay, in a text message. she was "hurt" that i couldnt tell her face to face, or even on the phone. she thinks that i havent thought things through. but i have, i know what i want. i want catherine .. i have always liked girls .. and she doesnt get what i am going through or what i have been through. i dont want to hide anything from her anymore. she doesnt think im gay .. and its partially that she dosent want to admit it .. and its partially her redneck, ignorant, mentality. im southern, but im not ignorant. and thats why i can admit that im gay. she cant accept it and it does hurt me. she thinks that im going to grow out of this "phase" and find a man that i like. i wont .. i know i wont. i grew up really fast.. and she doesnt know that. she thinks that this is just something i thought because of my father. i dont understand how it could be because of him if i knew things were .. different.. before a lot of the stuff with him happened. she said that i dont know because i am so young... i am young.. but im not stupid. she never questioned her sexuality... she never had to. my aunt also told me i was really young to already be deciding all of these "life" decisions. they are both straight, and i told them that they wouldnt understand because of the fact that they dont know how i feel. she liked little boys when she was little.. i liked little girls.
i knew i was gay when i was little.
why cant anoyone fucking accept that?
i feel like the only people i have right now are the ones that are also gay.
straight people .. in my life.. dont understand.
i gave up tonight.
im not going to change for anyone.. i dont care if they think this is a phase or not.
im gay .. and if you dont like it .. dont bother talking to me.
its who i am .. i love my cousin to death .. but im not changing for her, or anyone else.
i just ran from the basement screaming cus i turned on the fan and the door opened and this is a freaky ass basement... i felt like i was 5 hahahaha.
catherine .. i love you.
and yes elfie .. i love you too.