FlowerPetal of the House of Happyshinyness
You know something about the Pagan Community that annoys the ever-living hell out of me? The names people choose for themselves.
One of the common elements of many pagan faiths is that there is a balance in all things. If that is so, then not everyone gets to have words like "Silver," "Eagle," and "Wolf" in their names. For every "Starshine McBastfaerie," there should be one "Muddy Compostworm" or "Leaden Itchyhedge." Do we actually find people who are truly in touch with the nature of things who take on those names? Damned if I have. No, it's all "Raven Glitterhappy" or "Nefertiti Cleohelenoftroy" or equally ridiculous and pompous monikers.
I suggest there be a Pagan Naming Convention Office instituted for the good of the Community, who would keep a record of currently-used names in a fashion similar to that of the vanity plates desk at the DMV. Wouldn't tell who has a particular name, but simply that said name is already in use in your area. "I'm sorry, we cannot authorize the use of 'Cerridwen Goldenleaf' in your area, nor your alternate name, 'Rhiannon NewYorkGoddess' as both names are already over capacity for the population. Five thousand more pagans would have to register in your area before another Cerridwen slot opens, and there's a waiting list for Rhiannon of about seven years right now. We can do 'Hatshepsut Thunderthighs' by Wednesday. If not that, there's a reward offered for taking one of the outstanding slots of 'Bitchy MacSeptictank.' Please fill out form 4-D with your new selections and move to the back of the line. Next!"
One of the common elements of many pagan faiths is that there is a balance in all things. If that is so, then not everyone gets to have words like "Silver," "Eagle," and "Wolf" in their names. For every "Starshine McBastfaerie," there should be one "Muddy Compostworm" or "Leaden Itchyhedge." Do we actually find people who are truly in touch with the nature of things who take on those names? Damned if I have. No, it's all "Raven Glitterhappy" or "Nefertiti Cleohelenoftroy" or equally ridiculous and pompous monikers.
I suggest there be a Pagan Naming Convention Office instituted for the good of the Community, who would keep a record of currently-used names in a fashion similar to that of the vanity plates desk at the DMV. Wouldn't tell who has a particular name, but simply that said name is already in use in your area. "I'm sorry, we cannot authorize the use of 'Cerridwen Goldenleaf' in your area, nor your alternate name, 'Rhiannon NewYorkGoddess' as both names are already over capacity for the population. Five thousand more pagans would have to register in your area before another Cerridwen slot opens, and there's a waiting list for Rhiannon of about seven years right now. We can do 'Hatshepsut Thunderthighs' by Wednesday. If not that, there's a reward offered for taking one of the outstanding slots of 'Bitchy MacSeptictank.' Please fill out form 4-D with your new selections and move to the back of the line. Next!"