in honor of suong and cyndi
well you wanted me to update. so i shall. this WOULD be in my you-know-what, but yea. i'll do it here instead. ;]
well today was a boring day, just downloaded some music and talked to people online. hahhaa the littlest things amused me today. so i changed my aim profile a bazillion times.
now to the reason why i actually have a blog. ;]
so lately i've been wondering, am i over you? every muscle, nerve, tissue, thought, tells me that i'm not. then i try to ask myself why? well, we ended because of me. because i ignored you. because i left you alone. because i stopped calling you. i didn't really try hard enough to be with you. was it because it's my habit? my horrid habit of pushing people away? or my habit of just not being able to have a relationship because i don't want to get hurt. well you know what, i fell in that hole again. & this familiar pain is back again. although, i wouldn't say it hurts more. it just hurts.
i just want to talk to you to ask you, "we're over right?" & then you'll say yes, & i'll be peaceful again. because we didn't even really end, and we didn't even really begin. and i don't like being confused. i like everything to be out in the open. i vividly remember you telling me, "i have high hopes for the two of us." & well so do i. but it seems as if you have moved on, while i'm here, stuck.
every inch of me wants to move on, yet my soul resides near you, wanting you. wondering. regretting. hoping.
well today was a boring day, just downloaded some music and talked to people online. hahhaa the littlest things amused me today. so i changed my aim profile a bazillion times.
now to the reason why i actually have a blog. ;]
so lately i've been wondering, am i over you? every muscle, nerve, tissue, thought, tells me that i'm not. then i try to ask myself why? well, we ended because of me. because i ignored you. because i left you alone. because i stopped calling you. i didn't really try hard enough to be with you. was it because it's my habit? my horrid habit of pushing people away? or my habit of just not being able to have a relationship because i don't want to get hurt. well you know what, i fell in that hole again. & this familiar pain is back again. although, i wouldn't say it hurts more. it just hurts.
i just want to talk to you to ask you, "we're over right?" & then you'll say yes, & i'll be peaceful again. because we didn't even really end, and we didn't even really begin. and i don't like being confused. i like everything to be out in the open. i vividly remember you telling me, "i have high hopes for the two of us." & well so do i. but it seems as if you have moved on, while i'm here, stuck.
every inch of me wants to move on, yet my soul resides near you, wanting you. wondering. regretting. hoping.