(no subject)
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
Cause I'll never be with you.
Hello. It’s me again, here blogging. The lyrics above are from one of her favorite James Blunt songs. It’s almost funny in a way that in the end, this song would become the truth. I went to stay with her in Tampa and search for a house as planned. After the first night, I knew too much had changed in both our lives for things to be the way they once were. After a few days it became clear I couldn’t stay in her apartment anymore. Instead of driving home to all the responsibilities I had left on hold, I found a place to stay for a few more days determined to get my life back on track. By the time I was ready to leave Tampa, I had purchased a house and secured a transfer store for the months to come. I drove through the night along the beach trying desperately to quantify everything that I was once so certain of. I found myself in my driveway right as the sun was dawning. I locked myself in my house for the next few days to come in a constant disillusioned state. Too much wine one evening lead me to do the one thing I swore I would never do again. My scars are still screaming the inflected color of red to stand as proof. I pulled myself back to the waters surface determined not to lose this battle.
In the recent weeks, I’ve found ways to get by. I’ve been trying to keep as busy as I possibly can and it proves to be working. When I returned, I picked up a second job at a heath food shop. Even if I am the assistant manager, I can’t stand the smell of tofu and wheat grass. My mind no longer needs to be preoccupied so I’ve chosen put in my resignation.
While in one of my favorite night clubs on South Beach the other evening, my luck finally kicked into gear. I’ve somehow managed to work my way into the night life network, and someone finally noticed. A promoter from the club noticed my “way with women” and offered me a very tempting proposition. Armed with free drink tickets and a VIP guest list to one of the hottest clubs in Miami, I now have joined the world of plastic scenery. It is my job to walk through out the night club being one of the “beautiful people” and making a comfortable environment for all the women through flirtation. If this isn’t my niche, I’m not sure what is. :)
The other side of a break up is always a hard thing to face. I’m glad to say that I think the hardest one so far is almost over and under my belt.
I miss you two and I hope things are well with you both.
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
Cause I'll never be with you.
Hello. It’s me again, here blogging. The lyrics above are from one of her favorite James Blunt songs. It’s almost funny in a way that in the end, this song would become the truth. I went to stay with her in Tampa and search for a house as planned. After the first night, I knew too much had changed in both our lives for things to be the way they once were. After a few days it became clear I couldn’t stay in her apartment anymore. Instead of driving home to all the responsibilities I had left on hold, I found a place to stay for a few more days determined to get my life back on track. By the time I was ready to leave Tampa, I had purchased a house and secured a transfer store for the months to come. I drove through the night along the beach trying desperately to quantify everything that I was once so certain of. I found myself in my driveway right as the sun was dawning. I locked myself in my house for the next few days to come in a constant disillusioned state. Too much wine one evening lead me to do the one thing I swore I would never do again. My scars are still screaming the inflected color of red to stand as proof. I pulled myself back to the waters surface determined not to lose this battle.
In the recent weeks, I’ve found ways to get by. I’ve been trying to keep as busy as I possibly can and it proves to be working. When I returned, I picked up a second job at a heath food shop. Even if I am the assistant manager, I can’t stand the smell of tofu and wheat grass. My mind no longer needs to be preoccupied so I’ve chosen put in my resignation.
While in one of my favorite night clubs on South Beach the other evening, my luck finally kicked into gear. I’ve somehow managed to work my way into the night life network, and someone finally noticed. A promoter from the club noticed my “way with women” and offered me a very tempting proposition. Armed with free drink tickets and a VIP guest list to one of the hottest clubs in Miami, I now have joined the world of plastic scenery. It is my job to walk through out the night club being one of the “beautiful people” and making a comfortable environment for all the women through flirtation. If this isn’t my niche, I’m not sure what is. :)
The other side of a break up is always a hard thing to face. I’m glad to say that I think the hardest one so far is almost over and under my belt.
I miss you two and I hope things are well with you both.