the break-up rant
“So get this,” Sutton says, leaning back in his chair, putting his feet up on the table, lacing his fingers behind his head. “I broke up with Lacey the other day and-”
“You broke up with Lacey?” Kiev asks, leaning forward a bit and sucking hard on his joint before handing it over to Sutton.
“Yeah, she was getting on my nerves, ya’ know? Real clingy and all.”
“Dude, Lacey’s hot.”
“You date her, then.” Sutton takes a hit and tries to keep the smoke in till his lungs ache and he just has to exhale. “She’s annoying as fuck. Anyways, so I’m trying to get my words right, right? Like, I don’t want to hurt her feelings or anything. I mean, like, I didn’t want her to cry or something. “
“Ah, man, Naomi cried when I broke with her and I had no idea what to say to her,” Kiev cuts in.
I can’t stand it when girls cry. I never know what to say. I just feel like an ass.”
“Exactly. So anyways, she looks at me and she’s like ‘We can still be friends, right?’” Sutton just laughs and watches the edges of the paper blacken and burn. “So I told her yeah, we’ll still be friends.” Another laugh, hard and humorless. “The best of fuckin’ friends. Anyways, this morning she calls me and she’s like ‘Sutton lets go to the movies!’”
Kiev dissolves into hysteria at this. “Are you serious, man?”
“Yeah I’m fuckin’ serious. You think I could make that shit up?”
“She seriously asked you that?”
“Yeah! And she’s like ‘as friends, ya’ know?’ And then she still wants to drag me to some chick flick, too!” He scoffs. “Women.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, I don’t have to.” Kiev reaches for the joint as he says “I mean, you just told me.”
Sutton looks at Kiev with incredulity. “You’re fuckin’ retarded, ya’ know that?”
“Wha-”
“Were you dropped on your head or somethin’ when you were a baby, man? I mean, Jesus fuckin’ Christ, dude.”
“Yeah, I guess that was pretty stupid…”
The only response Kiev gets is an exaggerated eye-roll from Sutton.
xxx
july 2008
“You broke up with Lacey?” Kiev asks, leaning forward a bit and sucking hard on his joint before handing it over to Sutton.
“Yeah, she was getting on my nerves, ya’ know? Real clingy and all.”
“Dude, Lacey’s hot.”
“You date her, then.” Sutton takes a hit and tries to keep the smoke in till his lungs ache and he just has to exhale. “She’s annoying as fuck. Anyways, so I’m trying to get my words right, right? Like, I don’t want to hurt her feelings or anything. I mean, like, I didn’t want her to cry or something. “
“Ah, man, Naomi cried when I broke with her and I had no idea what to say to her,” Kiev cuts in.
I can’t stand it when girls cry. I never know what to say. I just feel like an ass.”
“Exactly. So anyways, she looks at me and she’s like ‘We can still be friends, right?’” Sutton just laughs and watches the edges of the paper blacken and burn. “So I told her yeah, we’ll still be friends.” Another laugh, hard and humorless. “The best of fuckin’ friends. Anyways, this morning she calls me and she’s like ‘Sutton lets go to the movies!’”
Kiev dissolves into hysteria at this. “Are you serious, man?”
“Yeah I’m fuckin’ serious. You think I could make that shit up?”
“She seriously asked you that?”
“Yeah! And she’s like ‘as friends, ya’ know?’ And then she still wants to drag me to some chick flick, too!” He scoffs. “Women.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, I don’t have to.” Kiev reaches for the joint as he says “I mean, you just told me.”
Sutton looks at Kiev with incredulity. “You’re fuckin’ retarded, ya’ know that?”
“Wha-”
“Were you dropped on your head or somethin’ when you were a baby, man? I mean, Jesus fuckin’ Christ, dude.”
“Yeah, I guess that was pretty stupid…”
The only response Kiev gets is an exaggerated eye-roll from Sutton.
xxx
july 2008