(Untitled)
Title: The Lovely April
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Sachiko, Misa, Sayu, mentions of Soichiro and Light, Sayu's husband who I couldn't think of a name for.
Warnings: Slow descent into insanity, insane amounts of descriptive writing, senility, character death. The sacrifice of flow for emotion and poetry.
Word Count: 6,170 (my other one had over ( Read more... )
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Sachiko, Misa, Sayu, mentions of Soichiro and Light, Sayu's husband who I couldn't think of a name for.
Warnings: Slow descent into insanity, insane amounts of descriptive writing, senility, character death. The sacrifice of flow for emotion and poetry.
Word Count: 6,170 (my other one had over ( Read more... )
But let us move on to what is important. The story. Dear God, I will give you my right hand if you could just please, pleeeeaassseee TELL ME HOW THE FUCK YOU WRITE LIKE THIS!!!
The second paragraph caught me at first. I had to scroll back go, 'Oh, right' but that was cool because I liked how Misa was the in-between yet the one never to mend and the first to go, how she broke the continuity that worked between the mother and child.
Then it was the usual brilliance that I have come to expect from you. But, you decided to turn around and give me a fucking bitch slap for getting complacent when I hit "Summer". Because describing the sun is cliched and hell, I am guilty of it too, but *place many filthy words here* you took my breath away with Sachicko's piece.
You later preempted me when I was beginning to wonder, 'Dear God, is Sachicko immune to old age? I would be suffering from arthritis by now and here she is mopping the damn floor'. It was kind, getting lost in Alzheimer's taking over her daughter's place but filled, at least, with happiness. God, I hated Raito so many times in the manga and this story truly took care of that but the end where Sachicko's finds peace and bugger he just WAS, so I'll give it a rest.
Of course, I could never and can never understand how anyone would be so traumatised being kidnapped by Mello. One glance at him, and I'd be too busy thinking dirty, dirty, horny thoughts to be traumatised.
Ah, and Misa. I never quite hated her simply found her to be annoying and a pest to the empowerment of womankind. Her death so cold, so sad, so lonely. Reminded me of one suicide pact in the horror manga 'Jisatsu Circle'. Except her jumped hand in hand with a ghost that just took and took and took.
And it ended in a circle with old Sachicko's demise and new Sachicko's beginning.
Am hitting Youtube now to listen to the song. Damn, there's loads more I'd love to say about this fic but I think I'm starting to think of you as 'literary canon' and should be studied. So for my sanity I'm hitting the rosary tale yet again. Ok, I lie. It's just that the image of the two wolf puppies is hounding me.
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Somehow this also won, even though only two people commented. I dun understand. D:
hehehehehhee ilu Svad <3 You are so much fun.
The truth is I've just been jonesing to write Misa. Writing Misa going crazy was just too good an opportunity to pass up.
You like 'Summer'? I like that bit too. 'Night' is unashamedly my favorite one.
NOW you make me want to go back and put something about arthritis in there. Yeah, I kept making nuances that she was losing her memory, but the effect is still a bit sudden. Hm.
XDDD I like Raito. Hate Kira's guts though. What a bastard.
Roflcopter, oh. Reminds me of a conversation with my dearest sister from another mother:
"Wait, so, Sayu got kidnapped by Mello?"
"Yup."
"Lucky."
I don't think she was that traumatized by everyone's favorite leather-clad hellion. I think the whole getting shot at while trapped in a glass box/getting accosted by Near the same day/knowledge of her own helplessness affected her the most.
(Subconsciously self-imposed? If her existence is meaningless, why exist...? Wow I'm getting really off subject.)
(Plus I think Mello kept her from getting harmed. All gun-threatening with his feathers ruffled and narrowed eyes. Not Mello/Sayu--although I pine for Mello/Matt/Sayu interaction. Pinepinepine. WOW REALLY REALLY OFF SUBJECT.)
Argh. Seriously. Although Misa does make me laugh on occasion. Why does Death Note have to kill all off all the cool, strong, independent women? Damnit.
(Well, in this Sayu and Sachiko sort of turn into strong, independent women. So.)
Yes. How cliche is that? xD
<3 Heehehehehe.
With all the trouble canon puts me through? I'm flattered.
xDDDDD THAT WAS MY FAVORITE LINE. Inspired by Romulus and Remus/Wolves of Kromer. How in the world am I ever going to write Mello/Matt with dialogue ever again?
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I love you too dearest Raven. My life would be dry and faded without your polychromatic stories.
This was entered in a contest? You must tell me the next time you do so I may shamelessly vote for you.
Oh, definitely. I remember someone saying something about how her story was dealing with the part where Raito was 'all Motherfucking Teresa' and I burst out in very inappropriate laughter.
Funny you should mention that. I was rereading the kidnapping bit again and was of the same opinion. There's none of that around, dear. Your pining is lost in the wilderness.
Trés cruel, I concur. Wedy, Misora (do you know until almost the end I held to the hope of her managing to elude her fate? Optimistic to the point of being ridiculous, I called myself).At least Hal managed to get out unscathed.
Hell, that whole story was made of win. Including the sly insertion of B *hugs Raven for being a darling* Anyway, just remember that dialogue means lots and lots of yummy foul, uncouth and not to mention blasphemeous language and you'd be good to go. Which reminds me, you suffering from writer's block on 'Miserlou'?
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adfljks. I must write it then. Matt and Mello would totally corrupt Sayu. Well, in my ideal crack world of crack.
Damn. And they're my favorite characters, too. I wrote a Wedy/Mello interaction because I liked her so much. And I came up with a brilliant idea for Misora meeting Matt. And then a not-so-brilliant idea where she goes to Wammy's House to teach L capoeira and the Wammy Boys all fall in love with her. Which is funny, because they would be thirteen and she would be engaged to Gorgeous Penber. :/ I am strange.
Wish I could write Hal, because she's an individual thinker. She never comes out the way I want her to. It's like writing Mello. I can never be sure if it's in character or not.
xD Oh B. I love B. He's so crazy. It's so fun to write crazy.
Not writer's block...per se. I know where I want to go. And I know how I want it to end. And I have the next chapter typed up and waiting in my Documents on my fanfiction account. Right now it's just a matter of writing it and making sure I fill in the plot holes while still carrying through with the story's momentum. I have a terrific phobia of mangling this ending. So far, within the story itself, there's nothing I want to change. Which is an extraordinary feat. I want to make sure I keep it up. The last thing I want to do is let myself down.
Besides, my writing process is so complicated for Miserlou. I've got to read all the chapters I've already written so far, and then grab a pen and pull my hair back all the way and write down everything that goes through my head, or else I'll lose that idea forever. Ugh. I'm unbearable.
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I did try most valiantly to be constructive in my review so I only feel it's only fair that I get to gush here.
Ryuuzaki as a sneeze. Fucking hilarious but it was topped by his cape getting stuck. Ah, the demented, sulky panda had no luck in this story.
And Watery! Oh fuck, beyond description how I felt every time that bastardisation of Watari came up.
The Joker, of course, was done to perfection, rare with blood oozing out.
I love 'A' and Bruce=Howl (all that UNUSUAL activities) and name dropping Fox.
I love your dialogues. You must never not write them. 'The Rosary' (as it is titled in my head) being an exception.
I think the Misora story is perfect but I shall be too busy finding your Wedy/Mello to comment more on it.
How odd. I have always thought your Mello was a perfect blend of mad / sane. That is why I enjoy your writings so much. I need not gnash my teeth every other line.
*Hugs Raven* Thank you for caring so much for 'Miserlou'. It is not unbearable it is simply a perfectionist at work. Sometimes I cannot believe how comfortable I am writing to you when you are such an amazing writer. I was ever so diffident (and still am, a little) when I first started but one simply has to SAY something when one comes across something so fantastic.
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:]
Rofl. Sirius Gordon is a hoot. I wanted to get that whole normal guy whose life is really...what-the-hell-oh-shit most of the time. That whole "I try to do the best with what I have" line is so telling.
OH but I love writing cracky, childish L. And redeemed myself some by having him be 'interested' in Bruce. xD
No idea where 'Watery' came from.
Oh thank youuu. Writing him was an experience. Hmm. If the Joker is rare, would Two-Face be well done?
Hahahahah ♥ Quite an apt title.
Better than, I dunno, Horny Little Geniuses Touching Themselves/Each Other.
:/
Good luck, considering I never finished it. I am a miserable failure.
See, I always think I write Mello a bit too crazy. I figure his emotional, impulsive rage is what differentiates him from Near, so I tend to put a lot of emphasis on it, which is tricky because he's also a genius. The same with Matt. It's not as much of a struggle, but I constantly have to keep myself from having him melt into a puddle. I mean, in 'The Rosary' I really had to struggle with that, because he does melt a little bit, thanks his pituitary gland. It does not help at all that I have severe paranoia.
Bah. Forgive me. I'm probably boring you to do death.
I'm so obsessed with picking nits. Damn.
Careful with all these glowing compliments! I might mishandle them and blow my ego sky high.
You are so sweet. My firm belief that I don't deserve such amazing feedback is starting to waver.
Thank you though, thank you so much. I know I've told you, but it's so damn good to know my work out there is appreciated by somebody. It keeps me going; a fact I'm not graceful or reserved enough to keep hidden.
Your responses to my writing make me glad that I am not. :D
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